strip club question??...

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Replies

  • Posts: 207 Member
    I wouldn't want my spouse looking elsewhere, it's more the fact if he's got money to burn then why not spend it together!

    I remember having a very long argument with my ex about his going to strip clubs - his reason for wanting to go was to be able to just talk to girls without having to give them the money. If they continue to stay and talk then that meant he was interesting and would help build his confidence.

    When I told him that was bull (lets be honest, you go to a strip bar to see some boobies), he said that I was always undermining his confidence and that I should be more supportive as he tries to build himself........

    huh??
  • Posts: 6,833 Member

    Will there be jello?

    Food fight? Yum!
  • Posts: 713 Member
    Just because you have pictures and paintings in your own home doesn't mean you never go to an art gallery or museum, right? In my mind, it's okay to look...just don't touch, please! I used to be one of those girls who would get all jealous and upset over this. Now, I could care less, as long as he's not hiding it.
  • Posts: 275
    I'd find it hilarious.
    My husband is a very quiet and keep to himself type of person, I'd pay for a dance for him just to see his face lol

    Why would your hubby need to go to a strip club? You have more and in better proportions than what he will see there....

    just sayin'
  • Posts: 1,252 Member
    I don't really care at all, but I'd rather know. Last time my partner went out with 'drinks for work' she said she was on her way home and 2 hours later she told me where she'd been and I wasn't happy about not knowing, but the lap dance part I could care less about.
  • Posts: 976 Member
    I would be disappointed to see him supporting organized crime.
  • Posts: 501 Member
    I rarely go to a club, unless I'm on some kind of Bike rally. My wife doesn't mind if the guys go to a strip club. She's gone with us a couple times. As for a Lap Dance -- never had one; never will. If I want a lap dance, my wife will give me one.

    Not paying some stripper $20 to rub up against me.

    Good answer! *thumbs up lol
  • Posts: 1,854 Member
    My brother and I were once on vacation and looking for a bar with a TV to watch a football game. The closest place was a strip bar! We actually kept asking the dancers to get out of the way of the TV.

    That was a long time ago. At my age (60) going to a strip bar to watch young girls would feel really, really creepy.
  • I must be prude...haha i'd be pissed!!! :explode:

    mystczi - i agree haha

    I was starting to think I was the only one who would be unhappy. We did not commit to each other so he could go get a lap dance from a stranger. We have talked about going together, but haven't yet. I have a hard time asking for a babysitter for this. :laugh:
  • Posts: 1,166 Member
    I love how this or similar questions come out about once a week!

    You have the "If you are secure, you wouldn't care!" crew jump on the band wagon within 15 minutes....

    Call me old fashioned, but I wasn't raised that way. It has nothing to do with secure/insecure, jealousy, etc. It doesn't matter how mature or immature my relationship is.

    It is purely out of respect.

    Not saying your wrong for letting your husbands/wives oogle at another woman/man, and I am not saying I am right for not. I am saying you are wrong when you throw, "it is all out of insecurity and jealousy" out there...
  • The comments about getting an appetite from the show but coming home so it's ok made me think of the lines from Devil's Advocate,
    Look but don't touch.

    Touch, but don't taste.

    Taste, don't swallow.
  • Posts: 960 Member
    I'd find it hilarious.
    My husband is a very quiet and keep to himself type of person, I'd pay for a dance for him just to see his face lol

    This! My fiance is an uber geek and painfully shy, this would be hilarious!
  • Posts: 679 Member
    If I am not going too, then only to a strip club I approve. I have not been married, but I am going to say no lap dances. That includes dollar dances if I am not there.
  • hell no
  • Posts: 315 Member
    How would you feel about your spouse going to a strip club and possibly getting a lap dance.. just curious to see how people feel about it :smile:

    First I'd wonder what alien inhabited my husband's body. Then I'd be pissed he'd give another woman his hard-earned money. If anyone's going to get paid to grind on my husband, it's going to be me. Keep that paycheck in the family. :tongue:
  • Posts: 2,833 Member
    He has no interest at all in that sort of thing. Never did. And if Angelina Jolie sat in his lap stark naked there would be no reaction, so that's a non issue. If he, by some miracle, DID react to a lap dance, I would be overjoyed, both for his sake and mine ( trickle-down effect). What WOULD bother me is if he was drinking...he is diabetic, so he can't and doesn't drink any alcohol.
  • Posts: 4,251 Member
    I used to want to be the "cool GF and cool wife" so much with my ex, that I saw and let a bunch of scuzzy things happen at those places right in front of me.
    I was an idiot.

    Anyways I'm not nearly as interested in being cool, and much more interested in being honest with myself so I don't get hurt.

    I don't mind him going if he pleases(he really doesn't) but for this time, I'm not comfortable with lapdances. That may change with time, I'm sure.
  • Posts: 1,337 Member
    I will probably get flamed for this, but --

    A month ago, I took a lap dancing workshop to learn how to give a lap dance. I did it to make myself feel sexier. While the actual dance CAN be intimate, there are probably some things that everyone should know about lap dancing that might be worth sharing.

    It is all about the tease, and nothing about "cheating" or "touching". At no time is the woman performing the dance allowed to touch the man's privates with her hands, NOR is there any undressing allowed or hands on by the man allowed.

    Does she actually rub herself against the man during the "lap dance" portion? Yes. but, the actual lap dancing is about a 1 minute part of the routine. The average length of the routine is about 3 minutes in total. And trust me, it was a HARD routine. My thighs were burning midway through as I tried to balance myself on 4 inch heels.

    Would I allow my husband to get a lap dance? Yeah, probably. Because those girls aren't doing it to find a man willing to cheat on his lady, they're just doing it for the money. Reputable lap dancers are 'strictly professional". It really is all about "the tease" and the power of a woman.

    And by the way, the art of seduction through dance has been going on for thousands of years. Ever watch a belly dancer do her routine? That's one of the sexiest forms of dancing I've ever seen, and one of the hardest dances to learn how to do. I've tried it, and I'm drenched in sweat within seconds.

    ETA: If the man is uncomfortable with the idea, he shouldn't be there. If the man grows uncomfortable with the intimacy that is building, the woman should be told and she should back off. There is a lot of stuff that can be done without the need for grinding on the guy's lap.
  • Posts: 2,518 Member
    No, I don't want my husband going to a strip club. He knows how I feel about that. Absolutely no way on a lap dance. I don't share, never have and never will. Fortunately, he respects my feelings, so it's never been an issue.
  • Posts: 867 Member
    I don't mind where my wife gets her appetite from, so long as she gets her root vegetables from home.
  • Posts: 276 Member
    this actually just happened to me and all my friends thought i was crazy because i was angry. i just figure if he has me, why does he need to look at and get turned on by anyone else?
  • Posts: 129 Member
    It depends - I've been to the strip club numerous times with and without my husband. I think they are good clean fun (at times) - but I also was friends with a stripper who said that a lot of the strippers will try and be sketchy with married men - she even told me that they'd give *kitten* and such during a lap dance just for extra cash (especially with the married men).

    My husband got a free HJ (before we were dating) from a stripper during a lap dance once (terrible mistake telling me about it).

    There is a thin line between having a good time and sketchy strippers trying to make some extra dough.

    So in conclusion my husband and I have an agreement now – after hearing all the nasty things that certain strippers do. I don’t care if he goes to the strip club, but lap dances are off limits unless I’m there…

    (Obviously I know not all strippers are nastly like my friend had described, but I’m just saying the ones around where I live, they aren’t anything special)
  • Posts: 1,893 Member
    I would not care as long as he told me about it. If he tried to sneak around and hide it I wouldn't be happy. Hopefully he would have invited me to come along.
  • Posts: 1,881 Member
    I'd go with him & pay for his lap dance
  • Posts: 1,337 Member
    It depends - I've been to the strip club numerous times with and without my husband. I think they are good clean fun (at times) - but I also was friends with a stripper who said that a lot of the strippers will try and be sketchy with married men - she even told me that they'd give *kitten* and such during a lap dance just for extra cash (especially with the married men).

    My husband got a free HJ (before we were dating) from a stripper during a lap dance once (terrible mistake telling me about it).

    There is a thin line between having a good time and sketchy strippers trying to make some extra dough.

    So in conclusion my husband and I have an agreement now – after hearing all the nasty things that certain strippers do. I don’t care if he goes to the strip club, but lap dances are off limits unless I’m there…

    (Obviously I know not all strippers are nastly like my friend had described, but I’m just saying the ones around where I live, they aren’t anything special)

    Again, this may sound weird, but a good dancer doesn't need to take it to the next level to make money. I find that whole idea disgusting. I think it should remain strictly business, and no touching, no sexual acts, no anything inappropriate, should occur. I'm sure a LOT of the strippers in the strip club make extra bucks doing things they shouldn't, but that's management's responsibility to keep things on the up and up. Also, the lap dancer/stripper should remain clothed.
  • Posts: 5,573 Member
    I've gone with friends and exes. I've even gotten lap dances.
  • Posts: 1,190 Member
    As long as I get one for every one he gets I'm good! Honestly the female form is very arousing and pleasing.
  • Posts: 143 Member
    i will send him to the best one and give him money
  • Posts: 988 Member
    I will probably get flamed for this, but --

    A month ago, I took a lap dancing workshop to learn how to give a lap dance. I did it to make myself feel sexier. While the actual dance CAN be intimate, there are probably some things that everyone should know about lap dancing that might be worth sharing.

    It is all about the tease, and nothing about "cheating" or "touching". At no time is the woman performing the dance allowed to touch the man's privates with her hands, NOR is there any undressing allowed or hands on by the man allowed.

    Does she actually rub herself against the man during the "lap dance" portion? Yes. but, the actual lap dancing is about a 1 minute part of the routine. The average length of the routine is about 3 minutes in total. And trust me, it was a HARD routine. My thighs were burning midway through as I tried to balance myself on 4 inch heels.

    Would I allow my husband to get a lap dance? Yeah, probably. Because those girls aren't doing it to find a man willing to cheat on his lady, they're just doing it for the money. Reputable lap dancers are 'strictly professional". It really is all about "the tease" and the power of a woman.

    And by the way, the art of seduction through dance has been going on for thousands of years. Ever watch a belly dancer do her routine? That's one of the sexiest forms of dancing I've ever seen, and one of the hardest dances to learn how to do. I've tried it, and I'm drenched in sweat within seconds.

    ETA: If the man is uncomfortable with the idea, he shouldn't be there. If the man grows uncomfortable with the intimacy that is building, the woman should be told and she should back off. There is a lot of stuff that can be done without the need for grinding on the guy's lap.

    I think it is ace you did a lap dancing class, I would love to give it a go, but my coordination would probably mean it ended in broken noses/black eyes.......

    I have been to strip clubs with an ex and had a lap dance before. The girls had lovely underwear! I think he enjoyed watching me get a lap dance more than his :laugh: I have mentioned it to my current OH and he's not bothered about going at all. If he wanted to go (on a stage do etc) I wouldn't mind, I know he loves me and wouldn't cheat on me. I know he watches porn and that isn't an issue either!!
  • Posts: 129 Member

    Again, this may sound weird, but a good dancer doesn't need to take it to the next level to make money. I find that whole idea disgusting. I think it should remain strictly business, and no touching, no sexual acts, no anything inappropriate, should occur. I'm sure a LOT of the strippers in the strip club make extra bucks doing things they shouldn't, but that's management's responsibility to keep things on the up and up. Also, the lap dancer/stripper should remain clothed.

    Unfortunately where I live the lap dances are given naked (at certain clubs) - and our strip clubs really lack the professionalism that they should have!

    I would love to go to one - where the strippers actually have dancing skills... lol

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