Unhelpful comments

MynameisChester

Parents can really be wonky people haha! I had a friend who's dad was a nurse. His dad felt nursing was the single best career in the whole universe (his dad like many other parents can be very close minded at times). Well my friend is currently a very successful teacher that specializes in special education, and his Dad STILL wants him to become a nurse.

I guess you need to ask yourself, is your Dad's opinion really the cornerstone of your weight loss success? In other words, if your Dad magically stopped saying those hurtful comments, would losing weight become significantly easier for you?

The fact of the matter it can be INCREDIBLY and maybe IMPOSSIBLY difficult to change someone's attitude/behavior, especially someone who is a Doctor. Of course my friend REALLY hated that his Dad was like that, but over time, he learned that his Dad wouldn't be changing any time soon. Instead he REDIRECTED his efforts by surrounding himself with ambitious teachers, studied hard, and made a great career with himself.

Honestly, it is highly unlikely your Dad will not stop saying those comments, but you have plenty of people here who are cheering for your weight loss success. Too many times, people spend their efforts on activities that produce low value results. For example, if fat loss is the main goal people, spend all their efforts doing endless amount of cardio until their blue in the face (low value), instead of redirecting their efforts to eating right and adopting healthy eating habits (high value). If my friend spent all his time convincing his Dad, he wouldn't be successful.

Please do not be those people who work so hard on the things that do not produce results. You'll always be angry and frustrated. You've already acknowledge your Dad's comments. Now it's time to move on, get all the help you can from this forum or any other positive influence, focus your efforts on your eating habits/behaviors, and I guarantee you will be successful! Good luck!

saralthrash

Growing up my mom used to say very hurtful things to me about my weight. "Your stomach jiggles," "you're getting big," you don't want to be as fat as your friend do you," you need to do something," "jeez Sara suck it in or something". This was near daily through my childhood. She also would only order pizza if I was staying at a friends house and when the family went to fast food i could only eat a salad. Those aren't necessarily bad things but it kind of made me feel isolated and left out. She herself was big and her mother died at an early age due to obesity. I know that she was concerned but the treatment was borderline emotional abuse. The reason I tell you this is because a parents comments can greatly affect your self-esteem and it can take years to recover. After moving out I gained about 80 lbs. I ate freely and over indulged because I was finally free from judgement and restrictions. Not her fault but an effect of the treatment. At 27 I still battle negative thoughts about myself that I know stem directly from what she said to me. I look back at photos from that time and I was curvaceous and beautiful and growing up I had perceived myself as a fat slob and not worthy of affection. I didn't respect myself the way a young lady should.

My point is respectfully tell your dad how it makes you feel and start healing. Hearing negative things about yourself daily will begin to alter how you see yourself. Secondly, take care of your body now, you only have one and there's a long life ahead of you. Taking care of yourself will improve your body image and you will feel so much better about yourself. You are only 18 and it will never be as easy to take off weight and get fit as it it right now. Trust me

Lovee_Dove7

sparklydragons wrote: »

Lovee_Dove7 wrote: »

Just curious how tall are you? Do you have a goal weight in mind?

I'm 5'2" so I'm aiming for at least 130, preferably 110 though

Okay, that is reasonable! Best wishes on your efforts, I hope you find peace in your relationship at home with your dad. Hope you can make the most of whatever your advantages are right now, and see your way through the challenges....challenges and difficult people will always be around you, so this is a growing opportunity. I want to encourage you to be respectful to your dad and make the most of the support and education you are offered right now. Not to be preachy, but consider the challenges of some of our greatest heroes, like George Washington Carver, a humble man with great challenges and great virtue! He's inspiring and his life gives good perspective.

getitamb

I hated statements like this. Until one day I realized that they were tacky but right. I wish my parents would've been more like that with me as a child. I would never have gotten overweight. When people see you succeed, they'll start asking how. I promise.

astrampe

Are you seriously using my son and youthful looks to directly attack me and infantile me? You are out of line and lacking in common courtesy. Op came here for help and advice and I gave it based on what she posted. Don't wish me good luck with my son or growing up. That is condescending, rude, and not helpful to the op.

I never mentioned your "youthful" looks my dear, I was talking about your behaviour - and the reaction to me wishing you luck just proofed my point of you turning a simple comment into "emotional abuse". And I will never use children - all I said is that I hope your son never does to you what you are advocating someone else's child to do to her parent....