Relationships and Age (May be Offensive To Some)
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work on your self first then worry about a relationship later in your life you will be better for it0
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Well statistically speaking the more educated and older a woman is the less likely she will find a partner. So yes if yes I believe you have to settle. Combine that with biological clocks ticking in the 30's with less than attractive physical features and be happy with the crumbs life gives you. If you dont want to settle then expect being single for many years.
Then again I think getting married too young is also a bad idea. There is a happy medium and that age is 24-27.
Wow! So the older and better educated I am, the more likely I am to stay single. That doesn't really bother me now, but if someone had said that to me five years ago, I might have made a different decision about pursuing my degree. :ohwell:
This is what I think too. I find that people DO settle because who REALLY wants an equal partner? It's human nature to want to be the best and if your spouse is by your side, and has accomplished much more than you have, wouldn't it make you feel like *kitten*? One person is usually always on a pedestal in the relationship (if it's a stable one of course), and it depends on the dynamic of the two. How many times have you seen two highly accomplished people stay married for long? It always seems like they clash so much, and drift apart. Seems to me like in all the successful relationships, one is always more accomplished than the other and even if the other doesn't admit it, they certainly feel it in their heart.
But if the person is unaccomplished serves a source of support to the accomplished, and both are okay with that, then who are you to place judgment on that partnership. You are correct in thinking that relationships are never entirely equal. In some relationships, one partner will excell above the other partner, and in some relationships each partner will take turns at uplifting each other. This is when it becomes important to find a partner that suits your personality so that expectations are understood.0 -
I have found that I am pickier and put up with less crap as I get older. I just know what I really want and can decide pretty quickly if it's not going to work out long term with a guy. I hold tight to my standards, but they are just not a huge list of ridiculous "non-existent dream fantasy guy" qualities that I required when I was younger. I think this can sometimes be misconstrued as settling.0
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who REALLY wants an equal partner?
In all seriousness, the answer to that question is "mature, intelligent people comfortable with themselves."
How many successful marriages do you know where both people are equal in status (social, financial, intellectual)? I can't think of any off the top of my head. We think and say that we want it, but we're programmed by evolution (I think) to want to be the best in what we do, so we don't actively seek out 'matches'. Therefore, we DO settle, in my opinion. We don't intend for it to be that way, but we do indeed settle imho.0 -
Hmmm.. I got married pretty young (23) with high expectations. My husband and I started dating when I was 18... Wow, as I'm typing this, I'm realizing how young I was! Anyway, the only person I've ever dated was my husband and I think it's because I was waiting for the right person hoping the right person was also waiting for me. And when we finally ended up at the right place at the right time, I just kinda knew that we'd grow old together, you know? I remember some of my friends telling me to take a break and date other people for a while, but why waste other people's time if I knew deep down I wanted to marry my best friend?
I'm not sure what my expectations would have been had I waited until I was much older... I'd probably still expect a lot from my partner. I was raised to believe that I deserve the best and I'm worth fighting for... Thank you, Dad.
I don't know if this answered the question... It looks like there are lots of good answers though!0 -
work on your self first then worry about a relationship later in your life you will be better for it
I wholly agree with this, OP. If you can't understand the dynamics of your friend's relationship, then you probably just aren't ready for one yourself.0 -
If your operational definition of Love is "a mutual long-term physical and intellectual attraction" then settling or person-hopping is probably the best you can hope for.
True Love, not the emotional "I don't have any control over who I fall in love with" (because I am having an oxytocin reaction in my brain and I am a sucker for wild emotion swings) or the attraction based on physical intimacy, but real Love is a decision to commit your life to another person. Love is giving, it is completely selfless, it always puts the other's well-being first. It is the greatest thing that a person can do and it brings a fulfillment and happiness to a person that nothing else of this world can compare to.
I am guessing you have never experienced that?
My husband and I have a mutual long term physical and intellectual attraction (for 17 years and counting), why would that suddenly change?0 -
That was the situation with one of my relatives, and still is. I agree- accomplishments are accomplishments. But the parents of the groom don't seem to realize that, and they make things hell for the two. When I mean accomplished, I mean, the spouses should be at pretty much the same status (e.g. career, intellectual capacity, etc.). It makes it harder on the couple when there's a difference in status, so why not find a wholesome relationship without the need for such petty clashes? It's almost like you're getting yourself into such a situation that's full of problems, and you KNOW that before you make the commitment, right?
I'm sorry... are you suggesting that this couple should break up because his parents are terrible people?
Because that's what it sounds like...
Nonononono. Not at all. But if his parents could butt out, I'm sure they both wouldn't mind.
Well that is on the groom... they are HIS parents, correct?
He needs to grow a pair and tell them that he is happy with who he has chosen and that they need to back off.0 -
If your operational definition of Love is "a mutual long-term physical and intellectual attraction" then settling or person-hopping is probably the best you can hope for.
True Love, not the emotional "I don't have any control over who I fall in love with" (because I am having an oxytocin reaction in my brain and I am a sucker for wild emotion swings) or the attraction based on physical intimacy, but real Love is a decision to commit your life to another person. Love is giving, it is completely selfless, it always puts the other's well-being first. It is the greatest thing that a person can do and it brings a fulfillment and happiness to a person that nothing else of this world can compare to.
I am guessing you have never experienced that?
Well the only guy I've loved/will always love is my dad
And that <-- is true love in my opinion. I love my dad because I'm attached to him- I care about him, and think about him a lot every day. I don't love him because he provided me with food, clothing, and shelter all these years, but I love him because I love him and I don't know why. Perhaps this is what you mean by love with a partner? Oh, and I've never liked anyone before, at all. 0 -
If your operational definition of Love is "a mutual long-term physical and intellectual attraction" then settling or person-hopping is probably the best you can hope for.
True Love, not the emotional "I don't have any control over who I fall in love with" (because I am having an oxytocin reaction in my brain and I am a sucker for wild emotion swings) or the attraction based on physical intimacy, but real Love is a decision to commit your life to another person. Love is giving, it is completely selfless, it always puts the other's well-being first. It is the greatest thing that a person can do and it brings a fulfillment and happiness to a person that nothing else of this world can compare to.
I am guessing you have never experienced that?
Well the only guy I've loved/will always love is my dad And I've never liked anyone before, at all.
Your ideas about relationships will change as you grow older. I think that is ultimately the answer to the question you are asking here.0 -
Well statistically speaking the more educated and older a woman is the less likely she will find a partner. So yes if yes I believe you have to settle. Combine that with biological clocks ticking in the 30's with less than attractive physical features and be happy with the crumbs life gives you. If you dont want to settle then expect being single for many years.
Then again I think getting married too young is also a bad idea. There is a happy medium and that age is 24-27.
Wow! So the older and better educated I am, the more likely I am to stay single. That doesn't really bother me now, but if someone had said that to me five years ago, I might have made a different decision about pursuing my degree. :ohwell:
This is what I think too. I find that people DO settle because who REALLY wants an equal partner? It's human nature to want to be the best and if your spouse is by your side, and has accomplished much more than you have, wouldn't it make you feel like *kitten*? One person is usually always on a pedestal in the relationship (if it's a stable one of course), and it depends on the dynamic of the two. How many times have you seen two highly accomplished people stay married for long? It always seems like they clash so much, and drift apart. Seems to me like in all the successful relationships, one is always more accomplished than the other and even if the other doesn't admit it, they certainly feel it in their heart.
If all people have narcissistic personality disorder and they don't. You have some kind of biased info and not enough life experience.
This, and WOW! someone will never have a healthy relationship until they lose this attitude! Your life partner is just that. He/ She is your equal, and you stand by one another. Seriously way off!!!0 -
Well statistically speaking the more educated and older a woman is the less likely she will find a partner. So yes if yes I believe you have to settle. Combine that with biological clocks ticking in the 30's with less than attractive physical features and be happy with the crumbs life gives you. If you dont want to settle then expect being single for many years.
Then again I think getting married too young is also a bad idea. There is a happy medium and that age is 24-27.
Wow! So the older and better educated I am, the more likely I am to stay single. That doesn't really bother me now, but if someone had said that to me five years ago, I might have made a different decision about pursuing my degree. :ohwell:
This is what I think too. I find that people DO settle because who REALLY wants an equal partner? It's human nature to want to be the best and if your spouse is by your side, and has accomplished much more than you have, wouldn't it make you feel like *kitten*? One person is usually always on a pedestal in the relationship (if it's a stable one of course), and it depends on the dynamic of the two. How many times have you seen two highly accomplished people stay married for long? It always seems like they clash so much, and drift apart. Seems to me like in all the successful relationships, one is always more accomplished than the other and even if the other doesn't admit it, they certainly feel it in their heart.
If all people have narcissistic personality disorder and they don't. You have some kind of biased info and not enough life experience.
This, and WOW! someone will never have a healthy relationship until they lose this attitude! Your life partner is just that. He/ She is your equal, and you stand by one another. Seriously way off!!!
I think she was actually thinking more in terms of financial provision and has not considered what non-monetary benefits that the bride is bringing to the relationship. She's just young... cut her some slack. She's trying to understand how relationships work and doesn't have the life experience to fully grasp it.0 -
who REALLY wants an equal partner?
In all seriousness, the answer to that question is "mature, intelligent people comfortable with themselves."
How many successful marriages do you know where both people are equal in status (social, financial, intellectual)? I can't think of any off the top of my head. We think and say that we want it, but we're programmed by evolution (I think) to want to be the best in what we do, so we don't actively seek out 'matches'. Therefore, we DO settle, in my opinion. We don't intend for it to be that way, but we do indeed settle imho.
Um...... several. Most of my closest friends are in such relationships. They're educated, successful, intelligent, active, etc.
You're 18. You haven't seen a whole lot yet. I'm 32 and haven't seen a whole lot yet. But I've seen successful relationships. In fact, all the successful long-term relationships I've seen are of people who treat each other as equals.0 -
There's settling and there's dreaming, somewhere in the middle there's a sweet spot. Everybody dreams of a guy/girl with perfect 10 body, face of an angel, brain of einstein, sensitivity of Shakespeare, and wealth of Bill Gates. At some point you'll need to climb down from the clouds and get real. It doesn't mean you need to take any old bum, you just gotta pick a real human being.
I totally agree with this ^
As a narcissist, though, I'm always wondering if I'm settling. I think as long as you have a healthy relationship and you enjoy being around each other, it's worth sticking around. It may be that I've only had very similar relationships, but it seems like they all feel pretty much the same once I've settled into them.0 -
There is a little settling involved merely because as we mature we realize what is really important. When I was younger, I thought it was important to be with a pretty, artsy girl with a nice body who enjoyed biking around town and eating at weird little ethnic joints. I even married one. After she skipped out on my, I fell in love with a wonderful woman who, while attractive to me, is far from flawless. And she doesn't like all that stuff I thought was so important. But on a deeper level, we are two sides of the same coin and I couldn't be happier.
So, long story short, don't "settle" but do reevaluate what really matters.0 -
Well statistically speaking the more educated and older a woman is the less likely she will find a partner. So yes if yes I believe you have to settle. Combine that with biological clocks ticking in the 30's with less than attractive physical features and be happy with the crumbs life gives you. If you dont want to settle then expect being single for many years.
Then again I think getting married too young is also a bad idea. There is a happy medium and that age is 24-27.
Wow! So the older and better educated I am, the more likely I am to stay single. That doesn't really bother me now, but if someone had said that to me five years ago, I might have made a different decision about pursuing my degree. :ohwell:
You know what doing a few internet searches it seems like what I learned in Sociology 101 some years ago has completely changed in fact marriage rates for college educated women in their 30's is growing.
Looking first at women of all races, we see that after age 30 college graduates pull ahead in the percentage currently married - even though they don't catch up with the two education groups right below them in the percentage ever married until their late 30s. By age 40 college graduates are significantly ahead of the two education groups right behind them in the percentage currently married, while female high school dropouts remain way behind. About 75% of college graduates are married at age 40, compared to about 70% of those who attained high school or some college and only about 60% of those who didn't complete high school. In yet another historical reversal, women with less than a high school education are the least likely to be currently married at all ages after 30.
http://www.contemporaryfamilies.org/marriage-partnership-divorce/fact-sheet-marriage-and-education.html
I dont know anything about this organization, but it seems to be consistent with what other sources are saying0 -
I may be cynical about the concept of "love" or more simply put "a mutual long-term physical and intellectual attraction". But is it true that as you get older and you don't find what you want in a guy and you keep moving from relationship to relationship, your expectations diminish and you learn to expect less? Do you basically settle for less as you grow older and still are single? This is not meant to be rude in any way, I just really honestly am wondering this. I have a few friends and relatives I know, who married, at what would be considered, an older age than most, and they had proposals before their current spouse. To be honest, it was a topic of conversation among my friends and I, and everyone believed that the earlier proposals (potential spouses) were more qualified, more attractive, and overall, highly accomplished. Their potential in-laws were also more accomplished and accepting than were the current in-laws.
It's just something I've wondered, and I want to say that I do not mean offense to anyone by this post. If I have offended you in any way, I sincerely apologize.
Thanks for taking the time to read this and reflect upon it!
IN...
...for women with diminished expectations.
disclaimer - this post was not made by jof. any resemblance or similarity to any post made by jof is purely coincidental. all rights reserved.0 -
Well statistically speaking the more educated and older a woman is the less likely she will find a partner. So yes if yes I believe you have to settle. Combine that with biological clocks ticking in the 30's with less than attractive physical features and be happy with the crumbs life gives you. If you dont want to settle then expect being single for many years.
Then again I think getting married too young is also a bad idea. There is a happy medium and that age is 24-27.
Wow! So the older and better educated I am, the more likely I am to stay single. That doesn't really bother me now, but if someone had said that to me five years ago, I might have made a different decision about pursuing my degree. :ohwell:
You know what doing a few internet searches it seems like what I learned in Sociology 101 some years ago has completely changed in fact marriage rates for college educated women in their 30's is growing.
Looking first at women of all races, we see that after age 30 college graduates pull ahead in the percentage currently married - even though they don't catch up with the two education groups right below them in the percentage ever married until their late 30s. By age 40 college graduates are significantly ahead of the two education groups right behind them in the percentage currently married, while female high school dropouts remain way behind. About 75% of college graduates are married at age 40, compared to about 70% of those who attained high school or some college and only about 60% of those who didn't complete high school. In yet another historical reversal, women with less than a high school education are the least likely to be currently married at all ages after 30.
http://www.contemporaryfamilies.org/marriage-partnership-divorce/fact-sheet-marriage-and-education.html
I dont know anything about this organization, but it seems to be consistent with what other sources are saying
I suspect economy is to blame. It is much harder than it used to be to support a family on a single income. Men are looking for women that can pull their own weight financially. And of course, it is a given that the better educated you are, the more money you can make.0 -
Interesting thread!0
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I am sad to report that I would agree it is true for me. I put up with things in my marriage I would have never put up with when dating. I would have dumped my husband long, long ago.0
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Lots of responses! (Some angry too...)
Alright, I'm NOT interested in a relationship/dating or ANYTHING right now, for literally at least another decade. So that's that. I know I don't have ANY life experience, of course I wouldn't! I'm just curious to know what y'all think and so I asked this question.
I guess it all comes down to the fact that it depends on the couple themselves, and that they learn how to handle the dynamic of their respective families and the way it plays into their relationship. And I still strongly believe there's a power rule in a couple, and I don't buy into the 'We love each other and we're equal' view. Sorry.
As for me being narcissistic, or cynical, I'm just talking from what I've seen, which is very limited, since I'm not that old at all. Experiences will change me, sure, but I'm definitely willing to stand by my opinion that love has a motive.0 -
I think as we age we become more forgiving of peoples' imperfections and in that regard we may find things acceptable that were once unthinkable. I believe it's a matter of maturity and being able to correctly identify what matters most to a person in their spouse without considering superficial concerns such as looks, money and family tree.
I wouldn't say family tree is much of a superficial concern. Excessive interference in the couple's marriage is certainly something no one wants (which is what some of the wives in these couples have complained about).
I was referencing your original post where the accomplishments of in-laws was a consideration... perhaps "family tree" wasn't the right term.
Oh, in that case, let me clarify. The parents of the groom feel inferior to the parents of the bride, and there is constantly a tension to live up to their expectations, and compete with them. They act snobby around the parents of the bride, and It's quite disgusting actually.
I'm not sure who is getting married but it sounds as if you have some particular situation in mind. I would say that the problem you're describing comes primarily from a difference in class. If someone that is lower-middle class marries someone that is upper-middle class then there is often tension between families due to differences in traditions that have long been associated with the amount of money available to create them. One family may have pizza night every Friday while the other goes out for sushi every Friday. Hair dye at home from a box vs. in a salon/spa. That sort of thing... the accomplishments of one family do not outweigh the value of the other though. Some of the nicest people I've ever known have been poorer than dirt.
That was the situation with one of my relatives, and still is. I agree- accomplishments are accomplishments. But the parents of the groom don't seem to realize that, and they make things hell for the two. When I mean accomplished, I mean, the spouses should be at pretty much the same status (e.g. career, intellectual capacity, etc.). It makes it harder on the couple when there's a difference in status, so why not find a wholesome relationship without the need for such petty clashes? It's almost like you're getting yourself into such a situation that's full of problems, and you KNOW that before you make the commitment, right?
You're making it sound like you always have a choice in who you fall in love with. Not true. Not true at all. You may find yourself deeply in love with someone who you would never have imagined.0 -
I really love being single and wouldn't change it for anyone right now. So even if the hottest, richest, most accomplished person ever proposed to me, I would tell them no. It's not worth my freedom. If I am older when I meet someone I genuinely care about, and they are less accomplished and less attractive than said "hottest smartest person alive" I would not say I was settling. I would say I was looking for different things, because I met them in different stages of my life.0
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Lots of responses! (Some angry too...)
Alright, I'm NOT interested in a relationship/dating or ANYTHING right now, for literally at least another decade. So that's that. I know I don't have ANY life experience, of course I wouldn't! I'm just curious to know what y'all think and so I asked this question.
I guess it all comes down to the fact that it depends on the couple themselves, and that they learn how to handle the dynamic of their respective families and the way it plays into their relationship. And I still strongly believe there's a power rule in a couple, and I don't buy into the 'We love each other and we're equal' view. Sorry.
As for me being narcissistic, or cynical, I'm just talking from what I've seen, which is very limited, since I'm not that old at all. Experiences will change me, sure, but I'm definitely willing to stand by my opinion that love has a motive.
i think that the term "settling" is a misnomer. what actually happens as you get older is that the characteristics you value in another person change. when i was 18, it honestly didn't matter too much whether i could hold an interesting 3 hour conversation with a woman. now it does. there are all sorts of traits that you look for when you are 18 that end up not being as important when you're 30 or 40 or 50 years old, and vice versa.
so you don't "settle", you simply get wiser about the things that truly need to be there in order to find long term compatibility with somebody else.0 -
I think as we age we become more forgiving of peoples' imperfections and in that regard we may find things acceptable that were once unthinkable. I believe it's a matter of maturity and being able to correctly identify what matters most to a person in their spouse without considering superficial concerns such as looks, money and family tree.
I wouldn't say family tree is much of a superficial concern. Excessive interference in the couple's marriage is certainly something no one wants (which is what some of the wives in these couples have complained about).
I was referencing your original post where the accomplishments of in-laws was a consideration... perhaps "family tree" wasn't the right term.
Oh, in that case, let me clarify. The parents of the groom feel inferior to the parents of the bride, and there is constantly a tension to live up to their expectations, and compete with them. They act snobby around the parents of the bride, and It's quite disgusting actually.
I'm not sure who is getting married but it sounds as if you have some particular situation in mind. I would say that the problem you're describing comes primarily from a difference in class. If someone that is lower-middle class marries someone that is upper-middle class then there is often tension between families due to differences in traditions that have long been associated with the amount of money available to create them. One family may have pizza night every Friday while the other goes out for sushi every Friday. Hair dye at home from a box vs. in a salon/spa. That sort of thing... the accomplishments of one family do not outweigh the value of the other though. Some of the nicest people I've ever known have been poorer than dirt.
That was the situation with one of my relatives, and still is. I agree- accomplishments are accomplishments. But the parents of the groom don't seem to realize that, and they make things hell for the two. When I mean accomplished, I mean, the spouses should be at pretty much the same status (e.g. career, intellectual capacity, etc.). It makes it harder on the couple when there's a difference in status, so why not find a wholesome relationship without the need for such petty clashes? It's almost like you're getting yourself into such a situation that's full of problems, and you KNOW that before you make the commitment, right?
You're making it sound like you always have a choice in who you fall in love with. Not true. Not true at all. You may find yourself deeply in love with someone who you would never have imagined.
That's the thing. I think love is a stopgap of sorts. A person comes into your life at a time when you have a certain void/need and that person fills it. But if it were anyone else, you'd get attached and feel the same way. So love is really only a way of fulfilling our needs, I think. We can get attached to anyone who fulfills our needs.0 -
In my opinion, experiences influence decisions...especially as we get older however, the heart is often a strong influence sometimes confusing the need for companionship as love. People must do what they feel is best within and without a relationship. If it's right then keep at it; if it's wrong then move on.
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Lots of responses! (Some angry too...)
Alright, I'm NOT interested in a relationship/dating or ANYTHING right now, for literally at least another decade. So that's that. I know I don't have ANY life experience, of course I wouldn't! I'm just curious to know what y'all think and so I asked this question.
I guess it all comes down to the fact that it depends on the couple themselves, and that they learn how to handle the dynamic of their respective families and the way it plays into their relationship. And I still strongly believe there's a power rule in a couple, and I don't buy into the 'We love each other and we're equal' view. Sorry.
As for me being narcissistic, or cynical, I'm just talking from what I've seen, which is very limited, since I'm not that old at all. Experiences will change me, sure, but I'm definitely willing to stand by my opinion that love has a motive.
i think that the term "settling" is a misnomer. what actually happens as you get older is that the characteristics you value in another person change. when i was 18, it honestly didn't matter too much whether i could hold an interesting 3 hour conversation with a woman. now it does. there are all sorts of traits that you look for when you are 18 that end up not being as important when you're 30 or 40 or 50 years old, and vice versa.
so you don't "settle", you simply get wiser about the things that truly need to be there in order to find long term compatibility with somebody else.
In the eyes of someone else, you may be settling. But in your eyes, you're content with what you've got. It's a matter of perspective, I guess.0 -
Lots of responses! (Some angry too...)
Alright, I'm NOT interested in a relationship/dating or ANYTHING right now, for literally at least another decade. So that's that. I know I don't have ANY life experience, of course I wouldn't! I'm just curious to know what y'all think and so I asked this question.
I guess it all comes down to the fact that it depends on the couple themselves, and that they learn how to handle the dynamic of their respective families and the way it plays into their relationship. And I still strongly believe there's a power rule in a couple, and I don't buy into the 'We love each other and we're equal' view. Sorry.
As for me being narcissistic, or cynical, I'm just talking from what I've seen, which is very limited, since I'm not that old at all. Experiences will change me, sure, but I'm definitely willing to stand by my opinion that love has a motive.
It's actually normal for young people to have a somewhat narcissistic view of the world. It is what gives them the confidence to break free and go out into the world and try everything they need to. And all people go through it (to varying degrees) and all people mature and grow.
I don't think people are responding angry here. That is your perception.
I was not saying that you were narcissistic, I was just saying the scenario you described was of a world full of narcissists.
You are right that you are young, so there does seem to be a lot of misunderstanding here both in the views you are presenting and in your reaction to the responses in this thread. But, maybe this can be part of your learning experience. If you are willing to be open to listening.
Also, I don't see why you think you need to wait until you are 28 to have relationships. Go out and enjoy life and have relationships and learn about relationships through experience and learn about yourself and grow and have fun with people.
This is the internet. I don't know you. I don't understand you or what this experience with this friend with some kind of bad relationship is (honestly I've not read this whole thread closely enough or taken the time to analyze these strangers relationships that aren't even here to comment).
And you are very lucky that you had a Dad that you love and that loves you. Not everyone has been so lucky.0 -
I didn't become engaged (and planning a wedding in 2014) until I was 46 years old. I have to say that the man I'm with now is more accomplished (owns a very successful recruiting firm), and is just as good looking as the other 2 men that has proposed to me in the past (one when I was in my mid 20's and the other mid 30's).
I loved them, but I just wasn't convinced that it would last, even though at the time I was head over heels. With the man I'm with now, we've been together for 7 years, and I'm 99% sure that we will grow old together.
I think that every age group has people that settle. The younger ones settle because they don't know if something better will come along, and the older ones settle because they're just tired of being alone.
I'm happy to say that I don't belong to either...
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Well statistically speaking the more educated and older a woman is the less likely she will find a partner. So yes if yes I believe you have to settle. Combine that with biological clocks ticking in the 30's with less than attractive physical features and be happy with the crumbs life gives you. If you dont want to settle then expect being single for many years.
Then again I think getting married too young is also a bad idea. There is a happy medium and that age is 24-27.
Wow! So the older and better educated I am, the more likely I am to stay single. That doesn't really bother me now, but if someone had said that to me five years ago, I might have made a different decision about pursuing my degree. :ohwell:
You know what doing a few internet searches it seems like what I learned in Sociology 101 some years ago has completely changed in fact marriage rates for college educated women in their 30's is growing.
Looking first at women of all races, we see that after age 30 college graduates pull ahead in the percentage currently married - even though they don't catch up with the two education groups right below them in the percentage ever married until their late 30s. By age 40 college graduates are significantly ahead of the two education groups right behind them in the percentage currently married, while female high school dropouts remain way behind. About 75% of college graduates are married at age 40, compared to about 70% of those who attained high school or some college and only about 60% of those who didn't complete high school. In yet another historical reversal, women with less than a high school education are the least likely to be currently married at all ages after 30.
http://www.contemporaryfamilies.org/marriage-partnership-divorce/fact-sheet-marriage-and-education.html
I dont know anything about this organization, but it seems to be consistent with what other sources are saying
I suspect economy is to blame. It is much harder than it used to be to support a family on a single income. Men are looking for women that can pull their own weight financially. And of course, it is a given that the better educated you are, the more money you can make.
Sorry I can't find the article. But I read somewhere that while overall marriage rates are falling. Marriage rates among educated middle and upper class have actually increased. That makes sense to me. I've been married 11 years and I don't think it's a concidence that the fondest parts of our marriage were when we were financially comfortable. Economics may have more to do with mariage in 2013 that a lot of people want to admit.0
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