WOMEN AGES 50 + FOR SEPTEMBER 2015

Annr

mollywhippet wrote: »

Oh, boy, do we have a problem! I need some detective help on this one from anyone with experience with pre-teen girls.

This morning I arrived at the apartment building to pick up the kids as usual. My son gets the kids ready and brings them down to the lobby, so he and two of the kids were sitting at the table in the lobby waiting. I asked, where is Adrienne? (She's the one who has been lying, sneaking food, and failing in her classes.). He told me she had forgotten her homework and had to go back upstairs to get it. After several minutes she came down with one sheet of notebook paper, saying she had found it. As she rushed (in a very suspicious manner) to stuff it into her binder we could see that it was blank. My son asked her about it and she said, oh, it's only blank on one side - the homework is on the other side. She swore up and down that it really was her homework. We knew better, so I took the binder and opened it up. Sure enough, the only thing written on the paper was the word "boys". My grandson said, hey, that's the sign from my bedroom door! Then the granddaughter said she had suddenly remembered that her homework was already in her binder. I looked again, and it was. When asked why she went through all that pretense, she just shrugged. She was really mad at me for opening her binder. She didn't talk to me all the way to school. One side note in this saga, is that she was wearing shorts and a tshirt that were WAY to small for her, and she reeked of body odor.

I called my son after I dropped her off and he told me that there was some reason she wanted to be alone in the apartment this morning. They were waiting for her when they were ready to go downstairs and she suggested several times that they should go on and she would come down by herself. He said no, then once they were downstairs she came up with this phony reason that she needed to go back upstairs. He also said that she has been faking taking showers (thus the b.o.) and she got really defensive when he suggested that her clothes were not right for school, but by then she had run out of time to change.

So, I have to wonder what is going on. What reason did she have to want to be alone in the apartment? My son said he is going to look in her room today and see if he can find the reason. He's pretty much at wits end with her. I have to say though, that it's all freakily familiar, because he used to do stuff exactly like that when he was younger, and he went ballistic when I looked in his room. But he was a teenager then, with a very serious drug problem. She is only 11!

It goes to show that Karma really is a b#%ch!

I'm going to buy some deodorant spray and keep it in the van.

Any suggestions? She had been going to see a therapist but he said she was finished and didn't need to come back. And now my son has burned some bridges in the mental health department so he can't take her back anyway. She desperately needs some kind of help though. I'm going to see if I can find anything.

Well, sorry to ramble on. I hope you are all having a beautiful morning.

Sylvia

With my teenage son I buy those click open room deodorizer and hide it somewhere high up. My sons used to pretend to take a shower, (not use any shampoo, body wash or face cleanser) So now I check the containers and bought a pink container of body wash that has a scent of sweet pea flowers. Hey I want him to smell good, and the girls will be happy... I periodically check his hair after showers...(without him knowing I am checking, I ruffle his hair saying "good morning) I KNOW what clean hair feels like! Your son needs to be in her business more. I realize that raising sons is very different than raising daughters...but Dads have an exception rule. If that means standing outside the bathroom and verifying a shower. Its just a matter of getting her to accept the responsibility that comes with being a lady. It could be the fact that she is getting her periods now, and she is rebelling that she is changing.
Becca

pipcd34

.

janemartin02

happy Hump day
hugs jane

barbiecat

The reason most people fail instead of succeed is that they trade what they want the MOST for what they want at the MOMENT.

Laurel, welcome....you have started with a great plan. Having family support is a huge help

Deb from Texas...you've made an awesome start...keep coming back

Michele, the bone density med is Raloxifene

MIndy, weight loss is not linear.....it's not about eat right today, lose weight tomorrow---it's a lifetime marathon of eating healthy every day...that's why you can't get discouraged by the scale...just keep on keeping on

cathy, there is evidence that keeping track of food and exercise and other healthy behaviours results in weight loss.....keep it up and don't let the perfect be the enemy of the best

Lisa, you are so compassionate to do so much to help your employee

MNMargaret, perhaps the treatment place where you son is , will encourage him to get involved in AA when he gets out, then he build a network of friends who will go places other than bars.

Heather , DGD is darling in her new outfit

Terri, congrats on exercising even with pain.

Joyce, stay in the moment and don't waste energy thinking about what might happen later today or this week or this month

fiorim, it helped me to not think about all the weight I wanted to lose and just stay focused on today and what steps I would take today to approach my goal

maryann, congrats on staying away from the donut holes

I avoided going out to lunch with the line dance group today because with Jake gone, I couldn't leave the dogs that long.....some of you know that I really don't like going because I don't like restaurant food and the conversation is usually filled with medical crises or righteous indignation.


Both Jake and his tablet had a good night's sleep and this morning they were both functioning well.

terri_mom

MnMargaret – I used to truly believe that my son was me times 3, until I mentioned it at an Easter Brunch and my aunt almost fell off her chair from laughing so hard. Then she and my Dad started telling stories, and DS upped his game since that day. I didn’t mean to belittle anyone’s troubles, because trouble is trouble. I just wish now that I hadn’t caused so much when I was younger. When I was a kid I tried everything I saw on National Geographics TV, now my son has World’s Dumbest, and Ridiculousness, and a whole slew of “trouble” on youtube. Wow, how did he even make it to 15? What are we supposed to do, except pray and listen. And I went through the alcohol dependency treatment with my ex, so I agree that any chemical dependency is a struggle for everyone involved, not just the addict. I offer many more hugs ! ! !

Vicki – Congrats on 9 years sober. I am proud for you ! ! !

Heather - Hugs for your past, and congrats on being so resilient, and coming so far, and doing your best ! ! !

So far so good on my food, even though I only have access to the healthy food I bring to work. Now, to stay on track once I get home. My choices are limited by my prep, but I still don’t have to eat everything in sight just because it is allowed. Tonight my goal is to enjoy the quiet house, finish the blanket for my nephews baby girl coming next month, and getting caught-up on Criminal Minds (sweet dreams ahead for me, yay).

Hugs for Everyone ! ! !

Terri in Milwaukee

pipcd34

.

grandmallie

Well I have learned that just because u have a coupon or because it tastes good you buy it... I have stuffed myself with junk and sabotaged myself to the point of feeling blimpy and barely fitting in my pants..
I have to really get back in the game and make it a goal to lose weight and get healthy... I have clothes in my drawers that don't fit,and I will NOT go buy bigger ones...I am a sugar addict and have no willpower over it.
So this is something I can change and I will.
Keeping you all in my prayers...
Love ya all.

exermom

DJ - I find that I'm really tired today. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I was worried and trying not to show it, trying to make sure everything was done (like give Loki his med, etc) Vince is really tired so I don't think we're going to go to ceramics tonight, which is fine by me. I did make some shrimp gumbo for Jess. I'll freeze it and if she comes down this weekend, at least I'll have something to give her to take back. With all the discussion of obesity and how the hosp. advertised the chicken on whole wheat, I was very surprised that they didn't do that. Next time I'll know -- bring my own food.

Meg - welcome home!

I've been stress eating, too many sweets. Now I need to get back to my tofu/cocoa blend. That does help to take away the cravings for sweets.

terri - I'm so sorry you're in such pain but thank Pandora with you

Vicki - I didn't have time to get sleep before Vince came home. But after I post this, I'm going to lay down for a bit

Beth - yea for you not eating your stress! Great accomplishment

Maryann - good job passing up those donutholes

If I don't lay down soon, I swear I'm going to fall asleep at the computer

Michele in NC

mollywhippet

Omg!! I can't believe this! My son was doing some "research" online today and found out that the ex's most current boyfriend is a convicted child rapist from another state who has just disappeared because he's in violation of his parole. We asked the girls if he has ever, EVER touched them in any way that was inappropriate and at first they said no, but then the oldest said, well, he did tickle her till she peed her pants, and he did throw her into the pool and then come up underneath her and grab her legs. If that is what she is admitting to now, I have got to wonder if there is more that she can't tell us. I know there were a couple of times that he and his mom "babysat" while she was working a night shift.

I'm just sick about this! I think we need to get the police involved, but he wants to wait till we talk to the school psychologist. I'd bet money that his parole prohibited him from being around kids at all. That woman can sure pick 'em. Supposedly they broke up two weekends ago. She was supposed to get the kids that weekend but cancelled because she was breaking up with him. I'd love to know why they broke up and what she knew and when she knew it. Hubby wants to go back to court to make sure that she never has ûnsupervised visitation again. She just can't be trusted.

I just can't think straight! I can't stop crying. We should have checked him out immediately, before we ever left the kids with her. I hope it's not as bad as I fear. She's only eleven!

NO_Excuses_515

I’ve been doing some inner reflection the last couple of days. Many of you on this post have suffered health issues, abuse, issues with children, etc. You are all so strong! I read your stories and I can understand why you turned to food for comfort. The worst tragedy I have suffered in my life was the divorce of my parents when I was 19. And yet, I have let myself focus on every little bad thing in my life rather than all the good. I have used a busy schedule as an excuse to not exercise, and I satisfied my stress and self-pity with food. Well, today, I publicly declaring that my future is going to be filled with gratitude for all that is good in my life. Here is my new mantra.




I’ve been reading all your posts but haven’t taken notes. There is so much to respond to but I spent all my time reading and no more time to type. Please know that I’m thinking of you all, I admire all of your strength, and I’m thankful to have found this group.

Linda/IA

17761776

mollywhippet wrote: »

Oh, boy, do we have a problem! I need some detective help on this one from anyone with experience with pre-teen girls.

This morning I arrived at the apartment building to pick up the kids as usual. My son gets the kids ready and brings them down to the lobby, so he and two of the kids were sitting at the table in the lobby waiting. I asked, where is Adrienne? (She's the one who has been lying, sneaking food, and failing in her classes.). He told me she had forgotten her homework and had to go back upstairs to get it. After several minutes she came down with one sheet of notebook paper, saying she had found it. As she rushed (in a very suspicious manner) to stuff it into her binder we could see that it was blank. My son asked her about it and she said, oh, it's only blank on one side - the homework is on the other side. She swore up and down that it really was her homework. We knew better, so I took the binder and opened it up. Sure enough, the only thing written on the paper was the word "boys". My grandson said, hey, that's the sign from my bedroom door! Then the granddaughter said she had suddenly remembered that her homework was already in her binder. I looked again, and it was. When asked why she went through all that pretense, she just shrugged. She was really mad at me for opening her binder. She didn't talk to me all the way to school. One side note in this saga, is that she was wearing shorts and a tshirt that were WAY to small for her, and she reeked of body odor.

I called my son after I dropped her off and he told me that there was some reason she wanted to be alone in the apartment this morning. They were waiting for her when they were ready to go downstairs and she suggested several times that they should go on and she would come down by herself. He said no, then once they were downstairs she came up with this phony reason that she needed to go back upstairs. He also said that she has been faking taking showers (thus the b.o.) and she got really defensive when he suggested that her clothes were not right for school, but by then she had run out of time to change.

So, I have to wonder what is going on. What reason did she have to want to be alone in the apartment? My son said he is going to look in her room today and see if he can find the reason. He's pretty much at wits end with her. I have to say though, that it's all freakily familiar, because he used to do stuff exactly like that when he was younger, and he went ballistic when I looked in his room. But he was a teenager then, with a very serious drug problem. She is only 11!

It goes to show that Karma really is a b#%ch!

I'm going to buy some deodorant spray and keep it in the van.

Any suggestions? She had been going to see a therapist but he said she was finished and didn't need to come back. And now my son has burned some bridges in the mental health department so he can't take her back anyway. She desperately needs some kind of help though. I'm going to see if I can find anything.

Well, sorry to ramble on. I hope you are all having a beautiful morning.

Sylvia

My heart goes out to you!! My nephew started at 9, heavy into it at 11. He has been in n out of treatment many times. The good news he is 42 n living a normal life. Those early years he lived with us, almost ended our marriage. I don't understand the shower situation?? Good luck n keep her in therapy!! Gayle Minneapolis

margaretturk

Sylvia (((Hugs))). Breathe...

pipcd34

whippet _ omg!!! i would be calling the cops alright! oh wow!!, try to be calm and pay attention to what's going on in her life.

DeeDee2211

Sylvia. I'm crying right along with you. I am so sorry for what that sweet little girl is going through. I wish I was there to give you hug! You are a wonderful grandmother and I'm so glad she has you and hubby in her corner. What a disgusting dirtbag he is! I hope they find him and put him away for a very long time! If those children's mother is allowing someone like him around her children, she certainly needs supervised visits. Makes me sick to my stomach to think that piece of crap babysat those kids. sending you tons of good wishes and moral support and lots and lots of hugs!

Hugs,
DeeDee

janetr7476

Jack and I at Silver Dollar City

janetr7476

mikesmom1983

My prayers are with your grandaughter and you and your family.
Chris in MA

mollywhippet

Janet, one of my good friends is a potter at Silver Dollar City! Her name is Terri Balden. Did you happen to see her booth? I know it's a long shot.

I've spent the afternoon with Google, learning more and more about the scumbag boyfriend. He's been in a LOT of trouble, starting with an arrest for ringing doorbells and running away in 1997 when he was 17. At least that is the earliest one I could find, but there may be juvenile records before that. Lots of indecent exposure arrests. And he assaulted a man at a mall. He was arrested once after a year long investigation into someone who stood outside numerous women's windows and did sexual stuff. Indecent exposure stuff. He cut window screens more than once to gain access to women's bedrooms and was sentenced to 5 1/2 years at one point, after he assaulted a 14 year old girl in her bed. He's presently on the most wanted list in Allen County Kansas, but it doesn't say what for. Only says it's a district warrant.

There are more hits but I had to take the little guy to gymnastics. We are going to print out a file.

Sylvia

Sunnygirl_2015

Oh Silvia. If what you think has happened to your DGD is true that is horrible. Sending you all hugs and prayers.

Rosie ❤️

DamitJanit

Call me crazy but I love to see other people happy and succeeding .

Good Evening Ladies,

Michele, so glad you are bringing Vince home. I’m sure he is too.

Meg, glad you made it home safely. Get some rest.

Terri, all I can say is I’m glad you are back on the wagon. 

Joyce, sending you lots of strength and support for the days ahead. Just get some rest and you will be able to handle everything. (((Hugs)))

Fiorim, welcome. You know the drill so now it’s just up to you to get with the program. We will gladly supply support and lots of information, too. Please sign each post with the name you want to be called. You can do this and you already know you deserve it. Come often.

Mia, I hope you are having a great vacation.

Sylvia, I think your DH is right about not eating with you if you are making him eat too much! I mean, what in the world are you thinking that he could eat less? Lol I sure hope you can figure out what is going on with DGD. Have fun getting ready for the teachers’ invasion.

Maryann, a big congrats for not having any donut holes. You do know they don’t have any calories as they all went in the donuts? LOL

Barbie, glad to hear Jake and his tablet are functioning well.

Allison, you know you deserve to be the best that you can be. We are all with you and support you in not eating all that junk. We want you to wear the clothes that you already have. Just think of us when you start to eat something you know you don’t really want. (((Hugs)))

Michele, please get some rest. We don’t want you passing out from overdoing it.

Sylvia, I also hope it’s not as bad as you imagine. Sending the best thoughts your way!!!!

Linda, many of us have turned to food when we haven’t had anything terrible in our lives. But you are on the right track to look for the good. Good for you!!

Janetr, I love the picture but you might need to find a bigger chair. Have fun!!!

to any Newbies that I missed. Come often and join in the chat. This thing works!! Please sign your post with what you want to be called. It makes it easier for us to respond to you. Also a location is great, be it specific or general. We are happy to have you join us.

I slept well the first few hours last night but after I got up for a potty break I couldn’t get back to sleep. My shoulder was hurting so much that I finally got up and took a Vicodin. After that I slept a little but not well. I just can’t believe it has gotten so bad just recently.  I’m probably going to bed early tonight in hopes of getting a good night’s sleep. I hope you all have a good and restful night’s sleep and a great day tomorrow.

Words I live by:
Savor. I have to slow down and savor every bite.
and
Opportunity. Each day offers new opportunities for good health and happiness if we just look for them and choose them.
I Love you,
DJ
Myrtle Beach, SC