WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR APRIL 2016

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  • GRITSandSLUTSandWINOS
    GRITSandSLUTSandWINOS Posts: 2,573 Member
    I'm married to the same man for going on 44 years in August. I fell in love with his voice before I even looked up to see his face; still feel the same way. Always have, always will. He is my 'rock'; I'm his 'balloon'. We do a lot together and we do a lot separate. There are just things that one enjoys; that the other doesn't. We plan our 'away time' at the same time. We take all 3 of our DGDs that live next door on a long weekend to the beach. w
    We've gone to Atlanta for the weekend (and we've enjoyed that trip); but, they really prefer to go to Villano Beach, FL near St. Augustine. I always want to go to 'Old Town' so I can pick up another flamingo to add to my collection.

    I like a vinegar-based 'hot' BBQ sauce. Grew up eating BBQ that way. I have to taste the sauce before I agree to having it put on my BBQ in the first place. I also like hand-rubbed seasoning. My DOS can grill BBQ ribs that fall off the bones. Yummy! Both my DOS and DYS are 'great cooks'. DYS lives in Louisiana ... so Cajun Cuisine is one of the things he has mastered. His chicken, sausage, duck gumbo is to 'kill for'. We usually bring some of it home with us.

    I de-cluttered my bookshelf at the end of my counter where I keep my cookbooks; I decided after doing it (straightened it up mainly) that I need to go through it again and actually throw some of that stuff on it away! That mood hasn't hit me yet; The only thing I need to do in MBR is under my bed. Hoping that DH will hurry up and finish the glassed-in porch. Supposedly, he is going to see about a door and get a carpenter he sometimes works with to come out and hang it. At this point; if he will just fill in the cracks and insulate it; I'd be thrilled for the carpenter to finish it off.

    We have a bad case of 'carpenter bees' ... Hell on a wooden house. When DOS picked up his turkey; they had 'carpenter bee' traps for sale. He bought one for us. Look simple to make. Box that hangs from a chain with a Mason jar in the bottom; and holes the size of a carpenter bee drilled into each side. We hung it up Saturday AM and the jar is covered at the bottom. $15 each; I think my DH could make some for out house to hang all around it from scrap wood and I have plenty of mason jars.
  • CSSJ09
    CSSJ09 Posts: 296 Member
    Rats- lost my reply. Here we go again.

    Sylvia the turnip flowers pics were lovely. It is good news that you are recovering so well and getting out to enjoy the spring. They remind me of the sunflower fields in Bulgaria. Such happy flowers.

    Anne how nice for your friends that you cook for them. I liked your description- giving love through acts of service. I can see it.

    Margaret I agree that distance is sometimes the best answer. Life is too short for depression and anger.

    Larissa It is sad that there was no spark. However, Congratulations on getting the courage to plunge into dating.

    MicheleThe FDA and DEA have suggested medication disposal instructions. Some med school are so dangerous that they cannot be put into kitty litter or coffee grounds and then in a sealed plastic bad or box. States also have disposal requirements and return programs. Some do get flushed rather than camouflaged and put in trash. These tend to be the controlled substances or other strong, bad actors with real potential to harm others for whom it is not prescribed. The best thing is to check with pharmacy and state Web site.

    AllisonIt just sounds like the family is thankful for your help.

    Heather I really hope you have a good time with DS. It sounds promising.

    Katlawhat a nice day.

    I was depressed and on my way to versatile. With Michele's encouragement, I ended up under calorie limit even without exercise. Thanks, Michele.


    Thank you all for the wedding invitation advice. I am not going- with no guilt.

    CJ.



  • MightyLolo
    MightyLolo Posts: 504 Member
    CSSJ09 wrote: »
    Larissa It is sad that there was no spark. However, Congratulations on getting the courage to plunge into dating.

    Thank you all for the wedding invitation advice. I am not going- with no guilt.

    Thank you, CJ. I'm glad I did it. :smile:
    And good for you, not going to the wedding. It's an invitation, not a summons.
  • jmkmomm
    jmkmomm Posts: 3,247 Member
    .
  • janetr7476
    janetr7476 Posts: 4,001 Member
    edited April 2016
    Chris in MA who has stars in her eyes. Wrote:

    "Ok, I'm ready to spill about my trip to Newport, RI with PB (potential boyfriend). I'm sure the neighbors were talking about the tall, dark and handsome man who picked me up in the Porche. When we got to Newport we discovered that it was Daffodil Day and there must have been a million daffodils in bloom. The weather was sunny and we enjoyed walking around the beautiful, quaint town with the scent of daffodils everywhere. He was not raised in the United States and has a continental charm and impeccable manners. He would always take my hand as we walked and he was always on the street side, open doors, put my coat on and off, etc. He is extremely intelligent and has some interesting talents. We talked constantly, he loves good conversation, thinks it is extremely important, and said that one of the things he likes about me is our great conversations. He makes me feel like a queen, I can't stop smiling when I'm with him. He must be feeling something too because within 1/2 hour of dropping me off he sent me a message thanking me for a wonderful time and saying that he enjoyed every moment with me. Sigh....the romantic movie continues...I think his status may go to BF (boyfriend) soon."

    This is so much fun!! I'm sitting here grinning ear to ear. Jack and I met on line. The first date we went to dinner and a movie. He walked me to the house and kissed me goodnight (we had talked on the phone every night for almost a month by that time, couple weeks online before that). After the kiss he said your eyes are sparkling, I said guess who put that sparkle there. We've been together ever since, over 9 years now. You go girl, enjoy it and have fun. By the way, he brought me flowers the first date too, not a rose tho :)

    Janetr OKC

  • cityjaneLondon
    cityjaneLondon Posts: 12,712 Member
    Of to London today! :D<3

    Type to ya later!

    Heather UK
  • grandmallie
    grandmallie Posts: 10,097 Member
    Morning ladies~
    well I went to bed at 4 pm last night slept until 7:30 was awake until after 10:30 woke up at 5.. this stuff has settled in my chest and I have to work as only assistant today from 8-5 .. then I will come home and pass out.. sorry not to talkative today
  • KJLaMore
    KJLaMore Posts: 2,847 Member
    Good morning all! Happy Monday! Weather in my area has been beautiful, sunny and mid to high 70's. I spent a good part of the weekend doing yard work and being busy outside. Raked the yard for sticks and twigs. Got under the pines that line the back yard and raked up all of the needles and cones. Picked up all of the rocks that the kiddos play with in the yard and put them back in the rock bed. Picked up all of the outdoor toys (balls, Tonkas, pails and shovels). Cleaned up my stairwell that leads to my basement and discovered two dead mice (Ew!) and a stray rambling rose shoot growing between the stairwell boards. Pulled it out (got a good portion of the root) and replanted it on the south side of the house. Also got the inside of my house clean, laundry, etc. It was nice to be able to pull my throw rugs out into the open air and beat the heck out of them and get them really clean. Writing what I did down, makes it seem like I was busier than I actually was, but it really didn't seem to take long. About 2-3 hours Sat and Sun. But of course after all of the outdoor work, my nose and throat are not feeling great. I imagine it's the pollen, dust, mold etc. Then I ate more "salty" foods this weekend than I normally do (Chinese food and brats). So I was awake about every hour last night needing water. Anyway, feels good to get things done. Next weekend, I will be burning the sticks collected (along with our "burn file" papers), raking the front lawn once more to get rid of thatch, cleaning out the gutters, and de-mousing my shed.
    Miriam-you mentioned using pine needles for compost around roses? Is this correct? Like the fallen, brown (older) needles? Can they be used around any other plants? I have started saving my egg shells and started a little mini compost bucket. I am using a Home Depot orange mixing bucket that has a tight lid, so I can roll it to mix it. Should I be shredding my veg matter before putting it in there?
    Allie- Hope you feel better!
    Chris- your date sounds like a romantic movie! He sounds wonderful! Good for you and keep having fun!
    Sylvia- So good to see you are easing back into your life and art! I am sure you will be throwing again soon. I LOVED the turnip field pics! I never knew that they grew such beautiful flowers!
    Rori- Your snowy picture looks gorgeous! I like all seasons; although that much snow this close to spring would definitely burst that "springtime" bubble for me! IN regards to Hawaii, I have never been; but if I went, I would seek out the quieter spots and avoid the main island (maybe save it for a day trip or fly over). I have been to a few places in the Caribbean and know that I prefer the "unknown" spots.
    Michele- we have septic also and have always been very careful with what we put down our drains/into our pipes. When my sister came up to visit and help cook for my daughters grad open house, I could have killed her. She poured a pan of grease down my drain and then also sent a lot of melted chocolate down a little later. If she does this at her own home and has no problems, I don't know. But about a week after the open house, I had to have a plumber out to snake out the drains. Ugh! Your healthy cookie recipe reminded me of a "cookie dough" dip made with chick peas...I haven't made it in a while, but that was a hit with family and daycare. I will have to find it and make it again.
    Lenora- Congrats on the smaller size!
    Anne- Your lasagna sounds delish! Who can resist a really good home made lasagna?! My daughter talks about love languages all of the time. I need to read the book. Not knowing what the other identifiers are for the other options, I would say service is a good chance of being mine also.
    Cheri- Hope your dh hears something about a job soon! Interviewing and waiting for response is SO hard!
    BArbie- I never went to any of my class reunions because I felt like I was the "loner" and never really stayed in touch with any of my friends from high school. I was kind of surprised when I reconnected, face to face, with a half dozen girls from high school, that I had found (or they found me) on facebook. They were surprised that I felt so invisible in school. They always thought that I was so popular and outgoing. I guess it just goes to show that even in the midst of a crowd, you can still feel all alone. I remember high school as being a very lonely and angst filled time.
    Margaret- I totally understand where the author is coming from when she talks about needing to put distance between you and a "toxic" person. Unfortunately for me, this person is my younger sister. I was really hoping for more connection between us when she found out about her brain cancer, but as much help as I gave financially, physically and emotionally; it still wasn't enough for her (and she was getting support from many family members). It took a LOT of meditation on this for me to understand that she was always a "bucket taker". Always taking from some ones "bucket", never replenishing or giving in return. No, I take that back, she did give, but what she gave was "poison" and ruined the giving for me. It hurt and made it impossible for me to give anymore to any one for a while. I had to empty my bucket and be around people who could fill my bucket again. All of you ladies are part of my team of "bucket fillers". You inspire, support, give advice and kindness and have helped to fill my bucket and make my life more joyful! Which according to Marie Kondo, you spark joy; so I will keep you all! Thank you, ladies!
  • miriamwithcats
    miriamwithcats Posts: 1,120 Member
    KJ, pine straw is the old needles that fall. It is a great mulch since it does not decompose as fast as other leaves. But it does not make good compost because it does not decompose. It can be used as mulch around any plant. Also, remember that compost needs air, so after you roll your mini-composter around, be sure to leave it open! That is why it is important to turn a compost pile- to get air to all of it. Aerobic decomposition does not smell bad. Anaerobic decomposition reeks! (Anaerobic means no air.) You don't need to preshred what you put in a compost pile, but it does speed up the process.

    Off to take my littlest one to the doctor for a checkup for her ADHD meds.
  • margaretturk
    margaretturk Posts: 5,258 Member
    MightyLolo wrote: »
    CSSJ09 wrote: »
    Larissa It is sad that there was no spark. However, Congratulations on getting the courage to plunge into dating.

    Thank you all for the wedding invitation advice. I am not going- with no guilt.

    Thank you, CJ. I'm glad I did it. :smile:
    And good for you, not going to the wedding. It's an invitation, not a summons.

    I need to remember this.
  • GRITSandSLUTSandWINOS
    GRITSandSLUTSandWINOS Posts: 2,573 Member
    B)
  • Lagopus
    Lagopus Posts: 1,016 Member
    KJLaMore wrote: »
    All of you ladies are part of my team of "bucket fillers". You inspire, support, give advice and kindness and have helped to fill my bucket and make my life more joyful! Which according to Marie Kondo, you spark joy; so I will keep you all! Thank you, ladies!
    KJ - This had me giggling fit to beat the band but you're absolutely right!
    /Penny

  • csofled
    csofled Posts: 3,022 Member
    :)
  • exermom
    exermom Posts: 6,530 Member
    Did 40 minutes of an Amee Nicotera DVD for the lower and upper body. I truly thought it was a longer DVD. Anyway, the plan for tomorrow is to do a Prevention Strong and Slim DVD. We shall see what that one's about, its a new one for me.

    Today is one of those busy days for me. I go to the church and count the donation money, then we go to the soup kitchen to drop off the donations I got from the church yesterday, then senior bowling, home for dinner, then ceramics, then mahjongg, then home to collapse

    Chris - oh, that PB sounds heavenly. He'll become a BF pretty soon I predict.

    MightyLoLo - don't worry, I predict there will be juicy details coming in the future from Chris!

    Lenora - I didn't grow up with a vinegar based BBQ suace, and the first time I had it, I thought it was the most horrible thing on the earth. Guess it's a lot of what you're used to, and I wasn't used to this at all.

    Anne - I'm the same way, I love to cook for others and get a lot of joy seeing them enjoy the food.

    CJ - glad I could be of help with the calorie count. Good for you not going to that wedding!

    You know, people responded to things others wrote and I didn't remember reading about that. Well, today I logged in and before MFP would take you to your last post. Only now it doesn't. So that's probably why I've missed some things

    KJ - I hear ya about the dead mice. Sometimes we'll get one in the pool. I've gotten it out with the leaf catcher and just thrown it away. There are times when it's in the skimmer. Usually I'll let Vince dispose of that one. As long as I can't see it, I'm OK. Isn't it just maddening when someone puts grease down the drain? I have to constantly remind Jess that we're on a septic so the grease has to go in the jar.

    Miriam - we used to live in Kennett Square, PA -- the mushroom capital of the world (seriously, look in the stores, a lot of the packages of the mushrooms you see will be from Kennett Square). Anyway, the first time they turned over that soil from those farms, I honestly thought there was something wrong with our septic! After a while you sort-of get used to the smell.

    Going to post this and see what MFP does next time I log in.

    Michele in NC
  • margaretturk
    margaretturk Posts: 5,258 Member
    edited April 2016
    Reflections:

    Kelly I understand how painful it can be to cut yourself from a family member. I have an older brother who is difficult.

    Lerner the author of The Dance of Anger cautions that cutting yourself off completely can generate an underground anxiety that can pop up unexpectedly. I believe what she is talking about is forgiveness for that person. I do forgive my brother, but I do not trust him. I can be civil to him. A close relationship is not in the cards. That is okay.

    I agree with her to think carefully before you act when anger. Anger wants me to propel forward quickly. I know how well that has worked in my life. NOT! Observing and reflecting are the first order of business. I know I have said this before but I need this reminder. Mark Twain when he was angry gave it three days. If he was still angry at the end of that time he would make a decision about what to do about it. Wise man.

    She also recommend making changes within relationships that are not so intense before moving onto to those filled with anxiety and major conflict. I am doing this with the friend I talked about. I am moving very slowly with my DS.

    Some of her key points to think about if something is making me angry:
    1. If staying silent on an issue breeds resentment or bitterness it is best to speak up. It can be as simple as I don't like that.
    2. Again try to give myself space rather than rush into the fire of the conflict.
    3. Good questions to ask myself when I am trying to sort out my feelings What is the real issue? Where do I stand? Who is responsible for what? What will or will not do? (What are my limits?) Is it worth all this energy?
    4. Avoid what I call the blame and persecution game.
    5. Use I language and be specific in a request. Honor when the request is not given. It never hurts to ask and a pleasant surprise might be in store.
    6. Sometimes the choice is being right or happy. I like happy.
    7. Avoid arguments that go nowhere like is wheat bread more nutritious than white. My roommate in college goaded my into this argument for fifteen minutes. It went no where.
    8. Others are responsible for their own behavior and feelings not me.
    9. Avoid third parties. Only muddies the water.
    10. Hit and run confrontations rarely make lasting change. If they happen just accept emotions got the best of me. Dust myself off and try again.

    She does give me many points on which to ponder.
  • Peach1948
    Peach1948 Posts: 2,473 Member
    Lenora ~ I'm sure the BBQ you mentioned is Fresh Air. I wish the one in Jackson had easier access for wheel chair folks. I would love to take my mom there. The last time we went, we had to go back to Indian Springs and eat in the park. There is now one in Macon that I could take her to but we loved Indian Springs.

    Chris ~ So glad your new male friend has worked out so well. He sounds like a catch.

    Margaret ~ You are right about stepping back before engaging in an angry outburst. After my father passed away, I got very upset over the will that he left and lashed out at one of my brothers. My relationship with my brothers will never be the same because I lost my temper and said some very awful things. I have apologized in writing to all but there is still an uneasy undercurrent.

    KJ ~ You had a very productive weekend.

    Beautiful day here!

    Carol
  • pipcd34
    pipcd34 Posts: 17,269 Member
    mikesmom - AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!!! I CAN'T STAND IT!!!!!!!!!!!.... where's he from, what country, what does he do for a living... how tall is he... DETAILS, DETAILS.... what color are his eyes....


    oh yeah, morning peeps
  • Marcelynh
    Marcelynh Posts: 974 Member
    edited April 2016
    So we are major flooding today. 20 inches of rain so far with more rain expected over the next three days. Falling at times at a rate of 4.5 inches per hour. The bayou and flood system can handle about 2 inches per hour but this down pour has overwhelmed it. The bayou behind my house is out of its banks on the opposite side. Hopefully it won't come over on our side. My house is up 4 ft but the garage would fill. I want my sunshine back.

    Marcelyn
    Underwater in Houston.
  • Katla49
    Katla49 Posts: 10,385 Member
    Leonora: Your post today made me happy. I loved reading about things that you like. :smiley:

    Margaret: I very much appreciate your list of things to think about when something is creating angry feelings. It seems that The Dance of Anger is a very valuable book. I particularly like number three: "What is the real issue? Where do I stand? Who is responsible for what? What will or will not do? (What are my limits?) Is it worth all this energy?" I need to go through this group of questions to achieve clarity when I face either a conflict or a decision. I also need the reminder about avoiding the blame game & hit and run confrontations. :heart:

    Carol: My mom had a number of pithy sayings, and your comment about engaging in an angry outburst reminded me of one of them. "Too soon old, too late smart." I didn't get it when I was younger, but I sure do now. My regrets are mostly of things left unsaid or undone. I also understand the value of learning a lesson and moving on without beating yourself up. I can't go back for a "do over." I would certainly do over a number of things if I could.:broken_heart: I hope your relationship with your siblings eventually heals. :flowerforyou:


    Last night I spent about half an hour watching little fish jumping in the shallows near the edge of the river. I think they were smelt and may have been getting ready to spawn. I probably stood there for half an hour watching the show they put on. None of the predatory birds that feed on small fish were around. I think it was past their bedtimes. :bigsmile:

    Katla in Beautiful NW Oregon

    Tibetan proverb: "The secret to living well and long is: Eat half, walk double, laugh triple and love without measure..."

    “Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.” Thomas A. Edison
  • lhannon062709
    lhannon062709 Posts: 1,140 Member
    Sylvia, you just keep enjoying your life, don't worry about us. That said, thank you for letting us know you're OK. You stay on my mind, my dear...

    Rori,
    and anyone else around Denver, my absolute sympathy for the April snowstorm. Thus my residency in West Texas. Just sayin'.

    Lenora,
    thanks for the question on the warehouse. "Pickers" is a good way to put it, but if all this works the way we're all hoping, won't have to spend a dime for the stuff I sell, and should at least make back my expenses from this trip (if things sell, of course). With a trailer that is twice as long and eight feet high, should be able to quadruple or quintuple the sellables. And, I still get to declare my mileage, hotel rooms, etc., on each trip on my federal taxes next year. We will be sending my sis and her husband ten percent of whatever we make from everything. They protested that we were already saving them money, as they have to pay by the pound to dump stuff, but I'll make sure they get rewarded. They'll be putting in work to get things sorted and loaded for us, and need to be paid for that.

    Chris in MA, so pleased for you... trying hard not to say "please be careful," like an old worrywart... But PLEASE be careful. I genuinely hope he is everything he purports to be!

    Got back yesterday afternoon, unloaded the truck and helped the DH put back the fence panels that had been torn down by the wind. Got home about 7 last night.

    This morning, I just finally to the point where I can move my eyes to read and my fingers to type, so I have to go finish my weekly article and get it to the newspaper. That will be my last responsible act of the day. I feel like crap on a cracker, and have the headache from hell. All sinus, it shifts when I bend or move. I so seldom feel like ca-ca, and am hoping a few more sinus meds and a nap will put me back in fighting form.

    Love y'all,
    Later, Lisa, back in West Texas, where it's rainy, wet and cool.
  • GRITSandSLUTSandWINOS
    GRITSandSLUTSandWINOS Posts: 2,573 Member
    Michele in NC - I'm sure that it is a BBQ sauce that is regional. I don't like a 'sweet' sauce. When I go to a BBQ place I asked to be shown which bottle the vinegar-based sauce is in. I also put 'hot sauce' on mine, too. I've always grown up with 'hot & spicy BBQ'. It's an acquired taste.

    Margaret - My issue that makes me angry is my DDnL#1; who I have forgiven (or tried to). She is a 'divisive' person, whose self-esteem (and maybe even self-respect about things) is 'in the tank'. Not my problem and I won't allow it to be. She compares herself with DDnL#2, DYS, her struggle with her weight (although she is on a 'diet' ) - something she has tried before and lost interest in it and gained back the weight plus some. She's not willing to do anything that changes her lifestyle. Although she is walking at lunch time every day (weather permitting). While I don't agree with her about her 'diet' ... she has lost enough to be 'noticeable'; but, DOS does not want us to say anything ... she'll take it wrong and would probably quit. She's said 'nothing' about the 40+lbs I've lost. She's said (before going on the diet) that she weighed 240lbs. Then she changed it to 280lbs. I don't 'trust' her; in late November, she sent me an email that dredged up 16+ years of how she thinks I have treated her. Old news and I 'thought' we were well past it. She's used her last 'slip' as far as I am concerned. Only problem is that 'she is the gate keeper over our seeing the DGDs. Thankfully, they are all old enough to make their own decisions about coming over and visiting. I'll be 'polite' to her; but, not very talkative ... I get tired of her 'bitching' all the time. She's always so 'negative'; therefore, for my 'sanity' I avoid her as much as possible.

    Welcome to all the 'newbies', past, present and future.

    Lenora
  • pipcd34
    pipcd34 Posts: 17,269 Member
    well peeps, I'm done with my single digit runs, next time will be 10mi, double digits. my legs are feeling it a little more than usual and I am pretty sure it's because of the 1# ankle weights on part of the mileage.

    even though my legs are a lil tight, you know I've got to ride home from work today.... it's supposed to be 84!!! ahh the joy!!!!, i'll ride slow... I keep telling myself that at least.

    Kirby got a lil emotional yesterday. he said he didn't know if he wanted to wait until he was 66 to retire because he wouldn't be spending as much time with me if he did, he had tears in his eyes.. I said we have the rest of our lives together.. he mentioned that he wanted quality healthy time with me and said that he wanted a lot of time cuz he was going to die first. I told him, "didn't you know? we're going to die together. you didn't get the memo?" it made him laugh... I am so lucky to have him.
  • mikesmom1983
    mikesmom1983 Posts: 582 Member
    Good Morning Ladies!

    Wanted to pop in quickly, this week will be extremely busy at work because my employee is on vacation this week and I am chief cook and bottle washer.

    In the midst of all the great stuff happening with PB, there has been an undercurrent of sadness. You may recall that my mother is in a facility in NJ. She had a couple of small strokes in the past couple of months and is not doing well at all. She had to be moved from the assisted living portion of her life center to the last and final unit which is the nursing unit. She is unable to feed herself because the stroke impared the portion of the brain which allows her to process that she sees, or take basic care of herself. There may be some visual imparement which makes it more difficult but there is no way to tell. She can speak and has some mobility but she is mostly in a wheelchair. I will be going to see her on Saturday and I know that nothing can prepare me for what I will be facing. When I saw her in January she was still able to take care of herself, going to meals and socializing. My sister, with whom I have an extremely strained relationship with, lives in NJ and a nurse, so she has taken over being the advocate for my mother. She said that she wasn't fully prepared for the drastic downturn. I am grateful that my sister and I have been able to put our personal differences aside while dealing with the care of our mother. We are trying to preplan for the inevitable funeral. I was on the phone earlier with the cemetery and I got pretty emotional. We have a younger sister who has totally checked out of the family, she won't even respond to my sister's emails, at least she'll respond to my texts. It's very sad that the 3 sisters don't speak at all. There is alot of anger and resentment there and I know it hurt my mother.

    Back to work.
    Chris in MA
  • nb1959
    nb1959 Posts: 97 Member
    kq9t49ezgfhf.jpg

    What a beautiful way to start the day.
  • Katla49
    Katla49 Posts: 10,385 Member
    .
  • nb1959
    nb1959 Posts: 97 Member
    I wonder if my experience can help anyone out. I was abused as a child from about age 5 to age 15, using legal definitions of these terms. At 57, I am in a peace-filled place. Here is what I have learned about toxic people and situations. Avoid labeling them. Simply say, "This is where they are in their life, and this is where I am." Observe the situation and do not judge anyone. After making your observation about them and the current situation, love yourself by making the best decision you can make about how much you will choose to interact with them. Then (and this is the key), take action by loving let go. Say (to yourself), "Sister, Father, Mother, Friend, Relative, I wish you peace and love but I choose not to be a part of your life right now." No big drama, no big announcement. Someday, they may change, you may change, the situation might change, but for right now, lovingly let go of what or who is causing you pain. I lost Mama to Alzheimer's not long ago (not my biomom, my mom in law who loved me.) This is how I did it. I lovingly let her go, and the aching loss subsided. It is how I am letting go of my sister, who was raised in the same house with me, and knew what was happening to me. I have to let her go right now, because it is what is best for both of us right now. No big announcement, no drama, just a subtle change in my approach. Perhaps some day, something will change and a relationship can develop. But I stay in the here-and-now with my loving family and friends and a deep abiding faith that brings me such joy and peace. I sure hope this brings comfort to those who are sick, sad, lonely, angry...the real toxin is not people. The real toxin is negative thoughts and feelings, and I know...I lived in all of the emotions you associate with abuse for a very long time. Three years of equine therapy have made all of the difference in the world, and I am at peace.
  • The_Changling
    The_Changling Posts: 18 Member
    I am glad I read this post, I was a little bit worried if I am the only oldtimer here. :-)

    I would like to join this group. I am in my early 50's and just started my weight loss journey. I am at Day 2 of my new life.

    I posted this in a different (wrong) thread:

    I am not just here to lose weight; I am here to become healthier. My immune system is fighting against me. I have an autoimmune disorder (RA) and what and how I eat, has a lot to do with it.
    The movie, “Fat, sick and nearly dead” was an eye opener for me. This guy was sick like I am; he juiced for a while, rebooted his system and continued a normal life with a healthy diet.
    “Will it work for me as well?” I want to do give it a try so badly. I have nothing to lose, but so much to gain. I am in my early 50’s but I feel like an old women. I have to hold on to the rail when I walk upstairs, I have to hold on to the shopping cart when I go grocery shopping.
    I am not hungry for food; I am hungry for a better life…still I continue to eat and eat more. I have to lose 100 lbs…is that even possible? Maybe I am just fooling myself.
    Yesterday, on Sunday, I woke up hungry as always with big plans for a big breakfast. I started cooking, but then I changed my mind. I got all the vegetables out of the fridge and I made my first juice. I juiced 6 apples, 1 bunch of celery, a bundle of kale, ginger and 3 cucumbers. All the juice for one day was made and ready… now I just had to stick to the plan.
    And I did…I joined my husband at the table, watched him enjoying his big breakfast and I sipped my juice. I drank another big glass for lunch and the last one for dinner.
    Today is Day 2 of my new lifestyle and I wish for strengths. I had no idea I could feel that hungry and so alone without my beloved food.
    I want to juice for about 30 days, under supervision of my doctor. I have nothing to lose…but everything to gain. If I am wrong and it doesn’t work, then I will be willing to pop pills for the rest of my life.
    If I am right, well then I will live a pain free life without medications.
    I will try anything and everything to reboot my system and get my health back like so many people before me.
    I could use some friends on my side.
  • cityjaneLondon
    cityjaneLondon Posts: 12,712 Member
    edited April 2016
    Hi all.!
    Been having my cuddles with a very coldy, snorty Bea. :D We picked up the kids from school and the childminder. Bea is sleeping so I've got 2 minutes to type as DH is playing "jails" upstairs. One of DGS 's favourite games. :p
    DGD was scared by a thunderstorm last week and was telling me all about it. She asked me "Are you brave?" I said I was about thunderstorms, but not about some other things. :)

    DH has agreed to the Fully Escorted option for Mexico. :bigsmile: He said, "I don't have much choice, do I." No, he doesn't. :laugh: I am not acting as guide and direction finder all holiday and being scared to death and frustrated. Hooray!

    Love to all, Heather UK
  • Pollance
    Pollance Posts: 28 Member
    Thank you for the jump start suggestions everyone!

    Katla, my thoughts are with you and your family. It is a horrible experience to go through, but hopefully everyone will be able to come to accept it in their own way. After my daughter died and my son was killed, I thought about how I was going to continue. I decided that I would work to make them proud of me, even though I couldn't see them anymore. That provided the focus that I needed to cope, and I had the opportunity to do some amazing things to help others in the scope of my work. I share this as an option for the future that worked for me.

    Larissa, so sorry that things didn't work out with MP. Consider it a practice run!

    Chris, so happy for you! He sounds wonderful, and wow, what a great idea to go to Newport! He must have a romantic streak too. We've always got next year for the Pats, and who knows, maybe the Sox will get it together soon??

    Rori, great pictures, but so happy I'm not there. Hope spring comes your way soon!

    Michele, I share your predicament. My one cat Ginger immediately takes the warm spot in the bed when I get up. I'm not as kind as you though. When I come back, I move her to a cold spot and take my warm spot back, since there aren't any options for another potential warm spot.

    Cheri, fingers crossed that hubs receives an offer soon!

    Since eating 1000 or less calories a day, growing gills from the > 8 glasses of water/day and daily gym workouts together have yielded the sum total of 0 pounds lost in 1 1/2 weeks, I decided to try a Zumba DVD that I purchased months ago and still sat in its pristine wrapper. The first DVD in the set is instructional re the movements required. Lesson learned...I'm FAR less coordinated than I was 20 years ago! The cats had a good laugh watching me try to follow the instructors (who were going slowly), and I tripped over my feet. Will try the instructional DVD again, then attempt the real one. I'd like to be good enough to join the Zumba classes at the gym without injuring the person beside me!
  • Peach1948
    Peach1948 Posts: 2,473 Member
    Pollance ~ Do you have a food scale to weigh your food and measuring cups? I can't understand why you would not lose weight on that amount of calories. As Katla says, "Calories in vs. Calories out." I have been out of control lately. Not measuring and not logging. Need to get back to that.

    Noreen ~ You have a very wise outlook. I am glad that you are feeling healed.

    Heather ~ Have fun with the babes.