How Making CHOICES Has Helped Me Lose Over 80 pounds.

godlikepoetyes

TR0berts wrote: »

I only regret that I have but one "Awesome" to give.

You are so nice!

hamstertango

godlikepoetyes wrote: »

dlmcgowan93 wrote: »

Well said! Can I have your permission to print this and keep close to me? I truly love the meaning and it is so applicable to me and many others. Thanks

Sure print it. Of course, I could make you buy my novel!

I was actually going to say you could write a book on this as you seem to have a gift for explaining the muddled mind of a person losing weight/battling with eating/food....etc.

lorrpb

Wow, you've done a great job of mastering the fundamentals of this process. Thank you for your honesty and thoroughness. Others might notice & comment on your physical change, but you KNOW it is the result of many internal changes. This is the hardest part. Keep up your AWESOMENESS!!!

janet6567

A friend on MFP recommended I read your post. Thank you for saying exactly what I feel.

betchy5

Thank you so much for sharing this. I Didn't realize how much I needed to hear this.

heather_j20

Great post!

verasgomes

I Loved your post! Amazing, truthful and inspiring

RonFrances8

Thank you!

jenngurl83

Right on loved this post!! Thank you!!

valerieuk1708

Thank you for this lovely post! Just what I needed to hear to carry on and make my choices ... Well said!

jeeplovin

Love, Love, Love your post!! Congrats

kb1927

Love this, content and style. My husband (the rock to my helium balloon) reminds me whenever I'm worried about failing at anything (marriage, motherhood, writing) that if I only show up every single day, I'll already be in the top 10%, just for being there and getting it done.

godlikepoetyes

It is so true. Just show up. I hate it, the simplicity of it. I fight against it, but it really isn't so difficult. I wake up every single day, thank God. And all I have to do is show up.

Lauriebeebelewis

Love your post!!! I get it! I did this for a long time and have always tracked my food daily!! As I get older I have a harder time with it. I'm a carb addict so I've found that eating less carbs during the week is better. I look at my eating lifestyle by the week and plan for what ever might be coming up that I need to compensate for. I never have a cheat day but if I go over then the next day I'll go under. Mom always said "don't play with your food". Who knew Mom's advice would end up being a metaphor!! xox

sfsoccermom2

Great post! So needed this today.

brb_2013

Hearts_2015 wrote: »

nicely shared! Thank You

godlikepoetyes wrote: »

Yes, getting there mentally. I still struggle with it and I suspect I always will. But I have taught myself to not beat myself up when I fall short of what I'm shooting for. I'm so used to punishing and depriving myself--being kind to myself is such a relief.

This is great, something I'm working on myself right now, your thread came at a great time.

I'd like to shout my adoration for this post and you from the mountain tops. This is so beautiful written and so very appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to put your process to paper (err... screen), I too have been making these mentality changes and I'm feeling so much better for them all. I hope others read this and take a bit of it to heart as well

2011rocket3touring

Last time I was lean, I felt like the Terminator. Not in a bada** cyborg killing machine sort of way, but felt like I was an infiltrator. A fat person disguised as a lean person. Wondering when that german shepherd will sniff me out.

godlikepoetyes

brb_2013 wrote: »

Hearts_2015 wrote: »

nicely shared! Thank You

godlikepoetyes wrote: »

Yes, getting there mentally. I still struggle with it and I suspect I always will. But I have taught myself to not beat myself up when I fall short of what I'm shooting for. I'm so used to punishing and depriving myself--being kind to myself is such a relief.

This is great, something I'm working on myself right now, your thread came at a great time.

I'd like to shout my adoration for this post and you from the mountain tops. This is so beautiful written and so very appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to put your process to paper (err... screen), I too have been making these mentality changes and I'm feeling so much better for them all. I hope others read this and take a bit of it to heart as well

I'm so glad you found this helpful! Glad you are making the mental changes, too.

typeitdaily

godlikepoetyes wrote: »

After losing so much weight, I’ve had to buy new things and I often find myself trying on dresses, jeans and shirts, dress slacks and blouses. High heels. When I get dressed, I examine myself from all angles. I am very pleased. I am wearing wedges and a wrap dress. How very cute I am. Then I go out into the world and face the comments—You’re getting so skinny! You’re going to dry up and blow away! You’re melting! How did you do it? How much have you lost? What do you weigh NOW?

The comments are endless. They think they are helping, being nice. They aren’t. I am only confused. Exposed. My fat was like a lead mantle, protecting me from their probing gaze. Now I am becoming see-through. I feel as though I am on display, constantly judged and measured. I’m working very, very hard to stop listening to what everyone says. What they say, what they think-- it doesn’t really matter. I’m teaching myself to believe this. I want to be more than what I weigh, or how I look. I AM more.

I’m not exactly sure when I last weighed what I weigh now, but it’s probably been over fifteen years. When you’ve gained and lost and gained and lost and gained it all back and then gained a lot, lot more—well, your life is a solid blur of this. A blur of your body and food and numbers on a scale. Numbers on a scale and food diaries, begun in earnest, then discarded. A blur of self-help books on overeating, on miracle diets, on how to love yourself at any size. Then, somehow, there is no scale. There is only the gaining. And the black tunics with leggings. And big black shirts. And the sweat. The out-of-breathness. Avoiding the profile. Avoiding the photographs.

That I’ve broken free of this ongoing, maddening see-saw of existence is remarkable. I am watching my mother-in-law, once again, eating Nutri-System food. She doesn’t like the food. She weighs herself every day. The scale drives her crazy. She talks about her “diet” and her food constantly. She knows and acknowledges that she will gain it all back.

I refuse to gain it all back—I will show up every single day and record my food on MFP. Every day. Even when I know I’ve gone over by 1,000 calories. By 1,500 calories. Even when I’m just so busy I really don’t have the time. Even when I’m annoyed with the whole thing, the watchful eye, the diligence.

But the diligence, however annoying and tiresome, works. I’ve lost almost 90 pounds. I’ve been on this journey with MFP since last March. I’ve been incredibly successful.

When people ask me how I “did” it, they want me to tell them about the “diet” I’m on, probably expecting me to say “low carb” or “Paleo” or some other such nonsense. I’ve decided, after a few months of this dreadful attention to say, “I’m eating less.” Because I am. Eating less. Watching my food like a hawk. Showing up every single day.

After many years of counseling, I have begun to change my THINKING. That was the beginning. Now I know that EVERYTHING is a CHOICE.

Every time you eat something, you have made a choice. I used to eat things, stuff them in, and wonder why I did it. What was wrong with me? I don't even LIKE Twinkies. Obviously, I couldn’t control myself. I was “addicted.” I was an emotional eater. Surely I had an eating disorder. Surely I wasn’t “normal.” Now I don’t think this way. I whirled round and round inside my food “obsession” for years, but once I embraced the fact that everything in my life is a result of decisions that I have made, losing weight has become doable. And other things in my life make more sense too. I have several serious health issues, but I choose how to react to my ailments. I have limitations—there are things I just can’t do anymore, but I choose to either feel sorry for myself or look for other solutions.

I choose what to eat and what not to eat. It really is that simple. But I must pay attention. I must be aware and stay aware lest I return to my addled way of thinking. And I refuse to go back.

Here are some things that help me--

I do not say “exercise” and I do not say “diet.” Ever. I say “food.” And I say “move.” I’m careful to never use punitive language.

I do not play games with the scale. I weigh ONCE a week on MY scale. I place the scale in the same position on the floor. Every time. I weigh ONE time. My scale is the ONLY SCALE THAT COUNTS. I do not weigh at the gym. I do not weigh at other people’s houses. The doctor’s scale doesn’t count.

I eat ALL of my calories. I eat back my extra calories from swimming or walking or stretching or cleaning house. I eat what I want to eat. I do not “play” the numbers—no banking calories. No “cheat” days.

I eat often and I “front-load” my day--breakfast is often my largest meal and I never, ever skip it. I try to stop eating by 6:00 pm. I usually stop eating well before then.

I naturally drink a lot of water. I never drink sugary drinks and I have only a small amount of juice.

I ignore the latest “nutrition” advice. This can be hard, but once you realize that what shows up in the news, and what you watch on “documentaries,” is either very sketchy, very biased, or too preliminary to be of much use, it’s rather easy. In spite of what the “experts” claim, food studies are only approaching “accurate” when performed in a lab in a completely controlled setting. There have been very few such studies. And there are no “miracle” foods, no miracle diets.
There is only food--what you decide to eat and how much you decide to eat of it.

I eat my sweets. But I have become very aware of what I’m eating and I weigh the choices before I choose. If a protein bar will do it, I eat one. If the protein bar won’t do it, I eat a candy bar. If only a pastry will hit the spot, then I have a pastry. I pretty much know the calorie count of everything at this point so I can think to myself—500 calorie apple fritter or 280 calorie candy bar?

If the calorie count for a food on MFP is questionable, then I look it up on the restaurant’s website. Or I get it from the actual label. When I must guess, I tend to overestimate rather than underestimate.

I try not to get too obsessed with this whole process and as much as I can, I don’t talk about it when I hang out with friends (except my walking buddy who is also losing weight).

I allow myself to fail. I am in this for the rest of my life. The scale will go down. The scale will go up. I just need to show up. MFP works. And that little message at the end of each day provides excellent comfort and accountability—If Every Day Were Like Today.

This message makes it very clear that you would have to have a steady stream of 1,000+ calorie days to gain 8 pounds. But it reminds you, too, that you could easily wander off course.

You could obsess over your body, its imperfections. Its bulges. Its jiggly bits. You could deprive yourself of food until you find yourself having just finished a Baconator, two donuts, and a bag of chips, unsure of how you got there. You could play games with the scale—Oh, that can’t be right, Let me weigh again. What if I move it over here? What if I lean to the right? To the left? You could drive yourself batty. Or you could take food holidays until you realize it’s been two months since you recorded your weight. You could talk about your “diet” nonstop and annoy your friends who aren’t on diets. You could do all sorts of things to sabotage yourself or make yourself miserable.

Or you can choose to feel better. To do well. To succeed. You can embrace those jiggling wiggly bits. You can be proud and stand up straight. You can reach the top of the stairs without dying for breath. You can wear a blazer inside without sweating. You can turn sideways and look at yourself in the mirror.

And you can have that Baconator. You can have those donuts and that bag of chips. You can eat what you really want to eat. You can be very aware that all you’re doing is making choices, that you always have a choice to make. You always have options. This? This? Or That?

You can refuse to play games. You can try your damnedness to listen to yourself instead of everybody else. You can just be “okay” that you struggle with food. Why you struggle doesn’t matter so much. Change your behavior and the rest will follow. I used to think that was nuts. Now I know how very true it is.

Today, you can make a great choice. You can choose to show up. And tomorrow, you can decide to show up again. And again. Pretty soon you’ll have a whole string of days where you decided to show up. To pay attention. To make choices. And good things will happen.

So show up. And keep showing up.

`r.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!! I will never forget your words and " show up" going to be the two words I tell myself every day when my feet hit the floor.

godlikepoetyes

typeitdaily wrote: »

godlikepoetyes wrote: »

After losing so much weight, I’ve had to buy new things and I often find myself trying on dresses, jeans and shirts, dress slacks and blouses. High heels. When I get dressed, I examine myself from all angles. I am very pleased. I am wearing wedges and a wrap dress. How very cute I am. Then I go out into the world and face the comments—You’re getting so skinny! You’re going to dry up and blow away! You’re melting! How did you do it? How much have you lost? What do you weigh NOW?

The comments are endless. They think they are helping, being nice. They aren’t. I am only confused. Exposed. My fat was like a lead mantle, protecting me from their probing gaze. Now I am becoming see-through. I feel as though I am on display, constantly judged and measured. I’m working very, very hard to stop listening to what everyone says. What they say, what they think-- it doesn’t really matter. I’m teaching myself to believe this. I want to be more than what I weigh, or how I look. I AM more.

I’m not exactly sure when I last weighed what I weigh now, but it’s probably been over fifteen years. When you’ve gained and lost and gained and lost and gained it all back and then gained a lot, lot more—well, your life is a solid blur of this. A blur of your body and food and numbers on a scale. Numbers on a scale and food diaries, begun in earnest, then discarded. A blur of self-help books on overeating, on miracle diets, on how to love yourself at any size. Then, somehow, there is no scale. There is only the gaining. And the black tunics with leggings. And big black shirts. And the sweat. The out-of-breathness. Avoiding the profile. Avoiding the photographs.

That I’ve broken free of this ongoing, maddening see-saw of existence is remarkable. I am watching my mother-in-law, once again, eating Nutri-System food. She doesn’t like the food. She weighs herself every day. The scale drives her crazy. She talks about her “diet” and her food constantly. She knows and acknowledges that she will gain it all back.

I refuse to gain it all back—I will show up every single day and record my food on MFP. Every day. Even when I know I’ve gone over by 1,000 calories. By 1,500 calories. Even when I’m just so busy I really don’t have the time. Even when I’m annoyed with the whole thing, the watchful eye, the diligence.

But the diligence, however annoying and tiresome, works. I’ve lost almost 90 pounds. I’ve been on this journey with MFP since last March. I’ve been incredibly successful.

When people ask me how I “did” it, they want me to tell them about the “diet” I’m on, probably expecting me to say “low carb” or “Paleo” or some other such nonsense. I’ve decided, after a few months of this dreadful attention to say, “I’m eating less.” Because I am. Eating less. Watching my food like a hawk. Showing up every single day.

After many years of counseling, I have begun to change my THINKING. That was the beginning. Now I know that EVERYTHING is a CHOICE.

Every time you eat something, you have made a choice. I used to eat things, stuff them in, and wonder why I did it. What was wrong with me? I don't even LIKE Twinkies. Obviously, I couldn’t control myself. I was “addicted.” I was an emotional eater. Surely I had an eating disorder. Surely I wasn’t “normal.” Now I don’t think this way. I whirled round and round inside my food “obsession” for years, but once I embraced the fact that everything in my life is a result of decisions that I have made, losing weight has become doable. And other things in my life make more sense too. I have several serious health issues, but I choose how to react to my ailments. I have limitations—there are things I just can’t do anymore, but I choose to either feel sorry for myself or look for other solutions.

I choose what to eat and what not to eat. It really is that simple. But I must pay attention. I must be aware and stay aware lest I return to my addled way of thinking. And I refuse to go back.

Here are some things that help me--

I do not say “exercise” and I do not say “diet.” Ever. I say “food.” And I say “move.” I’m careful to never use punitive language.

I do not play games with the scale. I weigh ONCE a week on MY scale. I place the scale in the same position on the floor. Every time. I weigh ONE time. My scale is the ONLY SCALE THAT COUNTS. I do not weigh at the gym. I do not weigh at other people’s houses. The doctor’s scale doesn’t count.

I eat ALL of my calories. I eat back my extra calories from swimming or walking or stretching or cleaning house. I eat what I want to eat. I do not “play” the numbers—no banking calories. No “cheat” days.

I eat often and I “front-load” my day--breakfast is often my largest meal and I never, ever skip it. I try to stop eating by 6:00 pm. I usually stop eating well before then.

I naturally drink a lot of water. I never drink sugary drinks and I have only a small amount of juice.

I ignore the latest “nutrition” advice. This can be hard, but once you realize that what shows up in the news, and what you watch on “documentaries,” is either very sketchy, very biased, or too preliminary to be of much use, it’s rather easy. In spite of what the “experts” claim, food studies are only approaching “accurate” when performed in a lab in a completely controlled setting. There have been very few such studies. And there are no “miracle” foods, no miracle diets.
There is only food--what you decide to eat and how much you decide to eat of it.

I eat my sweets. But I have become very aware of what I’m eating and I weigh the choices before I choose. If a protein bar will do it, I eat one. If the protein bar won’t do it, I eat a candy bar. If only a pastry will hit the spot, then I have a pastry. I pretty much know the calorie count of everything at this point so I can think to myself—500 calorie apple fritter or 280 calorie candy bar?

If the calorie count for a food on MFP is questionable, then I look it up on the restaurant’s website. Or I get it from the actual label. When I must guess, I tend to overestimate rather than underestimate.

I try not to get too obsessed with this whole process and as much as I can, I don’t talk about it when I hang out with friends (except my walking buddy who is also losing weight).

I allow myself to fail. I am in this for the rest of my life. The scale will go down. The scale will go up. I just need to show up. MFP works. And that little message at the end of each day provides excellent comfort and accountability—If Every Day Were Like Today.

This message makes it very clear that you would have to have a steady stream of 1,000+ calorie days to gain 8 pounds. But it reminds you, too, that you could easily wander off course.

You could obsess over your body, its imperfections. Its bulges. Its jiggly bits. You could deprive yourself of food until you find yourself having just finished a Baconator, two donuts, and a bag of chips, unsure of how you got there. You could play games with the scale—Oh, that can’t be right, Let me weigh again. What if I move it over here? What if I lean to the right? To the left? You could drive yourself batty. Or you could take food holidays until you realize it’s been two months since you recorded your weight. You could talk about your “diet” nonstop and annoy your friends who aren’t on diets. You could do all sorts of things to sabotage yourself or make yourself miserable.

Or you can choose to feel better. To do well. To succeed. You can embrace those jiggling wiggly bits. You can be proud and stand up straight. You can reach the top of the stairs without dying for breath. You can wear a blazer inside without sweating. You can turn sideways and look at yourself in the mirror.

And you can have that Baconator. You can have those donuts and that bag of chips. You can eat what you really want to eat. You can be very aware that all you’re doing is making choices, that you always have a choice to make. You always have options. This? This? Or That?

You can refuse to play games. You can try your damnedness to listen to yourself instead of everybody else. You can just be “okay” that you struggle with food. Why you struggle doesn’t matter so much. Change your behavior and the rest will follow. I used to think that was nuts. Now I know how very true it is.

Today, you can make a great choice. You can choose to show up. And tomorrow, you can decide to show up again. And again. Pretty soon you’ll have a whole string of days where you decided to show up. To pay attention. To make choices. And good things will happen.

So show up. And keep showing up.

`r.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!! I will never forget your words and " show up" going to be the two words I tell myself every day when my feet hit the floor.

Yes! If you get up every morning, then you can SHOW up every morning!

Foggiblu

Excellent post! Thank you for sharing. I had back surgery a few months ago and gained 30 lbs. It is hard to believe the weight came on so quickly. Honestly, I binged for 3 months due to pain and stress. I look back at that blur of massive food intake and it's hard to believe I put all that food in my mouth for three months. It's time to put the food down!

Your post has given me hope as I start this journey. Congrats on finding your way with food and making a life long commitment to your health. I hope i can do the same.

zingers222

Awesome job! I've struggled with a lot of the same thoughts and patterns. Congrats for figuring it out and thank you for sharing.

jen_zz

LOVE this. Thanks for sharing.

"Today, you can make a great choice. You can choose to show up. And tomorrow, you can decide to show up again. And again. "

smiles4miles211

Thank you so much. I am trying to find the courage and fortitude to do this again, to make the CHOICES that must be made to get me where I want to be. The choice to go from "victim" to "victory". That might sound cheesy but your post reminded me that the choices lie with me. Thank you.

HealthyGma2

Thank you for your awesome insight! I needed this tonight! Sitting here beating myself up because I can't handle the low carb "diet" I'm on through a medical weight loss specialist. The program also involves a diabetes medication and appetite suppressant . They make me feel terrible. I want to eat normal food and stop the endless circle of diet after diet. Congratulations to you-your words give me hope!

godlikepoetyes

<Thank you so much. I am trying to find the courage and fortitude to do this again, to make the CHOICES that must be made to get me where I want to be. The choice to go from "victim" to "victory". That might sound cheesy but your post reminded me that the choices lie with me. Thank you.>

<Thank you for your awesome insight! I needed this tonight! Sitting here beating myself up because I can't handle the low carb "diet" I'm on through a medical weight loss specialist. The program also involves a diabetes medication and appetite suppressant . They make me feel terrible. I want to eat normal food and stop the endless circle of diet after diet. Congratulations to you-your words give me hope!>

Ladies, I am glad you are inspired. Just be kind to yourselves. Trust that you can make this work.

godlikepoetyes

Foggiblu wrote: »

Excellent post! Thank you for sharing. I had back surgery a few months ago and gained 30 lbs. It is hard to believe the weight came on so quickly. Honestly, I binged for 3 months due to pain and stress. I look back at that blur of massive food intake and it's hard to believe I put all that food in my mouth for three months. It's time to put the food down!

Your post has given me hope as I start this journey. Congrats on finding your way with food and making a life long commitment to your health. I hope i can do the same.

You CAN do the same! You know you can.

godlikepoetyes

2011rocket3touring wrote: »

Last time I was lean, I felt like the Terminator. Not in a bada** cyborg killing machine sort of way, but felt like I was an infiltrator. A fat person disguised as a lean person. Wondering when that german shepherd will sniff me out.

Its hard to believe that you've changed. I am often surprised when I look at my body now, especially in profile. When that German Shepherd comes, send him away!

dahliagrower11

A very insightful and introspective view of your personal journey. I am so happy to hear that the "food" and "move" were the drivers .... and real food as opposed to a million different prepackaged options... Kudos to you to be in a good place to be able to share your story! Very inspiring;)

azjanine

This touched me so deeply. Eight years ago I lost 105 pounds in 8 months the same way you describe. Hard work and determination. I was not prepared for all the attention I received. I could have written your post word for word. I felt like the people closest to me couldn't understand why all of a sudden I was so stressed about being "noticed". Unfortunately after a tramatic and unexpected move for my family, I gained back 65 pounds. I am starting back on my journey of "no games". Thank you for putting into words what has been heavy in my spirit for soooo long. I don't want to be afraid of success anymore. I needed this encouragement today, and all because I was searching for how much water to drink !!!! Lol