Craziest food pusher story?
Replies
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I've been on both extremes (very thin, and now obese), I took "hey your getting too thin, or eat something" as a compliment, I much rather have someone say your getting too thin, then your getting too fat any day- in my personal opinion. Society wants you to be thin "thin is in", I would rather be looked at what looks good to our society, then what doesn't.
Sigh0 -
Yeah I'd rather be too thin too, but being badgered about it...insulted about it, there's a difference. You can tell when someone is admiring your thinness and when someone is being mean... I realize sometimes it's jealousy, but just because you feel bad about yourself shouldn't be an excuse to try to make me feel bad...
I have feelings too, dammit!!! LOL!0 -
DoreenaV1975 wrote: »Yeah I'd rather be too thin too, but being badgered about it...insulted about it, there's a difference. You can tell when someone is admiring your thinness and when someone is being mean... I realize sometimes it's jealousy, but just because you feel bad about yourself shouldn't be an excuse to try to make me feel bad...
I have feelings too, dammit!!! LOL!
Or maybe they are trying to do it out of the kindest of their heart. Some times it may sound like ill intentions, but a lot of times friends and family means well. Unless their out right saying horrible names.0 -
SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage wrote: »I've been on both extremes (very thin, and now obese), I took "hey your getting too thin, or eat something" as a compliment, I much rather have someone say your getting too thin, then your getting too fat any day- in my personal opinion. Society wants you to be thin "thin is in", I would rather be looked at what looks good to our society, then what doesn't.
Sigh
Sigh its the truth, many people feel the same way.0 -
I've been on both extremes (very thin, and now obese), I took "hey your getting too thin, or eat something" as a compliment, I much rather have someone say your getting too thin, then your getting too fat any day- in my personal opinion. Society wants you to be thin "thin is in", I would rather be looked at what looks good to our society, then what doesn't.
I agree with this. If someone is having a conversation and then stops to say, "oh nevermind, you're too pretty to understand" are they really insulting you? Do you feel awful that they just called you pretty?
In my experience people just "pick on" one another for all sorts of things. Like maybe they will joke that you weren't even born when something happened, or maybe they will joke you can't remember what happened yesterday now that you are an oldtimer. But in general, people would rather be mocked for being thin than fat, or young than old. I used to have a guy that would tease me I was wealthy. I have no idea where it came from, if we were in the breakroom sometimes with another person he'd make comments that I was too busy taking care of my millions of dollars or something to that effect. When he first started doing it I was sort of offended. But I realized he came from a culture where acquisition of wealth was not only very much a positive but maybe more openly lauded than it is in western cultures. And I'd rather have him teasing me about my imaginary millions than about how fat I am or how old I'm getting, you know? I think when skinny people get teased, it's either meant in a positive/supportive way, or yes sometimes the people are jealous.0 -
Yeah, I KNOW the difference.
And when it's from the people I know are complimenting me I say "thanks"! When it's the other people, yeah I'm not so nice to them...0 -
My gram. She's awesome, but I think you could use her as the food-pusher poster child.
I don't get upset with her though. She's in her late 80s and grew up very, very poor. Like, no-food-in-the-house-for-days poor, so she really does have her own reasons for feeling that if she doesn't SEE you eat it, you must not have eaten. Granted, she and my grandfather have had plenty to eat for the last 60 years, but things like that are just bound to shape you so, I politely tell her I just ate and take the beverage she offers and we go from there. Plus, my son and SO are always good for scarfing down her cakes and cookies so I can pawn them off on her. And they don't have any weight issues whatsoever so I don't feel bad. LOL0 -
blues4miles wrote: »I've been on both extremes (very thin, and now obese), I took "hey your getting too thin, or eat something" as a compliment, I much rather have someone say your getting too thin, then your getting too fat any day- in my personal opinion. Society wants you to be thin "thin is in", I would rather be looked at what looks good to our society, then what doesn't.
I agree with this. If someone is having a conversation and then stops to say, "oh nevermind, you're too pretty to understand" are they really insulting you? Do you feel awful that they just called you pretty?
In my experience people just "pick on" one another for all sorts of things. Like maybe they will joke that you weren't even born when something happened, or maybe they will joke you can't remember what happened yesterday now that you are an oldtimer. But in general, people would rather be mocked for being thin than fat, or young than old. I used to have a guy that would tease me I was wealthy. I have no idea where it came from, if we were in the breakroom sometimes with another person he'd make comments that I was too busy taking care of my millions of dollars or something to that effect. When he first started doing it I was sort of offended. But I realized he came from a culture where acquisition of wealth was not only very much a positive but maybe more openly lauded than it is in western cultures. And I'd rather have him teasing me about my imaginary millions than about how fat I am or how old I'm getting, you know? I think when skinny people get teased, it's either meant in a positive/supportive way, or yes sometimes the people are jealous.
LOL I don't know. When my sister and I are having a discussion, I will often stop, pet her head, and say "you're so pretty". In that context, definitely NOT a compliment.0 -
SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage wrote: »blues4miles wrote: »I've been on both extremes (very thin, and now obese), I took "hey your getting too thin, or eat something" as a compliment, I much rather have someone say your getting too thin, then your getting too fat any day- in my personal opinion. Society wants you to be thin "thin is in", I would rather be looked at what looks good to our society, then what doesn't.
I agree with this. If someone is having a conversation and then stops to say, "oh nevermind, you're too pretty to understand" are they really insulting you? Do you feel awful that they just called you pretty?
In my experience people just "pick on" one another for all sorts of things. Like maybe they will joke that you weren't even born when something happened, or maybe they will joke you can't remember what happened yesterday now that you are an oldtimer. But in general, people would rather be mocked for being thin than fat, or young than old. I used to have a guy that would tease me I was wealthy. I have no idea where it came from, if we were in the breakroom sometimes with another person he'd make comments that I was too busy taking care of my millions of dollars or something to that effect. When he first started doing it I was sort of offended. But I realized he came from a culture where acquisition of wealth was not only very much a positive but maybe more openly lauded than it is in western cultures. And I'd rather have him teasing me about my imaginary millions than about how fat I am or how old I'm getting, you know? I think when skinny people get teased, it's either meant in a positive/supportive way, or yes sometimes the people are jealous.
LOL I don't know. When my sister and I are having a discussion, I will often stop, pet her head, and say "you're so pretty". In that context, definitely NOT a compliment.
My fiance tells me I'm pretty to distract me from when I point out he did something not so smart...1 -
SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage wrote: »blues4miles wrote: »I've been on both extremes (very thin, and now obese), I took "hey your getting too thin, or eat something" as a compliment, I much rather have someone say your getting too thin, then your getting too fat any day- in my personal opinion. Society wants you to be thin "thin is in", I would rather be looked at what looks good to our society, then what doesn't.
I agree with this. If someone is having a conversation and then stops to say, "oh nevermind, you're too pretty to understand" are they really insulting you? Do you feel awful that they just called you pretty?
In my experience people just "pick on" one another for all sorts of things. Like maybe they will joke that you weren't even born when something happened, or maybe they will joke you can't remember what happened yesterday now that you are an oldtimer. But in general, people would rather be mocked for being thin than fat, or young than old. I used to have a guy that would tease me I was wealthy. I have no idea where it came from, if we were in the breakroom sometimes with another person he'd make comments that I was too busy taking care of my millions of dollars or something to that effect. When he first started doing it I was sort of offended. But I realized he came from a culture where acquisition of wealth was not only very much a positive but maybe more openly lauded than it is in western cultures. And I'd rather have him teasing me about my imaginary millions than about how fat I am or how old I'm getting, you know? I think when skinny people get teased, it's either meant in a positive/supportive way, or yes sometimes the people are jealous.
LOL I don't know. When my sister and I are having a discussion, I will often stop, pet her head, and say "you're so pretty". In that context, definitely NOT a compliment.
Bahahahahahahaha! Or if someone says "You're lucky you're pretty" in the context of : "cuz you're not very bright!!"0 -
DoreenaV1975 wrote: »SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage wrote: »blues4miles wrote: »I've been on both extremes (very thin, and now obese), I took "hey your getting too thin, or eat something" as a compliment, I much rather have someone say your getting too thin, then your getting too fat any day- in my personal opinion. Society wants you to be thin "thin is in", I would rather be looked at what looks good to our society, then what doesn't.
I agree with this. If someone is having a conversation and then stops to say, "oh nevermind, you're too pretty to understand" are they really insulting you? Do you feel awful that they just called you pretty?
In my experience people just "pick on" one another for all sorts of things. Like maybe they will joke that you weren't even born when something happened, or maybe they will joke you can't remember what happened yesterday now that you are an oldtimer. But in general, people would rather be mocked for being thin than fat, or young than old. I used to have a guy that would tease me I was wealthy. I have no idea where it came from, if we were in the breakroom sometimes with another person he'd make comments that I was too busy taking care of my millions of dollars or something to that effect. When he first started doing it I was sort of offended. But I realized he came from a culture where acquisition of wealth was not only very much a positive but maybe more openly lauded than it is in western cultures. And I'd rather have him teasing me about my imaginary millions than about how fat I am or how old I'm getting, you know? I think when skinny people get teased, it's either meant in a positive/supportive way, or yes sometimes the people are jealous.
LOL I don't know. When my sister and I are having a discussion, I will often stop, pet her head, and say "you're so pretty". In that context, definitely NOT a compliment.
Bahahahahahahaha! Or if someone says "You're lucky you're pretty" in the context of : "cuz you're not very bright!!"
EXACTLY
One of the funniest "compliments" I've heard was pretty house, nobody home0 -
My little sister was trying to convince me that chocolate syrup on French bread was delicious, and offered me a bite. I wasn't thrilled at the idea, and said no. She pushed it in my face, until I tripped back and fell against the wall. When my jaw dropped from the shock of her being so pushy, she literally stuffed the chocolately bread into my mouth.
It was all in good fun and we were laughing hysterically, but yes, that is the craziest food pusher story I have.
I'm glad mine wasn't as unpleasant as some of the others I'm seeing in this thread! 0 -
SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage wrote: »A lot of cultures equate food to showing love. In most cases, food-pushers aren't doing it to be mean.
My BIL yells at his mom after about the 4th time she offers him something, and I can see her face drop. It hurts her feelings and it breaks my heart to watch. I would much rather say "no thank you" 1,000 times than hurt someone's feelings who means well.
This is true and this is me.
As for the mom and cheesecake thing, I would have ordered the cheesecake and let her have a bite. Then I would have left it on the table otherwise untouched. My mom would've picked up on the cue and not asked again.0 -
This person yesterday kept pushing me to eat crab. Oh it's soooo good, we have it both hot and cold! 5 crabs later...0
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SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage wrote: »DoreenaV1975 wrote: »SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage wrote: »blues4miles wrote: »I've been on both extremes (very thin, and now obese), I took "hey your getting too thin, or eat something" as a compliment, I much rather have someone say your getting too thin, then your getting too fat any day- in my personal opinion. Society wants you to be thin "thin is in", I would rather be looked at what looks good to our society, then what doesn't.
I agree with this. If someone is having a conversation and then stops to say, "oh nevermind, you're too pretty to understand" are they really insulting you? Do you feel awful that they just called you pretty?
In my experience people just "pick on" one another for all sorts of things. Like maybe they will joke that you weren't even born when something happened, or maybe they will joke you can't remember what happened yesterday now that you are an oldtimer. But in general, people would rather be mocked for being thin than fat, or young than old. I used to have a guy that would tease me I was wealthy. I have no idea where it came from, if we were in the breakroom sometimes with another person he'd make comments that I was too busy taking care of my millions of dollars or something to that effect. When he first started doing it I was sort of offended. But I realized he came from a culture where acquisition of wealth was not only very much a positive but maybe more openly lauded than it is in western cultures. And I'd rather have him teasing me about my imaginary millions than about how fat I am or how old I'm getting, you know? I think when skinny people get teased, it's either meant in a positive/supportive way, or yes sometimes the people are jealous.
LOL I don't know. When my sister and I are having a discussion, I will often stop, pet her head, and say "you're so pretty". In that context, definitely NOT a compliment.
Bahahahahahahaha! Or if someone says "You're lucky you're pretty" in the context of : "cuz you're not very bright!!"
EXACTLY
One of the funniest "compliments" I've heard was pretty house, nobody home
Never heard it said like that... that's funny!
The only person allowed to say stuff like that is my husband! And he actually says it a lot, but that's cuz he's my husband... otherwise, yeah that's not cool! LOL!
For the record, I'm "book smart" but not "street smart" and he's the opposite, so that's why he says it.
In that case I KNOW it's all in good fun even if it is partially true, Hahahahahahaha!0 -
ShodanPrime wrote: »This person yesterday kept pushing me to eat crab. Oh it's soooo good, we have it both hot and cold! 5 crabs later...
Lucky for you, crab is very low in calories! As long as it's not drenched in butter...
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My partner was a food pusher. He's one of the reasons I ended up 20lbs overweight. I'd maintained my weight 118-128 my whole life, into my forties, no problem. He shows up and he wants to eat out constantly, ordering everything from soup to nuts. I've been poor before so I have a really hard time wasting food or wasting an expensive bottle of wine.
When I became concerned about my weight he continued bringing home my favorite desserts night after night. I started throwing them away. Sometimes when he wasn't looking, I'd pretend I'd eaten it. Eventually, I threw it away right in front of him. He just wasn't listening. Now, he knows better.
But I'm guilty of doing what your friend did - sometimes I feel like people are saying "no" just to be nice or not inconvenience me, so I'll put food out even if they've declined and they can take it if they wish. Of course, I don't plop a bowl right in front of them - I'll put a few things in the middle of the table and not mention it again. But I can see where this is offensive - especially now that I'm on a diet.0 -
I have colleagues who are food pushers. I remain firm by saying, "No, thank you. I'm not interested."
I eat LCHF, so I really don't want to eat the foods they offer anyways. I think some of it comes from not being educated in my WOE, even though I have explained to them that I don't eat wheat or sugar, but I am quite sure one of them doesn't know what a carb is....
Real Life Situation:
Colleague: Here, try some of this bread.
Me: No, thank you. I don't eat bread.
Colleague: But it's brown bread. It's healthy.
At that point, I just repeated "No, thank you" and turned around.
That being said, Asian cultures are food pushers as well.0 -
pootle1972 wrote: »The next someone who dares take.my food I'm stabbing with my fork.
I'm ashamed to say I've actually done that. I was out with a group of work colleagues and one guy who's known for being a bit of a tightwad said he didn't want any lunch. The rest of us ordered and the greedy git immediately started helping himself from people's plates. He made a move on my plate and grabbed a piece of scampi. So I stabbed him and he dropped it. Hey I'd logged it and had made sure it fitted into my calorie allowance for the day.0 -
at my work we have this new hire tradition where the new person comes in to the office with cookies they've baked. We're a pretty fast growing lil company and sometimes there are cookies 1-2 times a week. Without fail every time I introduce myself but refrain from taking a cookie, I can tell that the person is clearly offended, which of course isn't my intent. Sometimes you just have to have the awkwardly harsh "no" moment.0
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Im am suppose a bit of a food pusher my daughter claims the main things i tought her growing up was dont talk to strangers , be careful crossing road and offer drinks and snacks to anyone who comes into house... even meter readers get offered a coffee or cold drink .. have a coffee get offered a cake and anyone visiting longer than an hour will get offered a sandwhich some soup etc but i never get offended if people say no its just our brand of friendlyness .
My mum knows im trying to watch my weight so now if i visit the left overs etc that would have been pressed on me get offered for 'the wee dog'
My other half recovering from an eating disorder and when mum 1st met him he was severely under weight he now normal weight but you see the worry in mums eye if he refuses a snack when offered0 -
I've spent some time with people of a few different cultures with different norms around communicating offers.
Sometimes it's hard to tell if someone is saying "no thank you" just to be polite, and they (I) want to make sure their guests know that yeah, I'm really offering, you should take some if you want it, I'd love for you to share what I have. So putting it in front of the person (you) is a way of making sure the offer is understood as sincere.
In some cultures a guest is sort of expected to say no two or three times before finally "giving in" even if they want the thing from the beginning.
I think it's possible that if you'd said to melon mom that hey, thanks so much, you really appreciate the offer, but you just don't feel like melon, or chocolate, right now, she would be comfortable hearing that. If you felt like it wasn't too much of an overshare, you could even let her know that you're watching your intake and would she mind putting the chocolate away?
I guess I can totally see myself in melon mom's shoes. Wanting to be liked, wanting to be a nice host, wanting to be generous and attentive, and not really sure how you communicate or how comfortable you feel. I'd have been happy to hear you say, "No thanks, I'm watching my intake," so I'd know not to keep offering.
All that said, my kid is the worst food pusher ever. He goes to extreme lengths to cook elaborate, often fried, meals and snacks and is so damn proud of himself I don't have the heart to say no when he asks me to try some. He busts out the pouty lip and the "puh-lease?" and there go half my calories for the day.0 -
My dad was the first person I told about my ED, not because I felt he was the best choice or have a good relationship with him, but because he wouldn't and still hasn't stopped trying to guilt me into eating different things.
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I agree with this. If someone is having a conversation and then stops to say, "oh nevermind, you're too pretty to understand" are they really insulting you? Do you feel awful that they just called you pretty?
Hell yes, that's an insult. They just called you stupid!
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My grandmother was the biggest food pusher I've ever met.
Typical conversion with her:
Me: that was really good Granna!
Gran: There's some more if you want.
Me: No thanks, am stuffed.
Gran: Are you sure?
Me: Yes Granna. I wouldn't know where to fit it anymore.
Gran: But... wasn't it good?
Me: It was really good Granna!
Gran: So you will take some more?
Me: I'm sorry Granna, but I really can't anymore!
Gran: Then it wasn't good?
Around this time my head, or the head of who ever was her current victim, usually hit the table in defeat. No matter how she put it, she always turned it in such a way that made us feel guilty. We couldn't even be angry with her. Having grown up poor, she equated food as a measure of how much you were loved. The more food you give someone, obviously the more you love them. But we often despaired because although we didn't want to hurt her feelings, we didn't want to have to eat so much either.0 -
BruinsGal_91 wrote: »pootle1972 wrote: »The next someone who dares take.my food I'm stabbing with my fork.
I'm ashamed to say I've actually done that. I was out with a group of work colleagues and one guy who's known for being a bit of a tightwad said he didn't want any lunch. The rest of us ordered and the greedy git immediately started helping himself from people's plates. He made a move on my plate and grabbed a piece of scampi. So I stabbed him and he dropped it. Hey I'd logged it and had made sure it fitted into my calorie allowance for the day.
You I like. ....hope you got a new fork
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My mother in law always tries to push things on me.
MIL-Want some fudge?
ME-No thank you, I don't care for fudge.
MIL-How about some __________insert something I don't or can't eat.
ME-No, you know I can't eat that.
MIL-Why don't you bring some home.
ME-I don't keep that in my house.
MIL-You could have a little bit. It won't hurt.
ME-Yes it will. I'm Prediabetic, remember?
MIL- oh right, but a little won't hurt
Food is love over there. I tell her I appreciate the offer but no means no.0 -
pebble4321 wrote: »I agree with this. If someone is having a conversation and then stops to say, "oh nevermind, you're too pretty to understand" are they really insulting you? Do you feel awful that they just called you pretty?
Hell yes, that's an insult. They just called you stupid!
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If you ever visited my Itailian in-law's house you will witness the grand mafia of food pushers. They have been known to get violent if you refuse to eat. Manga-manga!! 0
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