Dealing with FOOD DIARY police

frankiesgirlie

I have an open food diary to my "friends". On 2 different occasions I've had people Personal message me to give me advice on what I should be eating. I'm not talking about the comments I've gotten when I complained about hitting a plateau, or when I expressed concern when I went on a sugar binge. To my thinking, if you post something about how you maybe didn't do well one day, you probably just have to accept that people will give food advice. But that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about someone that PMs me and says by the way...you'll lose weight a lot faster if you follow my crazy diet of the month where I eat bacon & sausage 3 times a day.
I don't knock anyone for trying something new, it's their health and their life, but my approach is a lot different this time and I don't appreciate people trying to "convert" me.
My background is that while I've never been BMI overweight, I yoyoed up and down and had trouble staying at my "perfect" weight. I tried most of the latest diets of the month over the years and decided I was going to take my normal eating style and make it work for me with logging. So far it has, as my weight is currently the lowest it's been in 15 years,and I'm only 6 lbs from my goal.
Am I being overly sensitive, or is this as rude and presumtuous as if feels to me?

queenliz99

I would delete so fast. Boom

misskarne

Yep. Flip 'em the bird and unfriend.

I am however intrigued by this diet that involves bacon and sausage three times a day. Yum!

JustMissTracy

I've had it happen a few times...As long as they aren't being rude I just try to be diplomatic and end the conversation. We all have to do this our own way, and I totally understand where you're coming from. When it happens in RL, I tend to just stay super quiet lately...I don't want to convert anyone else as much as I don't want them to convert me..lol

kissedbythesunshine

I had someone who did that to me. I immediately hit the delete friend button. Now I have a disclaimer on my page to not even send me a request if you're one of the stuck up people. You work your program and let me work mine. Unless of course I ask for help or post a rant.

whatatime2befit

I've lost over 80 lbs eating what I want in moderation. My diary is open too. If anyone ever commented id kindly say to myob, my journey is my own. They'd get one pass then unfriend if they continued to police me

seska422

Some people feel that an open diary is an invitation to comment on everything they feel is wrong with how you are eating.

I keep mine completely private. My way of eating is working for me and, unless I specifically ask for advice, it's not anyone else's business.

blankiefinder

Someone suggesting a fad diet is literally the fastest way off my friends list...

riffraff2112

I would never offer advice on someones diary unless they asked.
Some people think they know more than they do and feel the need to share their 'wisdom'.
DELETE

sunandmoons

Very rude!! Delete immediately!! buh-bye!!!

frankiesgirlie

I mean I think it the latest fad diet because I can't even tell you what it is really about, except when I look at their diary I see lots of meat and fat. I'm NoT judging but since I'm not a big meat eater I feel greasy just reading their diary, but I'd NEVER tell them that.LOL.

Lounmoun

Never had this happen to me.
You control who is on your friend list. Unfriend them.

Liftng4Lis

Delete them. The only time I ever say anything about someones diary, is if they are under eating consistently.

blankiefinder

Liftng4Lis wrote: »

Delete them. The only time I ever say anything about someones diary, is if they are under eating consistently.

Me too, and that is the other way off my list. Log 800 calories of lettuce, then post a 5 hour workout, and do that every day for months... yeah, no.

sunandmoons

frankiesgirlie wrote: »

I mean I think it the latest fad diet because I can't even tell you what it is really about, except when I look at their diary I see lots of meat and fat. I'm NoT judging but since I'm not a big meat eater I feel greasy just reading their diary, but I'd NEVER tell them that.LOL.

Right! Out of respect. I get that. Lol to greasy.

daniwilford

Some of my friends are people I have known in real life since for many years, one is a relative. I critique him occasionally, usually because he posts a really inflated burn. But all the others I try only to be supportive. Occasionally I will get a challenge, I am not interested in, but not like what you are referring too. I am not shy about giving "friends" the boot.

nutmegoreo

My reaction would depend on context and who was sending the message. Either a "thanks, but no thanks" or delete.

frankiesgirlie

I have deleted friends in the past, but only because I felt they were on MFP for every reason BUT weight loss, health & fitness. Oh, and one other time when s group of 3 had a lot of personal jokes. Must have been friends outside of MFP , also rude.

scolaris

That is weird! I would unfriend! I've unfriended a few people who tried to get me to subscribe to their newsletters etc. But the food police are news to me!

elphie754

This is why my diary is private, even to friends.

Bshmerlie

I eat junk food all the time....Pizza, burgers, burritos, you name it and I've never had anyone ever say a single thing about what I eat. If anyone ever did ...ohhh man stand back. They would regret that day. Then they would be deleated.

CrazyMermaid1

I've never had that happen. I occasionally see someone who had chocolate and post "you're my kind of folk". But no negative comments

frankiesgirlie

Oh yeah, I like my chocolate. I've had friends post " I see a lot of chocolate today" which cracks me up, cause they're gonna see chocolate tomorrow too. My feeling is that I never had any long term lasting results from Atkins, south beach, weight watchers, belly busters or any thing that made me fight eating the things I enjoy eating most. So I'm now trying to make my favorite foods fit in my calorie goal, I feel if I succeed then I have a better chance of making my weight loss long term. By the way, when I do hit my goal , I intend to stay on MFP through maintenance and forever probably.

melonaulait

I, like probably many others, used to carry SO much guilt when it comes to food, that there's just no point in trying to bring somebody even more down for their food/calorie choices. Kind of reminds me of bullying, actually.

I think the best diet is obviously the one you're already used to or one that you can carry on doing easily.

CoffeeNCardio

I just sent you a PM about your food OP (read it, I promise you will laugh)

blkandwhite77

I'd take the diary PM over the PMs hitting on you when your obviously married (my profile pic is my hubby and I) so disrespectful and not at al flattering even if that's their intent.

CoffeeNCardio

Also, if it gets rude.... save and forward to the mods. Then take advantage of the ONLY blocking that's available with MFP: message blocking:):):)

robertw486

frankiesgirlie wrote: »

I have an open food diary to my "friends". On 2 different occasions I've had people Personal message me to give me advice on what I should be eating. I'm not talking about the comments I've gotten when I complained about hitting a plateau, or when I expressed concern when I went on a sugar binge. To my thinking, if you post something about how you maybe didn't do well one day, you probably just have to accept that people will give food advice. But that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about someone that PMs me and says by the way...you'll lose weight a lot faster if you follow my crazy diet of the month where I eat bacon & sausage 3 times a day.
I don't knock anyone for trying something new, it's their health and their life, but my approach is a lot different this time and I don't appreciate people trying to "convert" me.
My background is that while I've never been BMI overweight, I yoyoed up and down and had trouble staying at my "perfect" weight. I tried most of the latest diets of the month over the years and decided I was going to take my normal eating style and make it work for me with logging. So far it has, as my weight is currently the lowest it's been in 15 years,and I'm only 6 lbs from my goal.
Am I being overly sensitive, or is this as rude and presumtuous as if feels to me?

I guess for me it would depend on the context. I'd probably just tell them I prefer my plan for a reason and leave it at that. If they continued I'd probably just block or delete them.

On the flip side, if I had someone view my dairy and give me creative input on something I've mentioned struggling with, it wouldn't bother me in the slightest. But to me I'd rather comment that I'm glad someone got some chocolate or tacos in and still reached goals.

Really the only time I think it would be appropriate to message someone about their diary is if they showed a consistent pattern of dangerously low calorie consumption or being severely deficient in nutrition in a certain area. And then it would be done with only a show of concern, and a great deal of tact.

frankiesgirlie

CoffeeNCardio wrote: »

I just sent you a PM about your food OP (read it, I promise you will laugh)

CoffeeNCardio. You are so funny. That's why you're one of my favorite friends. You would never tell me what I can and can't eat!!

frankiesgirlie

melonaulait wrote: »

I, like probably many others, used to carry SO much guilt when it comes to food, that there's just no point in trying to bring somebody even more down for their food/calorie choices. Kind of reminds me of bullying, actually.

I think the best diet is obviously the one you're already used to or one that you can carry on doing easily.

The point about bullying. I hadn't thought about that. I guess I did feel like I was kind of bullied or at least I felt intruded upon, if that makes sense.

frankiesgirlie

robertw486 wrote: »

frankiesgirlie wrote: »

I have an open food diary to my "friends". On 2 different occasions I've had people Personal message me to give me advice on what I should be eating. I'm not talking about the comments I've gotten when I complained about hitting a plateau, or when I expressed concern when I went on a sugar binge. To my thinking, if you post something about how you maybe didn't do well one day, you probably just have to accept that people will give food advice. But that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about someone that PMs me and says by the way...you'll lose weight a lot faster if you follow my crazy diet of the month where I eat bacon & sausage 3 times a day.
I don't knock anyone for trying something new, it's their health and their life, but my approach is a lot different this time and I don't appreciate people trying to "convert" me.
My background is that while I've never been BMI overweight, I yoyoed up and down and had trouble staying at my "perfect" weight. I tried most of the latest diets of the month over the years and decided I was going to take my normal eating style and make it work for me with logging. So far it has, as my weight is currently the lowest it's been in 15 years,and I'm only 6 lbs from my goal.
Am I being overly sensitive, or is this as rude and presumtuous as if feels to me?

I guess for me it would depend on the context. I'd probably just tell them I prefer my plan for a reason and leave it at that. If they continued I'd probably just block or delete them.

On the flip side, if I had someone view my dairy and give me creative input on something I've mentioned struggling with, it wouldn't bother me in the slightest. But to me I'd rather comment that I'm glad someone got some chocolate or tacos in and still reached goals.

Really the only time I think it would be appropriate to message someone about their diary is if they showed a consistent pattern of dangerously low calorie consumption or being severely deficient in nutrition in a certain area. And then it would be done with only a show of concern, and a great deal of tact.

I totally agree about the comment to someone that managed to eat something yummy and still reached goal. We've all seen the saying On MFP "whoever eats the most and loses weight wins".But also what about who eats the yummiest stuff and loses weight wins also.LOL.
I don't feel there is a one size fits all for making weight loss work here. I know it all boils down to CICO, but how you work out for yourself the way to make that happen is completely individual. But I would never give advice unless a person asked.
Like when someone posts complaining about how hard this is and they are not even close to eating enough calories, I feel obligated to point it out.