WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR OCTOBER 2015

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  • 17761776
    17761776 Posts: 1,098 Member
    Just received notice of our 50 reunion, 3 years off starting looking now for classmates. Some are meeting monthly, I can't go looking like this!!!! What the hell happen, how could I let myself get this way??
    Glad to hear knee surgery went well!!!
    Love the name crackers!!! Warm wishes to all!!! Gayle Minneapolis
  • terri_mom
    terri_mom Posts: 748 Member
    I am aware that most of my troubles are trivial, but I feel on the brink of tears over this one: When my parents and I first purchased this house about 7 years ago my Mom chose it, my parents put up 100% of the down payment, and the only place to truly see my name is on the checking account that "we" use to pay the mortgage. The plan was for DH and I to fix our credit scores and eventually buy the house (hopefully within just a few years), or buy 1/2 of it so our names would also be on the deed. DH refuses to do any real work, and he does not pressure DS to learn how to be the man of the house either. Well, my Mom passed 5 years ago, my sister (who was considered homeless sleeping in the family room) passed almost 2 years ago, and my Dad is tired of considering himself the solo homeowner with me and my family as his tenants. So today he announced that in 2 years (when DS finishes high school and hopefully heads off to college) he is selling the house and DH and I can be the first to purchase it. I tried to stay calm while discussing it with DH, but he just said "whatever". Our credit is fine now, but he (we) have next to nothing in savings to use as a down payment. We actually don't even have a single account in both our names. This is not how I pictured my life, and I should be getting ready to wrap up my adulthood, not worry about where I am going to live in a few years.

    Sorry for the rant. Thanks for "listening". I hope I can sweep this into the corner soon, but I suspect it will hover around in my brain for quite awhile.

    Terri in Milwaukee
  • 17761776
    17761776 Posts: 1,098 Member
    terri_mom wrote: »
    I am aware that most of my troubles are trivial, but I feel on the brink of tears over this one: When my parents and I first purchased this house about 7 years ago my Mom chose it, my parents put up 100% of the down payment, and the only place to truly see my name is on the checking account that "we" use to pay the mortgage. The plan was for DH and I to fix our credit scores and eventually buy the house (hopefully within just a few years), or buy 1/2 of it so our names would also be on the deed. DH refuses to do any real work, and he does not pressure DS to learn how to be the man of the house either. Well, my Mom passed 5 years ago, my sister (who was considered homeless sleeping in the family room) passed almost 2 years ago, and my Dad is tired of considering himself the solo homeowner with me and my family as his tenants. So today he announced that in 2 years (when DS finishes high school and hopefully heads off to college) he is selling the house and DH and I can be the first to purchase it. I tried to stay calm while discussing it with DH, but he just said "whatever". Our credit is fine now, but he (we) have next to nothing in savings to use as a down payment. We actually don't even have a single account in both our names. This is not how I pictured my life, and I should be getting ready to wrap up my adulthood, not worry about where I am going to live in a few years.

    Sorry for the rant. Thanks for "listening". I hope I can sweep this into the corner soon, but I suspect it will hover around in my brain for quite awhile.

    Terri in Milwaukee

    Will dad do contract for deed ??? Rent to sell?? Maybe a new location?? Gayle Minneapolis
  • mollywhippet
    mollywhippet Posts: 1,890 Member
    Terri, how frustrating! I'm sorry to hear you are so stressed. I hope you can take a walk, or a bath, or read a book, and just get your mind off of it for a while. Maybe the answer will come when you aren't thinking about the problem. Sometimes that happens with me.

    We did go out in the canoe this afternoon, and it was totally glorious! And the best bird day we've had all year. We saw many, many blue herons and cormorants, kingfishers, two bald eagles, a white egret, and an osprey. Hubby had taken his camera in a ziplock bag and whenever we came across a bird he would take the camera out of the bag, fumble with turning it on and setting the settings but by then the bird was gone. He got a lot of pictures of where the birds had been. It was pretty funny. There weren't any other boats out so it was like we owned the lake. So nice! The water level was down quite a bit from last time so we were worried that we couldn't get the canoe out of the water, but we managed just fine. It was quite a long step getting in and out though. The top of our dock was about four feet from the water.

    Now dinner is in the oven and smells wonderful. Time to go make the sweet potatoes.

    Later, ladies.

    Sylvia
  • janetr7476
    janetr7476 Posts: 4,001 Member
    edited October 2015
    Sylvia What time is dinner, I'll be there :)

    Terri if you can qualify for the loan, there are some loans that allow the seller to make the down payment for you out of the proceeds from the sale of the house. You have a couple of years to took into what options you may have and perhaps save some towards a down payment. Don't despair, it will work out. ((((Hugs)))

    Janetr OKC



  • pipcd34
    pipcd34 Posts: 17,064 Member
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  • drkatiebug
    drkatiebug Posts: 1,971 Member
    Terri, that doesn't sound trivial to me. It is your home and your future. I'm sorry for the stress of it. It is hard to figure out what's fair when you have co-mingled funds with family. What does your dad want out of the situation? Does he want his own place (possibly down-sized) that he owns? Does he just want his down payment back, his down payment plus his share of equity? How does the value of the house compare to the purchase price? Do you and your husband have enough in your share of equity that might qualify as a down payment? How attached are you to the house? Would it be better to just let it go and rent something else for a while? I'm not trying to be nosy. You don't have to answer these questions on here, but they are questions to consider and work out. I apologize if I'm jumped in too much here. It is not my intention to up your stress level. I also belong to a financial message board, and these are the kinds of topics we love to hash out on there.
  • barbiecat
    barbiecat Posts: 17,134 Member
    :'( Teri, that is shocking news from your father and a distressing response from your DH but do not be discouraged. Stay in the moment. Get some rest before you decide what to do next.

    <3 hugs to you from Barbie
  • mollywhippet
    mollywhippet Posts: 1,890 Member
    Just one more note from me and I'll leave you all alone for the rest of the day.

    I just had the most amazing thing happen. We walked the dogs across the dam and of course Spot wanted to wade in at the boat ramp, so he was completely soaked. I like that because then he and I walk back to the cabin by ourselves (so he doesn't get his wet self on the car seats). There is a big dead tree just to the west of the spillway where vultures roost and this evening it was overflowing with them. There must have been 50 or more. Just as Spot and I arrived near the foot of that tree I heard a huge fluttering and looked up to see ALL of those birds taking off at the same time. It was amazing! In the setting sunlight their wing feathers looked silver. They were only a few feet from me. It was really amazing. Now I know that vultures are not a glamorous bird, but they are really impressive that close, I can promise you that. I really wish I had pictures!

    Good night!

    Sylvia
  • jmkmomm
    jmkmomm Posts: 3,247 Member
    Cynthia, I believe the brain sandwiches at the Fall Festival are pig brains. That's what most of the places around here that make brains are made from. I don't know the recipe, my mother in law used to make them, but you take the brain and mix it with stuff and deep fry it. They are big enough you serve them on the the big buns like a tenderloin sandwich. It's generally only served with ketchup, mustard and onion. It's an acquired taste which I have. My husband decided years ago that he needed to let me eat the best for my first one. So we went to one of the local taverns in one of the more German sections of towns. You really find good food at taverns. Not to healthy though!

    Tonight we went to Red Lobster tonight to celebrate our wedding anniversary that was September 2nd while Charlie was in the hospital with meningitis. Since he has his sense of taste and appetite big time we decided to go tonight. They have a light meal and it was really good, tilapia, brocolli, side salad and baked potato. But it was the cheddar biscuits that got me. If I had stopped at one I would have been OK, but I ate 2. I did bring one home for Michelle and have already told her that it is here so that way we will not eat it. Charlie got endless shrimp and ate way to much.

    Joyce, Indiana
  • miakoda40
    miakoda40 Posts: 467 Member
    Feeling blue. Want to eat the world. Need a reminder that good health is worth going after. That I am worth it.
  • pipcd34
    pipcd34 Posts: 17,064 Member
    terri_mom- that is not trivial, i'm so sorry for the stress that you are going thru.
  • bwcetc
    bwcetc Posts: 2,817 Member
    Terri ... I like drkatiebugs advice ... Lots to think about and, fortunately, time to think it through.

    Sylvia ... Cool experience with the birds! You might want to get your husband a waterproof camera for Christmas. There are some reasonably priced yet high quality ones out there. My husband fly fishes and has a digital camera that will allow him to take pics under the water as well.

    Had fun today. Husband and I went to several estate sales. Found an incredibly heavy oak kitchen table that needed minor repair on a leg support ...$25! We're getting ready to deliver it to our new youth pastor's house (church owned but unfurnished)... He's single and doesn't have much of anything. He was thrilled to hear about the table. Now I'm on a mission to find chairs!

    Also got a really good deal on a recumbent exercise bike! I've been wanting one but didn't want to spend the money. This one had all the manuals and extra doo dads in a ziplock bag. Wide seat, adjustable, padded back with lumbar support. It's a nautilus ... Dont know if that's s good brand or not ... But only paid $50.

    Feeling quite pleased with myself!
  • klanders30
    klanders30 Posts: 2,569 Member
    Mia! Take a long luxurious soak in the tub, call up an old friend, scrub the kitchen floor, make art, clean out a closet, brush and floss. I only know that i feel better in the morning, wake up with less pain, when i do not eat late into the nite. Your progress, your health matters more than just about any thing you would eat right now. You are worth it.
    Karen from ny
  • pipcd34
    pipcd34 Posts: 17,064 Member
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  • barbiecat
    barbiecat Posts: 17,134 Member
    edited October 2015
    t3362.gif Jake declared today his best birthday ever. We had oatmeal and raisins together for breakfast, shared the dog walking, went to one of our favorite Chinese restaurants for lunch, ate the leftovers for supper and watched TV and a movie in between. He got a call from one daughter and a card from the other and a card and call from one brother.
  • mtowne002
    mtowne002 Posts: 152 Member
    edited October 2015
    Does Jake have a brother? (Tee hee!). Very tired tonight from a long, hard but very good day at work. Lots of really nice compliments..they were bringing each of us in for training on using our site and I taught the trainer something..felt good..he is so awesome..too bad he's 32. Saw a really awesome friend last pm. Good to reconnect. Made plans w a woman at work to meet for a restorative yoga class on Tuesday. Also have plans to go to Conway NH w my SIL next weekend. We also bought tickets to take the train to top of Mt Washington. As a hiker I've climbed it seven times it's over a mile high and treacherous. Never thought I'd see the top again. Looking forward to it. Terri that's not trivial. I know that with some research and support from our group you can make it work. Nice pics gals. Grits I like the name Crackers. Allison ditto to the other ladies. Sorry. Pip and JanetR glad to hear your doing well. Brain sandwiches? Ewwwww to each her own I guess? Heather thinking of you. Barbie thanks for the encouragement about the caffeine....yesterday and today I drank half the caffeine I usually do but at work today couldn't cope and had a small coffee with lots of ice. I read a book a looooong time ago called Caffeine Blues about the effects of caffeine and methods to get over it. I think I'll see if Kindle has it. Too tired to eat the supper I had entered just going to go to bed. Night all.
    Mindy from Boston
  • Sunnygirl_2015
    Sunnygirl_2015 Posts: 184 Member
    Terri mom- I am so sorry your weekend to pamper yourself turned into a whopper! Sending you hugs and smiles. Let this just simmer on the back burner so to speak and try if you can to enjoy the time you have left <3 It is a tuff situation that deserves a thoughtful response on your part. And as Barbie said you have time to reach a decision and research your options as Dr Katie mentioned. I would just add - do you want to keep the house because you love it or has it just served a purposeful use? For example, i drove a minivan for many years because I needed it to cart my kids and their friends but I am much happier now with my cross over vehicle. The van's usefulness ended as the kids learned to drive. So I sold it. The houses usefulness for you may be coming to an end in 2 years, but only you can feel and know what's best.

    As an investment though I would suggest doing lots of research. Interest rates are very low now which will go in your favor. Banks can be scary but if you go in knowing your credit scores you'll be in a better position to get a loan. You may even be able to apply online. Also, tax write offs for mortgage interest, property taxes, and any improvements you make to it etc. all need consideration. Maybe set aside a little time each week (a hour here and there) over the next few months to look at all sides of this. The first step is always hardest for me :D but once I get going - watch out. I hope I haven't overstepped here...please know it's all MHO offered in friend ship. I am a financial planner so there you go.

    Sending prayers to all. I'm half way through my paperwork this weekend. Temps have been 100 plus since Thursday but I have gone to the pool to cool off. Staying on track and recording all that I'm eating in MFP.

    <3 Rosie in So Cal
  • janetr7476
    janetr7476 Posts: 4,001 Member
    edited October 2015
    miakoda40 wrote: »
    Feeling blue. Want to eat the world. Need a reminder that good health is worth going after. That I am worth it.

    Aw, Mia, I'm so sorry you are feeling that way. The thing is you know that eating everything in sight will just pull you further down in the dumps. You go gett out a couple of those before and after pictures. Take a good long look, then pat yourself on the back and say look at what I have done. I AM WORTH IT. Great big (((hugs))). Hang in there, sweetie.

    Janetr OKC
  • Katla49
    Katla49 Posts: 10,385 Member
    I live in Halloween Town, USA. This is the place that Disney shot the movie about 15 years ago. We still celebrate Halloween more than most places I've lived, and there is an annual pumpkin lighting. It is usually small event for little kids. This year, it was a BIG Event. One of the original kid stars of the movie, now a young woman in her thirties, came to light the pumpkin and things were crazy. The whole downtown was filled with people, children, and dogs, many in Halloween costumes. Even the actress was amazed. DS estimated 10 thousand people were there. Holy moly! I am not a good estimator of crowd sizes but I was astonished. Most people seemed to be having a great time. :bigsmile:

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