Dealing with FOOD DIARY police
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frankiesgirlie wrote: »WinoGelato wrote: »I've never had anyone do this to me, the only comments I ever get, or make, are things like, "dinner sounds yummy!" Or "red wine and white wine? Couldn't make up your mind?"
I do have a theory about this though. Did you gain these friends through one of the solicitation posts on the forums? You know, "Seeking Friends With Open Diaries" or "Looking For Supportive Friends"? I've always wondered if people connect through those kind of posts if they think it gives them the right to comment on what others eat?
No I didn't. I send requests to people who seem funny, supportive of others, or who I think have similar lives. Sometimes I friend request because we are women of similar age.
I generally accept all friends requests unless their photos turns me off. No bro six packs. No boobs pushed together in a seductive pose.
I figure, see how the new friend works out, because you can always delete later.
Yeah that's how I am too, I just always wonder when I see posts like yours why people think unsolicited comments about what others are eating are appropriate!
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I just had this happen to me recently! My "friend" made an unsolicited comment about something in my diary. Her diary is not open, so I can't even return the favour!0
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LOL..WE are the REAL housewives of MFP!0
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I believe the phrase you're looking for is, "eat me."0
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I hope the people who messaged you see this thread lol.0
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frankiesgirlie wrote: »EvgeniZyntx wrote: »
OMG...how did a housewife end up on my thread!!!I believe the phrase you're looking for is, "eat me."
Good one!! I haven't used that phrase since I think the 80s. Time to dust it off and put it back in rotation. So now my two new catch phrases are "eat me" and "eatin' ain't cheatin'"...anybody remember that one??0 -
Why not just ignore them and get on with it?0
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natboosh69 wrote: »Why not just ignore them and get on with it?
Because it's much more fun and healthy to vent...0 -
I would delete them, we are here to support each other, not tell each other how and what to eat, exercise etc, unless you are asking.0
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It's all gooood....I just posted a loss!! Small one, but since I'm on my last 6 lbs they are all small. Wooo Hooo!!0
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Oh yes, been there and got those weird messages
I put snickers candy bars for breakfast in mine when I go on bike rides
Maybe 2 of them.
And if it is a Long 50-60 mile ride, I may eat a whole small pizza for late lunch.
I work my diet and exercise as works best for me. If someone wants to hang with me on a Saturday and ride 50 miles then jump off the bike and run 10, I will listen to their diet advice if they can follow it at my activity level
People just don't think sometimes. Maybe not so much rude as unthinking
I don't know
I quit with the public food diary and all that. No benefit to it.
I don't think pushy ever works out good.0 -
This is a rough situation when it comes to having friends on MFP. I would never ever comment on someone's diary in a negative way if they had what is considered to be "junk" food. I indulge as well and everyone has the right to. I "like" everyone's diary completion status whether they are over, under, or right at their calorie goal. As long as my friends are active and not hurting themselves to lose weight, I'm happy to be their friend and encourage them through good days and bad ones.
On the other hand, I have a few friends that I'm worried about because they rarely exercise, if at all, which is fine, but then they only net 500-900 calories, then post statuses a few days later about how they are so hungry or binged or screwed up this week. I want to comment that they're not eating enough and it's going to be detrimental to their weight loss, but then I don't want to upset anyone so I leave it alone. I eventually comment if they post a status asking for advice, but other than that I don't say anything at all.
I've only had one or two comments on my diary that were somewhat negative, one being "wow, chocolate filled day!" Yes, I can have chocolate if I want to. It makes me cringe too because the people who do it don't hold a candle to my level of fitness or progress and are actually doing a lot of things I can critique, but choose not to.
Another user commented on getting PMs from people hitting on them. I've had that a few times and I can't stand it. I even had one guy who was not my friend message me asking to trade photos. I don't really post on Chit Chat or any off-topic forums here where people post selfies, so I don't why he had the audacity to ask me that. I'm here for one reason and dating is not it. My friends list is 95% women; the men I've kept are either married and/or couldn't care less about me in that way.0 -
Ahaha!!!
The Red Dinner...
[/quote]
Yes!
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Working2BLean wrote: »Oh yes, been there and got those weird messages
I put snickers candy bars for breakfast in mine when I go on bike rides
Maybe 2 of them.
And if it is a Long 50-60 mile ride, I may eat a whole small pizza for late lunch.
I work my diet and exercise as works best for me. If someone wants to hang with me on a Saturday and ride 50 miles then jump off the bike and run 10, I will listen to their diet advice if they can follow it at my activity level
People just don't think sometimes. Maybe not so much rude as unthinking
I don't know
I quit with the public food diary and all that. No benefit to it.
I don't think pushy ever works out good.
I agree. I don't think these two people who messaged me(who by the way are on the same trendy plan) think they are being pushy or rude, but for them to basically chastise me for eating 4 Hershey's nuggets is ridiculous in my mind. I look at other peoples diaries and shake my head because I believe Americans rely too heavily on animal meat in their diet, so when I see 3 meals in a day with various red meats in them I CRINGE. BUT I would NEVER comment on it to them. Plus, I believe weight loss and fitness has so many variations and is completely individual. I just wish others realized that while it's their way does not mean it's my way or should ever be my way!!
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I really don't get looking at other people's diaries. Seems like a lack of boundaries in my mind.0
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blkandwhite77 wrote: »I'd take the diary PM over the PMs hitting on you when your obviously married (my profile pic is my hubby and I) so disrespectful and not at al flattering even if that's their intent.
Or the PM's from married men looking for an online sexting partner. Just ewe!! I actually stopped logging onto MFP for months because of all the married perverts.
Moving on to the OP: I'd delete anyone who'd send me a negative PM about my food diary without my asking for advice or something. To be honest, I never look at anyone's food diary's unless they post a question about it.
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I would delete as well. Also there are several of my friends, like myself that have open diaries and I have never thought once to look at anyone else's. ..idk I find it weird, let alone actually pm someone about what they are eating.0
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MarcyKirkton wrote: »I really don't get looking at other people's diaries. Seems like a lack of boundaries in my mind.
There's some good reasons to do it. For me, because I've been box-fed all my life, I've had to look at other people's diaries to get an idea of what to even eat. Wasn't 2 weeks ago I was on the recipes board asking for advice because I sat down and couldn't write down 5 dinners that didn't include Hamburger Helper or Macaroni and Cheese. I've never had to know, and I certainly wasn't getting that info from the parentals so looking at diaries has given me some good ideas of what to start cooking. I can figure out the HOW to cook part. It's the knowing WHAT to cook that got me. When you've never been served nutrient dense food like Salmon and Broccoli, you're brain doesn't jump right to "I'll make salmon and broccoli" unless someone suggests it to you. That and it helps to see "oh my god look how large a portion of noms you got to have for so few calories, I'll be making THAT tonight". I would never ask someone to open their diary so I could snoop and copy their recipes (I would totally ask if they were asking about plateaus or logging issues), but if your diary is open, I'm assuming you don't care if people see it. If you did care, that's what the "private" setting is for. No boundary issues if people adequately use their settings tab.0 -
CoffeeNCardio wrote: »MarcyKirkton wrote: »I really don't get looking at other people's diaries. Seems like a lack of boundaries in my mind.
There's some good reasons to do it. For me, because I've been box-fed all my life, I've had to look at other people's diaries to get an idea of what to even eat. Wasn't 2 weeks ago I was on the recipes board asking for advice because I sat down and couldn't write down 5 dinners that didn't include Hamburger Helper or Macaroni and Cheese. I've never had to know, and I certainly wasn't getting that info from the parentals so looking at diaries has given me some good ideas of what to start cooking. I can figure out the HOW to cook part. It's the knowing WHAT to cook that got me. When you've never been served nutrient dense food like Salmon and Broccoli, you're brain doesn't jump right to "I'll make salmon and broccoli" unless someone suggests it to you. That and it helps to see "oh my god look how large a portion of noms you got to have for so few calories, I'll be making THAT tonight". I would never ask someone to open their diary so I could snoop and copy their recipes (I would totally ask if they were asking about plateaus or logging issues), but if your diary is open, I'm assuming you don't care if people see it. If you did care, that's what the "private" setting is for. No boundary issues if people adequately use their settings tab.
Interrsting. I admit I really just added friends and find the comments in general tmi or intrusive.
Just me.0 -
frankiesgirlie wrote: »natboosh69 wrote: »Why not just ignore them and get on with it?
Because it's much more fun and healthy to vent...
IMO it's healthier to not care what strangers on the internet have to say about your own business.0 -
natboosh69 wrote: »frankiesgirlie wrote: »natboosh69 wrote: »Why not just ignore them and get on with it?
Because it's much more fun and healthy to vent...
IMO it's healthier to not care what strangers on the internet have to say about your own business.
Listening to a little rudeness on the forum is one thing. Getting messages to your private inbox is another.0 -
I'll just be honest... the bacon and sausage diet sounds pretty damn awesome. I'm half way there today. Sausage for breakfast, and lunch... and for supper, I was thinking about doing bacon wrapped pork loin, or sweet potatoes and bacon, with a side of chicken wings.
Does it count if I add bread, snap peas, and other miscellaneous non bacon/sausage foods? I want to get it right.0 -
This is exactly why I am the only one who can see my diary.
Unless I was specifically asked, I would never comment on someone else's. It blows my mind that people would do that.0 -
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Listening to a little rudeness on the forum is one thing. Getting messages to your private inbox is another. [/quote]
Yes. Same tone in some of the messages I've seen to others. I may end up deleting that feature. I'm a big ole empathic, so I suck up feelings as it is. Even when it's not directed at me, I can feel the abuse.I0 -
MarcyKirkton wrote: »I really don't get looking at other people's diaries. Seems like a lack of boundaries in my mind.
Absent a request for help, I'm just not interested. I get most of my inspiration from my American's Test Kitchen email subscription and my Joy of Cooking and other favorite cookbooks.
The only diary I look at from my friend's list is someone who chronically undereats. I've stopped blindly Liking people's diary completion statuses.0 -
tracyannk28 wrote: »blkandwhite77 wrote: »I'd take the diary PM over the PMs hitting on you when your obviously married (my profile pic is my hubby and I) so disrespectful and not at al flattering even if that's their intent.
Or the PM's from married men looking for an online sexting partner. Just ewe!! I actually stopped logging onto MFP for months because of all the married perverts.
Replace your avatar with a picture of kale. Married perverts apparently have no interest in kale.
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MarcyKirkton wrote: »I really don't get looking at other people's diaries. Seems like a lack of boundaries in my mind.
I look at other people's diaries. I figure, if they didn't want me to look then at it then they would set it to private. I'm a very routine person with my eating habits, and not very creative so it's nice to get ideas. I also like to see how people are achieving their macros because I always struggle with protien (I'm not a fan of meat, I'll eat chicken if I've been consecutively low on protien, but I don't like the taste of any of it, and am very allergic to eggs and milk). I never thought of it as being nosy. I also return the favour and share my diary with friends. If people see that I like chocolate who cares. If they want to judge me for it LMAO! There are worse things to be than a chocolate lover lol.
ETA - to the posters that have referenced being hit on. Yeah, seriously guys need to realize this isn't a dating site. I recently accepted a friend request from a guy I thought may have been hitting on me, but gave him the benefit of the doubt until I started getting daily pm's that were just creepy. Never responded and deleted him as a friend after the second one (again, gave the benefit of the doubt to the first one that maybe he sent it to the wrong person). Weird.0 -
kshama2001 wrote: »tracyannk28 wrote: »blkandwhite77 wrote: »I'd take the diary PM over the PMs hitting on you when your obviously married (my profile pic is my hubby and I) so disrespectful and not at al flattering even if that's their intent.
Or the PM's from married men looking for an online sexting partner. Just ewe!! I actually stopped logging onto MFP for months because of all the married perverts.
Replace your avatar with a picture of kale. Married perverts apparently have no interest in kale.
Lol, I think it probably has more to do with your "Takes no ****" vibe than your avatar:) I humbly worship the vibe0 -
I have had no creepy messages. Almost feel left out. Almost!0
This discussion has been closed.
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