Lost sex drive?

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Replies

  • lesleyloo7879
    lesleyloo7879 Posts: 439 Member
    You still have rather young kiddos 1 and 3 ..... I am sure they still wear you out. As the get older and not need you for everything you will find you have a little more time to yourself, it helps. More rested and a less stressed out momma is always a good thing. Working out, taking better care of yourself (we all know as moms we put us last), more sleep yeah your sex drive will come back .

    salembambi wrote: »
    i have no idea

    ive lost 150ish pounds and my sex drive is i would say only slightly higher than it was when i was a extra fat muffin

    i dont know ive always had periods of "i literally do not care at all about sex" and then periods of "im going to bang every single person i want for at least 3 years ok bye"

    have you talked to your husband about it?

    @salembambi I love your post because it is so true
  • 2011rocket3touring
    2011rocket3touring Posts: 1,346 Member
    Unfortunately it has gone up quite a bit.
  • jessiferrrb
    jessiferrrb Posts: 1,758 Member
    Tsartele wrote: »
    I have lost about 32 lbs and I have noticed that everything seems to work better. I have an increased drive and feel that I am in really good shape. I have been lifting weights and with that comes an increase in testosterone levels which would explain the drive. I am no Dr. but it would make sense that this would work for men and women as you build muscle your T-levels increase. Best of luck,,, your beautiful by the way.. keep doing what ever it is your doing.

    maybe this is why mfp is a dating site . . .
  • adremark
    adremark Posts: 774 Member
    edited May 2016
    Okay, I'm married with two kids. Been married for 5 years. Kids are 1 & 3. I haven't had a sex drive in... Over 6 months? All I want is to want sex again. And don't get me wrong, when I do have sex, it's good stuff. I just can't remember the last time I felt like I had to have it.
    I'm hoping that eating better /working out will help, but I've not heard anyone mention that as a bonus side effect. I've not gained a lot of weight (currently 135), not super stressed... I don't get it.
    Has anyone noticed a boost in that department??

    (wasn't too sure which thread would be best for this, so I chose the most open - minded one)

    Cassie, you should discuss this with your OB/GYN. It is unusual to have that drive drop so suddenly.

    If no underlying cause is found (i.e., the lack of sex drive is idiopathic), there are new medications available to increase female libido, specifically flibanserin (Addyi). See: http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/298349.php
  • CharlieBeansmomTracey
    CharlieBeansmomTracey Posts: 7,682 Member
    study states that they dont even know if it works,not to mention you can have insomnia and dry mouth along with other issues. yeah thats something I really want to take
  • peaceout_aly
    peaceout_aly Posts: 2,018 Member
    robs_ready wrote: »
    It may be different for females, but lifting weights and building muscle has increased drive.

    It's absolutely the same for females. Lifting weights gets blood flowing, you feel better about yourself, plus it releases testosterone if you lift heavy and we all know what that means.
  • kota4bye
    kota4bye Posts: 809 Member
    Thank you everyone for your help (and stories!)
    To clear one thing up, yes, I've talked to my husband. He is a patient man. We have agreed to start doing more things together, and carve out 'us' time. If I don't notice an improvement in a couple months, I'll talk to my doctor.
    Until then, it is fake it 'til you make it mentality! And working out....

    Lift heavy, and making room for the two of you is huge. We had originally thought that after the kids hit the bed would be our time, but after hitting the gym early every morning and the rest of our days, we found that we we're both ready to hit the sack (and start snoring) as soon as we had tucked them in.

    Shower time and nooners are really working out well, lol. ;)

  • Tsartele
    Tsartele Posts: 683 Member
    study states that they dont even know if it works,not to mention you can have insomnia and dry mouth along with other issues. yeah thats something I really want to take

    There are side affects with all drugs including Tylenol and Aspirin... Can't hurt to try..
  • MissusMoon
    MissusMoon Posts: 1,900 Member
    Having kids ages 1-3 was a libido killer for me, no matter what weight I was at, no matter what I was eating. It's an exhausting time and life isn't all that sexy in general.

    It gets better.
  • NorthCascades
    NorthCascades Posts: 10,970 Member
    edited May 2016
    Tsartele wrote: »
    I really hope it works for me! Like 143tobe, mine used to be super high. Like, I was jokingly called a nympho. And now I'm just like, yeah, okay. Get it over with. And I really hate it because my husband has been working out a little and watching what he eats. He's lost about 20 pounds in the last year or so, and I'm sure my lack of reaction is killing his self esteem.

    I've never been on anti depressants (I'm actually always happy /optimistic --annoyingly so at times, lol!), so I know it's not that.

    Quite honestly this topic scares the crap out of me. It would be horrible to marry someone and have everything hitting on all cylinders and then comes the baby and boom cold turkey. There is really nothing you as a man can do about it. I really hope you find your mojo again !!

    Just don't have a baby, and you have one less thing to fear. There are way too many people already and life is too short to give up on.
  • RespectTheKitty
    RespectTheKitty Posts: 1,667 Member
    The last time I had sex with my husband was when I was 5 months pregnant. We divorced when my son was three years old. That's right, more than three years without sex.

    I totally agree that small children = libido death.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,841 Member
    I just can't remember the last time I felt like I had to have it.

    Even if you aren't stressed, the daily grind, kids, life and everything can zap sex drive. You get caught up in routines and the exciting spontaneity of things disappears. That is true of sex too. So that could be it. And sometimes...it....Just. Doesn't. Matter. One other thought is, arousal is a function of chemical reactions in the body, so maybe things are off there.

    I have always had a high sex drive but it was zapped when I was going through some personal stuff and had no interest for months. Exercise certainly helped bring it back by balancing things in the body and giving me more confidence with my body too.

    All the best. You'll figure it out.
  • CharlieBeansmomTracey
    CharlieBeansmomTracey Posts: 7,682 Member
    Tsartele wrote: »
    study states that they dont even know if it works,not to mention you can have insomnia and dry mouth along with other issues. yeah thats something I really want to take

    There are side affects with all drugs including Tylenol and Aspirin... Can't hurt to try..

    yes but most insurances probably wont cover it. hell I cant even get insurance to cover my advair(for asthma),
  • CharlieBeansmomTracey
    CharlieBeansmomTracey Posts: 7,682 Member
    robs_ready wrote: »
    It may be different for females, but lifting weights and building muscle has increased drive.

    It's absolutely the same for females. Lifting weights gets blood flowing, you feel better about yourself, plus it releases testosterone if you lift heavy and we all know what that means.

    not for this lady,been doing heavy lifting for almost 4 years and it hasnt helped
  • Kvm11628
    Kvm11628 Posts: 7,386 Member
    edited May 2016
    Tsartele wrote: »
    If she lost the sex drive so be it!
    Why is everyone freaking out.

    Its not natural and she wants to have it back...

    Sorry, but what qualifies you to definite natural? Are you a doctor? Married with two kids? Two kids under the age of four? Trust me. Based on the experiences I and many fiend so have had, a dip with this much pressure to always be there for SOMEONE? Normal. The key thing is to keep communicating and keep at it. The drive will come back as long as attraction to your spouse remains and you stay connected.
  • Kvm11628
    Kvm11628 Posts: 7,386 Member
    Tsartele wrote: »
    study states that they dont even know if it works,not to mention you can have insomnia and dry mouth along with other issues. yeah thats something I really want to take

    There are side affects with all drugs including Tylenol and Aspirin... Can't hurt to try..

    That's what people said about phen-phen other drugs. Please stop dispensing medical advice if you are not qualified. Taking drugs unregulated by the FDA or without a long history if research CAN hurt to try.
  • Kvm11628
    Kvm11628 Posts: 7,386 Member
    Timshel_ wrote: »
    I just can't remember the last time I felt like I had to have it.

    Even if you aren't stressed, the daily grind, kids, life and everything can zap sex drive. You get caught up in routines and the exciting spontaneity of things disappears. That is true of sex too. So that could be it. And sometimes...it....Just. Doesn't. Matter. One other thought is, arousal is a function of chemical reactions in the body, so maybe things are off there.

    I have always had a high sex drive but it was zapped when I was going through some personal stuff and had no interest for months. Exercise certainly helped bring it back by balancing things in the body and giving me more confidence with my body too.

    All the best. You'll figure it out.

    This was good advice.

    It could be a medical issue, and it might be worth getting tested. Or it could be normal life. Keep on keeping on.
  • Shana67
    Shana67 Posts: 680 Member
    edited May 2016
    You know, it gets better. When my kids were small, I absolutely lost my sex drive, mostly because I was so very exhausted ALL OF THE TIME. It's super hard to feel in the mood or even sexy, when you have little people pulling on you all day. And let's be honest - they are our LIVES. I say that mine are the loves of my life, and they are. Giving anything else to your husband/SO just seems like the most incredible, daunting effort.

    My kids are now 25, 22 and 18 and my sex drive and my sex life (with my flat out amazing husband) is INCREDIBLE. I do not however mean to say that it will take 20 years until you feel like getting it on again LOL It tends to come back when you are well rested and have a bit more time. Hang in there. It's coming back :)
  • BigDougie1211
    BigDougie1211 Posts: 3,530 Member
    I always found ( and I know this is anecdotal ) that the longer I go without it, the less enthusiastic about it I am. The more I have, the more I want.