WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR JULY2015
Replies
-
evening ladies~
my work week is done..DSIL is in the hospital, she had a screw placed in her jaw years ago from a car accident and it is now infected.. she is up in New Hampshire and not at her usual Dr. so we are hoping they can get things under control..
came home and DH wants to get things done in the kitchen so he gets up at 2 a.m, goes to work until 3, comes home has dinner and a shower then starts up on working on the kitchen, we will go see his father in the morning and then home to work in the kitchen until 3 or so. and then out to eat, then come home do more work on the kitchen, then sunday keepin at it.. he never stops to do anything fun. or do anything together except saterday night dinner out..
Oh well.. will make him some tea when he gets home and I will read and go to bed..0 -
Call me crazy but I love to see other people happy and succeeding .
Good Evening Ladies,
Renny, good to see you. I hope you are doing well?
Michele NC, I can’t wear high heels either, but mine is as much about my back as it is about my feet. And the truth is, they just look so da^# nice with some outfits. With Becca’s dress, I do think an open toe shoe would look good. And I do hope you never feel guilty about feeding Vince good foods that he doesn’t know what he’s eating? Just remember, “what they don’t know won’t hurt us”.
Gayle, do you often travel for work? So good that you work out when you are away.
Joyce, I don’t know what it is about landscaping, but ours is either too young and small or too old and overgrown. I love a beautiful yard and never feel that I have one. Some have been better than others. For sure, I need ideas as there is no originality in this brain. The biggest problem in our current home is that the soil is solid hard clay. DH can’t even dig in much of it to try to plant something and then that something probably won’t live. Oh well.
Allison, glad you slept well and I hope you don’t feel dizzy either. I took a pain pill before bed last night because my shoulder was really hurting. It didn’t help that pain and on top of that, I was wide awake.
I finally got up and went down stairs to ice my shoulder while I read a chapter in my book. When I came back to bed I was finally able to go to sleep.
Heather, it was nice to have the spinach feta pie in the fridge the next day when I was ready for lunch. You had said it was also good cold and you were right. I love having something different for lunch because that is a meal I tend to get in a rut with. Have a wonderful time in Salisbury. I know you will look wonderful in whatever you wear.
ToniMN, you said, “Yes, I am a writer. I published my first book in 2010. It is called "Second Time Foster Child" and you can get it on Amazon if you are interested. It's non-fiction--due to a pretty horrendous situation that the state of IL put us through, and it's something that netted some law changes and a congressional award for me. I can tell you more if you are interested.” We are interested so share more when you have the time. We are happy to have you with us.
Lillian, it sounds like you have a handle on things. Have fun at the party.
Gilly, glad to see you and give you a reminder that you are not to stress over being behind. I do know what you mean, though about being nosey. When I am away and get behind, I want to know what all has gone on. I guess it’s a curse some of us have.
Pip, at least you aren’t getting any worse. Are you?
Just please do take care, as we all care about you.
Katla, any plant with the name, Santa Clause, can’t be all bad. I hope it behaves as you want.
Meg, what in the world does your DD think will happen to her child if she isn’t touching her??? There is no way that kid can grow up normal. How sad. I’m on my way to you so we can have our party …oh, er that is house cleaning party. Tee hee hee
Maryrose, welcome. Listen, I hope being 50 didn’t faze you too much, cause hopefully it will just keep getting better, and older. Great that you found an exercise class you like and Kudos for making a 5:30 class. Wow. Come often and join right in.
Heather, so sorry your walk to dinner got rained out. Maybe it will be finished in time to walk back. Hope you enjoy!
Miriam, sorry for your son’s problems. I’ll be thinking of you both while he makes the move.
Jane, Happy Dance right along with you. Oops did I step on your toe??? Sorry. Congrats on all good results.
Linda, I often read words that aren’t what was typed, too. It makes for some funny sentences. Have fun reading and we’ll see you about Tuesday.
I went to a podiatrist a couple of weeks ago and the PA was getting history and asking questions. She asked me what I weigh and I was so excited to be able to say 177 rather than the 230 that I had been for years and years. Today I went through my closet and removed the last of my big clothes. I had kept a few of the things that were the smallest that I could still wear even though they were very loose. Now they are just too big to consider wearing so out they went. Some were those things that were relatively new and that I really liked. I wish I could just make them shrink!! Lol Ladies, I appreciate you all so much. I hope you have fewer burdens and worries and that you and your loved ones are happy and healthy. May we all have fewer complaints and enjoy life to the fullest.
]
Words I live by:
Savor. I have to slow down and savor every bite.
and
Opportunity. Each day offers new opportunities for good health and happiness if we just look for them and choose them.
I Love you,
DJ
Myrtle Beach, SC
0 -
Did an hour in the water today. The plan for tomorrow is to do a Total Body Strength Training DVD.
After exercise, took my friend to Charlotte for her eye appt. Actually, she was going to be here at 8:30 but got here at 8. I was just coming back from the Y and then I stopped at Food Lion for a second. Vince was actually asleep! But it all worked out in the end. This afternoon went with Vince to the cardiologist. In retrospect, I really didn't need to go, I should have cleaned out the spa and steps to the pool then went to WalMart for some items I needed. Had to do that after I got home. Didn't have time to go in the pool (waaa!)
Vince is scheduled for an MRI of his shoulder. Jess is going to be here this weekend and we're going to talk to her about the EP study.
Joyce - happy birthday to Charlie. So glad you had such a wonderful dinner. Charlie's dad's wife sounds like something else
Miriam - I do hope your son can find something for him. That's terrible about what the landlord does
Toni in MN - tell us more. I'm interested
pip - I agree, that concussion has lasted much too long
Meg - I do hope when they refire the turtle that there isn't a problem. I wanted to put the clear coat on the nails and eyelashes since they weren't the invision paint (they didn't have the envision red so I used the other). You know, I'm not crazy at all about those cheddar biscuits at Red Lobster either. I can have a tiny bit of one and that's enough for me. They really don't do anything for me.
I don't know why, but I'm so very tired. Must be because I got up so early to exercise, who knows the reason. Well, I do want to scrub the floor of our shower just so that I don't reinfect myself with another plantar wart, then I'm going to take a shower and hopefully go to sleep. Maybe I'm tired because I'm walking funny
Sylvia - our Y has a girls/family locker room. I don't know why more people don't use it. I use it all the time. The changing rooms are BIG, you can just leave your things in the room, you never have to wait for a shower. The only thing it doesn't have is one of those suit spinners. So I just go into the lady's locker room and use theirs.
Welcome everyone new
That's right, I need to clean up before Jess gets here.
Hot flash coming on. Haven't had one in a while.
Michele in NC0 -
Good 4 U, DJ. -
I am able to button some pants that when I started losing weight I could not even pull them together to button them. Now they hang off my hips. I'm losing about 2lbs a week and now putting on muscle and taking off the fat. Have you thought about (maybe) taking some of those newer clothes to a tailor? That's be a little less expensive if he/she could alter them instead of having to go out and replace them (since you said you liked them and there were fairly new). Just a suggestion.
@miriamwithcats - I'll keep you and your son in my prayers.
0 -
Becca: I am an astoria resident as well. Glad to see a fellow clatsop county gal who loves our scenery, loves to walk the river walks and beach. Good exercise and wonderful stuff for our heart and lungs.0
-
Miriam prayers! MnMargaret 0
-
DamitJanit wrote: »Call me crazy but I love to see other people happy and succeeding .
Lillian, I hope you didn’t misunderstand what I was saying. The mature referred to our years, not our actions. I, in no way am asking any of us to act our age.
DJ
Myrtle Beach, SC
No...I didn't misunderstand. I'm pretty sure I will never learn to act my age!! ha ha
Lillian
Why would anyone want to act their age....no fun in that....hubs and I never act our age and that is what keeps us "cool" in our adult kid's lives!
Cheri
I don't think that DH and I act our ages. In fact, I know we don't. We, too, have fun with our adult children and even more fun with our DGDs. Three of them live next door, the other in Louisiana. One is off at college. She finished summer school - hopefully doing good on chemistry and calculus class. I think she bit off a lot and it was difficult to chew.0 -
Whoever posted that spinach and feta cheese thingy; please post it again - recipe - if that is what got posted. I'm just trying to keep up what is posted daily.0
-
@oystereyes ooh a local coastie!!! How cool is that!?! I am over in Hammond though. Moved here back in 2012 so my husband could get on the liver transplant list at OHSU in Portland. Well May of 2014 he did, and we are so blessed! This is my trail I like to walk...after the 4-way in Warrenton at the Dog Park on the right.
We have walked the Riverwalk, but I am not fond of the annoying sealions!!! Husband and I walk around Astoria though, and also Seaside....love all our trendy shops. I had to pull my husband away from "Danish Maid" today though....
@NO_Excuses_515 Im odd I will admit it! :-) In Oregon however, we can not pump our own gas....so that is the reason why I don't know how (well)....Husband pulled into the gas station and I had to "show my hands" while he was cleaning the windshield! I am such bad luck...so I had my hands up...yelling "THEY'RE UP HUSBAND!"
I also got my drivers licence at the age of 51 so um, if you visit the coastal area of Oregon watch out for a little green car!!
@megblair1 Sadly it's a TEXTILE WORLD so I can't walk around wearing a smile and flip-flops!!! :-) I could ONCE but then I would have to contend with the screaming neighbors, and police would get involved.....quite a scene I would cause!! I am only a proper nudist at legally approved places, and of course my balcony, with enough sheets to go over the railing.
@miakoda40 Laughing everyday is the key to everything....truely!!!! Better sex, better skin, healthier heart, and happy mind....(ok that sounded like a fortune cookie!). To making you smile...I say simply....you are WELCOME :-)
@DeeDee2211 I appreciate your kind words friend. I have zeroed in on the best shoes and clutch purse so far...and the winners.
http://www.yoox.com/us/45254174RA/item?dept=bagsaccwomen#sts=sr_bagsaccwomen80&cod10=45254174RA&sizeId=1
http://www.yoox.com/us/44760213KN/item?dept=women#sts=sr_women80&cod10=44760213KN&sizeId=
Adorable right? I liked the felt-like look of the outside of the shoe.
Ok I am tired and my husband is yelling from the other room...."Babykins.....", he is saying. My new pet name.... hahahahaha. After transplant I admitted that I missed pet names, so he calls me the most intoxicating sugary cute names he can come up with. Quite endearing, but its the tone......
Becca by the beach...by the Coastal waters of Oregon...0 -
The reason most people fail instead of succeed is that they trade what they want the MOST for what they want at the MOMENT.
Stats for today:
19,000 steps
two and half hours of dog walking
89 minutes on the exercise bike while knitting and watching TV
taught the two hour beginner line dance class Barbie from slightly rainy NW Washington
0 -
stats for the day:
ride hm 2 gym- 12.16min, 14.3amph, 2.9mi = 79c
spin- 35min, 91ar, 112aw, 11-12g, 15.7mi = 305c
ride dome 2 hm- 5.51min, 14amph, 1.3mi = 61c
Ride dome 2 red Robbin- 20.02min, 9.1amph, 3mi = 214c
walk red robbin 2 hm - 17.31min, 1mi = 59c
total cal 7180 -
Too hot here today. Heat index was 114, so I was inside most of the day. Going in and out of the grocery store nearly did me in. We walked the dogs about 8:30 and it was still miserable. Bought some new pajamas today in a size medium. They fit but they are slightly snug. They have weenie dogs all over them. Cute. While I was at Walmart I bought some bread and sandwich stuff that my son asked me to pick up, and I went a little nuts buying extra stuff that he didn't ask for. Like yogurt and frozen waffles and orange juice. I know the kids never get those things and they love them.
I made chili for dinner for the first time since my second blocked colon. It happened to be the last meal I ate before BOTH episodes, so even though the docs said there was no connection, I'm a little skittish. It seems an odd thing to have on such a hot day, but that's what I had available. And I didn't put in extra peppers like before, so it was pretty mild.
I'm off to bed. Good night all.
Sylvia0 -
Hello everyone! I mowed my lawn for the first time today it was over 23,000 steps and a lot of woman handling in the very neglected yard. I also did my strong lift 5x5 routine. So I logged over 1,100 calories. Our old house has been reroofed and should be reinspected tomorrow. If all goes well we may close on both houses next week. Hopefully before Friday. Friday we will be flying to LasVegas on a trip that my DH won through his hard work at selling this was a nation wide company promotion so he did really well. We don't gamble so am going for sun and fun.
Have a great day everyone!
Mary from Minnesota0 -
I am trying to figure out how to use this site. Almost the end of July and I have not been able to stick to the plan. I started in February and have lost only 18 pounds so I am starting over right now. My goals for the rest of the month are:
Logging food every day
No ice cream when I am alone
Some kind of exercise 4 times a week0 -
Hello all: Have been reading but not posting much. With 10 acres and horses to care for I have been getting in 8000 to 10000 steps every day. Food has not been too bad and I have lost 6 pounds since we moved here, mostly due to being more active. Four of those pounds were gained in the weeks before the move.
Katla - Thanks for the info on the no-call list.
Carol - Sorry about the shoulder. It is a very complex joint and takes a long time to heal. I was off work for three months with my shoulder surgery, had PT from middle of August until end of November.
We had rain today for the first time since we moved to WA seven weeks ago. Yeah!
Sue in WA0 -
bump0
-
Carol: We've been on the no call list for a long time on our home phone. It hasn't eliminated sales calls entirely, but they're rare. I get lots of calls for surveys and political contributions. Not too happy about it but when I ask them not to call my house they stop. The message I read about the "no call list" said that the calls would be prohibited for 5 years and if someone wanted to continue to be call free they would have to register again then. :grumble:
Cheri in NE OH: Congratulations on the loss! :bigsmile:
Miriamwithcats: I'm sorry your son has had housing problems. The plan to move him to an HUD apartment in Iowa sounds good. I hope all works out for him. :flowerforyou:
I had my riding lesson this afternoon, and I had to beg off of anything faster than a walk because my back was killing me. Thank goodness things like that are not frequent occurrences. I transplanted one of my new Santa Claus fuchsias and "bulled my way through" moving the dirt, filling the hole and getting my little plant situated, as my DH said a minute ago. I'll try to remember not to dig in my yard on riding lesson days in the future.
Katla in Beautiful NW Oregon
“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.” Thomas A. Edison
July Goals:
1. Log every bite and swallow.
2. Cardio exercise at least 3 days a week. Work on flexibility and back strength.
3. Have fun every day.
4. Drink at least three glasses of water daily, preferably more!
5. Eliminate alcohol.
6. Monitor sleep. Try to average 7 or more hours of sleep nightly.
0 -
Allison, you get to feeling better. Your DSIL infection sounds serious. I never like the idea of an infection in a bone.
Heather, have fun this weekend. You eat all the Indian food you want. I don't like that stuff at all!
Miriam, OCD patients are stubborn. Your rationale doesn't fit in their way of order. Sometimes the 'system' is just totally messed up. I am so sorry you and your son have to go through all of that. well of the other people also. I am glad that he is going to come back and live in your area. All we can dois love them and hope that it all turns out oK.
Toni MN, what an ordeal you must have gone through. But because of it, you made some law changes and helped a lot of people. God works in mysterious ways.
Terri, Milwaukee, no, you can't use a double discount. But check with Hotwire to see if they offer a guarantee on the room. I have just learned to ask places if they accept AAA, AARP or a senior discount. I do know that Pizza Hut offers a senior discount and they deliver!!! LOL. AARP itself offers a lot of discounts from car rental to flowers and then a lot of local places offer their own AARP. We have gotten our moneys worth from our membership dues. I am glad the lion is gone. The videos they showed on national TV sure looked scary. It seemed to have been close to a ladies back yard.
Pip, I am glad that the doctor is as worried as we have been.I appreciate you wanting to get the MS bike ride in but not if it is dangerous or over taxing to you. And I think I speak for every person with MS.
MIA, do you still owrk as an nurse? If so what specialty? I was a nurse for almost 30 years and I spent more of my time in cardiac but have been in general med/surg and surgical oncology. Oh, I see you are a trauma nurse. Whe I first went into nursing school, I wanted to be in the ER so that I could experience it all. We had quite a few of the nurses on my unit that went to the ER and said it was easier than floor nursing. How old is your grand daughter? Do you thin her behavior is all the childs fault or her parenting? I know some parents are very protective of their child, especially if it is the first. I know I was.
Mary Rose, welcome. Tell us more about the Y class. Is the main purpose of the drum sticks to be a cardio workout?
DJ, I was so proud to give my real nice 'fat lady; clothes to a clothing bank that was in the inner city. They have a department that is completely a career line for the women in the inner city to have something nice to wear to an interview and them to help them in the first couple of weeks.
Michele. I go to all of Charlie's doctor appointments. It isn't that he forgets things, he just doesn't think it is important to retain anything to pass along to me or doesn't ask the kind of questions I think that need to be asked. He has NEVER gone to any of mine, including the neurologist. He even made a point of leaving my hospital room when I told my family she was going to meet there in 15 minutes. He got up and left. GRRRR
Syvia, good luck with the chili. There are just some things that our body recognizes that doctors don't understand. We have a car salesman here who's name is Don and when he does his commercials advertising his hot deals, he says 'It's hot Don'. So everyone says that around here in the summer.
Mary, Minnesota, yeah on your potential closing of both houses!!!!! Be careful when you go to Vegas and do not fall!! LOL
We went to our usual place to eat on Friday nights, Denny's. I had my usual cranberry, grilled chicken salad with a side of bananas. It comes with sliced apples on top but I have them subsitute a banana. It also comes with candied pecans but i give those to Charlie. Since it is his birthday, he could have his choice of any of the Slam breakfast. So he took one pancake home and will eat it tomorrow morning absolutely covered in strawberry preserves. Instead of eating the second pancake he ordered a chocolate lava cake. It comes with chocolate ice cream instead of vanilla. He said it was very good but the 'lava' was very hot. Michelle's work place likes to have pitch in dinners every couple of months. So tonight was Christmas in July. She found a recipe on Pinterest for Santa hats. It's a brownie bite, with just enough white frosting on it to make an upside down strawberry to stick on it then a little dab of frosting on the top of the strawberry. She brought leftovers over after work so Charlie could have them for his birthday. I must say they are very good. I didn't realize that Walmart's bakery browning bites were so good. Bad thing for me to know.
We went around to day and looked at landscaping. When we had our house built, the guy had 3 subdivisions and he had about 5 models of homes to choose from. I knew that there were quite a few bi-levels over in one of those subdivisions so we went over there. There was some I liked and others were overgrown just like ours and some that just were totally bare. I need landscaping that will look good on a two story or bi-level. I am disappointed that the two companies I called yesterday and today have not called me to schedule an appointment. I will give them Monday and if they haven't called back by then will write them off the list.
This is a picture of our house. You can hardly see the house from the bushes. We are having all those bushes removed and the huge tree that is behind the house is coming out also. The one thing I don't like is I have an azalea in front that is crowded between the two bushes but it now so mishapened that it will look really strange when the bushes come out.
Joyce, indiana0 -
Oh, I also just found your thread and really like the monthly goals and the support of those who are posting. I am new to the boards, not real sure how this works, but hope to join in and be a part of this.0
-
Back from holidays. I am apparently not very good at balancing my life. I didn't do any kind of a job of keeping track of my food and I certainly didn't post on here. Just starting reading a few pages back so know that I am way behind on news.
Miriam - Praying for your son and his situation.
Becca - Looking forward to the photo of the two of you looking all snazzy.
Cheri - Great job! Losing 15 lbs is certainly an accomplishment.
Lesley - I hope you feel better soon
Pip - I am so sorry that you have a concussion. I am glad that you are pursuing all avenues to take back your health and well being.
I went camping/fishing with DH at beginning of vacation. The fishing was the pits but the bird watching was great. Geese, ducks, loons, bald eagles, osprey, swan and one big old pelican. Saw Mama Bear and her twins. Heard there was a cougar in the area but never spotted it which was okay with me. Nice sunny days out on the boat. DD brought DGC and their friends up for one day. We fished, roasted wieners, played at the playground and played baseball. A perfect day.
Unpacked the trailer, washed clothes , packed and gone the next morning. We drove to Keremeous on that day. It was a quaint little stop. Ate at a Thai restaurant but DH was left hungering so we went to a different restaurant where he could get a drink and fries. Lol We explored the back roads enjoying vicariously how the other half lives on their acreages. Some beautiful but massive houses.
We were greeted enthusiastically in Richmond. It always feels a little odd when the first night we are there my DDIL invites her friends for supper with us. Don't get me wrong they are nice people but the first night we just want to catch up with DS, DDIL and the DGSs. C'est la vie.
We went to Hicks lake and had an enjoyable day. First trip ever that I forgot my swim suit. I did wade in the water. It was nice that our DGD , her girlfriend and our DGGS were able to join us. Nice day except for the drive. Next day we went to an adventure playground, appointment with accountant and a ride on the Sea Wall around Stanley park. I rented a trike but that museum piece weighed a ton and was hard to control, nothing at all like my Sparkle Orange. I did make the ride though.
DGS came back with us. We stopped in Okanogan to see some friends and family. I was so proud of the way he introduced himself and put up with all our visiting. We are home now and he is anxious to be with his cousin. Plans call for long boarding, cycling, swimming , jamming together and movie watching. Long talks into the evening. I think Gramps wants to take them camping and fishing also.
Toodle Ooh for now.
- Sharon in Lethbridge (hoping to get back on track)0 -
Had breakfast. The scrambled eggs were over cooked and so were DH'S poached eggs. Awful 70s kitch music. :sad: Otherwise the place is great. Quiet room and an excellent arrangement for going to the bathroom in the night with a small glowing spot on the mirror so you can just about see. Great idea!
So, off to Salisbury cathedral!
Heather UK0 -
Joyce in Indiana. I am a Master Gardener and also took landscaping design classes. How much maintenance are you thinking you want to do? There is no such thing as a maintenance free landscape. Some ideas for your front are bo><wood shrubs- they are slow growing and handle pruning to limit their height well. You often see these in fancy herb garden or mosaic gardens for that reason- they use them to outline the design. Spruce are very slow growing and come in dwarf forms. If you want more color spirea varieties are good since they need to be cut down to about 6 inches in the late winter/ early spring. Often builder's landscapes aren't the best thing to go by since they use the cheapest material and don't worry about the long term so often what they plant quickly takes over. You could also put in a perennial bed along the front. If it is heavily mulched with NO landscape fabric it won't require much care and would add some color. You could "ground" the perennial bed with taller shrubs at the corners of the house, maybe a small slow growing one on either side of the walk. My yard is almost entirely flower/ shrub beds with just walkways of grass and they really require less work overall than weekly mowing. Feel free to message me if you want more suggestions or have questions.0
-
Joyce~ DSIL has infected salivary glands and stones (big ones in there)so she will be sprung from the hospital tomorrow and then go back to the lake and get her car, then come down home here to Portland, then onto Yale-New Haven which is one of the best hospitals in the country..
off to see DFIL and then home to work on the house0 -
simquilts2 wrote: »Oh, I also just found your thread and really like the monthly goals and the support of those who are posting. I am new to the boards, not real sure how this works, but hope to join in and be a part of this.
Welcome.....keep coming back and reading and join in the conversation....bookmark this thread by clicking on the star at the top of the page (it will turn yellow), then when you come to the "Community" tab, click on the gray star next to the bell and you'll find the link to this thread and it will take you back to where you left off reading.
This has been a one day at a time adventure for me. I have created a morning routine that connects me with the important goals of my day so I am anchored and ready to proceed. I have developed other routines that save me from the wasted energy of indecision. Barbie from beautiful NW Washington
0 -
Miriam, I have 2 son with mental health issues, so we have something in common.
Mary in MN-have fun in Vegas. You know what they say, "whatever happens in Vegas...." lol We'll try to get together when you get back. I don't know anyone at all in MN, so some friends would be nice.
I logged all of my food yesterday and drank all of my water. No real exercise to speak of, but I am down 1 lb today. I'll take it!
My story-We have 2 bio kids. Then we adopted 2 more-they were 2 & 3 yr old boys who were victims of severe neglect and trauma as infants/toddlers and also had prenatal exposure to drugs & alcohol. We were told that when they came to live in our home, they'd be just fine. Well, they weren't.
The older of the two-Chip has bipolar disorder and he was having 3 hour rages monthly. We got him stable at age 8 and he did fine until he turned 18 and went off his meds. He's been manic since.
Our youngest boy is Daniel. When he turned 10 yrs old, his brain disorders manifested in violence and aggression and he was hospitalized 11 times in 2 years for danger to self and others. It was very scary! After the last one, child welfare (DCFS) told us that if we picked him up from the psych hospital they'd charge us with "child endangerment" for failure to protect our other kids. If we left him there, they'd charge us with "neglect." It was a Catch 22. Five therapists recommended residential care, but there seemed to be no way to fund the cost of $150,000 per year. Insurance doesn't cover it.
After many long meetings with multiple state agencies, we still had no solutions. We decided to err on the side of safety for our other kids and "staged an abandonment" at the hospital, allowing DCFS to take custody. We were charged with and indicated for neglect. We fought in juvenile court to get the neglect finding amended to "no-fault dependency" and fought in administrative law court to get our names expunged from the child abuser list. But we were still stuck with this case in juvenile court for 3 1/2 years. It was miserable-they were doing home safety inspections monthly, and over 50 meetings a year over threats of terminating our parental rights. All because we had a mentally sick child-who was sick when they gave him to us. It seemed so unjust, so ethically and morally wrong, but the state people kept telling us-"this is how we do it-get over it!" But I just couldn't. I loved my son and I wanted him back.
So, I started researching how things work in other states and found that Medicaid was the general funder for theses cases. Most kids with domestic adoptions get Medicaid as part the the adoption and mine did. I was repeatedly told that his care was not covered under IL. So, I studied the law and from what I learned-his treatment WAS covered all along. I took the law to the Medicaid agency and challenged it, asking them to show me WHERE in the law it was NOT covered-they gave me the politically correct version of "yeah, we know, sucks to be you."
So, we had no choice but to challenge it legally and sued 2 state agencies in a landmark federal case for the state violating federal Medicaid law. They settled up fast! We got our son back. I wrote about the ordeal in my book, "Second Time Foster Child" and my book and my name is well known throughout the state.
9 more families filed similar suits. Theirs became a class action suit still pending.
Last year, I helped draft and pass the Custody Relinquishment Prevention Act (Public Act 98-0808) to stop the state from doing this. I have won a number of awards for mental health advocacy. My congressional award is called "Angels in Adoption."
Yes, it's quite a story. I can't believe it's my life. So, the next book is fiction. I want to start a series of stories about women raising children of trauma based upon truth (which is stranger than fiction) with healthy doses of romance and humor. We call ourselves the "trauma mamas" so I have trademarks on that term and will base the series on it.
Enough about me, I am thankful to have a private accountability place. I am more in the public eye than I ever wanted to be.
Oh-and because I know you will ask-Daniel is now 20 years old. He lived in 3 different residential placements over 5 years. Spent some time in juvi and then adult jail at 17. Then we had him moved to an adult transitional living program where he is actually doing well. Aggression free for 3 years now. Has a nice GF and they are expecting a baby. He works part time at an animal shelter and lives on his own. He still has a team of staff working with him which helps a lot. Some said he was a "throw away kid" that he'd never be better. We are glad we stuck it through with him.
Toni in MN0 -
Wow Toni, we do have a lot in common but my kids were my biological kids. Only one of three boys had severe problems. He had been born with club feet and the corrections made him a miserable baby. So my former husband singled him out for the majority of his abuse, although the other two got some. So he developed PTSD, rage attacks, as well as the family bipolar disorder. And ended up dealing with DHS and the courts to try to get him help. In Iowa at the time, to get a kid declared a child in need of assistance so that the state would pay for residential care, I had to ask his therapist to accuse me of abuse, which was unfounded but that was what was needed to get him in to the "system". Once he was a child in need of assistance (china kid) I did not have custody of him! So the stupid DHS social worker was making all the decisions about where he went. And she was totally clueless about his illnesses. She thought he was oppositional (common with Bipolar) because I was too controlling, which made everyone who knows me laugh! I had three rules- cannot harm your brothers, cannot harm the animals, if you tear up things, do it in your room (he punched holes in the walls). Anyway, this stupid DHS worker tried to send him back to his dad who had caused his PTSD by his abuse of the child! We finally got him in to residential treatment, then independent living where he tried to fit in with the other (criminal) kids and ended up committing crimes with them so he ended up in the juvie system. Then back to independent living when he turned 18. He did learn to control his rages, but partly by just isolating himself. He had a social phobia in the first place, so this just made it horrible for him. And yes, he refuses meds. Oh, and he has OCD too. And ADHD. (I have both bipolar disorder and ADHD as well). And all this was going on when I was the "consumer" advocate for the company that managed Iowa's Medicaid mental health benefits! Needless to say, after I talked about this all over the state, being very high profile in the mental health system, parents no longer lose custody of their child when their child is declared a china kid.
What many people don't realize going in to adoptions is that the parents most likely to end up losing or giving up custody of their kids are the people that do impulsive things and get in to trouble. So there is more than likely going to be a family history of genetic illnesses like ADHD, bipolar disorder, or antisocial personality disorder as well as a propensity to addiction! So you are more than likely going to run in to some sort of problem sooner or later. That said, I am in the process of adopting my two great nieces (my sister's grand-daughters) whose father has the family bipolar disorder, is a severe alcoholic and a severe sociopath (no conscience) and has also used meth and other street drugs. The mom is a meth addict and who knows what else. So I may end up having troubles with these girls too. Girls are more likely to not be aggressive and to be willing to take medication so hopefully I can handle it.
Oh, and I have a masters in Rehabilitation Counseling! Got a bachelors from the U of Chicago in anthropology and behavioral sciences. So I am no dummy about managing behaviors! And still had all this trouble!0 -
dreamwriter wrote: »Back from holidays. I am apparently not very good at balancing my life. I didn't do any kind of a job of keeping track of my food and I certainly didn't post on here. Just starting reading a few pages back so know that I am way behind on news.
I went camping/fishing with DH at beginning of vacation. The fishing was the pits but the bird watching was great. Geese, ducks, loons, bald eagles, osprey, swan and one big old pelican. Saw Mama Bear and her twins. Heard there was a cougar in the area but never spotted it which was okay with me. Nice sunny days out on the boat. DD brought DGC and their friends up for one day. We fished, roasted wieners, played at the playground and played baseball. A perfect day.
Unpacked the trailer, washed clothes , packed and gone the next morning. We drove to Keremeous on that day. It was a quaint little stop. Ate at a Thai restaurant but DH was left hungering so we went to a different restaurant where he could get a drink and fries. Lol We explored the back roads enjoying vicariously how the other half lives on their acreages. Some beautiful but massive houses.
We were greeted enthusiastically in Richmond. It always feels a little odd when the first night we are there my DDIL invites her friends for supper with us. Don't get me wrong they are nice people but the first night we just want to catch up with DS, DDIL and the DGSs. C'est la vie.
We went to Hicks lake and had an enjoyable day. First trip ever that I forgot my swim suit. I did wade in the water. It was nice that our DGD , her girlfriend and our DGGS were able to join us. Nice day except for the drive. Next day we went to an adventure playground, appointment with accountant and a ride on the Sea Wall around Stanley park. I rented a trike but that museum piece weighed a ton and was hard to control, nothing at all like my Sparkle Orange. I did make the ride though.
DGS came back with us. We stopped in Okanogan to see some friends and family. I was so proud of the way he introduced himself and put up with all our visiting. We are home now and he is anxious to be with his cousin. Plans call for long boarding, cycling, swimming , jamming together and movie watching. Long talks into the evening. I think Gramps wants to take them camping and fishing also.
Toodle Ooh for now.
- Sharon in Lethbridge (hoping to get back on track)
Sharon - I missed you!! Sounds like you had a great vacation. Camping is always fun, so relaxing, even if you spend all that time getting it organized and then cleaning it up when you get home. We have relatives in Keremeous. Where they live it is such peaceful place, away from the traffic and just close enough to little orchards.
Lillian in West Central Saskatchewan0 -
Miriam and Toni ~ Kudos to both of you for the hard work you have done in order to get your children the care they need.
Sharon ~ Sounds like you had a lovely holiday with many fun outdoor activities.
I find that I dislike long drives the older I get. Even going to the beach (Daytona hopefully) seems so far away (a 7/8 hour drive).
Joyce ~ Your house will look so much better when you remove the shrubs out front. We built our first house in 1975 and now rent it out. We had all the overgrown shrubs removed in the front a few years ago and it gave it a fresh look. Low growing shrubs across the porch would be a good way to go. Do low growing azaleas do well in your area? They would look very pretty in the spring and stay green all year long.
Lenora ~ We never get calls from the NRA. My DH loves his guns and would totally support them.
Carol - GA0 -
fanncy0626 wrote: »Hello everyone! I mowed my lawn for the first time today it was over 23,000 steps and a lot of woman handling in the very neglected yard. I also did my strong lift 5x5 routine. So I logged over 1,100 calories. Our old house has been reroofed and should be reinspected tomorrow. If all goes well we may close on both houses next week. Hopefully before Friday. Friday we will be flying to LasVegas on a trip that my DH won through his hard work at selling this was a nation wide company promotion so he did really well. We don't gamble so am going for sun and fun.
Have a great day everyone!
Mary from Minnesota
hold on to the handrails when you are trotting down those steps!!0 -
looks like a purdy house behind the bushes.
hey peeps -
gonna go workout for 1/2hr or so then taking the kids to the ocean to our "SUMMER CABIN" for the day... couldn't sleep at all in the beginning of the night, had foot cramps that wouldn't go away!! if you've never had them, you don't want them. later peeps0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.2K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.2K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.9K Food and Nutrition
- 47.4K Recipes
- 232.5K Fitness and Exercise
- 421 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.7K MyFitnessPal Information
- 23 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions