Relationships and Age (May be Offensive To Some)

LMT2012

You've heard location, location, location before regarding real estate. Well, love/ marriage are timing, timing, timing. It sounds very unromantic, but when you decide to commit, the opportunity will present itself. I think a lot of waiting for the "perfect" mate is, in fact, not being equipped for the sacrifices it takes to be married.

anemoneprose

i.e., I am fine with 'selfishness', it's just part of the human condition.

You know, I completely understand where you're coming from with that opinion, and I agree with you fully (but I didn't know how my strong opinion would be received by the rest of the MFP community). But the part of your statement that struck me most was the one I clipped above. It's only natural for humans to be that way. It's rare to find couples who want to adopt. And even still, to find those who don't adopt yet sponsor children in developing nations.

Right, exactly. And even in those examples, there very likely would be some kind of ego investment, one way or another (e.g., the desire to maintain a conception of the self as altruistic). I really can't envision a scenario in which it doesn't come into play. But again, I am ok with this; we're a mixed bag. Occasionally, the stars align to make objectively good things happen regardless of motivations, and if that's accompanied by warm fuzzies, well, I'm ok with hedonism too

BinaryPulsar

i.e., I am fine with 'selfishness', it's just part of the human condition.

You know, I completely understand where you're coming from with that opinion, and I agree with you fully (but I didn't know how my strong opinion would be received by the rest of the MFP community). But the part of your statement that struck me most was the one I clipped above. It's only natural for humans to be that way. It's rare to find couples who want to adopt. And even still, to find those who don't adopt yet sponsor children in developing nations.

Right, exactly. And even in those examples, there very likely would be some kind of ego investment, one way or another (e.g., the desire to maintain a conception of the self as altruistic). I really can't envision a scenario in which it doesn't come into play. But again, I am ok with this; we're a mixed bag. Occasionally, the stars align to make objectively good things happen regardless of motivations, and if that's accompanied by warm fuzzies, well, I'm ok with hedonism too

I understand what you are saying and how you mean it.

I did look fully into adopting a child, and decided it was not right for me or my family (at least not at this time). I did not have fertility issues and was a young mother. So, I did choose to sponsor a child through plan Canada. I do think there is a benefit to helping provide for a family to be able to raise their own children. I chose to sponsor a girl because of the unique issues they face. I have traveled to India also to do volunteer work. And sponsoring a child is also an important learning experience for my children.

onedayatatime12

there very likely would be some kind of ego investment, one way or another (e.g., the desire to maintain a conception of the self as altruistic)

This is so true! But like you said 'selfishness' is human nature, but sometimes, on the off chance, you DO indeed meet truly selfless people- true humanitarians. And that gives you a warm fuzzy feeling.

onedayatatime12

I understand what you are saying and how you mean it.

I did look fully into adopting a child, and decided it was not right for me or my family (at least not at this time). I did not have fertility issues and was a young mother. So, I did choose to sponsor a child through plan Canada. I do think there is a benefit to helping provide for a family to be able to raise their own children. I chose to sponsor a girl because of the unique issues they face. I have traveled to India also to do volunteer work. And sponsoring a child is also an important learning experience for my children.

I agree. Even sharing an idea with others goes a long way. After all, the spread of ideas leads to the invention of something great (most of the time). By teaching our progeny the right things, we are building a foundation for a brighter future for them, and the world they live in. Knowledge can be such a powerful resource, if in the right hands, and used constructively.

BinaryPulsar

I understand what you are saying and how you mean it.

I did look fully into adopting a child, and decided it was not right for me or my family (at least not at this time). I did not have fertility issues and was a young mother. So, I did choose to sponsor a child through plan Canada. I do think there is a benefit to helping provide for a family to be able to raise their own children. I chose to sponsor a girl because of the unique issues they face. I have traveled to India also to do volunteer work. And sponsoring a child is also an important learning experience for my children.

I agree. Even sharing an idea with others goes a long way. After all, the spread of ideas leads to the invention of something great (most of the time). By teaching our progeny the right things, we are building a foundation for a brighter future for them, and the world they live in. Knowledge can be such a powerful resource, if in the right hands, and used constructively.

My kids have a good life, so I need to teach them about the rest of the world and experiences, so they will know and have compassion and drive to improve things and to help. I needed to find a healthy way of teaching that, and in a way that they would learn without even realizing I was trying to teach that.

onedayatatime12

My kids have a good life, so I need to teach them about the rest of the world and experiences, so they will know and have compassion and drive to improve things and to help. I needed to find a healthy way of teaching that, and in a way that they would learn without even realizing I was trying to teach that.

That's really sweet to know that someone cares! Thank you. You restore my faith in humanity :') If everyone helped a little, the world would be so much better. Every little gesture adds up to a lot.

rose228822

Great question. As I get older I find myself to be a bit more selective. I guess with experiences in the past I am more guarded but I don't regret any relationships I had in the past, I just feel I may have stayed too long in some and life is just too short.
I think I've soften since I've had children but I think in the past I was more the type to go along with just anything but I'm different now and wiser. Fortunately I am in a great relationship right now and I feel genuinely blessed with a great man and my three wonderful teenage daughters. Take care.

onedayatatime12

Great question. As I get older I find myself to be a bit more selective. I guess with experiences in the past I am more guarded but I don't regret any relationships I had in the past, I just feel I may have stayed too long in some and life is just too short.
I think I've soften since I've had children but I think in the past I was more the type to go along with just anything but I'm different now and wiser. Fortunately I am in a great relationship right now and I feel genuinely blessed with a great man and my three wonderful teenage daughters. Take care.

Thank you for your insight! :flowerforyou:

laurenmanderson1

bump for later

jetlag

its not settling (well for some it may be).. but I just think as you grow older your priorities change and what you look for is different than what you would have looked for when you were younger.

This. I finally married the man of my dreams after I stopped falling for the "bad boy" (read: jerk) type. I would never have fallen for him when I was in my 20s because he was too nice!

onedayatatime12

It seems to me that everyone agrees that as you age, your priorities and your outlook certainly change!