It's official, I've lost my mind!
Replies
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Thanks everyone
I know I am crazy with this and way to hard on myself
I am taking a rest today (even though I logged exercise, I won't miss this mornings class, it's my favorite)
I am going to relax and eat whatever I want
And as much as I want
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Very strange post to say the least!!!!0
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cushman5279 wrote: »Thanks everyone
I know I am crazy with this and way to hard on myself
I am taking a rest today (even though I logged exercise, I won't miss this mornings class, it's my favorite)
I am going to relax and eat whatever I want
And as much as I want
Yesss!
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cushman5279 wrote: »healthygreek wrote: »I find this topic either a result of disordered/distorted thinking or just attention seeking rediculousness.
If you feel that way why'd you bother to read it and reply? Really? Don't be an energy sucker. My post here obviously is of no consequence to you so... go away
And besides, this is a support place right? Yeah, even I need support sometimes. Jeez... lighten up.
It does sound to me like you might have some body dis-morphia...have you ever seen a therapist about these feelings?0 -
That's not a Great Leap Forward but it is a baby step to a potentially healthier life
A rest day but I've done my exercise class?
I hope you do eat a decent amount of food on an ongoing basis and stop over exercising0 -
That's not a Great Leap Forward but it is a baby step to a potentially healthier life
A rest day but I've done my exercise class?
I hope you do eat a decent amount of food on an ongoing basis and stop over exercising
Yes but when you consider my average daily burn rate, one class is more like a warm up (rest day) for me. Baby steps right? I ate good yesterday.0 -
cushman5279 wrote: »That's not a Great Leap Forward but it is a baby step to a potentially healthier life
A rest day but I've done my exercise class?
I hope you do eat a decent amount of food on an ongoing basis and stop over exercising
Yes but when you consider my average daily burn rate, one class is more like a warm up (rest day) for me. Baby steps right? I ate good yesterday.
Then why didn't you log it?
Or did you? Do you actually think this is appropriate intake for that exercise? Even if you half your burn it's too few calories
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cushman5279 wrote: »
Yes but when you consider my average daily burn rate, one class is more like a warm up (rest day) for me. Baby steps right? I ate good yesterday.
You burned over 1,000 calories according to your diary (and that is a rest day?), and you only ate 1450. You need to eat more if you are going to work out that much.0 -
cushman5279 wrote: »healthygreek wrote: »I find this topic either a result of disordered/distorted thinking or just attention seeking rediculousness.
If you feel that way why'd you bother to read it and reply? Really? Don't be an energy sucker. My post here obviously is of no consequence to you so... go away
And besides, this is a support place right? Yeah, even I need support sometimes. Jeez... lighten up.
It does sound to me like you might have some body dis-morphia...have you ever seen a therapist about these feelings?
I agree. Therapy is a good idea.0 -
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I certainly can't go from 1100 calories a day to 2000 so 1400 in a day for me is good. Everyone has some form of body dis-morphia and/or a disordered relationship with food to one extent to another. Otherwise, why would everyone work so hard on losing, gaining, maintaining, etc. Personally I think it's OK to live on the edge... not so much that I develop anorexia, not so much that I put the weight back on, but just walking the line right in the middle. Being careful and strict with exercise and foods and yet letting loose every now and then. A friend of mine went on a "diet" (first mistake), she lost all kinds of weight, was exercising four days a week and was thrilled with her results. She decided she was done... where she wanted to be and went right back to what she was doing before. It's a couple of years later and she's put almost all of her weight back on. She is still happy but now she's getting into making fun of herself and she's talking about getting back into a diet/fitness plan. Up and down is worse than just maintenance. Aside from the occassional "fat" day which I am sure all women have, I am healthy and happy with my body and my results, I'll never stop pushing forward. Yes, fit is priority over thin but after being the fat kid for so many years there's nothing wrong with being the thin woman now. Aside from my diary entries, I eat according to my physical activities. On light days I keep it light, on heavy days I eat more nutrient dense foods even though they may be low in calories. I eat to perform and I eat when I'm hungry and I don't when I'm not. I began this post as a call for support and while I really and truly appreciate the concern this has been going on for years. If you looked at my diary from two years ago and every month following that, you'd see that it's been a journey of trial and error and changing things. Everything is a process. I am happy, but will never be satisfied. Thanks for all of your concern I am not having a fat day today. Today I feel wonderful and I'm looking forward to a week of healthy eating and awesome exercise.
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cushman5279 wrote: »on heavy days I eat more nutrient dense foods even though they may be low in calories. I eat to perform and I eat when I'm hungry and I don't when I'm not.
Part of the nutrients that you need on heavy days are calories. Calories what is powering your body, vitamins and minerals are good but they are not fuel. The numbers have to add up, if you exercise a lot and don't eat enough your body is going to consume itself to keep your basic functions going. I think that most people are concerned because what you have logged isn't living on the edge, it is living way over the edge.
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soapsandropes wrote: »cushman5279 wrote: »on heavy days I eat more nutrient dense foods even though they may be low in calories. I eat to perform and I eat when I'm hungry and I don't when I'm not.
Part of the nutrients that you need on heavy days are calories. Calories what is powering your body, vitamins and minerals are good but they are not fuel. The numbers have to add up, if you exercise a lot and don't eat enough your body is going to consume itself to keep your basic functions going. I think that most people are concerned because what you have logged isn't living on the edge, it is living way over the edge.
yes this.0 -
It going on for years is more worrying
Not less
Sighs0 -
The only thing I have left to say is thank goodness MFP overestimates burns for most people....you are in trouble....regardless...
And I don't have body dysmorphia in any way shape or form actually...I am well aware of what I need to eat to maintain my weight, what I look like, what size I wear and how much food I need to do the exercise I do....I do live in reality.0 -
cushman5279 wrote: »I certainly can't go from 1100 calories a day to 2000 so 1400 in a day for me is good. Everyone has some form of body dis-morphia and/or a disordered relationship with food to one extent to another. Otherwise, why would everyone work so hard on losing, gaining, maintaining, etc. Personally I think it's OK to live on the edge... not so much that I develop anorexia, not so much that I put the weight back on, but just walking the line right in the middle. Being careful and strict with exercise and foods and yet letting loose every now and then. A friend of mine went on a "diet" (first mistake), she lost all kinds of weight, was exercising four days a week and was thrilled with her results. She decided she was done... where she wanted to be and went right back to what she was doing before. It's a couple of years later and she's put almost all of her weight back on. She is still happy but now she's getting into making fun of herself and she's talking about getting back into a diet/fitness plan. Up and down is worse than just maintenance. Aside from the occassional "fat" day which I am sure all women have, I am healthy and happy with my body and my results, I'll never stop pushing forward. Yes, fit is priority over thin but after being the fat kid for so many years there's nothing wrong with being the thin woman now. Aside from my diary entries, I eat according to my physical activities. On light days I keep it light, on heavy days I eat more nutrient dense foods even though they may be low in calories. I eat to perform and I eat when I'm hungry and I don't when I'm not. I began this post as a call for support and while I really and truly appreciate the concern this has been going on for years. If you looked at my diary from two years ago and every month following that, you'd see that it's been a journey of trial and error and changing things. Everything is a process. I am happy, but will never be satisfied. Thanks for all of your concern I am not having a fat day today. Today I feel wonderful and I'm looking forward to a week of healthy eating and awesome exercise.
Bold 1 - No, not everyone has disordered relationship with food, and not everyone has body dysmorphia.
Bold 2 - You most certainly are not eating properly for your physcial activites. Hell you're not even eating the bare minimum for a woman a majority of the time.
Bold 3 - Please go seek professional help, this one sentence speaks volumes.0 -
^^^ agree with everything0
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Oh, cushman. Everything in your long post is so wrong, and so sad. Having suffered from body dysmorphia myself before, I can tell you from reading your posts that you are deep in it and need some professional help to get out of it. You are, from looking over your food logs and exercise logs, anorexic. You claim you are not 'having a fat day today', but honestly, from the way you work out even on your 'rest days', and eat fewer calories than you burn most of the time, I believe that for you, every day is a fat day. You are not changing things as you claim. Eating healthy is eating enough food to sustain your body, and exercising at a level necessary for fitness, not at so high a level as to burn all the calories you might be eating.
What you are seeing in the mirror is not your true self, love. I promise you that it is not. Please get some help before it is too late.0 -
You need to get some help. You may think you're walking the line in the middle but it's clear that you're not. Please seek out a therapist who specializes in eating disorders. Getting help doesn't mean you'll gain weight but it might save your life. There is a mortality rate associated with eating disorders.0
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OP take particular note of the title of your thread...0
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I don't know how my original post ended up going off in this direction but wow!
Thank you all so much for your kind and caring words of concern and thank you for your advice. As the "strong" person in my circle of friends/family it isn't very often that I am asked "How I'm doing"
I really do hear what you are all saying. But there's a difference between listening/reading something and really hearing it.
A few things to note... not every day is a fat day. I am far from anorexic. I don't always have huge burns/deficits.. sometimes it is the other way around. But yeah, I do admit that I am fairly obsessed with everything exercise and nutrition. Also, I'm working on bumping my calories, but slowly so... props to me for adding a few. lol!
I don't really know what to say about all of this. A couple of years ago when I was super strict with myself a few people were saying this to me as well, I changed it up. Every 30 days I set a new physical and/or nutritional challenge for myself, hit my goal, and change it again.0 -
http://www.eatingdisordersonline.com/explain/anorathletica.phpSymptoms of anorexia may be denied
Symptoms of Anorexia Athletica may include over-exercising, obsession with calories, fat, and weight, especially as compared to elite athletes, self-worth being determined by physical performance, and a lack of pleasure from exercising. Advanced cases of Anorexia Athletica may result in physical, psychological, and social consequences as sufferers deny that their excessive exercising patterns are a problem.
People with Anorexia Athletica may have anxiety and feel out of control in their life but that they can control their body and their weight. However, they will often feel guilty if they miss a workout, or don't exercise "enough," and therefore are out of control and at the mercy of this compulsory activity.
Please seek professional help because what you are doing to yourself is not healthy. End of story.0 -
July 13: Net 25 calories
July 12: Net 330 calories
July 11: Net -278
July 10: Net -441 (this looks to be a parially unlogged day)
July 9: Net -527
July 8: Net 44
This continues...0 -
People have a certain idea when you say that somebody is anorexia. Like starving your body.
But there are many kinds
Now i do agree that you need professional help
Because the EDNOS ( collection of eating disorders) knows many kinds of ED. And my personal opinion is that the OP seems to belong to the Orthorexia nervosa group.
I dont want to give any medical advice here, not my place to do so. But these kinda people take their diet and healthy eating a bit to far. ( simply explained)
So OP seek help, really nothing to be ashamed of. But denying will damage you more in the long term.0 -
TheOwlhouseDesigns wrote: »People have a certain idea when you say that somebody is anorexia. Like starving your body.
But there are many kinds
Now i do agree that you need professional help
Because the EDNOS ( collection of eating disorders) knows many kinds of ED. And my personal opinion is that the OP seems to belong to the Orthorexia nervosa group.
I dont want to give any medical advice here, not my place to do so. But these kinda people take their diet and healthy eating a bit to far. ( simply explained)
So OP seek help, really nothing to be ashamed of. But denying will damage you more in the long term.
Actually, I believe the crazy over exercising to compensate for what people think they eat (usually not a large amount of food) is a form of bulimia.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exercise_bulimia0 -
As much as you say you're getting it, I don't think you're getting it.cushman5279 wrote: »I don't know how my original post ended up going off in this direction but wow!
Thank you all so much for your kind and caring words of concern and thank you for your advice. As the "strong" person in my circle of friends/family it isn't very often that I am asked "How I'm doing"
I really do hear what you are all saying. But there's a difference between listening/reading something and really hearing it.
A few things to note... not every day is a fat day. I am far from anorexic. I don't always have huge burns/deficits.. sometimes it is the other way around. But yeah, I do admit that I am fairly obsessed with everything exercise and nutrition. Also, I'm working on bumping my calories, but slowly so... props to me for adding a few. lol!
I don't really know what to say about all of this. A couple of years ago when I was super strict with myself a few people were saying this to me as well, I changed it up. Every 30 days I set a new physical and/or nutritional challenge for myself, hit my goal, and change it again.
As said previously, you strongly need some professional help. And continuing on as "props to me for adding a few calories" BUT then in a week you're back down onto something else dangerously low since you change it every 30 days, is not good.
Also, why the change every 30 days? Do you think that's a good choice for sustainable eating/exercise goals? Can you see where that alone screams as a red flag?
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I am seeing days when you got 130 minutes of exercise, 96, 70, 140. Those are not a ridiculous amounts of exercise--that's just an active person.
Assuming you are a healthy person with a normal metabolism, you do need to be eating more though.0 -
Exactly this.PrizePopple wrote: »cushman5279 wrote: »I certainly can't go from 1100 calories a day to 2000 so 1400 in a day for me is good. Everyone has some form of body dis-morphia and/or a disordered relationship with food to one extent to another. Otherwise, why would everyone work so hard on losing, gaining, maintaining, etc. Personally I think it's OK to live on the edge... not so much that I develop anorexia, not so much that I put the weight back on, but just walking the line right in the middle. Being careful and strict with exercise and foods and yet letting loose every now and then. A friend of mine went on a "diet" (first mistake), she lost all kinds of weight, was exercising four days a week and was thrilled with her results. She decided she was done... where she wanted to be and went right back to what she was doing before. It's a couple of years later and she's put almost all of her weight back on. She is still happy but now she's getting into making fun of herself and she's talking about getting back into a diet/fitness plan. Up and down is worse than just maintenance. Aside from the occassional "fat" day which I am sure all women have, I am healthy and happy with my body and my results, I'll never stop pushing forward. Yes, fit is priority over thin but after being the fat kid for so many years there's nothing wrong with being the thin woman now. Aside from my diary entries, I eat according to my physical activities. On light days I keep it light, on heavy days I eat more nutrient dense foods even though they may be low in calories. I eat to perform and I eat when I'm hungry and I don't when I'm not. I began this post as a call for support and while I really and truly appreciate the concern this has been going on for years. If you looked at my diary from two years ago and every month following that, you'd see that it's been a journey of trial and error and changing things. Everything is a process. I am happy, but will never be satisfied. Thanks for all of your concern I am not having a fat day today. Today I feel wonderful and I'm looking forward to a week of healthy eating and awesome exercise.
Bold 1 - No, not everyone has disordered relationship with food, and not everyone has body dysmorphia.
Bold 2 - You most certainly are not eating properly for your physical activities. Hell you're not even eating the bare minimum for a woman a majority of the time.
Bold 3 - Please go seek professional help, this one sentence speaks volumes.
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You're right, nothing wrong with that.azulvioleta6 wrote: »I am seeing days when you got 130 minutes of exercise, 96, 70, 140. Those are not a ridiculous amounts of exercise--that's just an active person.
Assuming you are a healthy person with a normal metabolism, you do need to be eating more though.
This thinking is wrong.cushman5279 wrote: »Oh man... today is one of those days that no matter what I do I just feel like a big flabby cow! I hate days like this. Every little thing I put into my mouth makes me feel like I'm going to somehow gain 50 lbs as if by magic! Meanwhile... I worked out this morning - Ran between 5.5 - 8.0 for one hour, did strong lifts followed by some BodyRock core/booty work for 45 minutes. I've consumed 628 calories so far (all nutritious/healthy/clean) slightly over my sodium which is low anyway. I've burnt 1019 calories and am sitting with a deficit of -391. Yet I feel fat and like I need to get in another work out today.0 -
TheOwlhouseDesigns wrote: »People have a certain idea when you say that somebody is anorexia. Like starving your body.
But there are many kinds
Now i do agree that you need professional help
Because the EDNOS ( collection of eating disorders) knows many kinds of ED. And my personal opinion is that the OP seems to belong to the Orthorexia nervosa group.
I dont want to give any medical advice here, not my place to do so. But these kinda people take their diet and healthy eating a bit to far. ( simply explained)
So OP seek help, really nothing to be ashamed of. But denying will damage you more in the long term.
Actually, I believe the crazy over exercising to compensate for what people think they eat (usually not a large amount of food) is a form of bulimia.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exercise_bulimia
yes i was a bit doubting between those two
But like i said an expert have to talk to the OP
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