"You're really pretty, but...

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  • NadineSabbagh
    NadineSabbagh Posts: 142 Member
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    I just kinda am like...can't you be "pretty" "attractive" WHATEVER...and still be overweight, why does it have to be one or the other?

    Yes!! Why can't this be true?! Someone once said to me 'you're hot, for a fat girl'... Eh, no!! If he found me attractive then why feel the need to add 'for a fat girl'?! I can't believe some people actually have the audacity to come out with comments like that, or the 'you're pretty, but...'ones. Who are they to throw thinly veiled insults at someone else, disguised as 'compliments'? If you think someone is pretty, tell them... but you have no right to then negatively comment on their physique! People can be so frustrating sometimes haha..
  • therealslimme
    therealslimme Posts: 8 Member
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    It is impossible to control what other people will say to you, but you can choose whether to let it get you down or not. If you don't like yourself at your current size and someone comments on it it reinforces what you already believe deep down, which is uncomfortable. That is a sign that you could be taking responsibility for yourself and showing yourself more respect by changing bad/unhealthy habits. However, if you accept and respect yourself and believe you are doing the best you can, then you can refuse to let another person's disrespectful comment shake your belief in yourself. You can then simply see such comments for what they are, thoughtless and inconsiderate.
  • aaasky
    aaasky Posts: 68 Member
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    I'd simply smile and say, " well I can change being chubby, but you can't change being a douche!". But then again not everyone can handle things as tastefully as me :happy:

    That's always what I WISH I would have said, but never do in the moment.

    I can't believe people think it's appropriate to make that kind of comment about someone else's body! So rude.
  • determinedbutlazy
    determinedbutlazy Posts: 1,941 Member
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    Yeah, I used to sleep with a guy who told me "you're already hot, you got a gorgeous face, but if you work on your body you'll be like DAMN".

    At first I was offended and then I was like... "Well... it's TRUE."

    Then I went and worked my *kitten* off and found someone better ;)
  • lausa22
    lausa22 Posts: 467 Member
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    I think I've heard it a few times, I always say 'im gorgeous anyway' im not vain, but hey if someone brings my looks in to it, I think im a diva haha
  • traumaticthrash
    traumaticthrash Posts: 103
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    I cant really relate in terms of "losing weight" but i do share something in common. I used to be awfully skinny, infact too thin that i needed countless blood tests to check what was wrong with me..

    i used to get comments like "jesus christ, put on some meat will ya" - "you're too damn skinny"
    i always hated to hear those comments, but i took it as a motivation to eat well and train hard.

    although i am still slim, I am in a much healthier state now..

    what i am trying to say is, Don't feel down from what people say, take it as a motivation drive yourself. be honest to yourself and be your hardest critic.

    good luck :)
  • lose2be_free
    lose2be_free Posts: 6 Member
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    My ex used to say stuff like that... about having a pretty face & then counter it with losing weight. He lost ALOT of weight and got really fit AFTER our divorce... When he would see me he kept pointing out how ppl were saying he had lost so much weight.. maybe to much. My reply to him... 'you are STILL YOU'. He's not a nice person... CLINICALY DIAGNOSED with Narcissism, schizophrenia & bipolar. It was the worst ten year marriage EVER. My point is, don't take the comments to seriously. Big is beautiful.. just not healthy. If you are beautiful on the inside, people will be automatically drawn to you and not your size. Those that are drawn to physical beauty only... are NOT the kind of person you want to be around. No love loss there.
  • NoelleS85
    NoelleS85 Posts: 89
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    I hate it when people are like "you lost so much weight, you look great!!" I know they mean well but they didn't tell me I looked great before I lost the weight... F off.
  • traumaticthrash
    traumaticthrash Posts: 103
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    I hate it when people are like "you lost so much weight, you look great!!" I know they mean well but they didn't tell me I looked great before I lost the weight... F off.

    I'm not sure if i agree with you on that.. I think we all want to lose/gain weight , to train and keep a healthy lifestyle to give ourselves that bit of extra confidence in terms of looking better. and I believe everyone here live a healthy life style and to train hard to achieve that objective of feeling or looking better.

    besides... it is a massive compliment to me if someone said ive gained so much weight and i look great even if they didnt think so before. I would have known my hard work and dedication is being recognised... and recognition is a healthy drug to strive and achieve to be better..

    this is just my outlook, i try and be positive in most things i do :)

    anyway good luck to everyone in their goals!
  • anthemforagirl
    anthemforagirl Posts: 81
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    I have been told that often.
    "You would be pretty if you were not fat".

    It hurts... It still hurts to recall those memories.
  • SezxyStef
    SezxyStef Posts: 15,268 Member
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    My response would be something along the lines of ... "Well, I can change my weight when I decide to, but you really can't change the fact that you are an idiot" :)))

    Yah I agree with this for sure...
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
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    I was once told that if I "toned up a bit", I could do porn. I laughed.
  • tammys_changing
    tammys_changing Posts: 657
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    all you ladies look good beauty is in the eye of the beholder everyone has their likes and dislike that is why we are all different to each his own :)

    My thoughts exactly! Well said. Where one see fat, another sees beauty. I'm learning this myself.
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
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    I hate it when people are like "you lost so much weight, you look great!!" I know they mean well but they didn't tell me I looked great before I lost the weight... F off.

    I hate compliments. People giving compliments suck. What we all need is more haters.
  • downsizinghoss
    downsizinghoss Posts: 1,035 Member
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    all these people and their damned encouraging words! I better look better now.
  • gigglybeth
    gigglybeth Posts: 365 Member
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    Uh no, I can't say that's really been said to me. So now I learn that I am fat *and* ugly. No, no...go about your business. I'm fine. Really.

    *gentle sobs*
  • wannabpiper
    wannabpiper Posts: 402 Member
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    I once walked into the break room and everyone stopped talking. I smiled and looked at the one who looked the most guilty and said "Now this sure is embarrassing, eh, Brian?" He stuttered and said "I was just saying that you look so much nicer when you wear makeup." My mouth just fell open and I told him that sometimes he should put his filter in.
  • BrainyBurro
    BrainyBurro Posts: 6,129 Member
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    I hate it when people are like "you lost so much weight, you look great!!" I know they mean well but they didn't tell me I looked great before I lost the weight... F off.

    I hate compliments. People giving compliments suck. What we all need is more haters.

    i never get compliments. my life is great! #winning #hashtag #runningthislamejokeintotheground
  • tjthegreatone
    tjthegreatone Posts: 324
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    I was ugly and squidgy, now I'm ugly and fit :happy:
    But T-Rexes never had to be beautiful :drinker:
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
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    I realize this is an unpopular opinion, but I think most of you here are twisting what was meant to be a compliment (and possibly motivation) into an insult because of your own insecurities. "You are pretty now, but once you lose a few pounds you will be smokin'!!" is a good thing in my eyes. Much better than "You are pretty now, so do not bother losing weight because it will not improve you in the least." is a slap in the face.

    It is your unhappiness with yourself that is making you take it in a negative light, because you believe in your heart that it is true.

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