Difficult husband?

glovepuppet

Both my husband and I agree that we need to lose weight, but that is where our agreement ends. I want to give up soda and most fruit juices and make water our main drink. The problem is my husband doesn't want to drink water at all. I've told him how important it is but he just brushes it off.

I've tried not buying soda/juice but he just goes out and buys it if I don't.

Dairy is our other problem, the best he will except for milk is 2%. He won't drink skim and when I suggest something like soy or almond milk he flat out refuses it.

I've brought up the Paleo diet and am trying to learn more about it. I see one of the things is giving up bread. Again the husband loves his bread/sandwiches.

Does anyone else have a husband (or wife) who they feel is more like their child sometimes?! Any tips (i.e. sneaky ways to trick him into eating and drinking what I want without him realizing it...what? It's for his own good. :blushing:)?

if you dislike seeing him as a child then quit doing it! respect his choices and let him try his own way. why assume your opinion is so much more valid than his? he has as much right to drink juice as you have to drink water. if he doesn't sign up to the same latest diet 'thing' as you then he's childish?

i drink juice & semi skimmed milk, i eat bread and i'm slim and healthy.

quit being a control freak.

agdyl

It used to drive me crazy that my husband wouldn't cooperate with keeping junk food out of the house. When I was single, that was a big part of my diet/health plan - don't buy crap and I won't eat it. Well, he's not going to cooperate with that plan. I'm pretty much guaranteed that there will be donuts, pizza, popcorn, oreos, loaves of heavily buttered garlic bread, you name it. I've had to learn to have the willpower to have all that stuff in front of me and never touch it. And I'll be honest - moderation didn't work for me. If I have a little bit - to me it's almost impossible to stop at a reasonable amount. If I have NONE, I don't crave it anymore once I have had it out of my diet long enough, my reactions to the sight and smell of those things changed fundamentally.

But as far as worrying about his health goes - that part drives me crazy. He talks constantly about how he's going to lose weight. And then an hour later we're in the grocery store and he's buying donuts and pizza. I'm trying really hard to not say anything (pretty successful there) and not shoot him looks when he's picking out donuts (that's harder because I'm always seriously astonished that he can talk this diet game and then walk right over and buy donuts), but it's not worth arguing about. Clearly he doesn't actually want to lose weight and I can't make him want to.

MSeel1984

Sounds like your husband just got another stamp on his man card. I'd give him a high five right now.

No soda, no bread. Paleo diet. No way would I be up for this.
I was a vegetarian for years, when I got married I made a compromise to start eating fish. Where is your compromise? Might I suggest you buy a bottle of Diet Dr pepper and a frosty mug for your husband. Then a big peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
Then you can still have water and eat bacon wrapped mammoth or whatever Paleolithic man ate.:drinker:

Hey-I drink Glenlivet 18 neat...am I a man?! LOL

StardustZiggy

He won't have the diet version of anything. He also doesn't have to do things my way, which 99% of the time he doesn't.

TyTy76

I think that you're being a difficult wife...

patsimmon88

Work on yourself and maybe he will follow. He's a grown man, let him figure it out on his own.

missbp

This may not come out the way it is meant to, but why is this your problem? If you are both trying to lose weight and live a healthier lifestyle, does that mean that you need to be eating and drinking the same things?

It's fantastic that you and he are on the same quest, but weight loss is a personal journey. Motivate each other. Engage in a more active way of life together. Stick to a specific diet? I don't think so. Diet's fail. Diet's help people lose weight, but almost always, once the diet stops, the weight comes right back. Is that what you want?

This needs to be a lifestyle change. Forever. Changing unhealthy habits to good ones from now on. That is the recipe for success.

My point is, don't get hung up on dieting ie; eating and drinking X Y Z. Avoid fat and sugar. Get lots of exercise. Eat nutritious foods. Get enough rest. And yes . . . . drink plenty of water. These are healthy habits that will help you both lose weight and live a healthier life.

Good luck!
MB

rml_16

He won't have the diet version of anything. He also doesn't have to do things my way, which 99% of the time he doesn't.

I won't have the diet version of anything, either. It's usually disgusting.

chell53

My husband is not exactly difficult, I lost my gym partner and I wasn't going like I did in the past, so he said he would go with me and that is great, he knows he needs to lose weight and I have learned not to nag or try to change him. He eats what I cook maybe sometimes to much or more than I think he should but he is a man, I worry about him, but I also let him learn for himself....trust me your husband will change a little at a time just let him be himself and you take control of what you can control which is yourself!

3foldchord

He won't have the diet version of anything. He also doesn't have to do things my way, which 99% of the time he doesn't.

I won't have the diet version of anything, either. It's usually disgusting.

Same here, yucky tasting!
... And those fake sweeteners give me headaches sometimes.

BeachIron

He won't have the diet version of anything. He also doesn't have to do things my way, which 99% of the time he doesn't.

I won't have the diet version of anything, either. It's usually disgusting.

Agreed, and it's marketed to those who don't know better

upnorthtim

I don't drink skim either...it's awful (too sweet). The caloric difference between that and 2% is not that big. As long as you count it's no big deal. I have just the opposite problem...a wife who loads the house up with cookies, cakes and chocolate that neither of us needs.......

quirkytizzy

He won't have the diet version of anything. He also doesn't have to do things my way, which 99% of the time he doesn't.

I won't have the diet version of anything, either. It's usually disgusting.

That was going to be my reply as well.

stmcfred

Ugh. One of my biggest pet peeves is women referring to their husbands as "like raising another child". If you want him to be an adult let him act like one. He's not being child like, your being controlling. If he wants to drink pop and 2% milk let him.

Haima

Try giving him chocolate soy! It is so delicious : )

StardustZiggy

Honestly, you're the one sounding like a child and running off to the internet because your husband won't eat the way you want. Besides, real milk and juice are both fine. Paleo is pseudoscientific garbage.

Wow. I came to a fitness/weight loss sight for tips on getting my husband to eat healthier and so far that makes me controlling and a child?

rml_16

Honestly, you're the one sounding like a child and running off to the internet because your husband won't eat the way you want. Besides, real milk and juice are both fine. Paleo is pseudoscientific garbage.

Wow. I came to a fitness/weight loss sight for tips on getting my husband to eat healthier and so far that makes me controlling and a child?

Well, yes actually.

You're complaining that he won't do things exactly the way you want them done. That's controlling and childish.

CrankMeUp

Is he willing to log his food/drink?

jmwolffyy

I totally get where you are coming from. I think I understand that if you don't buy sodas, he will go out and buy a case and so it is still in your house. I also think that the next step to that is that it's there, so it is a temptation. Especially when he goes to grab a cold soda and drink it while you are chugging your (probably flavorless) water. I know in my mind, I would be growling about how unfair it all is! My hubby would go buy donuts and pastries almost every single morning whenever I was actively dieting. He would up his soda intake (normally he doesn't drink much soda - he prefers coffee and water). He basically seemed to completely flaunt his bad eating behaviors in my face. It always worked and I would lose track of the changes I was trying to make and fall right back into old eating patterns.
I recently had to do something because I got to a point where my health was becoming an issue. I chose to have bariatric surgery and the rules on that are pretty restrictive. I have had to make the lifestyle changes (and since I want to, it is easier to stick to) but he has been unable to derail me. The interesting thing is that the side effect is that my husband has finally stopped trying to flaunt food at me. I can barely tolerate sugar and I can't really have any dairy - both make me sick - so I honestly don't care if he gets a box of donuts now. Which seems to have had the effect of making him less interested in them. I know it's stupid and I honestly think he is completely unaware of his passive-aggressive behavior, but I also realized I HAD to make changes regardless of what he did or did not do.
While I am in no way suggesting that you need to make such an extreme choice, I am using my experience to highlight how hard it can be to fight against someone who is (subconsciously?) trying to make the healthy choices harder to make. There are a lot of suggestions on here that can help you make the changes you want in your own habits and odds are that as you make changes, and stick to them, he will eventually follow along. But I most certainly understand how DIFFICULT it can be to make and keep new habits! Finding a support system outside of your spouse may be a huge help - having someone who can hold you accountable (or at least make you feel like they do) can be a great motivator.
Good luck!

BeachIron

Honestly, you're the one sounding like a child and running off to the internet because your husband won't eat the way you want. Besides, real milk and juice are both fine. Paleo is pseudoscientific garbage.

Wow. I came to a fitness/weight loss sight for tips on getting my husband to eat healthier and so far that makes me controlling and a child?

Yes. You're also wrong about what constitutes "healthy" if you think you need to go Paleo.