What No One Tells You About Going Paleo (Hint: It's Sad)

MommyMeggo · March 2016

Oh man this was an epic read!!

goldthistime · March 2016

Thanks for sharing this with us OP. I likely wouldn't have clicked the link if you hadn't quoted it, and missing this piece would be tragic.

kalmf · March 2016

Thanks OP for posting this, hilarious. The writer is Blogger Geraldine DeRuiter of The Everywhereist.

Smccabe8 · March 2016

Thanks for posting! I'm covering up laughing at my desk with fake coughing fits. Hopefully I'm covering well.

Francl27 · March 2016

Whitezombiegirl wrote: »

You admit to not researching it and would probably agree that you had some misunderstandings. I came to paleo via an intetest in paleo ethnology and its worked great for me for the last 8 years. Im 90% which means i have 10% of my diet on whatever. Not gonna make a case for it coz it obviously didnt work for you. Each to our own.

90% Paleo... lol. Clearly you must be an expect on paleo eating.

lohlgren · March 2016

Thank you for the morning giggles!! Great writing! I would follow you if I could find the darn button...

vingogly · March 2016

Let's see how the Paleo Diet worked for our caveman ancestors 30,000 years ago:

http://fineartamerica.com/featured/venus-of-willendorf-granger.html

snikkins · March 2016

vingogly wrote: »

Let's see how the Paleo Diet worked for our caveman ancestors 30,000 years ago:

http://fineartamerica.com/featured/venus-of-willendorf-granger.html

To be fair, that's considered a Venus figure (as the name suggests), meaning it was likely a fertility thing, which typically has exaggerated feminine features that were the ones considered best for making babies or are already pregnant in appearance. So, it's unlikely that that's what most people looked like.

jofjltncb6 · March 2016

snikkins wrote: »

vingogly wrote: »

Let's see how the Paleo Diet worked for our caveman ancestors 30,000 years ago:

http://fineartamerica.com/featured/venus-of-willendorf-granger.html

To be fair, that's considered a Venus figure (as the name suggests), meaning it was likely a fertility thing, which typically has exaggerated feminine features that were the ones considered best for making babies or are already pregnant in appearance. So, it's unlikely that that's what most people looked like.

Hush.

(You know facts have no place on this bandwagon.)

snikkins · March 2016

jofjltncb6 wrote: »

snikkins wrote: »

vingogly wrote: »

Let's see how the Paleo Diet worked for our caveman ancestors 30,000 years ago:

http://fineartamerica.com/featured/venus-of-willendorf-granger.html

To be fair, that's considered a Venus figure (as the name suggests), meaning it was likely a fertility thing, which typically has exaggerated feminine features that were the ones considered best for making babies or are already pregnant in appearance. So, it's unlikely that that's what most people looked like.

Hush.

(You know facts have no place on this bandwagon.)

Don't worry. I felt gross defending the Paleo diet in even a completely indirect way.

snickerscharlie · March 2016

Thanks for posting this.

Even if you didn't write it.

Guinivere · March 2016

I just woke my hubby up by giggling. Great read. Thanks

vingogly · March 2016

jofjltncb6 wrote: »

snikkins wrote: »

vingogly wrote: »

Let's see how the Paleo Diet worked for our caveman ancestors 30,000 years ago:

http://fineartamerica.com/featured/venus-of-willendorf-granger.html

To be fair, that's considered a Venus figure (as the name suggests), meaning it was likely a fertility thing, which typically has exaggerated feminine features that were the ones considered best for making babies or are already pregnant in appearance. So, it's unlikely that that's what most people looked like.

Hush.

(You know facts have no place on this bandwagon.)

Fred Flintstone was porky, that's enough proof for me:

http://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/12049/The-Stone-Age-diet-that-can-beat-diabetes

mathiseasy · March 2016

oh god I'm over here cackling to myself and woke the baby up. THANKS A LOT PALEO.

cjean920 · March 2016

Not sure where Wetcoaster got their info from about Paleo but yes you can have starches (in natural form like sweet potatoes) and yes, you can have fruit just not large quantities all the time if you're trying to lose weight. And no, you don't have to eat a ton of meat and a garden size portion of veggies for each meal. 3-6 ounces protein depending on your size and 2-3 cups vegetables. If you don't want booty issues then don't eat 3 cups of very fibrous veggies in the same meal.
I'm on Paleo right now since about 3 weeks ago and am down about 10lbs and feel fantastic! I don't feel deprived at all!! A really really good website to learn about Paleo and all its benefits as well as not so good things is paleoleap.com.
Sorry your experience sucks with it!

stephanieluvspb · March 2016

You know what's sad? The fact that some people really don't have a sense of humor!

jofjltncb6 · March 2016

I ate strict paleo for all of 2012...

...and I thought this was hilarious because it's grounded in truthiness.

concordancia · March 2016

Actually, the funniest thing in this thread is the claim that someone could arrive at this diet out of historical interest.

kmanrique321 · March 2016

So funny!! Loved the laughs, but seriously, I've been Paleo for almost a year: practically zero refined carbs, sugars & everything else. It's cured by diabetes, drastically reduced my arthritis & I've lost 140 lbs. You can giggle all you want at my affair with the produce section & you can keep you muffins & cookies! I'd rather eat cabbage than cookies if it means walking without a cane, not sticking my fingers 3xday & having clothes fit a whole lot better!! It's not a diet for everyone but I'm not giving it up!!

snickerscharlie · March 2016

kmanrique321 wrote: »

So funny!! Loved the laughs, but seriously, I've been Paleo for almost a year: practically zero refined carbs, sugars & everything else. It's cured by diabetes, drastically reduced my arthritis & I've lost 140 lbs. You can giggle all you want at my affair with the produce section & you can keep you muffins & cookies! I'd rather eat cabbage than cookies if it means walking without a cane, not sticking my fingers 3xday & having clothes fit a whole lot better!! It's not a diet for everyone but I'm not giving it up!!

Could the benefits you describe be a result of having lost 140 lbs regardless of the vehicle you used to get there? Or are you saying that Paleo cured you? It's an important distinction.

lemurcat12 · March 2016

concordancia wrote: »

Actually, the funniest thing in this thread is the claim that someone could arrive at this diet out of historical interest.

Agreed.

lemurcat12 · March 2016

kmanrique321 wrote: »

So funny!! Loved the laughs, but seriously, I've been Paleo for almost a year: practically zero refined carbs, sugars & everything else. It's cured by diabetes, drastically reduced my arthritis & I've lost 140 lbs. You can giggle all you want at my affair with the produce section & you can keep you muffins & cookies! I'd rather eat cabbage than cookies if it means walking without a cane, not sticking my fingers 3xday & having clothes fit a whole lot better!! It's not a diet for everyone but I'm not giving it up!!

You realize that you can eat lots of vegetables and cut way down on refined carbs and sugary dessert foods if you are getting lots of calories from them even without doing paleo (and eliminating foods like whole grains, legumes, and plain greek yogurt/cottage cheese, and delicious cheeses)? Probably a good portion of people did -- for me that was just common sense.

I tried paleo a bit since I wanted to see if I felt different, especially without grains. I didn't (I do feel better eating a healthful diet and, of course, being thinner and more active, which I am). Also, I realized I was depriving myself of options that I think are actively healthful for my particular diet and make it easier not to eat as much meat for my protein (like legumes, whole grains, dairy, of course). So I decided it was wrong for me, although I didn't find it a difficult way to eat short term, anyway -- I admit that the underlying claims about history being wrong is part of why I simply could not have stuck with it. Anyway, I always wonder if for some people they simply can't imagine how to change their diet to be more healthful without following something like paleo (or paleo just makes it seem more fun and exciting).

Anyway, great job on your weight loss, and I am sure losing that much weight made a huge difference for you!

Wetcoaster · March 2016

cjean920 wrote: »

Not sure where Wetcoaster got their info from about Paleo but yes you can have starches (in natural form like sweet potatoes) and yes, you can have fruit just not large quantities all the time if you're trying to lose weight. And no, you don't have to eat a ton of meat and a garden size portion of veggies for each meal. 3-6 ounces protein depending on your size and 2-3 cups vegetables. If you don't want booty issues then don't eat 3 cups of very fibrous veggies in the same meal.
I'm on Paleo right now since about 3 weeks ago and am down about 10lbs and feel fantastic! I don't feel deprived at all!! A really really good website to learn about Paleo and all its benefits as well as not so good things is paleoleap.com.
Sorry your experience sucks with it!

1.....You need to learn how to read because once again I DID NOT WRITE IT

2..... Get a sense of humor.

Wetcoaster · March 2016

kmanrique321 wrote: »

So funny!! Loved the laughs, but seriously, I've been Paleo for almost a year: practically zero refined carbs, sugars & everything else. It's cured by diabetes, drastically reduced my arthritis & I've lost 140 lbs. You can giggle all you want at my affair with the produce section & you can keep you muffins & cookies! I'd rather eat cabbage than cookies if it means walking without a cane, not sticking my fingers 3xday & having clothes fit a whole lot better!! It's not a diet for everyone but I'm not giving it up!!

Good job on the weight loss. I lost 120 pound by eating cookies and muffins. So I will gladly take yours.

You realize the improvements in your health are because of the weight loss right?

tides57 · March 2016

Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant! Many lols!!

karinholmrandall · March 2016

You are a writing and comic genius! Expresses my feelings almost exactly about being on keto for almost 2 years. I wish I had more to show for the sacrifice I make daily -- but not perfectly. Age has a way of making everything a bit more difficult and less satisfying. I mean if I had started when younger, the results would be easier to achieve and the benefits greater and easier to maintain. But hen again, I did not have the emotional ability to follow keto when I was younger. Now I do it for anti-cancer and anti-Alzheimer's reasons.

85Cardinals · March 2016

funny original post!

kmanrique321 · March 2016

I know the weight loss was the biggest contributor to my health gains but one thing I learned researching my diabetes & arthritis is that refined carbs like breads & cereals are quickly converted to glucose in the body so they spike my blood sugar then my sugar crashes lower than before so the body pumps out more sugar & triggers cravings for carbs. Eating Paleo removes the glucose roller coaster by eliminating the refined carbs & grains. It also helped with the weight loss but I noticed an improvement in my blood sugar in only a couple weeks. The doctor started reducing my meds in July after only 8 weeks on Paleo. Grains also contribute to inflammatory response so it eases my arthritis a little too. As for the Greek yogurt/ dairy, giving it it up made me realize I'm lactose intolerant (all my digestive trouble came back once I added it back in so it's gone for good). As for "eating healthy without following a plan," Paleo isn't a diet as much as it is a lifestyle. It's pretty simple: I eat food I like that's good for me. Yeah, a bagel tastes good but there's not a lot of nutrition for the calories. I'd rather have broccoli or cabbage- something more nutrient dense!, but yeah, if I want a bagel, I have one, although frankly, they just don't taste good anymore. Keep knocking it all you want- I know what works for me & I'm not missing what I gave up. Hope you guys find what works for you.