Dealing with FOOD DIARY police
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natboosh69 wrote: »frankiesgirlie wrote: »natboosh69 wrote: »Why not just ignore them and get on with it?
Because it's much more fun and healthy to vent...
IMO it's healthier to not care what strangers on the internet have to say about your own business.[/
Funny you'd say that, because to my family and friends I'm known as being tough. So it's not so much that I care or that it hurts my feelings or anything else like that, that's for sure. It's that I have a very low bull stink threshold and I will speak up when I feel it's needed. Trust me, I didn't lose any sleep over it.
But you know what, I know at least one person that did lose sleep over it. One of my "friends" who seems to be nothing but sweet and upbeat on MFP had another one of our friends berate her for her calorie goal being so high. I stuck up for the 1st friend first off because the rudeness of the post was uncalled for and also the poster didn't have all the info. This woman is over 6 ft tall (6'2" I think) and weighs over 200 lbs, so of course her calorie goal is going to be much higher than most women's. I don't take sh--t and don't like when other people get it tossed at them. My friend that got bullied stayed off of MFP for a week because she got her feelings hurt. That pisses me off. Sorry, but being indifferent is not my style. I live with passion.0 -
Yes. Same tone in some of the messages I've seen to others. I may end up deleting that feature. I'm a big ole empathic, so I suck up feelings as it is. Even when it's not directed at me, I can feel the abuse.I[/quote]MarcyKirkton wrote: »quote]
Listening to a little rudeness on the forum is one thing. Getting messages to your private inbox is another.
I know people like you. Extreme empathy. You are the poets of the world.❤️❤️0 -
Thankfully I don't really get unsupportive comments. Usually if anyone comments, it's to say that something sounded tasty (it was).
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Wow... that's borderline insane. They need to find a better hobby, or go on facebook.
Yep, I would delete so fast they wouldn't have a chance to say "bacon". Some believe that they rule the food world.
Mmm... bacon.
Whatever, I'll what I want.
On that note... I am looking for friends so that I can PM and give crappy advice to.
Yeah?
Oh, wait.
NVM.
Amen to that!!frankiesgirlie wrote: »natboosh69 wrote: »Why not just ignore them and get on with it?
Because it's much more fun and healthy to vent...
Edit: pre-coffee post.
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I just don't understand people who take the time and energy to be proactively critical about someone else's food diary. Maybe if one of my friends were drinking Windex I might say something (but I probably wouldn't know anyway, because I don't just randomly read their diaries for no reason). Ain't nobody got time for that.0
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I just don't understand people who take the time and energy to be proactively critical about someone else's food diary. Maybe if one of my friends were drinking Windex I might say something (but I probably wouldn't know anyway, because I don't just randomly read their diaries for no reason). Ain't nobody got time for that.
Drinking Windex...LOL...epic!!0 -
tracyannk28 wrote: »blkandwhite77 wrote: »I'd take the diary PM over the PMs hitting on you when your obviously married (my profile pic is my hubby and I) so disrespectful and not at al flattering even if that's their intent.
Or the PM's from married men looking for an online sexting partner. Just ewe!! I actually stopped logging onto MFP for months because of all the married perverts.
Moving on to the OP: I'd delete anyone who'd send me a negative PM about my food diary without my asking for advice or something. To be honest, I never look at anyone's food diary's unless they post a question about it.
I never get these. I am starting to feel offended/unattractive. :laugh:0 -
There is not enough time in my day to care about what other people eat. The only times I've ever looked in friends' diaries were to get meal ideas from fellow vegetarians.
Unsolicited advice is always rude, no matter what topic it concerns. I'd delete anyone I wasn't related to from my life who offered it to me. I'd do the same here on MFP.0 -
i haven't dealt with it on here, but one of my friends on facebook sent me a PM about her wonderful exercise/weight loss program, after i posted about an amazing run i just went on.... i almost deleted her but she hasn't bothered me since. HOWEVER if it persists, definitely delete!0
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tell them to feck off and then delete them...EZPZ0
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tracyannk28 wrote: »blkandwhite77 wrote: »I'd take the diary PM over the PMs hitting on you when your obviously married (my profile pic is my hubby and I) so disrespectful and not at al flattering even if that's their intent.
Or the PM's from married men looking for an online sexting partner. Just ewe!! I actually stopped logging onto MFP for months because of all the married perverts.
Moving on to the OP: I'd delete anyone who'd send me a negative PM about my food diary without my asking for advice or something. To be honest, I never look at anyone's food diary's unless they post a question about it.
I never get these. I am starting to feel offended/unattractive. :laugh:
All it takes is one or 2 posts in the Chit Chat forum and they come out in droves. I stopped accepting friend requests from the opposite sex entirely lololol
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tracyannk28 wrote: »tracyannk28 wrote: »blkandwhite77 wrote: »I'd take the diary PM over the PMs hitting on you when your obviously married (my profile pic is my hubby and I) so disrespectful and not at al flattering even if that's their intent.
Or the PM's from married men looking for an online sexting partner. Just ewe!! I actually stopped logging onto MFP for months because of all the married perverts.
Moving on to the OP: I'd delete anyone who'd send me a negative PM about my food diary without my asking for advice or something. To be honest, I never look at anyone's food diary's unless they post a question about it.
I never get these. I am starting to feel offended/unattractive. :laugh:
All it takes is one or 2 posts in the Chit Chat forum and they come out in droves. I stopped accepting friend requests from the opposite sex entirely lololol
If I didn't accept requests from the opposite sex I would have a tiny friends list indeed. Either this site is mainly women or guys just don't dig the tophat and steampunk glasses
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You can be more selective or delete. I have had ONE person mention something weird about food and she was gone in a flash. It was even less about my intake and more about what one should or should not eat.0
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So... Is this like one of those "things that make you irrationally angry" threads? It's just a food/diet suggestion on a diet and exercise website, so...0
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rankinsect wrote: »tracyannk28 wrote: »tracyannk28 wrote: »blkandwhite77 wrote: »I'd take the diary PM over the PMs hitting on you when your obviously married (my profile pic is my hubby and I) so disrespectful and not at al flattering even if that's their intent.
Or the PM's from married men looking for an online sexting partner. Just ewe!! I actually stopped logging onto MFP for months because of all the married perverts.
Moving on to the OP: I'd delete anyone who'd send me a negative PM about my food diary without my asking for advice or something. To be honest, I never look at anyone's food diary's unless they post a question about it.
I never get these. I am starting to feel offended/unattractive. :laugh:
All it takes is one or 2 posts in the Chit Chat forum and they come out in droves. I stopped accepting friend requests from the opposite sex entirely lololol
If I didn't accept requests from the opposite sex I would have a tiny friends list indeed. Either this site is mainly women or guys just don't dig the tophat and steampunk glasses
I guess they just don't get your swag
I should probably clarify - if it's a guy who I've interacted with on a forum who seems cool I'll accept his friend request. But when it comes to my FL I'd rather have quality, not quantity.
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ohmscheeks wrote: »So... Is this like one of those "things that make you irrationally angry" threads? It's just a food/diet suggestion on a diet and exercise website, so...
Who asked.0 -
ohmscheeks wrote: »So... Is this like one of those "things that make you irrationally angry" threads? It's just a food/diet suggestion on a diet and exercise website, so...
I don't walk up to people in a restaurant and tell them what to eat. Should I? It's just rude.0 -
Me being me, my first thought would be that they are just trying to help, give me some suggestions- if they are private messaging me it's just probably important to them that I read their message because they think their suggestion is golden and can really benefit me, that's all. It is myfitnesspal after all and isn't that we add people as friends? To help each other out with suggestions ect? I wouldn't think off the bat that these people are being nasty to me.
Not saying you're not entitled to how you feel, just got a different view on it.
Couldn't agree more.0 -
It is rude and presumptuous, assuming you don't have a prior relationship of discussing food choices with the person. My next step would be to unfriend/block. Which is what I do when people seem to be using their feed/friend's list to sell something or build their downline.frankiesgirlie wrote: »I have an open food diary to my "friends". On 2 different occasions I've had people Personal message me to give me advice on what I should be eating. I'm not talking about the comments I've gotten when I complained about hitting a plateau, or when I expressed concern when I went on a sugar binge. To my thinking, if you post something about how you maybe didn't do well one day, you probably just have to accept that people will give food advice. But that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about someone that PMs me and says by the way...you'll lose weight a lot faster if you follow my crazy diet of the month where I eat bacon & sausage 3 times a day.
I don't knock anyone for trying something new, it's their health and their life, but my approach is a lot different this time and I don't appreciate people trying to "convert" me.
My background is that while I've never been BMI overweight, I yoyoed up and down and had trouble staying at my "perfect" weight. I tried most of the latest diets of the month over the years and decided I was going to take my normal eating style and make it work for me with logging. So far it has, as my weight is currently the lowest it's been in 15 years,and I'm only 6 lbs from my goal.
Am I being overly sensitive, or is this as rude and presumtuous as if feels to me?
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Not really about food police but...
I've deleted someone for pushing beach body on all thier friends and adding mine., creating groups under the home page. Giving guidance and goals using that specific product..Pushing free exercises, then on certain goals, having to purchase the product to finish the last few so called phases. Pissed me off.
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kshama2001 wrote: »tracyannk28 wrote: »blkandwhite77 wrote: »I'd take the diary PM over the PMs hitting on you when your obviously married (my profile pic is my hubby and I) so disrespectful and not at al flattering even if that's their intent.
Or the PM's from married men looking for an online sexting partner. Just ewe!! I actually stopped logging onto MFP for months because of all the married perverts.
Replace your avatar with a picture of kale. Married perverts apparently have no interest in kale.
<---- or my ratatouille either!0 -
And thats why my food diary is closed.0
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Me being me, my first thought would be that they are just trying to help, give me some suggestions- if they are private messaging me it's just probably important to them that I read their message because they think their suggestion is golden and can really benefit me, that's all. It is myfitnesspal after all and isn't that we add people as friends? To help each other out with suggestions ect?
It depends on the tenor of your friend group, to be honest. I certainly don't add people as friends so they can criticize how I eat; most of the people I interact with on my FL on a regular basis talk about exercise with each other, not food. Plus, you're jumping to a lot of conclusions if you just assume that your random suggestion would be in any way helpful. For example, I'm bulking right now. If any of my friends randomly messaged me and told me to stop eating dessert, it would not only be rude, but it would be the absolute worst advice they could give for my individual set of circumstances.0 -
MorganMoreaux wrote: »Me being me, my first thought would be that they are just trying to help, give me some suggestions- if they are private messaging me it's just probably important to them that I read their message because they think their suggestion is golden and can really benefit me, that's all. It is myfitnesspal after all and isn't that we add people as friends? To help each other out with suggestions ect? I wouldn't think off the bat that these people are being nasty to me.
Not saying you're not entitled to how you feel, just got a different view on it.
Couldn't agree more.
I understand what you are saying, but unless one of my friends asks for help, which I have asked for ideas or help on occasion, it is presumptuous for me to give unsolicited advice. You're going along feeling all good and proud of yourself and someone comes out of the wood work and says THIS is how you do it better. Since you already feel good about what you are doing, and are proud of your results, the advice is not necessarily welcome. Especially from a new "friend" that you haven't established a PM relationship with. It's like you going to the make up counter to buy blush and the girl saying "no,no, no let me show you how to do your makeup". If you are happy with how you do your makeup and have not ASKED for help, then wouldn't you be annoyed? Plus I think it irked me because what they were promoting was the latest diet de jour, which in my experience means losing the weight now only to gain it back once your resolve to follow this stringent eating plan wears thin.
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None of my friends have ever posted anything negative about my food diary, I'm surprised though as it is full of vodka and Mars ice cream bars lol
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I am perfectly fine with receiving unsolicited advice/constructive criticism, but never ever arrogance/ridicule. Mainly because sometimes we don't even know, if we need help and/or some are too shy, to ask for it; even if they aren't in denial about them needing it.
On a previous account, I had some great friends but I also had some that were overly critical & not in a constructive criticism type of way either. They were most critical of my food choices, even though most of the time; I was within my caloric deficit but I also explained why my food choices were, what they had been. 1st I had "unhealthy" leftovers from the Christmas/New Year's holidays, I guess I was just suppose to throw them away. My 2nd incident happened when, I had gone grocery shopping & forgot to buy the lunch meat, for my 2 loaves of rye bread because the weather was awful, I didn't know when I'd be able to go get the lunch meat; so I just ate the bread for approximately 4 days. I guess I was just suppose to let them go to waste & yeah I did explain each day, on my food diary; why I was consuming only "junk" or bread but that still didn't quell the shaming. So that's why, I keep everything private.0 -
VykkDraygoVPR wrote: »ohmscheeks wrote: »So... Is this like one of those "things that make you irrationally angry" threads? It's just a food/diet suggestion on a diet and exercise website, so...
I don't walk up to people in a restaurant and tell them what to eat. Should I? It's just rude.
That's different.
How? It's no different. Unless someone asks for your advice beforehand, it's exactly the same.0 -
I didn't like the food police either--I keep my diary private and use updates to tell people if I cooked something new or different. I use my FL mostly for motivation and support and I don't think they need to be lurking my diary and then providing unsolicited "constructive" criticism.0
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Me being me, my first thought would be that they are just trying to help, give me some suggestions- if they are private messaging me it's just probably important to them that I read their message because they think their suggestion is golden and can really benefit me, that's all. It is myfitnesspal after all and isn't that we add people as friends? To help each other out with suggestions ect? I wouldn't think off the bat that these people are being nasty to me.
Not saying you're not entitled to how you feel, just got a different view on it.
That's not why I add people as friends. I add people that I connect with in the forums, or that are also on mutual friends lists. Most of my friends are because of common personality types (sarcastic sense of humor, etc). I find many of them very supportive and motivational, but unless I ask them for suggestions about something, then no, I don't actually expect them to offer any input on my food choices, my exercise, etc.
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frankiesgirlie wrote: »MorganMoreaux wrote: »Me being me, my first thought would be that they are just trying to help, give me some suggestions- if they are private messaging me it's just probably important to them that I read their message because they think their suggestion is golden and can really benefit me, that's all. It is myfitnesspal after all and isn't that we add people as friends? To help each other out with suggestions ect? I wouldn't think off the bat that these people are being nasty to me.
Not saying you're not entitled to how you feel, just got a different view on it.
Couldn't agree more.
I understand what you are saying, but unless one of my friends asks for help, which I have asked for ideas or help on occasion, it is presumptuous for me to give unsolicited advice. You're going along feeling all good and proud of yourself and someone comes out of the wood work and says THIS is how you do it better. Since you already feel good about what you are doing, and are proud of your results, the advice is not necessarily welcome. Especially from a new "friend" that you haven't established a PM relationship with. It's like you going to the make up counter to buy blush and the girl saying "no,no, no let me show you how to do your makeup". If you are happy with how you do your makeup and have not ASKED for help, then wouldn't you be annoyed? Plus I think it irked me because what they were promoting was the latest diet de jour, which in my experience means losing the weight now only to gain it back once your resolve to follow this stringent eating plan wears thin.
I'm always open to suggestions. Sometime people provide valid feedback, and I look into. Sometimes it may not be applicable or helpful, and I thank them and then disregard it. I don't take it offensively when people volunteer suggestions. As far as make-up advice, or hair, or fashion, feel free to offer advice, I love trying new things. Just because they are offering advice doesn't automatically mean what I am currently doing looks bad or is wrong. Some of my favourite make-up tips have come unsolicited, I'm very happy I wasn't just offended and dismissive. I am always open to learning new things and new perspectives. If there's a better way awesome - it wouldn't nullify or discount what I am presently doing - it would be bonus.
ETA: if someone is being rude or condescending, than that's a different matter and I would just delete/ignore them, but I haven't encountered that yet.0
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