married chit-chatters?
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haha we had that talk with them numerous times...and then they told their mom that we told them that and all of a sudden we're bad parents for teaching the kids to keep secrets....UGH!0
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Cutaway_Collar wrote: »3 and 5 when you got married. That is a good age to bond with a new mom. Perhaps they will enmesh well if you have one on your own. I don't know. Stepkids are weird.
There's been good times and bad...times when they only made me Mother's Day cards and times when I got a mother's day card that said "evil stepmother, Erica"....(that was a weird one; I still have no idea who Erica is).
I think their mother makes it worse with being so petty and all up in our business, it definitely creates resentment that I don't like feeling towards the kids.0 -
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RavenLibra wrote: »I have been a step parent for 17+ years... the Stepson was 10 or 11when I met him with extreme ADHD... developmentally delayed.. with an IQ of around 80... He's just smart enough to think he is normal... emotionally he's about 12-14 years old...chronologically he's 29... up until about 5 years ago "fun" for him was playing cops and robbers with the rest of the 10 year olds in the neighborhood... and he has alcoholism and substance abuse issues... of course it is all my fault... As a step parent.. you learn to pick the battles worth fighting and leave the rest in the hands of the Creator.
That's good advice for any parent..step or not. Pick your battles, my son was also ADHD and he was good as long as he knew all the rules and they didn't change.0 -
She is remarried with another son, but clearly she's still a loser.0
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Guns_N_Buns wrote: »haha we had that talk with them numerous times...and then they told their mom that we told them that and all of a sudden we're bad parents for teaching the kids to keep secrets....UGH!
My only other advice would be *drink*
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Still married.0
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Guns_N_Buns wrote: »She is remarried with another son, but clearly she's still a loser.
She needs less free time and your husband needs call/text blocker1 -
DarleneReid577 wrote: »I'm sure it really depends on the kids and the other parent. I'm sure some try to make big deals out of things like Guns' seems to do. My cousin's set son was troubled...they stayed at our house while we were away and I found all these notes in my desk informing me he wanted to kill me and such
Wow that's scary.. did the get him help?
they were getting him help. We lost track of him when they divorced. My cousin ended up moving away to the states too so we don't really see her much and when we do we don't discuss that. haha1 -
Cutaway_Collar wrote: »How about inlaws? I am a mama's boy and my wife hates it. But my mom is a cool mom. She never interferes or does not live with us. She even has a language barrier as her English is broken. Girls love that kind of MIL.
During my wedding, I left the sweetheart table a few times to check on mom and ensure she has a good time and is not getting freaked out by the white people around her LOL. Someone put bad thoughts about that in my wife's head and to this day my wife holds it against me.
my first mother-in-law didn't speak much english. It was hard cause we couldn't really communicate
my current mother-in-law is annoying and always telling us how we are raising our child wrong. She also doesn't get the boy. He has ADHD and we treat it but she still thinks children should be seen and not heard. In my family children are the centre of attention so it's tough0 -
Cutaway_Collar wrote: »How about inlaws? I am a mama's boy and my wife hates it. But my mom is a cool mom. She never interferes or does not live with us. She even has a language barrier as her English is broken. Girls love that kind of MIL.
During my wedding, I left the sweetheart table a few times to check on mom and ensure she has a good time and is not getting freaked out by the white people around her LOL. Someone put bad thoughts about that in my wife's head and to this day my wife holds it against me.
my first mother-in-law didn't speak much english. It was hard cause we couldn't really communicate
my current mother-in-law is annoying and always telling us how we are raising our child wrong. She also doesn't get the bd my h7sbaoy. He has ADHD and we treat it but she still thinks children should be seen and not heard. In my family children are the centre of attention so it's tough
I married my husband not his mother. But she loved me anyways, but my husband was the baby so all his brothers and sisters were already married with grandkids.0 -
Cutaway_Collar wrote: »How about inlaws? I am a mama's boy and my wife hates it. But my mom is a cool mom. She never interferes or does not live with us. She even has a language barrier as her English is broken. Girls love that kind of MIL.
During my wedding, I left the sweetheart table a few times to check on mom and ensure she has a good time and is not getting freaked out by the white people around her LOL. Someone put bad thoughts about that in my wife's head and to this day my wife holds it against me.
I like my inlaws. I'm super close with my family, so I thought it strange that the hubby and his immediate family had a weird/distant relationship... for instance, they never said I love you to each other, his sister called her dad by his name and they just didn't seem like vocal/expressive people. But I kept poking my husband to say I love you whenever he was ending a call with his mom or dad and eventually it caught on...now they say it more to each other. His parents always seemed to like me. His grandparents referred to me as "the friend" in many a family photo, but that kind of *kitten* doesn't bother me.
I once dated an extreme momma's boy. He lived in the same complex, and the same floor, and literally right down the hall from his mom. One of our first dates, he invited her; that was one of our last dates. Not that I care to be around someone's mom, but it was a date. That's my time.
Edit: i think it's super cool/sweet that you checked on your mom. My wedding kind of went the opposite direction; I literally had a few family-member guests leave because they felt out of place with all the "white people". Needless to say, I'm not too close with THOSE family members.0 -
Married, 6 years September, it's been a ride. What do married people do for fun....does anyone vets have a clue?
Go out dancing a lot to events we find fun. I am a dancer, so I also explore a lot of dancing type of events and have shows to go to. Ice skating. Go to the movies (VIP 19+). Hiking a lot. Beach. Lake. Shopping for something fun for both of us and lunch. Occasionally we play some kind of game together, but it's not a frequent thing. Sex of course. Talking. Looking at the stars and planets.0 -
BinaryPulsar wrote: »Married, 6 years September, it's been a ride. What do married people do for fun....does anyone vets have a clue?
Go out dancing a lot to events we find fun. I am a dancer, so I also explore a lot of dancing type of events and have shows to go to. Ice skating. Go to the movies (VIP 19+). Hiking a lot. Beach. Lake. Shopping for something fun for both of us and lunch. Occasionally we play some kind of game together, but it's not a frequent thing. Sex of course. Talking. Looking at the stars and planets.
I always find it funny when couples go skating for fun...my husband refuses to skate with me and I used to be a skating coach
we like hiking, go for brunch every weekend, we visit the zoo a lot, museums, travelling1 -
Love this thread! Great idea!0
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BinaryPulsar wrote: »Married, 6 years September, it's been a ride. What do married people do for fun....does anyone vets have a clue?
Go out dancing a lot to events we find fun. I am a dancer, so I also explore a lot of dancing type of events and have shows to go to. Ice skating. Go to the movies (VIP 19+). Hiking a lot. Beach. Lake. Shopping for something fun for both of us and lunch. Occasionally we play some kind of game together, but it's not a frequent thing. Sex of course. Talking. Looking at the stars and planets.
I always find it funny when couples go skating for fun...my husband refuses to skate with me and I used to be a skating coach
we like hiking, go for brunch every weekend, we visit the zoo a lot, museums, travelling
Skating is usually something we do with our kids. But, I did figure roller skating as a kid. And we had a fun roller skating party at our college called roller-rama. Roller skating was big fun for us growing up in the 80's and early 90's, and ice skating every winter outside. I like recreation that is active. And any kind of fun twist on dancing, skating, etc.0 -
My parents split when I was 11, and my dad married the woman he was seeing on the side. While it was extremely tense, I didn't blame her for breaking up the marriage. In fact, she and I talked several times about it as I got older. Eventually, she and my dad divorced ~20 years ago, but I've kept in contact with her since, and send her a Christmas gift, birthday card, and a Mother's Day card every year, since, to me, she's still my step-mom. I feel bad since she has no children of her own, either, and hasn't remarried. My sister, on the other hand, wants nothing to do with her.
Dad has remarried again, but I refer to her as my dad's wife, not my step-mom. No animosity between us; just semantics.5 -
Thanks for sharing, Red. You're a good man for still giving her a chance.3
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