Celibacy for a set amount of time
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That's it. It defines me. It complicates my life. But I worry if I take time off at the age of 40 that my opportunities are going to decrease significantly or stop happening altogether.tessalynn37 wrote: »Everyone enjoys sex, but it's not going to kill you if you don't have it. I know exactly what you are talking about and I think you should try celibacy for a while. Maybe if you go without it for a while it will become more meaningful for you once you start having it again.
Just focus your time and thoughts on other things. Don't let sex define who you are or complicate your life.
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Would you still...you know...not go celibate from yourself, or are you including even self...stuff?
Because if that's still an option, I'm good for a hella long time off.1 -
I was voluntarily celibate for 2+ years. I was in a *kitten* place in my life and needed to take control. It was hard at first but after a about 6 months, it became easier. I had a high sex drive and it was incredibly difficult to pass up the opportunities that were given. After about a year, it was mostly second nature. It was frustrating to have my control tested... but in the end, it really helped me learn that I have control over my life and the things I do and that I can do anything I set my mind to with the right amount of willpower. I would promote it to you if you think it's something that would help you... but it's certainly not going to be fun.
Control is what I'm seeking. Although I worry the number of opportunities will fade0 -
PurringMyrrh wrote: »Would you still...you know...not go celibate from yourself, or are you including even self...stuff?
Because if that's still an option, I'm good for a hella long time off.
was thinking all. but I don't know. Anyway I failed twice tonight on the celibacy. Back on the wagon tomorrow
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I have been voluntarily celibate for a year and 2 months. I was in a 7 year relationship and when it ended decided to focus on myself before focusing on anyone else. It was a little rough at first but between work, being a single mom and working out it gets easier. I don't even mind the lack of sex because ultimately it was my decision to become celibate.1
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Me, doing it right now. Been difficult the entire time but I'm staying well away from men atm! Nursing broken heart0
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Well ... I would just never give it up... Period. I like it too much. For me.. Not so much the other person... It's awesome exercise not only for my body but my mind as well.... It's a good way to re charge and refocus. It's a great stress reliever.... And a good reason to pig out at 2 o clock in the morning after wards. If you get it early enough in the morning.... It always makes you have a better day.... Ahhhh no.... I can't really find a good reason not to do it. That's just a personal reason for me. But props to all of you going for your goals. Mine just seem to be on the other side of that coin... My glass seems to stay half full... And I like it that way!!!2
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Well, I'm a Christian, and not married, so I can assure you that you can live celibate. It's not always fun, but it can be done.3
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shakeirawhitney wrote: »I have been voluntarily celibate for a year and 2 months. I was in a 7 year relationship and when it ended decided to focus on myself before focusing on anyone else. It was a little rough at first but between work, being a single mom and working out it gets easier. I don't even mind the lack of sex because ultimately it was my decision to become celibate.
Glad it gave you what you needed.0 -
lilkimi525 wrote: »Well ... I would just never give it up... Period. I like it too much. For me.. Not so much the other person... It's awesome exercise not only for my body but my mind as well.... It's a good way to re charge and refocus. It's a great stress reliever.... And a good reason to pig out at 2 o clock in the morning after wards. If you get it early enough in the morning.... It always makes you have a better day.... Ahhhh no.... I can't really find a good reason not to do it. That's just a personal reason for me. But props to all of you going for your goals. Mine just seem to be on the other side of that coin... My glass seems to stay half full... And I like it that way!!!
@lilkimi525 I understand. I haven't gone for it, as I failed yesterday. I just wanted a way to calm down the drama in my life. I have only had fb or nsa sex for so long that it's lost meaning to me. It stopped being fun like it used to be. I'm not exactly relationship material and I think maybe I'm just wanting closeness and intimacy with someone I might/possibly have the slightest chance of a relationship with. But I truly can't find that in my current life situation.0 -
dannijordan30 wrote: »Me, doing it right now. Been difficult the entire time but I'm staying well away from men atm! Nursing broken heart
@dannijordan30 good for you doing the opposite of what most people do after breakups0 -
I was voluntarily celibate for 2+ years. I was in a *kitten* place in my life and needed to take control. It was hard at first but after a about 6 months, it became easier. I had a high sex drive and it was incredibly difficult to pass up the opportunities that were given. After about a year, it was mostly second nature. It was frustrating to have my control tested... but in the end, it really helped me learn that I have control over my life and the things I do and that I can do anything I set my mind to with the right amount of willpower. I would promote it to you if you think it's something that would help you... but it's certainly not going to be fun.
Control is what I'm seeking. Although I worry the number of opportunities will fade
Ehhhhh you're still a hottie I can't imagine it's going to fade like you think! Best of luck with whatever you decide!
@kace_kayak thanks for the compliment, but I'm 40 and I can't imagine that they won't lol0 -
jennifer_417 wrote: »Well, I'm a Christian, and not married, so I can assure you that you can live celibate. It's not always fun, but it can be done.
@jennifer_417 Religious conviction seems to help people refrain from a lot of bad things/habits, unfortunately I lack faith in anything really.0 -
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I've nothing to add here. Interesting read though.
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Deployed a few times for 6-12 months, wife and I went through a rough spot that was another 8-9 months....that one was no fun and the temptation there to step out and get relief was VERY high.0
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Of course. Whenever Beth and I go on vacation, we do without for a couple days immediately before the trip so we'll have more appetite for each other when we get wherever we're going.0
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Thinking I might try this to clear my head. Any high sex drive people in here ever voluntarily go celibate for any significant amount of time (6 months-1yr)? And I mean voluntarily because you have a few options, not just some awkward FA, deployed, never tries or a person that is scared of rejection.
If so how did you not become angry and mean during that period?
Your thoughts gents and lasses?
I would never try this because I would probably turn into the most evil chick ever. My SO always makes fun of me because I get grumpy as hell after a day without. Good luck though, and props for practicing self control. Will probably clear your mind a ton!0 -
My opinion- And I will say I am a highly sexual person!--You don't need sex to find connection with anyone. I think there is a beauty in celibacy. As woman who has had a child, the doctor will automatically put you out of commission for 6 weeks. Not only is this time for your body to heal from trauma but allows a bonding stage. I learned a lot during that period not only about my baby but about who I was as a wife and a mother. I wish you well with your decision.1
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NorthCascades wrote: »Of course. Whenever Beth and I go on vacation, we do without for a couple days immediately before the trip so we'll have more appetite for each other when we get wherever we're going.
I've played around with this kind of thing in a relationship, but it has been a while0 -
yes post deployment, awesomeness, but plenty to keep you distracted. I was quite angry during the other evolution.0 -
peaceout_aly wrote: »Thinking I might try this to clear my head. Any high sex drive people in here ever voluntarily go celibate for any significant amount of time (6 months-1yr)? And I mean voluntarily because you have a few options, not just some awkward FA, deployed, never tries or a person that is scared of rejection.
If so how did you not become angry and mean during that period?
Your thoughts gents and lasses?
I would never try this because I would probably turn into the most evil chick ever. My SO always makes fun of me because I get grumpy as hell after a day without. Good luck though, and props for practicing self control. Will probably clear your mind a ton!
I have no self control @peaceout_aly
I become the biggest ahole on the planet after 7-10 days and can't think straight.0 -
My opinion- And I will say I am a highly sexual person!--You don't need sex to find connection with anyone. I think there is a beauty in celibacy. As woman who has had a child, the doctor will automatically put you out of commission for 6 weeks. Not only is this time for your body to heal from trauma but allows a bonding stage. I learned a lot during that period not only about my baby but about who I was as a wife and a mother. I wish you well with your decision.
I don't know, I feel like I do need sex for a connection0 -
yes post deployment, awesomeness, but plenty to keep you distracted. I was quite angry during the other evolution.
That's me too. Slightly more pissed off than the Hulk without it0 -
I was voluntarily celibate for 2+ years. I was in a *kitten* place in my life and needed to take control. It was hard at first but after a about 6 months, it became easier. I had a high sex drive and it was incredibly difficult to pass up the opportunities that were given. After about a year, it was mostly second nature. It was frustrating to have my control tested... but in the end, it really helped me learn that I have control over my life and the things I do and that I can do anything I set my mind to with the right amount of willpower. I would promote it to you if you think it's something that would help you... but it's certainly not going to be fun.
Control is what I'm seeking. Although I worry the number of opportunities will fade[/quote]
Fade? Puleassse.......
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Sounds like a terrible idea0
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I was voluntarily celibate for 2+ years. I was in a *kitten* place in my life and needed to take control. It was hard at first but after a about 6 months, it became easier. I had a high sex drive and it was incredibly difficult to pass up the opportunities that were given. After about a year, it was mostly second nature. It was frustrating to have my control tested... but in the end, it really helped me learn that I have control over my life and the things I do and that I can do anything I set my mind to with the right amount of willpower. I would promote it to you if you think it's something that would help you... but it's certainly not going to be fun.
Control is what I'm seeking. Although I worry the number of opportunities will fade
If anything the number of meaningful opportunities will increase. The less meaningful will always be there, only a few shots of tequila away.0
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