Things you should never say on a FIRST DATE
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"While I was in prison..."0
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If you did more planks you'd have a rocking body. I have a gym in my basement, you could come over and I'll show you the proper way to do a plank.0
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"Oh, this is the first place my convicted ex-boyfriend took me", while crying uncontrollably0
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Oh that! It's not a blister I just bit my lip!0
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You look a lot older than 500
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You look just like my wife!0
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That's it???0
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Marry me and make me pregnant!!!0
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Can I have a little clipping of your hair as a souvenir?0
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When I checked out your Facebook0
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Oh man that is totally like when I was in prison and this one day in the shower...0
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I'm looking for a Baby Daddy0
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"This is going so much better than with that b***h I went out with last night."1
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Have you ever considered getting a nose job?0
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ClubSilencio wrote: »You look different from your profile pic.
You mind if my buddy Brad swings by?
*checks out another girl* Damn, she fine.
I just got back from Vegas.
*long silence* Hey, you wanna see me Nae Nae?
These crack me up...
Ok, how about...
"You ordered a diet soda? But...it's the devil..."
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So.....I have a very colorful booger collection at home that I keep hermetically sealed in a display case with lights all dated back since I was 3.
Wanna check it out?0 -
"Are they real?"0
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"Can I borrow your fork to pop this pimple on my nostril?"0
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Don't I recognize you from rehab?1
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Oops, I forgot my wallet...0
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I'm almost done with my antibiotics.0
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Don't worry about using a condom..Im pregnant already ..1
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I have a third nipple — want to see it?0
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You know I'm really a dude, right?0
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It only itches sometimes.1
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My friend told me you had a nice personality0
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I used to be called Walter1
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"Ugh these crabs are soooooo itchy"1
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I'm ovulating right now soooooooo....0
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