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How is the MFPer above going to die?
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Died fighting in an ultimate battle of the beasts in a real life monster game.0
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Sparky..was not a bright spark..stuck fork in powerpoint..nobody knows why0
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Thought she was clever by teasing me with my full name, but didn't realize that saying it three times in a row summons my vengeful spirit. They say live and learn but well, she didn't live.0
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Broke his mirror, cried himself to death0
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Car accident - with his ragtop down so his hair could blow, the extreme wind blew him as well out of his car onto the ice, ice, baby...0
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Shaving his private arts with a cut throat razor ...not so smart..had very shaky hands..bled to death0
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He tightened his ballcap so it would stay on, but cut off an important vein and died when the pressure to the vein ruptured it. Witnesses said they'd never seen so much blood.0
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Lack of blood circulation while competing in his 7th "Thumb War" competition...0
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Murdered by a jealous husband0
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After responding "no" to her spouse's question "Do I look fat in these jeans?", the button burst from her spouse's jeans into her left eye resulting in her instant but painless death. Moral of the story: Although the truth hurts, it doesn't kill - whereas lies DO kill...
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This poor soul was running rapidly towards his bus, all the while texting his lover that he was on his way; his car had a flat and the only way he could get there was Mass Transit. He slipped on a strange patch of ice, falling into the street, where he was rapidly smashed by a snow plow/blower and spit out in bloody pieces...0
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buffalo stampede0
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After a family feud over what's for dinner, she heads out to the local supermarket. Ignoring the expiration date (because the price is right) she presses her luck and purchases 3 lbs of chicken breasts. She arrives home and prepares her famous chicken casserole in what seemed like a split second, putting the lives of her entire family in jeopardy. As she sets the table, she trips over the remote control causing a chain reaction as she ultimately plummets to her death as her head hits the ground.0
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Trying to regain his health he starts downing protein shakes in mass quantities...
On a trip to the shopping mall to pick up more he decides to go buy some new pants on the second floor. He hops in the elevator alone..but mid level it stops..he feels a rumble in his tummy..breaks out into a sweat..he knows it means one thing..a protein fart is approaching..desperately he claws at the doors..whimpering...then ever so silently the gas leaves his body...invading his nostrils..blood quickly starts to seep from his nose..the toxic gas starts to rot his nasal passages..then eats into his brain...
Finally the elevator starts up again and the doors open on the second floor..where 6 people die when the doors open.....protein farts are lethal..people!!0 -
She attacked me, trying to attach a mistletoe belt buckle to my pants, and I was forced to spray her with pepper spray. She was allergic, it wasn't pretty.0
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You've heard the tale of "Rosemary's baby"..well she had 5 of them...she made the mistake of withholding pocket money...it wasn't pretty what they did to her...0
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in my arm's tonight0
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Jo died in his arms...from leprosy. He caught it.0
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Smashed in a chain car accident0
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Was posing as an international jewel thief from Paris and was trying to fence some ice. He was found out to be a fraud from Picipsy Kansas and his diamonds rock candy, so the real criminals made him eat all of his fake diamonds and left him hanging upside down from the top of the Eiffel Tower where he choked to death!0
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That's scary up there that's why I don't drive in the Winter!
She was chasing Tornados and was struck by a cow!0 -
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carb overdose!0
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She got envious of guys because we can pee in urinals, so she tried to do it herself. Unfortunately some of it went down her leg and onto the floor, and when she stepped back from the urinal she slipped in it. She smacked her head on the handle of the urinal, and died on the bathroom floor with her skirt around her ankles and lying in a puddle of her own pee.0
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He was going speed sailing and was standing in the front of the boat to catch the wind on his face. Unfortunately, a seagull was flying low, and smacked him in the face, breaking his sunglasses. A shard of the lens embedded in his eye, causing an infection he couldn't come back from0
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