Obsessive/Unhealthy Dieting Relationship
Replies
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So many have commented that you need supports in place. I agree!
Perhaps a bit of reading to help along the way: I have read Geneen Roth's 'Food Love and God' and found some 'aha' moments that I have really caused me to think differently about things (it's reallly not always about the food). I hope you can get 'excited' about this new journey. If you want it bad enough, you will 'find a way'.0 -
You're so busy watching the guppies swim you don't notice the shark chomping on your boat.
AKA
You are so focused on the small things you can't see the bigger picture.
I think you should seek out professional help, regardless of the financial concerns (there are free resources as I said, low-income options, financial aid, loans, payment plans etc. Money is NOT the issue.)
You're your own worst enemy.
Get the help you need and stop focusing on every little thing you cannot control. You have issues that run deeper than just LCHF or Eating clean or even weight loss in general. You need to learn personal responsibility, you need to learn to stop making excuses and you need to learn how to listen. Every single suggestion that has been put forth in this thread (and all of your others) has been shot down for whatever reason you have. It's really not that difficult. Seriously, it's not. You're making it bigger than it really is and you have every excuse as to why it's like that.
I want you to think hard about this next question. And I mean REALLY think about it. And then answer.
What do you want the most?
(Ex: I want to get a job. I want to get married. I want to buy a car. I want a new blouse. I want to lose weight. I want to walk around the block everyday. I want a new color lipstick. I want a piece of cake. I want to go to the beach. I want to play in the snow.)0 -
Moving from total control which is unsustainable to controlled chaos which is where most of us live is more like surfing a wave. Sometimes life overwhelms but starting again is as easy as getting back on the board.
Asking life to be as straight and predictable as a train ride means dynamiting any mountains in the way, laying track, pounding nails...way too much investment for everyday folks.
I don't have any good suggestions for the OP because I don't have enough in me to put up with that much stress around dieting. I find it hard and do whatever I need to make it easier on me.
I love describing it as controlled chaos. Best thing I've read all weekend about eating. Thank you @jgnatca. Need that right now.0 -
I think the simple answer is portion control. You can eat anything just limit the amount and don't focus on "healthy" foods vs "unhealthy" foods.0
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I think if the Beck Diet solution was written differently, I'd like it more. I DO like some of the things I've read in it. I just don't care for her approach. I definitely am less black and white about dieting than I used to be. I can go out for burgers and fries with friends and go right back to eating quinoa and broccoli the next day.
The problem is, I haven't been able to do that every time, and I'm so sick and tired of weighing, measuring and tracking. The idea of eating plain yogurt with fruit as a snack doesn't overwhelm me. I bought chicken sausage, vegetables, and lentils to throw together for lunch on Tuesday when I'm out with friends (I have to pack a lunch for this). I bought frozen seafood. I figure this upcoming week (Monday through Saturday), I'll have 18 meals. 14-16 of those will likely be meals at home OR meals that I'm packing. That means, even if I do have dinner at a friend's house a couple times during the week, at least 75% of my food should be reasonable. And it's not like my friends eat terribly. Tuesday, if I eat at a friend's house for dinner, I know there will be a TON of veggies (my friend will sneak vegetables in EVERYTHING- shredded carrots mixed in ground beef, butternut squash puree in chili). The worst thing about eating there is that her husband is on a low-carb diet, so everything is full fat, but that's what I prefer anyway. (And it means that things like pasta and rice are kept on the side, so I can avoid the white rice that she eats).
Even if I do decide to have pizza when I babysit Saturday night (assuming they decide to order it), that's still in my 2-4 potential meals out of the house this week (and I'll probably throw some veggies on the side to make it a LITTLE better if I don't bring my own dinner (if I end up out of the house for breakfast or lunch, I'm less worried because lunch at my friend's houses usually involves me raiding their refrigerator and throwing something together).
I wonder if I just focus on eating mostly whole, minimally processed ingredients at home (whole grains, vegetables, fruit, dairy, healthy fats) while avoiding added sugar and obvious junk food, then maybe that'll be a good start. Then, out of the house, I can try incorporating little tricks that I know I should try following: filling up the plate once unless it's fruits/veggies, skipping sweets unless it's actually a special occasion or rare-homemade treat (which I'm usually good about doing), and trying to stick to a semi-consistent schedule of eating breakfast, lunch, dinner, and maybe 1-2 snacks).
That's what I need. I need a way to eat well most of the time, enjoy time with friends, and NOT obsess over calories or points or any of that.
Again, have you tried WW Simply Filling plan?
http://www.weightwatchers.com/util/art/index_art.aspx?tabnum=1&art_id=65271&sc=3002
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I think if the Beck Diet solution was written differently, I'd like it more. I DO like some of the things I've read in it. I just don't care for her approach. I definitely am less black and white about dieting than I used to be. I can go out for burgers and fries with friends and go right back to eating quinoa and broccoli the next day.
The problem is, I haven't been able to do that every time, and I'm so sick and tired of weighing, measuring and tracking. The idea of eating plain yogurt with fruit as a snack doesn't overwhelm me. I bought chicken sausage, vegetables, and lentils to throw together for lunch on Tuesday when I'm out with friends (I have to pack a lunch for this). I bought frozen seafood. I figure this upcoming week (Monday through Saturday), I'll have 18 meals. 14-16 of those will likely be meals at home OR meals that I'm packing. That means, even if I do have dinner at a friend's house a couple times during the week, at least 75% of my food should be reasonable. And it's not like my friends eat terribly. Tuesday, if I eat at a friend's house for dinner, I know there will be a TON of veggies (my friend will sneak vegetables in EVERYTHING- shredded carrots mixed in ground beef, butternut squash puree in chili). The worst thing about eating there is that her husband is on a low-carb diet, so everything is full fat, but that's what I prefer anyway. (And it means that things like pasta and rice are kept on the side, so I can avoid the white rice that she eats).
Even if I do decide to have pizza when I babysit Saturday night (assuming they decide to order it), that's still in my 2-4 potential meals out of the house this week (and I'll probably throw some veggies on the side to make it a LITTLE better if I don't bring my own dinner (if I end up out of the house for breakfast or lunch, I'm less worried because lunch at my friend's houses usually involves me raiding their refrigerator and throwing something together).
I wonder if I just focus on eating mostly whole, minimally processed ingredients at home (whole grains, vegetables, fruit, dairy, healthy fats) while avoiding added sugar and obvious junk food, then maybe that'll be a good start. Then, out of the house, I can try incorporating little tricks that I know I should try following: filling up the plate once unless it's fruits/veggies, skipping sweets unless it's actually a special occasion or rare-homemade treat (which I'm usually good about doing), and trying to stick to a semi-consistent schedule of eating breakfast, lunch, dinner, and maybe 1-2 snacks).
That's what I need. I need a way to eat well most of the time, enjoy time with friends, and NOT obsess over calories or points or any of that.
OP I've seen you post lengthy posts like this many times where you over analyze every possible detail. What you are proposing is just fine. Do that. You don't have to weigh every single item that goes in your mouth. I lost weight and don't own a food scale. You don't have to give up a social life. I lost weight and eat in restaurants or food that other people make on a regular basis. You can eat mostly your whole minimally processed foods when you cook for yourself and then indulge when you go out. No problem. That's what most people do. Your situation is not really different or more challenging than anyone else on here who manages to lose weight and carry on a normal life with work, church, family, friends, etc.
It's all fine. I think I've said this to you in other threads. We have a phrase at work for when people hem and haw and agonize over the details of a project rather than just starting because they are too afraid of failure.
JFDI. Just F-ing Do It.
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WalkingAlong wrote: »I think if the Beck Diet solution was written differently, I'd like it more. I DO like some of the things I've read in it. I just don't care for her approach. I definitely am less black and white about dieting than I used to be. I can go out for burgers and fries with friends and go right back to eating quinoa and broccoli the next day.
The problem is, I haven't been able to do that every time, and I'm so sick and tired of weighing, measuring and tracking. The idea of eating plain yogurt with fruit as a snack doesn't overwhelm me. I bought chicken sausage, vegetables, and lentils to throw together for lunch on Tuesday when I'm out with friends (I have to pack a lunch for this). I bought frozen seafood. I figure this upcoming week (Monday through Saturday), I'll have 18 meals. 14-16 of those will likely be meals at home OR meals that I'm packing. That means, even if I do have dinner at a friend's house a couple times during the week, at least 75% of my food should be reasonable. And it's not like my friends eat terribly. Tuesday, if I eat at a friend's house for dinner, I know there will be a TON of veggies (my friend will sneak vegetables in EVERYTHING- shredded carrots mixed in ground beef, butternut squash puree in chili). The worst thing about eating there is that her husband is on a low-carb diet, so everything is full fat, but that's what I prefer anyway. (And it means that things like pasta and rice are kept on the side, so I can avoid the white rice that she eats).
Even if I do decide to have pizza when I babysit Saturday night (assuming they decide to order it), that's still in my 2-4 potential meals out of the house this week (and I'll probably throw some veggies on the side to make it a LITTLE better if I don't bring my own dinner (if I end up out of the house for breakfast or lunch, I'm less worried because lunch at my friend's houses usually involves me raiding their refrigerator and throwing something together).
I wonder if I just focus on eating mostly whole, minimally processed ingredients at home (whole grains, vegetables, fruit, dairy, healthy fats) while avoiding added sugar and obvious junk food, then maybe that'll be a good start. Then, out of the house, I can try incorporating little tricks that I know I should try following: filling up the plate once unless it's fruits/veggies, skipping sweets unless it's actually a special occasion or rare-homemade treat (which I'm usually good about doing), and trying to stick to a semi-consistent schedule of eating breakfast, lunch, dinner, and maybe 1-2 snacks).
That's what I need. I need a way to eat well most of the time, enjoy time with friends, and NOT obsess over calories or points or any of that.
Again, have you tried WW Simply Filling plan?
http://www.weightwatchers.com/util/art/index_art.aspx?tabnum=1&art_id=65271&sc=3002
Yes, I have. It's just not flexible enough for me. I can't have a sandwich for a quick meal (I can't eat most light breads, and I don't want to waste my weeklies on bread when I might need them to go out). I do try to eat more power foods, but I need more flexibility than what Simply Filling allows. (I also need to eat more fat. Two teaspoons of olive oil just won't cut it).0 -
Can't, can't, can't, can't...how about, more accurately, "I won't"?
I feel bad for the posters who are genuinely trying to give you good advice here. Sticking your fingers in your ears and going "blah blah blah I can't I can't" is not going to make the weight disappear.0 -
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i lost weight and used no excuses0
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We call it Paralysis by Analysis.WinoGelato wrote: »It's all fine. I think I've said this to you in other threads. We have a phrase at work for when people hem and haw and agonize over the details of a project rather than just starting because they are too afraid of failure.
JFDI. Just F-ing Do It.
LOL at "blasphemer". I was going to call her "heretic".
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I do bring food with me places. THAT IS THE PROBLEM. I'm tired of going over to people's houses and eating my own food at dinnertime. It's WEIRD.
Take a break then. Just take a break for your peace of mind. Seriously. Just go to a friend's house once this week and enjoy yourself. Eat what they eat. Breathe. And then get back on track the next day. sounds like you just need a break.0 -
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I don't know of any diet plans that allow you to fairly freely eat bread and fats and also not track. It seems like one of those has got to be very limited, or you have to count everything to keep your portions very small. Good luck!WalkingAlong wrote: »I think if the Beck Diet solution was written differently, I'd like it more. I DO like some of the things I've read in it. I just don't care for her approach. I definitely am less black and white about dieting than I used to be. I can go out for burgers and fries with friends and go right back to eating quinoa and broccoli the next day.
The problem is, I haven't been able to do that every time, and I'm so sick and tired of weighing, measuring and tracking. The idea of eating plain yogurt with fruit as a snack doesn't overwhelm me. I bought chicken sausage, vegetables, and lentils to throw together for lunch on Tuesday when I'm out with friends (I have to pack a lunch for this). I bought frozen seafood. I figure this upcoming week (Monday through Saturday), I'll have 18 meals. 14-16 of those will likely be meals at home OR meals that I'm packing. That means, even if I do have dinner at a friend's house a couple times during the week, at least 75% of my food should be reasonable. And it's not like my friends eat terribly. Tuesday, if I eat at a friend's house for dinner, I know there will be a TON of veggies (my friend will sneak vegetables in EVERYTHING- shredded carrots mixed in ground beef, butternut squash puree in chili). The worst thing about eating there is that her husband is on a low-carb diet, so everything is full fat, but that's what I prefer anyway. (And it means that things like pasta and rice are kept on the side, so I can avoid the white rice that she eats).
Even if I do decide to have pizza when I babysit Saturday night (assuming they decide to order it), that's still in my 2-4 potential meals out of the house this week (and I'll probably throw some veggies on the side to make it a LITTLE better if I don't bring my own dinner (if I end up out of the house for breakfast or lunch, I'm less worried because lunch at my friend's houses usually involves me raiding their refrigerator and throwing something together).
I wonder if I just focus on eating mostly whole, minimally processed ingredients at home (whole grains, vegetables, fruit, dairy, healthy fats) while avoiding added sugar and obvious junk food, then maybe that'll be a good start. Then, out of the house, I can try incorporating little tricks that I know I should try following: filling up the plate once unless it's fruits/veggies, skipping sweets unless it's actually a special occasion or rare-homemade treat (which I'm usually good about doing), and trying to stick to a semi-consistent schedule of eating breakfast, lunch, dinner, and maybe 1-2 snacks).
That's what I need. I need a way to eat well most of the time, enjoy time with friends, and NOT obsess over calories or points or any of that.
Again, have you tried WW Simply Filling plan?
http://www.weightwatchers.com/util/art/index_art.aspx?tabnum=1&art_id=65271&sc=3002
Yes, I have. It's just not flexible enough for me. I can't have a sandwich for a quick meal (I can't eat most light breads, and I don't want to waste my weeklies on bread when I might need them to go out). I do try to eat more power foods, but I need more flexibility than what Simply Filling allows. (I also need to eat more fat. Two teaspoons of olive oil just won't cut it).0 -
WalkingAlong wrote: »
I don't know of any diet plans that allow you to fairly freely eat bread and fats and also not track. It seems like one of those has got to be very limited, or you have to count everything to keep your portions very small. Good luck!WalkingAlong wrote: »I think if the Beck Diet solution was written differently, I'd like it more. I DO like some of the things I've read in it. I just don't care for her approach. I definitely am less black and white about dieting than I used to be. I can go out for burgers and fries with friends and go right back to eating quinoa and broccoli the next day.
The problem is, I haven't been able to do that every time, and I'm so sick and tired of weighing, measuring and tracking. The idea of eating plain yogurt with fruit as a snack doesn't overwhelm me. I bought chicken sausage, vegetables, and lentils to throw together for lunch on Tuesday when I'm out with friends (I have to pack a lunch for this). I bought frozen seafood. I figure this upcoming week (Monday through Saturday), I'll have 18 meals. 14-16 of those will likely be meals at home OR meals that I'm packing. That means, even if I do have dinner at a friend's house a couple times during the week, at least 75% of my food should be reasonable. And it's not like my friends eat terribly. Tuesday, if I eat at a friend's house for dinner, I know there will be a TON of veggies (my friend will sneak vegetables in EVERYTHING- shredded carrots mixed in ground beef, butternut squash puree in chili). The worst thing about eating there is that her husband is on a low-carb diet, so everything is full fat, but that's what I prefer anyway. (And it means that things like pasta and rice are kept on the side, so I can avoid the white rice that she eats).
Even if I do decide to have pizza when I babysit Saturday night (assuming they decide to order it), that's still in my 2-4 potential meals out of the house this week (and I'll probably throw some veggies on the side to make it a LITTLE better if I don't bring my own dinner (if I end up out of the house for breakfast or lunch, I'm less worried because lunch at my friend's houses usually involves me raiding their refrigerator and throwing something together).
I wonder if I just focus on eating mostly whole, minimally processed ingredients at home (whole grains, vegetables, fruit, dairy, healthy fats) while avoiding added sugar and obvious junk food, then maybe that'll be a good start. Then, out of the house, I can try incorporating little tricks that I know I should try following: filling up the plate once unless it's fruits/veggies, skipping sweets unless it's actually a special occasion or rare-homemade treat (which I'm usually good about doing), and trying to stick to a semi-consistent schedule of eating breakfast, lunch, dinner, and maybe 1-2 snacks).
That's what I need. I need a way to eat well most of the time, enjoy time with friends, and NOT obsess over calories or points or any of that.
Again, have you tried WW Simply Filling plan?
http://www.weightwatchers.com/util/art/index_art.aspx?tabnum=1&art_id=65271&sc=3002
Yes, I have. It's just not flexible enough for me. I can't have a sandwich for a quick meal (I can't eat most light breads, and I don't want to waste my weeklies on bread when I might need them to go out). I do try to eat more power foods, but I need more flexibility than what Simply Filling allows. (I also need to eat more fat. Two teaspoons of olive oil just won't cut it).
Exactly. That's why I opted for counting points for everything and obsessing over numbers because it allows me to eat anything. However, that also means I'm blowing through all my points in the morning if I decide on avocado toast with eggs or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with milk. I never said I want to freely eat bread and fat. I just want to eat t it. PERIOD. I can't on Simply Filling. I'd eat up my entire weekly allowance on one sandwich. Even counting points, I have to give up a lot of my favorite foods. I don't eat avocados. I don't eat nuts. I don't drink milk. I've given up my favorite dessert yogurt. I gave up the bread I really like. I even stopped eating sweet potatoes because they went up in points.
And I bring my own food with me when I eat at friends' houses, or I skip out on social events so I don't have to worry about the food.
But, perhaps, that's what I get for being fat. I have to be miserable in order to lose weight.0 -
I see this as the issue, too.
@ftsolk I see you are highly selective on the advice you hear. That I fear is your downfall, not your weight.But, perhaps, that's what I get for being fat. I have to be miserable in order to lose weight.
To elaborate: I was obese. I lost 75 lbs. I'm a normal BMI now. I wasn't miserable.
If you are, you're not doing it right.
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Exactly. That's why I opted for counting points for everything and obsessing over numbers because it allows me to eat anything. However, that also means I'm blowing through all my points in the morning if I decide on avocado toast with eggs or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with milk. I never said I want to freely eat bread and fat. I just want to eat t it. PERIOD. I can't on Simply Filling. I'd eat up my entire weekly allowance on one sandwich. Even counting points, I have to give up a lot of my favorite foods. I don't eat avocados. I don't eat nuts. I don't drink milk. I've given up my favorite dessert yogurt. I gave up the bread I really like. I even stopped eating sweet potatoes because they went up in points.
And I bring my own food with me when I eat at friends' houses, or I skip out on social events so I don't have to worry about the food.
But, perhaps, that's what I get for being fat. I have to be miserable in order to lose weight.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself and ditch the all-or-nothing attitude.
No one has to be miserable to lose weight. You're taking things to extremes and then whining about it. You have a million and one excuses and zero personal responsibility.
You really should seek out some counseling because clearly, no one here can help you.0 -
Anorexia and bulimia are not the only eating disorders, you know. EDNOS covers a lot, and IIRC it's much more common than either of the others. If your eating habits and obsessions are interfering with your life, you should at least talk to a professional about it, even call a helpline, instead of taking a quiz on the internet that just tests for certain behaviors. I would recommend therapy but I guess you've nixed that already?0
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pinggolfer96 wrote: »You can't let food control your life. I would actually suggest breaking away from MFP if it's causing that obsession. Just eat mindfully, healthy, and common sense portions. Listen to you bodies cues when you're hungry
This^^ Absolutely this!
MFP or any type of weighing and measuring of food is just a tool. Different tools work for different people. Live the life you want to live. The life that makes you happy. Just slightly under eat while doing it until you get to goal. Then continue that same life only don't overeat.0 -
Need2Exerc1se wrote: »pinggolfer96 wrote: »You can't let food control your life. I would actually suggest breaking away from MFP if it's causing that obsession. Just eat mindfully, healthy, and common sense portions. Listen to you bodies cues when you're hungry
This^^ Absolutely this!
MFP or any type of weighing and measuring of food is just a tool. Different tools work for different people. Live the life you want to live. The life that makes you happy. Just slightly under eat while doing it until you get to goal. Then continue that same life only don't overeat.
I've tried that before.I gained weight in the process.0 -
Fat and happy is preferable over obsessed and miserable.0
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Or you could get some therapy. Or learn more about the concepts I offered (all or nothing thinking, cognitive distortion). Learning is free.0
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Or you could just continue doing what you're doing and complaining about it endlessly.
I, for one, am done here.0 -
eileen0515 wrote: »You appear to have maturity and attention seeking issues. Address those, then address weight loss.
You win the Internet @eileen0515 because you hit the nail on the head with this one-1 -
This !snickerscharlie wrote: »Or you could just continue doing what you're doing and complaining about it endlessly.
I, for one, am done here.
I'm guessing that this will be the decision she makes. Nothing ever changes, same excuses, same situations, and so on. Without mental health help, sadly we will see the same pattern over and over again here.-1 -
Need2Exerc1se wrote: »pinggolfer96 wrote: »You can't let food control your life. I would actually suggest breaking away from MFP if it's causing that obsession. Just eat mindfully, healthy, and common sense portions. Listen to you bodies cues when you're hungry
This^^ Absolutely this!
MFP or any type of weighing and measuring of food is just a tool. Different tools work for different people. Live the life you want to live. The life that makes you happy. Just slightly under eat while doing it until you get to goal. Then continue that same life only don't overeat.
I've tried that before.I gained weight in the process.
Clearly you were still overeating.
#NotRocketScience0 -
Exactly. That's why I opted for counting points for everything and obsessing over numbers because it allows me to eat anything. However, that also means I'm blowing through all my points in the morning if I decide on avocado toast with eggs or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with milk. I never said I want to freely eat bread and fat. I just want to eat t it. PERIOD. I can't on Simply Filling. I'd eat up my entire weekly allowance on one sandwich. Even counting points, I have to give up a lot of my favorite foods. I don't eat avocados. I don't eat nuts. I don't drink milk. I've given up my favorite dessert yogurt. I gave up the bread I really like. I even stopped eating sweet potatoes because they went up in points.
Not true. My recollection of SFT is that you still get your weekly points, and you can use those (and any activity points) on foods that aren't on the list of allowed foods.
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Exactly. That's why I opted for counting points for everything and obsessing over numbers because it allows me to eat anything. However, that also means I'm blowing through all my points in the morning if I decide on avocado toast with eggs or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with milk.I never said I want to freely eat bread and fat. I just want to eat t it. PERIOD. I can't on Simply Filling. I'd eat up my entire weekly allowance on one sandwich. Even counting points, I have to give up a lot of my favorite foods. I don't eat avocados. I don't eat nuts. I don't drink milk. I've given up my favorite dessert yogurt. I gave up the bread I really like. I even stopped eating sweet potatoes because they went up in points.
And I bring my own food with me when I eat at friends' houses, or I skip out on social events so I don't have to worry about the food.
But, perhaps, that's what I get for being fat. I have to be miserable in order to lose weight.
I am not on WW, but according to my Googling, an entire avocado is 7 points, eggs are 2 points and bread is approximately 2 points per piece. So, you could eat 2 pieces of toast, 2 eggs, and a whole avocado for 15 points. A peanut butter and jelly sandwich is about 8 points. Milk is 3 points for a cup of the low fat variety. That is a total of 11 points. I am sure you are getting more than 11 or 15 points to use each day.
As for using up an entire weekly allowance on a sandwich, that is just plain ridiculous. What kind of sandwiches are you eating? The last time I checked, the weekly allowance was 49 points. Even if that has changed with the newest program, I am still sure you could fit in a sandwich or 7 throughout the course of the week.
Stop exaggerating. Take some responsibility for your choices. You can choose to make a change or you can choose to stay the same. Either way, it is up to you. No one else can do it for you.-1 -
I'd go nuts using a scale.0
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