Family Support
Replies
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What are they having that's so awful you can't eat it or have less cheese or bread with it?0
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Or you could eat some of what they're having, with some veggies on the side (eating together = win). Maybe if your kids actually see you enjoying some veggies, rather than just seeing their dad reject veggies, they might even try a veggie once in a while (= second win). And it might make it easier to meet that goal you recently set of eating at least 1200 calories a day (= third win). Win-win-win. What's not to like?0
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lynn_glenmont wrote: »Or you could eat some of what they're having, with some veggies on the side (eating together = win). Maybe if your kids actually see you enjoying some veggies, rather than just seeing their dad reject veggies, they might even try a veggie once in a while (= second win). And it might make it easier to meet that goal you recently set of eating at least 1200 calories a day (= third win). Win-win-win. What's not to like?
This is awesome advice!0 -
My husband was like that when we first met. Now he eats whatever I give him. Consider this: healthy food doesn't have to taste like crap. And you can still give your males their daily dose of hunter/gatherer while feeding them broccoli. Broccoli is a favorite of my husbands, all I have to do is steam it FRESH (give up NOW on frozen veggies, cause there isn't anything you can do to make those steam right/taste good IMHO) and for them, smother it with a little butter and salt to taste. They will grow to like it. Or do healthy food meals, but make a really tasty gravy for them to pour over it. A favorite at our house is pork chops, broccoli/asparagus, and sometimes corn or noodles, with a light turkey gravy for them and none for me.
I'm also one foot in the "suck it up" camp though. Like @MommyL2015 said, you are not an Olive Garden mmmmmkay? You can't be expected to make different meals for different people all the time unless hubby and the boys are willing to shell out $12 per plate plus a tip. I wouldn't even say anything to them. Just make the food you'r gonna make, butter/gravy/seasoning on the side for them to use at will, and serve it up. If they can't be bothered to cook for themselves, then I guess they aren't that hungry are they?0 -
Here's the way it works in my house. My wife cooks herself dinner. If her dinner fits into my nutritional needs I eat it. If it doesn't I make myself a dinner that does. If the kiddo wants something other than what my wife or I are cooking, she makes it herself.
IMHO no one should be forced to eat food they don't like or don't want. We do make the kiddo try different foods. Tiny amounts, if she doesn't like it she can spit it out.
My wife was more than a little miffed when I started "rejecting" her dinners. Her rationale was it's too much work to cook multiple dinners. I pointed out it's no more work for her, so why should she care. Things have settled down since then. :-)
While working through this I had an epiphany. She was cooking herself dinner. I was eating the extra portions. Since I've started "packing my own chute," weight loss has become MUCH easier.0 -
I'm gonna disagree with @ZeroDelta a little bit here, although with a caveat: clearly what his family is doing is working for them, and everyone's family works differently. So more power ZD. I'm not saying you're wrong. I'm glad you were able to find something that worked for you, and who knows, maybe it will work for her too.
But I do wanna play devil's advocate here. Maybe people SHOULD be forced to eat food they don't like or want, or rather, CHILDREN should be. You only have so much time to teach your kids the very important lesson that sometimes, you have to do things you don't want to do, don't like, or are uncomfortable in order to attain a desired goal, or to avoid a worse consequence. In this case, that goal is good health and the consequence is poor health. If you were to try out what ZeroDelta's family does, what do you think everyone would eat? Would you approve of your sons eating macaroni and cheese 4 nights a week? Or pizza rolls? Or any number of other easy-to-make-easy-to-eat meals that are awful for them? Obviously, you can't force your husband to eat something he doesn't want to. He's a grown-*kitten* man and your control there is limited at best. But you're your sons' mother. You have a sacred natural RIGHT to wield some power and control in their lives until they come of age. I'm not advocating you make them suffer or do crazy stuff that will ensure they end up with eating disorders obviously, but I also don't think you throw in the towel and let them eat whatever the hell they want whenever they want without maintaining some standards (again, ZeroDelta, I do assume you have rules surrounding your daughter's dinners, I'm not saying you don't, I just don't have that info is all, I'm really not going about with some awful idea about you as a father or anything:) I promise). You have a right to tell a child how things are going to be while they are dependent upon you for basic life sustaining stuff is what I'm saying. And someday they'll for sure be off on their own making bad choices when you CAN'T be there to stop them.
So just some healthy food for thought. This doesn't have to be an either/or situation. Maybe consider too, phasing things in real slowly. 7 years ago when hubby and I got together, his choice of dinner was literally a bowl of meat. He called it "bowl 'o' meat". That's not a joke. I'm serious. I had to start out by grinding up canned green beans to mush and adding them to hamburger helper or sloppy joes. And now he eats broccoli, green beans, zucchini, asparagus, fish(used to hate it!), you name it. I think a lot of his problem was that the "veggies" he was exposed to in his youth were always frozen in bags, then microwaved. I don't blame him for thinking they were disgusting, those were. Fresh is not.0 -
All I can say is please try not to raise your kids to be fussy adults. Think of their future wife and what they are going to have to go through.
Put your foot down with your hubby and kids, and stick to it. If they want to eat and not go hungry, then they will want to come around pretty quickly
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clgaram720 wrote: »Would you approve of your sons eating macaroni and cheese 4 nights a week? Or pizza rolls? Or any number of other easy-to-make-easy-to-eat meals that are awful for them?
I'm very fortunate. My daughter is leaning toward pollo vegetarianism. While she may eat a fair amount of macaroni and cheese, she also usually eats a large salad and some protein with it. She's a smart kid. She learns from other people's mistakes.
)
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christinev297 wrote: »All I can say is please try not to raise your kids to be fussy adults. Think of their future wife and what they are going to have to go through.
Or teach them to cook so they don't have to rely on their future spouse.
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christinev297 wrote: »All I can say is please try not to raise your kids to be fussy adults. Think of their future wife and what they are going to have to go through.
Or teach them to cook so they don't have to rely on their future spouse.
Haha very good point
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clgaram720 wrote: »Would you approve of your sons eating macaroni and cheese 4 nights a week? Or pizza rolls? Or any number of other easy-to-make-easy-to-eat meals that are awful for them?
I'm very fortunate. My daughter is leaning toward pollo vegetarianism. While she may eat a fair amount of macaroni and cheese, she also usually eats a large salad and some protein with it. She's a smart kid. She learns from other people's mistakes. )
I figured @ZeroDelta, I just wanted to make sure you knew that while i was offering a dissenting opinion, that it is in fact OPINION and I didn't want you to think it meant I was casting some kind of judgement on your family's way of doing things, cause that's totally not where I was coming from:) Thanks for being so cool about it0 -
christinev297 wrote: »All I can say is please try not to raise your kids to be fussy adults. Think of their future wife and what they are going to have to go through.
Or teach them to cook so they don't have to rely on their future spouse.
Well put! In spite of my leanings toward the "eat what I give you and like it" camp, in an ideal world, we teach our kids to make healthy choices ON THEIR OWN so they go out in the world and we don't have to worry they're making poor health choices and then affecting the people they love with them:)0 -
I thought you said in another thread that you guys almost never eat together because of your husbands crazy work schedule and kids sports schedules? If that was my situation, any meal I could get everyone to eat together I would do it, regardless of what's on the menu. My kids are younger than yours and they are picky but when I find a meal that everyone enjoys I exploit the heck out of it for the one or two nights a week that we all eat together. Grilled cheese and tomato soup? You betcha. Taco night? Giddy up. Stir fry? Slam dunk.
You are chronically under your calories so why not eat the steak, rice and corn? They are teenage boys. That doesn't sound like the worst meal in the world to me... Add some fruit or a green vegetable/salad.... It sounds to me like you are looking for ways to keep yourself separate from them so that you can eat lower calorie foods without them being aware of some of your issues...0 -
My daughter is a fussy eater, doesnt like bread or too much meat. Loves salads, olives etc. We cater to her fussiness because she is actually choosing food that is good for her. Sometimes what is put infront of you isn't the best food for you. She will often pack her own lunch if my husband has been including food she doesnt like too much.I try hard to stock up on her favs but often my husband doesnt think to include these things because its not what he would eat. If he had is way dinner would be meat & carbs. Onion would be about teh only veg in sight.0
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thunder1982 wrote: »My daughter is a fussy eater, doesnt like bread or too much meat. Loves salads, olives etc. We cater to her fussiness because she is actually choosing food that is good for her. Sometimes what is put infront of you isn't the best food for you. She will often pack her own lunch if my husband has been including food she doesnt like too much.I try hard to stock up on her favs but often my husband doesnt think to include these things because its not what he would eat. If he had is way dinner would be meat & carbs. Onion would be about teh only veg in sight.
Oh heck yeah Thunder. I didn't mean imply that it's okay to exert control over a child's food in the opposite (unhealthy) direction. I only meant if they are making bad choices, it's okay, if not required, to step in and help them make better ones.0 -
And obviously, you have to let your kid make choices of their own too. I just thought OP needed a little encouragement because she doesn't seem to think she has that right even if her requests are reasonable... like "eat healthy food"0
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clgaram720 wrote: »
I figured @ZeroDelta, I just wanted to make sure you knew that while i was offering a dissenting opinion, that it is in fact OPINION and I didn't want you to think it meant I was casting some kind of judgement on your family's way of doing things, cause that's totally not where I was coming from:) Thanks for being so cool about it
No offense taken whatsoever. Dissent is what keeps things interesting.
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For me, and I will admit this may just be a reality of growing up poor, as a child, you ate what was on your plate and considered yourself lucky. My mom would never complain if I didn't eat my noodles, but dare I EVER eat the less healthy portion of the plate and ignore the greens..... ugh. You can, like she did, exert a little power by demanding your kids make a choice of "eat the healthy thing or don't, but you're sure not getting any ice cream unless you do". It doesn't have to be forcing them to sit at the table til midnight to make sure they eat their greens. I mean there's some minutiae to this, and it's gonna be different for every family, but it's important that OP find the balance, cause it seems to me she's feeling quite powerless at the moment. It makes me sad for her that her husband doesn't want to help or can't or whatever.0
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Srsly, let your husband cook his own stuff if he's desperate for it. Give your kids some vegetables. (Or put bacon on whatever veg you give them. Bacon & brussel sprouts = delicious.) It's important, you're forming their taste buds.
Cook the same meal for everyone. (I don't know what you like, but if you like meat, a really easy way to feed a bunch of non-vegetarians is to just grill a bunch of whatever, and have potatoes or rice for sides. Plus a salad or boiled/steamed greens. Like it is done inside of 30 minutes, 40 tops if you're making potatoes. Most guys I know are fine with BBQ most days. There are indoor searing grills, too.)0 -
christinev297 wrote: »All I can say is please try not to raise your kids to be fussy adults. Think of their future wife and what they are going to have to go through.
Or teach them to cook so they don't have to rely on their future spouse.
This is really important. Start showing them how to (or just making them) prep stuff, or you're giving their future partners the same problem you have.0 -
christinev297 wrote: »All I can say is please try not to raise your kids to be fussy adults. Think of their future wife and what they are going to have to go through.
Put your foot down with your hubby and kids, and stick to it. If they want to eat and not go hungry, then they will want to come around pretty quickly
My mom cooked a lot of different foods and made us try a lot of things. She was a great cook, but she didn't cater to us - if you didn't like what was on the table, your option was to go to bed hungry. My brother and I grew up to be two of the least picky eaters you'll ever meet, with very broad/diverse palates.
It's hard for me to even imagine a grown man gagging and carrying on about vegetables on his plate. That sounds more like a spoiled prepubescent child to me. If I did that at the table, my wife would laugh at me and say "Go cook your own dinner then!".0 -
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superhockeymom wrote: »So looking for ideas how to get my family behind my healthy eating habits We rarely eat the same meals I normally cook 2 thing one for my boys and husband and then good food for me. Does anyone else do this? I would love to just cook one thing but there is no way I am eating the stuff they like and I am sure they would say the same.
my husband is the same - my kids eat what i give them - however matt is a little less encouraged with slimming world meals - however we are having a major breakthrough as i did bacon and leek quich last night and he ate it!!!0 -
WinoGelato wrote: »I thought you said in another thread that you guys almost never eat together because of your husbands crazy work schedule and kids sports schedules? If that was my situation, any meal I could get everyone to eat together I would do it, regardless of what's on the menu. My kids are younger than yours and they are picky but when I find a meal that everyone enjoys I exploit the heck out of it for the one or two nights a week that we all eat together. Grilled cheese and tomato soup? You betcha. Taco night? Giddy up. Stir fry? Slam dunk.
You are chronically under your calories so why not eat the steak, rice and corn? They are teenage boys. That doesn't sound like the worst meal in the world to me... Add some fruit or a green vegetable/salad.... It sounds to me like you are looking for ways to keep yourself separate from them so that you can eat lower calorie foods without them being aware of some of your issues...
True scoop we never eat together I just figured out Tuesday's we can if it's quick my husband has a thing Tuesday nights and Wednesday if we eat at 8 otherwise it's all different times but even on the night we r in and out it would be nice to make one meal and have them eat when able otherwise I spend all night cooking last night we were all home well mostly some a little late and I guess it hit me that I am still having to make tons of different food to satisfy everyone. Good thing I didn't have a big family lol0 -
Get the kids eating healthy food. It's good for them and you will raise people who won't be able to blame you for their bad habits. Get your husband on board because the kids will groan and whine about he doesn't eat them, lol.
You said it but the husband on board is not going to happen0 -
Get the kids eating healthy food. It's good for them and you will raise people who won't be able to blame you for their bad habits. Get your husband on board because the kids will groan and whine about he doesn't eat them, lol.
You said it but the husband on board is not going to happenchristinev297 wrote: »All I can say is please try not to raise your kids to be fussy adults. Think of their future wife and what they are going to have to go through.
Put your foot down with your hubby and kids, and stick to it. If they want to eat and not go hungry, then they will want to come around pretty quickly
My mom cooked a lot of different foods and made us try a lot of things. She was a great cook, but she didn't cater to us - if you didn't like what was on the table, your option was to go to bed hungry. My brother and I grew up to be two of the least picky eaters you'll ever meet, with very broad/diverse palates.
It's hard for me to even imagine a grown man gagging and carrying on about vegetables on his plate. That sounds more like a spoiled prepubescent child to me. If I did that at the table, my wife would laugh at me and say "Go cook your own dinner then!".
I should video tape it.0 -
The beauty of no longer having babies/toddlers, is that you really are not afraid they will starve or be labelled as failure to thrive or just cry until they turn blue. Cook whatever sounds reasonable to you, they can eat it, or not.0
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The beauty of no longer having babies/toddlers, is that you really are not afraid they will starve or be labelled as failure to thrive or just cry until they turn blue. Cook whatever sounds reasonable to you, they can eat it, or not.
I like this idea and I I think next week I will be utilizing the crockpot then it's ready when they need it I'm not a short order cook and I can make veggies for me I will have rice or noodles or bread all ready for them. Win win for me not my husbands favorite but he will just have to get used to it.0 -
superhockeymom wrote: »
There's nothing wrong with Hamburger Helper. That's a go to for my family on busy nights too. I cook family packs of ground beef on the weekend and divide them up into 1 lb portions and stick in the freezer. It's ready in under 15 minutes and you can add some frozen green beans, chopped spinach, or frozen peas in it. Serve a salad on the side, and garlic bread. Everyone will be happy.
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WinoGelato wrote: »superhockeymom wrote: »
There's nothing wrong with Hamburger Helper. That's a go to for my family on busy nights too. I cook family packs of ground beef on the weekend and divide them up into 1 lb portions and stick in the freezer. It's ready in under 15 minutes and you can add some frozen green beans, chopped spinach, or frozen peas in it. Serve a salad on the side, and garlic bread. Everyone will be happy.
No one would be happy if I added anything to it. I used to add peas back when I ate it.0
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