Celibacy for a set amount of time

2456

Replies

  • strozman
    strozman Posts: 2,622 Member
    Everyone enjoys sex, but it's not going to kill you if you don't have it. I know exactly what you are talking about and I think you should try celibacy for a while. Maybe if you go without it for a while it will become more meaningful for you once you start having it again.
    Just focus your time and thoughts on other things. Don't let sex define who you are or complicate your life. :)
    That's it. It defines me. It complicates my life. But I worry if I take time off at the age of 40 that my opportunities are going to decrease significantly or stop happening altogether.
  • This content has been removed.
  • PurringMyrrh
    PurringMyrrh Posts: 5,276 Member
    edited May 2016
    Would you still...you know...not go celibate from yourself, or are you including even self...stuff?

    Because if that's still an option, I'm good for a hella long time off.
  • strozman
    strozman Posts: 2,622 Member
    kace_kay wrote: »
    I was voluntarily celibate for 2+ years. I was in a *kitten* place in my life and needed to take control. It was hard at first but after a about 6 months, it became easier. I had a high sex drive and it was incredibly difficult to pass up the opportunities that were given. After about a year, it was mostly second nature. It was frustrating to have my control tested... but in the end, it really helped me learn that I have control over my life and the things I do and that I can do anything I set my mind to with the right amount of willpower. I would promote it to you if you think it's something that would help you... but it's certainly not going to be fun.

    Control is what I'm seeking. Although I worry the number of opportunities will fade
  • strozman
    strozman Posts: 2,622 Member
    Would you still...you know...not go celibate from yourself, or are you including even self...stuff?

    Because if that's still an option, I'm good for a hella long time off.

    was thinking all. but I don't know. Anyway I failed twice tonight on the celibacy. Back on the wagon tomorrow
  • This content has been removed.
  • shakeirawhitney
    shakeirawhitney Posts: 74 Member
    I have been voluntarily celibate for a year and 2 months. I was in a 7 year relationship and when it ended decided to focus on myself before focusing on anyone else. It was a little rough at first but between work, being a single mom and working out it gets easier. I don't even mind the lack of sex because ultimately it was my decision to become celibate.
  • Dannigreen31
    Dannigreen31 Posts: 557 Member
    Me, doing it right now. Been difficult the entire time but I'm staying well away from men atm! Nursing broken heart
  • lilkimi525
    lilkimi525 Posts: 1,107 Member
    Well ... I would just never give it up... Period. I like it too much. For me.. Not so much the other person... It's awesome exercise not only for my body but my mind as well.... It's a good way to re charge and refocus. It's a great stress reliever.... And a good reason to pig out at 2 o clock in the morning after wards. If you get it early enough in the morning.... It always makes you have a better day.... Ahhhh no.... I can't really find a good reason not to do it. That's just a personal reason for me. But props to all of you going for your goals. Mine just seem to be on the other side of that coin... My glass seems to stay half full... And I like it that way!!!
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
    edited May 2016
    Well, I'm a Christian, and not married, so I can assure you that you can live celibate. It's not always fun, but it can be done.
  • strozman
    strozman Posts: 2,622 Member
    I have been voluntarily celibate for a year and 2 months. I was in a 7 year relationship and when it ended decided to focus on myself before focusing on anyone else. It was a little rough at first but between work, being a single mom and working out it gets easier. I don't even mind the lack of sex because ultimately it was my decision to become celibate.

    Glad it gave you what you needed.
  • strozman
    strozman Posts: 2,622 Member
    lilkimi525 wrote: »
    Well ... I would just never give it up... Period. I like it too much. For me.. Not so much the other person... It's awesome exercise not only for my body but my mind as well.... It's a good way to re charge and refocus. It's a great stress reliever.... And a good reason to pig out at 2 o clock in the morning after wards. If you get it early enough in the morning.... It always makes you have a better day.... Ahhhh no.... I can't really find a good reason not to do it. That's just a personal reason for me. But props to all of you going for your goals. Mine just seem to be on the other side of that coin... My glass seems to stay half full... And I like it that way!!!

    @lilkimi525 I understand. I haven't gone for it, as I failed yesterday. I just wanted a way to calm down the drama in my life. I have only had fb or nsa sex for so long that it's lost meaning to me. It stopped being fun like it used to be. I'm not exactly relationship material and I think maybe I'm just wanting closeness and intimacy with someone I might/possibly have the slightest chance of a relationship with. But I truly can't find that in my current life situation.
  • strozman
    strozman Posts: 2,622 Member
    Me, doing it right now. Been difficult the entire time but I'm staying well away from men atm! Nursing broken heart

    @dannijordan30 good for you doing the opposite of what most people do after breakups
  • strozman
    strozman Posts: 2,622 Member
    kace_kay wrote: »
    strozman wrote: »
    kace_kay wrote: »
    I was voluntarily celibate for 2+ years. I was in a *kitten* place in my life and needed to take control. It was hard at first but after a about 6 months, it became easier. I had a high sex drive and it was incredibly difficult to pass up the opportunities that were given. After about a year, it was mostly second nature. It was frustrating to have my control tested... but in the end, it really helped me learn that I have control over my life and the things I do and that I can do anything I set my mind to with the right amount of willpower. I would promote it to you if you think it's something that would help you... but it's certainly not going to be fun.

    Control is what I'm seeking. Although I worry the number of opportunities will fade

    Ehhhhh you're still a hottie I can't imagine it's going to fade like you think! Best of luck with whatever you decide!

    @kace_kayak thanks for the compliment, but I'm 40 and I can't imagine that they won't lol
  • strozman
    strozman Posts: 2,622 Member
    Well, I'm a Christian, and not married, so I can assure you that you can live celibate. It's not always fun, but it can be done.

    @jennifer_417 Religious conviction seems to help people refrain from a lot of bad things/habits, unfortunately I lack faith in anything really.
  • This content has been removed.
  • Just_J_Now
    Just_J_Now Posts: 9,551 Member
    I've nothing to add here. Interesting read though. B)
  • kota4bye
    kota4bye Posts: 809 Member
    Deployed a few times for 6-12 months, wife and I went through a rough spot that was another 8-9 months....that one was no fun and the temptation there to step out and get relief was VERY high.
  • NorthCascades
    NorthCascades Posts: 10,968 Member
    Of course. Whenever Beth and I go on vacation, we do without for a couple days immediately before the trip so we'll have more appetite for each other when we get wherever we're going.
  • peaceout_aly
    peaceout_aly Posts: 2,018 Member
    strozman wrote: »
    Thinking I might try this to clear my head. Any high sex drive people in here ever voluntarily go celibate for any significant amount of time (6 months-1yr)? And I mean voluntarily because you have a few options, not just some awkward FA, deployed, never tries or a person that is scared of rejection.

    If so how did you not become angry and mean during that period?


    Your thoughts gents and lasses?

    I would never try this because I would probably turn into the most evil chick ever. My SO always makes fun of me because I get grumpy as hell after a day without. Good luck though, and props for practicing self control. Will probably clear your mind a ton!
  • sanfromny
    sanfromny Posts: 770 Member
    My opinion- And I will say I am a highly sexual person!--You don't need sex to find connection with anyone. I think there is a beauty in celibacy. As woman who has had a child, the doctor will automatically put you out of commission for 6 weeks. Not only is this time for your body to heal from trauma but allows a bonding stage. I learned a lot during that period not only about my baby but about who I was as a wife and a mother. I wish you well with your decision.
  • strozman
    strozman Posts: 2,622 Member
    kota4bye wrote: »
    Deployed a few times for 6-12 months, wife and I went through a rough spot that was another 8-9 months....that one was no fun and the temptation there to step out and get relief was VERY high.

    Deployed I've always stayed sexless, but when I got back it was game on!
  • strozman
    strozman Posts: 2,622 Member
    Of course. Whenever Beth and I go on vacation, we do without for a couple days immediately before the trip so we'll have more appetite for each other when we get wherever we're going.

    I've played around with this kind of thing in a relationship, but it has been a while
  • kota4bye
    kota4bye Posts: 809 Member
    strozman wrote: »
    kota4bye wrote: »
    Deployed a few times for 6-12 months, wife and I went through a rough spot that was another 8-9 months....that one was no fun and the temptation there to step out and get relief was VERY high.

    Deployed I've always stayed sexless, but when I got back it was game on!

    yes post deployment, awesomeness, but plenty to keep you distracted. I was quite angry during the other evolution.
  • strozman
    strozman Posts: 2,622 Member
    strozman wrote: »
    Thinking I might try this to clear my head. Any high sex drive people in here ever voluntarily go celibate for any significant amount of time (6 months-1yr)? And I mean voluntarily because you have a few options, not just some awkward FA, deployed, never tries or a person that is scared of rejection.

    If so how did you not become angry and mean during that period?


    Your thoughts gents and lasses?

    I would never try this because I would probably turn into the most evil chick ever. My SO always makes fun of me because I get grumpy as hell after a day without. Good luck though, and props for practicing self control. Will probably clear your mind a ton!

    I have no self control @peaceout_aly

    I become the biggest ahole on the planet after 7-10 days and can't think straight.
  • strozman
    strozman Posts: 2,622 Member
    sanfromny wrote: »
    My opinion- And I will say I am a highly sexual person!--You don't need sex to find connection with anyone. I think there is a beauty in celibacy. As woman who has had a child, the doctor will automatically put you out of commission for 6 weeks. Not only is this time for your body to heal from trauma but allows a bonding stage. I learned a lot during that period not only about my baby but about who I was as a wife and a mother. I wish you well with your decision.

    I don't know, I feel like I do need sex for a connection
  • strozman
    strozman Posts: 2,622 Member
    kota4bye wrote: »
    strozman wrote: »
    kota4bye wrote: »
    Deployed a few times for 6-12 months, wife and I went through a rough spot that was another 8-9 months....that one was no fun and the temptation there to step out and get relief was VERY high.

    Deployed I've always stayed sexless, but when I got back it was game on!

    yes post deployment, awesomeness, but plenty to keep you distracted. I was quite angry during the other evolution.

    That's me too. Slightly more pissed off than the Hulk without it
  • williammuney
    williammuney Posts: 2,895 Member
    edited May 2016
    kace_kay wrote: »
    I was voluntarily celibate for 2+ years. I was in a *kitten* place in my life and needed to take control. It was hard at first but after a about 6 months, it became easier. I had a high sex drive and it was incredibly difficult to pass up the opportunities that were given. After about a year, it was mostly second nature. It was frustrating to have my control tested... but in the end, it really helped me learn that I have control over my life and the things I do and that I can do anything I set my mind to with the right amount of willpower. I would promote it to you if you think it's something that would help you... but it's certainly not going to be fun.

    Control is what I'm seeking. Although I worry the number of opportunities will fade[/quote]

    Fade? Puleassse....... :*
  • jbconnelly
    jbconnelly Posts: 170 Member
    Sounds like a terrible idea
  • Ashley___916
    Ashley___916 Posts: 1,025 Member
    strozman wrote: »
    kace_kay wrote: »
    I was voluntarily celibate for 2+ years. I was in a *kitten* place in my life and needed to take control. It was hard at first but after a about 6 months, it became easier. I had a high sex drive and it was incredibly difficult to pass up the opportunities that were given. After about a year, it was mostly second nature. It was frustrating to have my control tested... but in the end, it really helped me learn that I have control over my life and the things I do and that I can do anything I set my mind to with the right amount of willpower. I would promote it to you if you think it's something that would help you... but it's certainly not going to be fun.

    Control is what I'm seeking. Although I worry the number of opportunities will fade

    If anything the number of meaningful opportunities will increase. The less meaningful will always be there, only a few shots of tequila away.