True Confessions - Don't Judge
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Tonight my dude finally understood that he thinks we could have a future while I know we can't. I've been trying to tell him that that's the case from the get go, but he decided to believe "it's just the beginning, we'll see where it goes" and leaving the door open for something to possibly happen.
I confess that even though one could argue it was him letting himself get hurt after I clearly explained my stance, I still feel awful for hurting his feelings.
I also confess that I'm possibly more sad for him than for me. I've been really happy after being really sad for so long, and I know I'm just going to go back to being sad, and I really am having a hard time with accepting that that's how it'll be again.
But why can't you just see where it goes? If you're enjoying him and having fun why set parameters
Because he's too old and I'm not attracted to him. And I don't want to waste his time or lead him on because I know he's more serious about me than I am about him. He talked tonight about me meeting his kids. And we've been at this for just short of 3 weeks
You're doing the right thing... It's rarely a good idea to stay in a relationship when one person is decidedly more invested than the other, and yours comes with unique challenges down the road. The age gap is a big deal for your future if you want kids of your own. Finances can be tricky if he hasn't been managing his the way you would. It's harder to befriend other couples. If you're feeling embarrassed, there's going to be a lot of friction when it comes to introducing him to people. These are all things that, IMO, should be discussed/resolved before meeting the kids. (Admittedly, I view meeting the kids is a big step that cements you as Serious Girlfriend. Maybe it's not to him.) If he's looking for something serious and you're not feeling that, you would be leading him on if you stayed with him.
Don't go back to being sad! You've had some fun and gotten real-world confirmation that you're attractive. Go back out there, rock it, and find someone else to have fun with... maybe with a bit more potential to last.2 -
He's 43. The age thing is mostly about what other people will think, but the not really attracted thing is all me. The thing that I liked about him is that he treats me wonderfully, and I know that's hard to find in a guy my age. But at the same time, you're right, I do feel like I would just be waiting for something better to come along.Tonight my dude finally understood that he thinks we could have a future while I know we can't. I've been trying to tell him that that's the case from the get go, but he decided to believe "it's just the beginning, we'll see where it goes" and leaving the door open for something to possibly happen.
I confess that even though one could argue it was him letting himself get hurt after I clearly explained my stance, I still feel awful for hurting his feelings.
I also confess that I'm possibly more sad for him than for me. I've been really happy after being really sad for so long, and I know I'm just going to go back to being sad, and I really am having a hard time with accepting that that's how it'll be again.
But why can't you just see where it goes? If you're enjoying him and having fun why set parameters
Because he's too old and I'm not attracted to him. And I don't want to waste his time or lead him on because I know he's more serious about me than I am about him. He talked tonight about me meeting his kids. And we've been at this for just short of 3 weeks
What is 'too old'? Your opinion of how old of a person you should be dating or what you think other people will think? You said you are happy and haven't been in a long time so there is something there. Maybe worth exploring if you are truly happy because a young hotty may treat you like dirt. This guy has experience.
Don't stick around if you will always be looking for something better though
The attraction was mainly because he treated me really well, he was smart, he has blue eyes, and he's honest with me. There are just a few things he does that he isn't going to stop doing that bug me, and past his eyes, there's not really much physical attraction at all.Tonight my dude finally understood that he thinks we could have a future while I know we can't. I've been trying to tell him that that's the case from the get go, but he decided to believe "it's just the beginning, we'll see where it goes" and leaving the door open for something to possibly happen.
I confess that even though one could argue it was him letting himself get hurt after I clearly explained my stance, I still feel awful for hurting his feelings.
I also confess that I'm possibly more sad for him than for me. I've been really happy after being really sad for so long, and I know I'm just going to go back to being sad, and I really am having a hard time with accepting that that's how it'll be again.
But why can't you just see where it goes? If you're enjoying him and having fun why set parameters
Because he's too old and I'm not attracted to him. And I don't want to waste his time or lead him on because I know he's more serious about me than I am about him. He talked tonight about me meeting his kids. And we've been at this for just short of 3 weeks
What caused the attraction to disappear in 3 weeks? I mean, I assume you were attracted to him at the beginning.
Thank you. He knows meeting the kids is a big deal because his are autistic so he's hesitant to introduce anyone new into their lives if there's not going to be staying power.chocolate_owl wrote: »Tonight my dude finally understood that he thinks we could have a future while I know we can't. I've been trying to tell him that that's the case from the get go, but he decided to believe "it's just the beginning, we'll see where it goes" and leaving the door open for something to possibly happen.
I confess that even though one could argue it was him letting himself get hurt after I clearly explained my stance, I still feel awful for hurting his feelings.
I also confess that I'm possibly more sad for him than for me. I've been really happy after being really sad for so long, and I know I'm just going to go back to being sad, and I really am having a hard time with accepting that that's how it'll be again.
But why can't you just see where it goes? If you're enjoying him and having fun why set parameters
Because he's too old and I'm not attracted to him. And I don't want to waste his time or lead him on because I know he's more serious about me than I am about him. He talked tonight about me meeting his kids. And we've been at this for just short of 3 weeks
You're doing the right thing... It's rarely a good idea to stay in a relationship when one person is decidedly more invested than the other, and yours comes with unique challenges down the road. The age gap is a big deal for your future if you want kids of your own. Finances can be tricky if he hasn't been managing his the way you would. It's harder to befriend other couples. If you're feeling embarrassed, there's going to be a lot of friction when it comes to introducing him to people. These are all things that, IMO, should be discussed/resolved before meeting the kids. (Admittedly, I view meeting the kids is a big step that cements you as Serious Girlfriend. Maybe it's not to him.) If he's looking for something serious and you're not feeling that, you would be leading him on if you stayed with him.
Don't go back to being sad! You've had some fun and gotten real-world confirmation that you're attractive. Go back out there, rock it, and find someone else to have fun with... maybe with a bit more potential to last.
And I'll try to not be sad.
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You are doing the right thing. 100%. The right person will come along for you. You are being an adult by not meeting his kids and letting things go further than you want.3
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jjewell1981 wrote: »I confess I catfished myself.
Did you send yourself noodz?
Yes and I like what I saw.1 -
Tonight my dude finally understood that he thinks we could have a future while I know we can't. I've been trying to tell him that that's the case from the get go, but he decided to believe "it's just the beginning, we'll see where it goes" and leaving the door open for something to possibly happen.
I confess that even though one could argue it was him letting himself get hurt after I clearly explained my stance, I still feel awful for hurting his feelings.
I also confess that I'm possibly more sad for him than for me. I've been really happy after being really sad for so long, and I know I'm just going to go back to being sad, and I really am having a hard time with accepting that that's how it'll be again.
But why can't you just see where it goes? If you're enjoying him and having fun why set parameters
Because he's too old and I'm not attracted to him. And I don't want to waste his time or lead him on because I know he's more serious about me than I am about him. He talked tonight about me meeting his kids. And we've been at this for just short of 3 weeks
Why did you sleep with someone you're not attracted to for 3 weeks? I don't get it.
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@angelxsss Don't feel guilty for following your gut. You know what is right and what is best for you. The age difference would eventually would become an issue later on down the road. I know that sounds harsh, but it's true. (Been there done that.)
The right guy will come along when you least expect it.2 -
Tonight my dude finally understood that he thinks we could have a future while I know we can't. I've been trying to tell him that that's the case from the get go, but he decided to believe "it's just the beginning, we'll see where it goes" and leaving the door open for something to possibly happen.
I confess that even though one could argue it was him letting himself get hurt after I clearly explained my stance, I still feel awful for hurting his feelings.
I also confess that I'm possibly more sad for him than for me. I've been really happy after being really sad for so long, and I know I'm just going to go back to being sad, and I really am having a hard time with accepting that that's how it'll be again.
But why can't you just see where it goes? If you're enjoying him and having fun why set parameters
Because he's too old and I'm not attracted to him. And I don't want to waste his time or lead him on because I know he's more serious about me than I am about him. He talked tonight about me meeting his kids. And we've been at this for just short of 3 weeks
Why did you sleep with someone you're not attracted to for 3 weeks? I don't get it.
Because I was lonely and I've never gotten to be in a relationship and I was tired of waiting and I wanted to know what it felt like. I was unhappy (with more than just being lonely) and I needed to find some way to be happy.1 -
I confess having to talk about money makes my head hurt.0
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Tonight my dude finally understood that he thinks we could have a future while I know we can't. I've been trying to tell him that that's the case from the get go, but he decided to believe "it's just the beginning, we'll see where it goes" and leaving the door open for something to possibly happen.
I confess that even though one could argue it was him letting himself get hurt after I clearly explained my stance, I still feel awful for hurting his feelings.
I also confess that I'm possibly more sad for him than for me. I've been really happy after being really sad for so long, and I know I'm just going to go back to being sad, and I really am having a hard time with accepting that that's how it'll be again.
But why can't you just see where it goes? If you're enjoying him and having fun why set parameters
Because he's too old and I'm not attracted to him. And I don't want to waste his time or lead him on because I know he's more serious about me than I am about him. He talked tonight about me meeting his kids. And we've been at this for just short of 3 weeks
Why did you sleep with someone you're not attracted to for 3 weeks? I don't get it.
Because I was lonely and I've never gotten to be in a relationship and I was tired of waiting and I wanted to know what it felt like. I was unhappy (with more than just being lonely) and I needed to find some way to be happy.
As you have found, being with someone you don't want to be with isn't going to make you happy sweetie. Find things you enjoy doing and go do them. Stay busy. I get being lonely. I have been alone for 3.5 years after 15 years of marriage. It's just not in me to settle just to say I have someone. It's not fair to the other person and it won't make you happy.
It made me happy, but I'm just not going to hurt him just for my benefit.0 -
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LittleHearseDriver wrote: »
We were dealing with my mom's finances and getting my dad's Nan re removed from things. My mom has a stupid amount of money but it worried it's not enough0 -
I confess I'm so bored I'm dragging the boy skating0
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I'm on page 5 of my book. I keep re-writing what I have. I don't want to sound like an idiot or bore people.0
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LittleHearseDriver wrote: »I'm on page 5 of my book. I keep re-writing what I have. I don't want to sound like an idiot or bore people.
Chapter 5 ?
Is that the chapter where the dead reanimate and bust out of their crypts and start eating people's faces off?
... or is that chapter 7 ?0 -
I confess I spilled krazy glue on my hand and practically glued my rings on0
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You'll have to wait until it comes out to see. I can't spoil all the good stuff!
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I confess i ate terribly at my friends birthday dinner, but eh, sometimes a Smokehouse BBQ burger is too good to pass up1
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I just told the dude and I confess I feel *kitten* awful
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How'd he take it?0
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He will be okay0
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jjewell1981 wrote: »How'd he take it?
Pretty badly. He mostly just got down on himself but guilted me for making him feel that way. So we were both sitting there crying.0 -
Sorry, he'll eventually get over it. 1 -
You shouldn't feel guilty. You are young and trying to figure out what you want in life. At his age he should have known better than to ask you to meet his kids. That is a lot of pressure to put on anyone.jjewell1981 wrote: »How'd he take it?
Pretty badly. He mostly just got down on himself but guilted me for making him feel that way. So we were both sitting there crying.
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Tired but staying awake to watch tennis. Should just go to bed.0
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I'm genuinely ashamed of myself for my height, the effect that it has on women - and the consequence of me deliberately avoiding having anything to do with them (like crossing the street to avoid them or shifting sideways with my back to them when I can't cross the street and have to pass them) because I'm scared of the hate that I'll receive from them for being 5'8".0
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I'm genuinely ashamed of myself for my height, the effect that it has on women - and the consequence of me deliberately avoiding having anything to do with them (like crossing the street to avoid them or shifting sideways with my back to them when I can't cross the street and have to pass them) because I'm scared of the hate that I'll receive from them for being 5'8".
I know you feel bad sweetie and nothing I say will make any difference ..so I'll offer hugs and kisses ..and you will have to look down cause Im 5'5"
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