Barbie Moms
Replies
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Run your own race. Don't compare yourself to other people - you don't know their backstories, you don't know their journey.
You can only keep to yours, and travel at your pace.
Don't worry about what what other people are wearing - you don't know where they are going next. Focus on where you are going, and be pleased that you are driving yourself.0 -
"If you continuously compete with others, you become bitter.
But if you continuously compete with yourself you become better."
Forget everything else, I just like this quote!!!0 -
Going to go out on a limb here and say this post is pure horse pucky.
Unless OP lives on some sort of strange planet or the soundstage for a 50s-era sit-com, this is crap.
I've never seen it and I've been dropping kids off at schools for years now.
Picking them up, too. Even in Tokyo where everybody dresses nice to go to the grocer. Even there, the moms were in gym clothes or jeans.
Ok :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: I think it's you who lives on another planet!!!! When I pick up my kid from school, I ALWAYS put on make-up and nice clothes. Even if it's for 5 minutes, it makes me feel good. If I look frumpy, I feel like *kitten* mentally.0 -
yet all there judgmental stares at me made me go home and eat.
No they didn't. You chose to go home and eat.0 -
Before everyone hops on to the bandwagon defending this women and lamenting the deactivation of her account lets not forget that she did entitle this thread Barbie Moms. The connotation of course being that these other moms are superficial, plastic and narcissistic.
Ironically being called a barbie is a lot like being called Einstein I have only ever heard it used as an insult. Then you read her original post and it seems to confirm that she felt out of place because these other women have already accomplished a look that she is going for. Then she tried to blame the fact that she over ate on them. I am sorry but her post was deserving of criticism and since she obviously felt at home judging all these other mothers I do not see why she should be treated with kid gloves.
The Barbie Mom thing...agreed. I really try hard not to return judgement with more judgement. I am aware that people tell me I treat people with kid gloves. But she appeared to be in a vulnerable place and I would rather treat a person gently if that means that my support keeps them motivated to keep working at their goals. And by starting with a sympathetic approach it makes it easier to point out how those other moms might feel at being judged the way she may have been or just perceived to be judged.
Perhaps I am too callous but one thing I like about MFP is the fact that the bulk of the community fosters the idea of personal responsibility. I think that is the reason there are so many success stories here. If she legitimately was looking for us to agree that her overeating was caused by the "Barbie Moms" then she was not going to make it anyways. She was going to have to change that about herself and that change can only happen if she acknowledges it as a problem and chooses to fix it.
I agree with the personal responsibility and I tend to have thick skin so the tone of the responses here would not have bothered me.
I think though, that the same message can be conveyed in a nicer manner sometimes than we tend to see on the internet in general
The OP likely doesn't have thick skin and while I COMPLETELY agree that they need to take personal responsibility and I agree that they need to not judge the other people, there are ways of saying that without it coming across as an attack 0 -
I agree with you. However, sometimes we do need a bit of tough love that tells us "hey, those other people didn't 'make' you do anything, and it's all within YOUR control." The OP sounded very comfortable judging the other moms without even speaking to any of them. She has no idea if perhaps they would have welcomed her with open arms. Frankly, it's too bad that she didn't even bother to give them a chance and judged them at first glance (which is exactly what she assumed they were doing to her).
I wholeheartedly agree. But there's a difference between "tough love" and being downright rude and a douche to people which some of people have been in their replies to this post, I'm sorry.
So, she sounded judgemental in her post? Yup, she did. But when has fighting fire with fire ever worked out? There are polite ways of calling people out on their mistakes without insulting them. And I'm sure that she would have taken a deep breath, then returned to admit that some of the things she wrote were a little over the top, if people had been just a tiny bit nicer in their replies.
For all we know, she may be the sweetest person ever and just had a seriously bad day?! Yes, the "Barbie Moms" were uncalled for and I'm sure her whole description of the situation wasn't completely truthful. Her insecurities got the best of her. But I'm also pretty sure that about 90% of everyone here remember or still know what it is like to feel like you're the ugly duckling. Situations like that can be extremely stressful and put a damper on your mood and motivation. I know this place has taught me differently over and over again, but I still feel like communities like that are supposed to be a support for their members and not make them feel bad for showing a weakness.0 -
Um....I prefer the term action figure. Thanks.
hahahahahaha love it 0 -
I have never seen a topic go on this long after OP deactivates on page1.
who knew?0 -
I just had this inkling after reading the initial post that if I clicked on the username I would find that the user has deactivated . . . sad that I was right :frown:.
OP, if you're creeping these forums later, please understand that we're encouraging you to find motivation within yourself to do the right things for your body. We have all been in a place where the game of comparisons has left us feeling inadequate, but we can't allow that to derail us, hate ourselves, make poor choices, etc. It sucks feeling under-dressed, unpretty, fat, or whatever else the comparisons cause us to feel, but it is up to us to stop playing the comparison game and get to work on self-improvement (mind AND body). It is no one else's responsibility.
I hope you find success!!0 -
Wow wow wow...
Why is everyone being so rude for? It's completley uncalled for. These people made her feel uncomfortable, maybe unintentionally, but they did. Stop the hate gheeze, people will say anything hidden behind a screen, :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: *shakes head*0 -
I have never seen a topic go on this long after OP deactivates on page1.
who knew?
Yep, page 1 and gone and it goes on ranting and humiliating her for another 5 pages. WOW, epic0 -
The thing about the OP that rubbed me wrong the most was the, "They made me eat." If she's said she felt so terrible that she went home and binged, I would have had sympathy.0
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I have never seen a topic go on this long after OP deactivates on page1.
who knew?
Yep, page 1 and gone and it goes on ranting and humiliating her for another 5 pages. WOW, epic
Well you are still providing to it, essentially bumping it to the top of the recent topics page, where others curiosities will be piqued by the title, subsequently posting a response before reading the entire thread.
It's a vicious cycle, is it not?0 -
Wow wow wow...
Why is everyone being so rude for? It's completley uncalled for. These people made her feel uncomfortable, maybe unintentionally, but they did. Stop the hate gheeze, people will say anything hidden behind a screen, :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: *shakes head*
What exactly did THEY do to make her feel uncomfortable?
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I would have scolded all of you in this thread that "judged" OP for being "judgemental", to the point that she deactivated after admitting that she binged. But...
OP...I hope you just created a new account and didnt give up entirely. Some of the a$$hats around here have valid points even if the delivery sucks.0 -
Wow wow wow...
Why is everyone being so rude for? It's completley uncalled for. These people made her feel uncomfortable, maybe unintentionally, but they did. Stop the hate gheese *shakes head*
I don't think people were being rude. They were being direct and honest, but not rude. It's a shame that the OP decided to deactivate, but I believe that speaks more about her than it does about any of the people who responded.
I have full confidence that when the OP is ready, she will return and try again, but strangers with whom she had no real interaction should not have had the ability to "make" her feel the way she did.
Honest and logical replies are usually more helpful than unconditional sympathy. The OP was wrong to unfairly judge those women and to use them as an excuse to fail. People here told her that. If these forums ever get to the point where people are insincerely agreeing with the bad behaviour of others, under the guise of being "supportive" they will be useless. Pity parties help no one.0 -
Well, how else can she express how much better she is than the rest of us?I have never seen a topic go on this long after OP deactivates on page1.
who knew?
Yep, page 1 and gone and it goes on ranting and humiliating her for another 5 pages. WOW, epic
Well you are still providing to it, essentially bumping it to the top of the recent topics page, where others curiosities will be piqued by the title, subsequently posting a response before reading the entire thread.
It's a vicious cycle, is it not?0 -
Wow... a lot of hate going on here.... and I'm not talking about OP. Way to run a fellow struggling overweight person off guys.
Agree!0 -
I have never seen a topic go on this long after OP deactivates on page1.
who knew?
Yep, page 1 and gone and it goes on ranting and humiliating her for another 5 pages. WOW, epic
Well you are still providing to it, essentially bumping it to the top of the recent topics page, where others curiosities will be piqued by the title, subsequently posting a response before reading the entire thread.
It's a vicious cycle, is it not?
Ahhh!! but it was already at the top of the recent topics, which is why I read the entire thread, our of curiosity and I was piqued by the title. Which is why, subsequently, I read the whole 6 pages. Others may choose to read the entire thread also.
Therefore, I felt the need to comment, as duly, you have also?
so, usedtobehusky `touche`0 -
Before everyone hops on to the bandwagon defending this women and lamenting the deactivation of her account lets not forget
We all have a different approach, this is mine. I don't think you are callous. This is a big bad world and some people believe you have to prepare people for it. I believe you have to give people a safe supportive place where they can draw strength and go out and face the big bad world.
@ who takes pleasure in dumping on other people because they're not who you think they oughta be.0 -
Well, how else can she express how much better she is than the rest of us?I have never seen a topic go on this long after OP deactivates on page1.
who knew?
Yep, page 1 and gone and it goes on ranting and humiliating her for another 5 pages. WOW, epic
Well you are still providing to it, essentially bumping it to the top of the recent topics page, where others curiosities will be piqued by the title, subsequently posting a response before reading the entire thread.
It's a vicious cycle, is it not?
Why not take a deep breath before you put your *kitten* into gear. What a stupid comment to type.
Where in my reply did I suggest that I am better than anybody?0 -
Whenever I feel like a slob, I go to peopleofwalmart.com and feel instantly glamorous.0
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Way to beat a dead horse, people in this thread. OP has insecurities, I'm sure we ALL do at some point or another. Don't beat her over the head with them.0
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Before everyone hops on to the bandwagon defending this women and lamenting the deactivation of her account lets not forget that she did entitle this thread Barbie Moms. The connotation of course being that these other moms are superficial, plastic and narcissistic.
Ironically being called a barbie is a lot like being called Einstein I have only ever heard it used as an insult. Then you read her original post and it seems to confirm that she felt out of place because these other women have already accomplished a look that she is going for. Then she tried to blame the fact that she over ate on them. I am sorry but her post was deserving of criticism and since she obviously felt at home judging all these other mothers I do not see why she should be treated with kid gloves.
The Barbie Mom thing...agreed. I really try hard not to return judgement with more judgement. I am aware that people tell me I treat people with kid gloves. But she appeared to be in a vulnerable place and I would rather treat a person gently if that means that my support keeps them motivated to keep working at their goals. And by starting with a sympathetic approach it makes it easier to point out how those other moms might feel at being judged the way she may have been or just perceived to be judged.
Perhaps I am too callous but one thing I like about MFP is the fact that the bulk of the community fosters the idea of personal responsibility. I think that is the reason there are so many success stories here. If she legitimately was looking for us to agree that her overeating was caused by the "Barbie Moms" then she was not going to make it anyways. She was going to have to change that about herself and that change can only happen if she acknowledges it as a problem and chooses to fix it.
You can still foster a sense of personal responsibility by first acknowledging that she is upset and helping a person understand why they are upset and ultimately trying to help them see how to view it from the perspective of these other moms. I won't carry anyone here. You are right, she needs to do this for herself. But if she was reaching out for help and I thought I could help, I would try. Even if I didn't agree with what she said or how she said it.
We all have a different approach, this is mine. I don't think you are callous. This is a big bad world and some people believe you have to prepare people for it. I believe you have to give people a safe supportive place where they can draw strength and go out and face the big bad world.
AGREE. Personal responsibility, ACCEPTANCE, EDUCATION do NOT mean RUDENESS. Empower people, don't shame them long before they can get a handle on their issue.0 -
What other purpose did you have for posting what you posted?
Well, how else can she express how much better she is than the rest of us?I have never seen a topic go on this long after OP deactivates on page1.
who knew?
Yep, page 1 and gone and it goes on ranting and humiliating her for another 5 pages. WOW, epic
Well you are still providing to it, essentially bumping it to the top of the recent topics page, where others curiosities will be piqued by the title, subsequently posting a response before reading the entire thread.
It's a vicious cycle, is it not?
Why not take a deep breath before you put your *kitten* into gear. What a stupid comment to type.
Where in my reply did I suggest that I am better than anybody?0 -
What other purpose did you have for posting what you posted?I have never seen a topic go on this long after OP deactivates on page1.
who knew?
Well, how else can she express how much better she is than the rest of us?
Why not take a deep breath before you put your *kitten* into gear. What a stupid comment to type.
Where in my reply did I suggest that I am better than anybody?
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I will explain this to you as a `one time` explanation OK?
There is no `us` except maybe in your mind and to reply as `the rest of us` it is not `you` and `us` it is a forum whereby unless the mods deactivate your account we are all `one` and `the same`.
Let me break it down more for you OK?
You may have posted lots of replies to posts on the MFP forum but it does not make you or I an expert, or better than anyone else.
I replied to the post because I read through the 6 pages of this topic and my opinion (which I am allowed to have BTW) was that a lot of people humiliated another human being for a topic they created.
They have since deleted their account0 -
Whenever I feel like a slob, I go to peopleofwalmart.com and feel instantly glamorous.
QFT0 -
LOL.... wow... it is really scary to think that these kids are going to have to be exposed to a mother like that... so glad we had all boys...0
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Oh ... dear. That is all.What other purpose did you have for posting what you posted?
I will explain this to you as a `one time` explanation OK?
There is no `us` except maybe in your mind and to reply as `the rest of us` it is not `you` and `us` it is a forum whereby unless the mods deactivate your account we are all `one` and `the same`.
Let me break it down more for you OK?
You may have posted lots of replies to posts on the MFP forum but it does not make you or I an expert, or better than anyone else.
I replied to the post because I read through the 6 pages of this topic and my opinion (which I am allowed to have BTW) was that a lot of people humiliated another human being for a topic they created.
They have since deleted their account0 -
How does it look?
tehe0
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