When you SHOULDN'T count calories

choppie70

I feel like I am having a conversation with my gram who has Alzheimers... feels like we are just going around in circles! Church food is a problem but I don't eat much so it is not a problem, just counting the calories is a problem... There has been some really great advice on this thread and it all is just being passed off with another excuse.

I tell my 8 year old daughter to "suck it up, Buttercup!" Until you really WANT it, it is not going to happen. Unless you move out of your comfort level your are not going to change.

WinoGelato

ftsolk wrote: »

You are right. Nobody is forcing me to eat, but it's pretty hard to resist eating when it's been 4 or 5 hours since my last meal, and it will be another 4 or 5 until my next. There's no opportunity to eat before; I barely make it to church on time from work with traffic as it is. By the time I get home, it's usually after 9 or 10pm. I suppose I could wait until 11 to eat dinner, but that always messes me up. I ended up eating dinner late last night due to unforeseen circumstances, and nothing satisfied my hunger. I went to bed with my stomach growling trying to resist the urge to eat just about anything I could get my hands on.

But, as I have said before, I barely eat anything at these weekly church potlucks. That's not the issue. It's dealing with the stress of counting calories at these events.

And good for you. Unfortunately, being on my feet for 6 to 10 hours a day most days often leaves me in so much pain that my left foot won't bear any weight. Just because you don't have that issue does not mean I don't. Age and lack of a knee has nothing to do with it; it's my own personal limitation.

If the gap between meals is too long then eat at the church event, or one of your shelf stable snacks you asked about in another thread.

I really don't understand why this is so hard. You are no busier than anyone else on this site or in the world who figure out how to feed themselves a calorie appropriate amount of food on a variable schedule.
Stop talking about it and just do it. It's Weds right? What's your meal plan today, I'm sure youve thought about it...

We have a phrase at work for when we need to stop talking and take action:
JFDI (Just F-Ing Do It!)

I think that applies here.

ASKyle

I think nothing will change until OP wants to take responsibility for her choices & make improvements.

anglyn1

ftsolk wrote: »

You are right. Nobody is forcing me to eat, but it's pretty hard to resist eating when it's been 4 or 5 hours since my last meal, and it will be another 4 or 5 until my next. There's no opportunity to eat before; I barely make it to church on time from work with traffic as it is. By the time I get home, it's usually after 9 or 10pm. I suppose I could wait until 11 to eat dinner, but that always messes me up. I ended up eating dinner late last night due to unforeseen circumstances, and nothing satisfied my hunger. I went to bed with my stomach growling trying to resist the urge to eat just about anything I could get my hands on.

But, as I have said before, I barely eat anything at these weekly church potlucks. That's not the issue. It's dealing with the stress of counting calories at these events.

And good for you. Unfortunately, being on my feet for 6 to 10 hours a day most days often leaves me in so much pain that my left foot won't bear any weight. Just because you don't have that issue does not mean I don't. Age and lack of a knee has nothing to do with it; it's my own personal limitation.

I have Celiac disease so I have many, many situations where I have to attend a dinner yet cannot eat what is served. On those days if time is tight I usually eat a gluten free protein bar on the drive over. Then when people ask why I'm not eating I say I'm not hungry but I am enjoying socializing with everyone. I do understand that being hungry is uncomfortable. Before I was diagnosed I would have eaten whatever just because I didn't want to be hungry....now that I know eating the wrong thing can make me very, very ill I've become okay with being hungry sometimes.

You don't actually have to exercise to lose weight. You just can't eat as much if you aren't. I have arthritis so when I'm in a flare I eat less and don't stress about not being able to exercise.

DDAstrid

tomatoey wrote: »

If you have reason to suspect counting may incline you to mental health problems, or exacerbate existing ones, I think it's ideal to talk to a pro with experience in this area.

That said, I wonder if simple portion control might be a way to go for you. You could try using visual estimates and continuing to put the emphasis on the kinds of small changes you've already made.

A quick and dirty way to look at meals might be:

1 portion of protein the size of your palm + 1/2 cup starch (or 1 piece bread) + 2 cups veg or 1 cup veg + 1 cup fruit

Times three for your meals, plus a couple of small snacks.

You could get bowls* at home sized to help you work those portions out, and just trust the bowls. You'll get better at guessing portions when you're out that way, too.

This is just regular food guide stuff, but it might be easier than weighing and counting etc.

For exercise, do 30-60 minutes of something every day. Try to get resistance training in 2 x a week. Work hard when you can, take it easy when your body needs it.

Sleep.
***********

*OR use measuring cups, unless they're triggering. Worked for me (my scales kept breaking). 1/2 cup or 1 cup portions are easy to work with for most things. I use them like serving spoons.

Depending on your food choices, that should run you anywhere from 1500 to 2200 or so (or I guess more if you get really super high cal stuff). But you wouldn't go far wrong with it. If you're consistently active and have more than 10 lbs to lose, it'll work.

That's probably one of the most sensible posts I've seen on here in a while. I occasionally practice "conscious eating" which is a variation on the same.

DDAstrid

tomatoey wrote: »

christinev297 wrote: »

To me, it sounds like you're creating problems before they even happen, IF they in fact will happen at all. Like worrying about anorexia etc. when you've never even been in this headspace.

I used to be against using a food scale and weighing every little thing I eat because I saw it as obsessive. But here I am weighing my food and counting my calories, and I quite enjoy it, and I am far from obsessive about it.

The bottom line is, I wanted to lose weight and you gotta do what you gotta do...

You can continue to use excuses why you cant do this or that, or you can put your head down and bum up and just do it!
This may sound harsh, but there are a million and one threads on here filled with excuses..

Having a history of anxiety and obsessive tendencies is a solid reason to not choose calorie counting as a method of monitoring food intake - they don't always go well together. And counting calories and weighing your food really isn't the only way to lose weight, despite what many on this site believe.

Again, another sensible post and you're correct, as someone who has battled anorexia for 13 years (post recovery) and as a Psychologist, I believe you're spot on.
However, I am not a nutritionist.

DDAstrid

Kalikel wrote: »

I don't rely on calorie counting. I know I won't do it for the rest of my life. I never even wanted to do it for the rest of my life.

I'm working on learning to eat. I plan to be able to eat a healthy, balanced diet without the aid of an app.

Frankly, I don't think anyone will count forever. They're going to get sick of weighing every little bite they take. At some point, they'll stop. Maybe I'm wrong and some really will be counting calories for life. I could be wrong.

It's a great crutch, but it's not something I will want to do forever.

I want to be able to eat like most healthy people do, just eat. No app. No weighing their bread before they add the peanut butter.

I've kept it in mind all along. I look at the portions. I look at my plate. I follow hunger cues. It's not enough. I'm not there yet.

Working on it.

*like*

Blueseraphchaos

Tahlia68 wrote: »

ftsolk wrote: »

So, because YOUR methods don't work for me, I'm just complaining and making excuses?

Fine, then I guess I am.

That's perfectly fine with me. I'm trying to figure out something that WILL work for me. If, for many reasons (some more complex than, even I know), I do not do well with counting calories, I'll figure out something that I will do well with.

Maybe that'll be packing lunch and cooking at home (and not just things like frozen buffalo wings and boxed macaroni and cheese- actually cooking fresh, whole ingredients).

Maybe it'll be strictly using certain plates, bowls, and lunch containers for meals to help keep portions in check: Leafy green salads on my large plate; other meals on smaller plates. Milk served only in my smaller 8 to 10 oz. cup; water, unsweetened tea, and seltzer in the larger ones.

Maybe sitting down for meals rather than grazing on on snacks while walking around will be one of the many keys to my success.

Maybe keeping track of when I eat my meals will help me pinpoint what to eat on what days. I may find patterns- like I eat later on Fridays, so I should eat a larger breakfast and lighter lunch, but on Thursdays, I'm more easily able to eat more evenly spaced meals, so I can keep my meal sizes about equal.

Perhaps, while sticking to South Beach, Paleo, or another plan like that isn't realistic for me at this point, I'll find that I do best eating primarily unprocessed, whole foods- so long as I don't stress over the occasional dessert or burger.

But it will be trial and error. It could be that all of this methods work for me. It could be that NONE do.

I just know that obsessing over calorie counts, numbers, and the like just does not work for me. I need to do something I can stick to long term.

OP I've read your original post and all the others since then. Your just going around in circles and making many excuses! If you don't want to count calories ect, then DONT! I honestly think you need to speak to a Health Professional about your many issue's. I'm not trying to be mean or judgmental but how hard is it to decide what you want/need to do with your food intake? Your also so negative about almost everything? Many people on here are giving you great advice and your not taking any of it. Don't understand why your even on MFP if you don't want to log your food. Good luck when you decide what you want to do!!

I have wondered about the complete lack of acknowledgement or even so much as "thanks for the suggestions" myself...even if you never want to use them, it's polite to acknowledge people's time taken out of their day to reply to you and try to help.

It has always struck me as incredibly rude to ask for advice just to ignore all of it, and you already know the answers anyway (not even being sarcastic here, you have demonstrated over and over that you are not stupid and typically already know what what you want.)

The fact that you know and still post in an attempt to get validation tells me there is a mental aspect to this....you don't need us to approve. Please just do what you think is best rather than ask for advice and then get petty and ignore everything or go to the other extreme.

Or maybe I'm just drunk. I just wish you'd get help for what is obviously not so much a weight problem. Sorry if that comes across as whatever.

Blueseraphchaos

ftsolk wrote: »

You are right. Nobody is forcing me to eat, but it's pretty hard to resist eating when it's been 4 or 5 hours since my last meal, and it will be another 4 or 5 until my next. There's no opportunity to eat before; I barely make it to church on time from work with traffic as it is. By the time I get home, it's usually after 9 or 10pm. I suppose I could wait until 11 to eat dinner, but that always messes me up. I ended up eating dinner late last night due to unforeseen circumstances, and nothing satisfied my hunger. I went to bed with my stomach growling trying to resist the urge to eat just about anything I could get my hands on.

But, as I have said before, I barely eat anything at these weekly church potlucks. That's not the issue. It's dealing with the stress of counting calories at these events.

And good for you. Unfortunately, being on my feet for 6 to 10 hours a day most days often leaves me in so much pain that my left foot won't bear any weight. Just because you don't have that issue does not mean I don't. Age and lack of a knee has nothing to do with it; it's my own personal limitation.

Just as an fyi, I'm 35 and have a torn acl and lcl and am on my feet with either no break or 30 minutes, 8 hrs a day at work. I actually do very little exercise because i simply can't if i ever want the knee to heal. I still don't understand the original post...was there a question? If you don't want to count calories, focus on nutritious, whole ingredient foods with a focus on keeping limits on calorie-dense foods (you already know what those are.) i think you are making this a lot harder than it has to be, and then you are hostile toward people who reply. No, not everyone is nice, but you only respond to the ones who are not straight-up telling you what you want to hear....

Very confused why this goes on.

Protranser

paperpudding

ftsolk wrote: »

You are right. Nobody is forcing me to eat, but it's pretty hard to resist eating when it's been 4 or 5 hours since my last meal, and it will be another 4 or 5 until my next. There's no opportunity to eat before; I barely make it to church on time from work with traffic as it is. By the time I get home, it's usually after 9 or 10pm. I suppose I could wait until 11 to eat dinner, but that always messes me up. I ended up eating dinner late last night due to unforeseen circumstances, and nothing satisfied my hunger. I went to bed with my stomach growling trying to resist the urge to eat just about anything I could get my hands on.

But, as I have said before, I barely eat anything at these weekly church potlucks. That's not the issue. It's dealing with the stress of counting calories at these events.

And good for you. Unfortunately, being on my feet for 6 to 10 hours a day most days often leaves me in so much pain that my left foot won't bear any weight. Just because you don't have that issue does not mean I don't. Age and lack of a knee has nothing to do with it; it's my own personal limitation.

Reality - if you are going to lose weight you have to find a way to work a calorie deficit intake into the variations of your real life.
Just like everybody else does.

If you can't/ won't excercise, that isnt stopping you from doing this - your intake just has to be adjusted accordingly.
Just like everyone else's does.

You seem to want validation that there are insurmountable barriers for you and you are a special snowflake that it cannot work for.

Reality - there are not and you are not.

kshama2001

ftsolk wrote: »

...I read a book recently: "Mindless Eating" by Brian Wansink. One rule he suggests people adopt is the 1/2 plate rule: you can eat whatever you want, but half your plate must be filled with fruits or vegetables. Even if I only adopt this when eating at home or work, that still accounts for roughly 16 to 18 of the 21 meals I eat a week, and I may be able to adopt it in many social eating situations as well.

I'm reading "Mindless Eating" by Brian Wansink now, thought of this thread, and was going to recommend it to you, but I see you already know about it

It has many many great tips for people who want to eat less but not count calories. How are they working out for you? Any other tips that you are using?

My cousin, a potter, made mom dinner plates which happen to be smaller than the typical American dinner plate so we unknowingly use the smaller plate strategy there. I also unknowingly used to do this at work by packing food in a two cup Pyrex container rather than using a larger one. I work from home now and generally use a shallow bowl rather than a larger dinner plate.

Use Contrasting Colours And Smaller Plates To Lose Weight, Study Finds

...Authors Koert van Ittersum (Georgia Institute of Technology) and Brian Wansink (Cornell University) wrote: “The bigger your dinnerware, the bigger your portion. If you use larger plates you could end up serving nine per cent to 31 per cent more than you typically would.”

...The study reinforces the little-know Delboeuf illusion, where people believe the size of a circle is much smaller when surrounded by a large circle than a small one.

By that rationale, when serving a food portion onto a small plate, the serving size looks relatively larger than it actually is, leading people to pile less on.

The writers concluded: "In the midst of hard-wired perceptual biases, a straightforward action would be to simply eliminate large dinnerware – replace our larger bowls and plates with smaller ones or contrast ones.”

MelodyandBarbells

Protranser wrote: »

Yup!