Well this is awk..

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12357

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  • BeachGingerOnTheRocks
    BeachGingerOnTheRocks Posts: 3,927 Member
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    I sleep with this doll between myself and my wife. When she complains I tell her "Shhhh, I don't want Urkel to hear us fighting."

    tumblr_m1ygjfXBVQ1qb3mmfo1_500.jpg

    Your wife has a crush on PlayerHatinDogooder, too?
  • PantalaNagaPampa
    PantalaNagaPampa Posts: 1,031 Member
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    *slowly backing away.............reaches for doorknob and finds out it's been locked from the outside.*

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

    How did you get out of my basement!?
    Wait... theres a kitchen in the basement?
  • polarsjewel
    polarsjewel Posts: 1,726 Member
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    I like midget porn.

    Who doesn't??
  • ACepero79
    ACepero79 Posts: 711 Member
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    Please inbox me the size of your penis. K, thanks.

    Done.
  • FootballGamer58
    FootballGamer58 Posts: 1,310 Member
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    Please inbox me the size of your vagina. K, Thanks!
  • edge_dragoncaller
    edge_dragoncaller Posts: 826 Member
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    When gettin' it on with my wife, I'm wanna do it up and up, then roll her over and go down and down. I push to the left, then right, then left, then right, On her (B)ack, smack her (A), then her (B)ack again and Smack her (A). Only then do I select to start.

    When we do it like this...I feel like I'm in god mode.

    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRFIYcOi-3ArDbWobc2-pzIFWVyZ3X3BrbncVSvGU3HDnzwI5cfcfT_5xJ7Ew


    *edited for grammar..probably made it worse.
  • miss_jessiejane
    miss_jessiejane Posts: 2,819 Member
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    Please inbox me the size of your vagina. K, Thanks!

    Junk pics sent.
  • FootballGamer58
    FootballGamer58 Posts: 1,310 Member
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    Please inbox me the size of your vagina. K, Thanks!

    Junk pics sent.

    Nice size, great width. Depth is very impressive 10/10 wb
  • Ashkea76
    Ashkea76 Posts: 7,149 Member
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    I like to get naked, hide in bedroom cupboards with a squeezy bottle of mayo and lie in wait until a couple is getting it on. I then burst out of the cupboard screaming CAWWWW CAAAAAAWWW! like a seagull and spray my mayo all over them

    OMG laughed so hard at this....my roommate hates mayo....wonder if you've met her before?? :laugh:
  • iAMsmiling
    iAMsmiling Posts: 2,394 Member
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    The moment when you realize that the smokin' hot new girl at work actually resembles your 5th grade teacher...the nun.
  • PantalaNagaPampa
    PantalaNagaPampa Posts: 1,031 Member
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    So, I'm kneeling there with this crucifix *kitten* in my bum, the crucifx handle breakds off, leaving the *kitten* inserted, I'm just staring at the crucifix in my hand, my wife walks in, says how moving it is to see me on my knees parying, but why am I naked... and that was only the third most awkward 10 minute conversation of my life.
  • ruth3698
    ruth3698 Posts: 305 Member
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    I like midget porn.

    I like midget tranny porn.

    hmm I can see why....you get your lesbian,penis and midget fix all in one go! *googling it now*
  • JaneDough_
    JaneDough_ Posts: 301 Member
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    I went to my friends house at 12am for some all night halo. He was grounded so I had to sneak in. At 2am or so his dad starts coming downstairs so I run into the dining room and hide under a table. His dad then tells him its late and to go to bed. Then his dad decides to watch tv. So here I am stuck in the kitchen with his dad no more than 15 feet away from me so I couldn't leave. While Im texting my friend (who went upstairs) asking what to do I hear the telltale infamous music that only plays during a porno. His dad watched it for an hour or so, my friend not knowing what to do, and me under the dining room table. For those wondering, I could see the tv so I decided to watch too
  • MizTerry
    MizTerry Posts: 3,763 Member
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    I'm TNT
  • diodelcibo
    diodelcibo Posts: 2,564 Member
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    Please inbox me the size of your vagina. K, Thanks!

    Junk pics sent.

    Nice size, great width. Depth is very impressive 10/10 wb

    Thanks bro, looking quite thick, solid ,tight yourself.
  • Babeskeez
    Babeskeez Posts: 606 Member
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    So when girls run and their tampon falls out, does that mean they have a loose vagina?
  • FootballGamer58
    FootballGamer58 Posts: 1,310 Member
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    So when girls run and their tampon falls out, does that mean they have a loose vagina?

    no, when you have to shove three in at a time, thats when you know
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    I went to my friends house at 12am for some all night halo. He was grounded so I had to sneak in. At 2am or so his dad starts coming downstairs so I run into the dining room and hide under a table. His dad then tells him its late and to go to bed. Then his dad decides to watch tv. So here I am stuck in the kitchen with his dad no more than 15 feet away from me so I couldn't leave. While Im texting my friend (who went upstairs) asking what to do I hear the telltale infamous music that only plays during a porno. His dad watched it for an hour or so, my friend not knowing what to do, and me under the dining room table. For those wondering, I could see the tv so I decided to watch too

    Oh you dirty little bird! :laugh:
  • harvo
    harvo Posts: 4,676 Member
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    Please inbox me the size of your vagina. K, Thanks!

    Junk pics sent.

    Nice size, great width. Depth is very impressive 10/10 wb

    Well played
  • SDkitty
    SDkitty Posts: 446 Member
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    That awkward moment when you accidentally elbow the woman standing waaaay too close to you in the check out line in the boob.

    BOOYAH!

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