What's a "normal" love life?
Replies
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IMHO, normal is whatever works for the couple. As long as both people are truly okay with it.
I've never understood the "I have a headache" thing, myself. As long as I've been with someone I don't hate (and there was a time I was married to someone I hated so that was the exception) I can't see why we ladies (or you men) can't "take one for the team" once in a while, even if it's not the first thing on your list of things to do at that moment. I realize it can be a little harder for men to "take one for the team" than women, physically. That's what the little blue pills are for. And if it's long term and you know your relationship is solid, maybe guys with an unusually low drive should look into their testosterone levels. And ladies same goes for us. Get those hormone levels checked if your drive is extremely low. And if a low drive is medication related, all the more reason to just take one for the team. Ladies, have you EVER found yourself afterward going "gee I wish I hadn't done that" when it was with someone you are in a healthy relationship with?
The only times in my life where I didn't have this philosophy were when a relationship was so filled with resentment that the last thing in the world I wanted was "that man" putting his hands on me. So if that's where you're at, you've got a bigger problem than "a headache".0 -
All the ladies who are saying "multiple times a day", When do you have time for a job (or is your man a two pump chump)??
I enjoy a longer session at night and a quicky (10 minutes give or take) in the morning. I don't watch tv anymore, which frees up my calendar for more enjoyable experiences. Its amazing how much time you have when you reorganize your priorities.
I would have had trouble finishing in 10 minutes when I was a teenager, now I am in my 40's. If I don't have 30+ minutes, I don't even bother and even @ 30min I consider it a quicky and feel a little rushed. Everyone is different though. Also, it is amazing how many people on here must not know what the word "foreplay" means since some people are claiming 5 times a day. I'm guessing their love life is more like grope, grab, tug, go, pump pump, done (X 5).
Unless your partner is getting off 4-5 times within that 30+ minutes then you are doing it wrong. Not that it sometimes doesn't last that long, just that it doesn't have to for everyone to be satisfied, if you know what you are doing
When I was a teen I needed more time to get her "off", now that I know what I am doing even quicky can get the job done.
And there he is!! Mr. Twopump!
I am guessing by your awareness your skills are probably lacking, but let me clue you in on something that should have been obvious: I was talking about how long I take, not her. I am glad your are done before she has a chance for multiple O's and I guess I am glad that you are proud of it? Anyway.. Nice try.0 -
All the ladies who are saying "multiple times a day", When do you have time for a job (or is your man a two pump chump)??
I enjoy a longer session at night and a quicky (10 minutes give or take) in the morning. I don't watch tv anymore, which frees up my calendar for more enjoyable experiences. Its amazing how much time you have when you reorganize your priorities.
I would have had trouble finishing in 10 minutes when I was a teenager, now I am in my 40's. If I don't have 30+ minutes, I don't even bother and even @ 30min I consider it a quicky and feel a little rushed. Everyone is different though. Also, it is amazing how many people on here must not know what the word "foreplay" means since some people are claiming 5 times a day. I'm guessing their love life is more like grope, grab, tug, go, pump pump, done (X 5).
Unless your partner is getting off 4-5 times within that 30+ minutes then you are doing it wrong.
When I was a teen I needed more time to get her "off", now that I know what I am doing even quicky can get the job done.
Some of the best time I've had have been spontaneous, half dressed up against a wall, ten minutes or less then fall into the shower and run out the house because you only have 5 minutes left to get to work.
I weep at the thought of all the fun I would have missed if my husband thought anything less than 30 minutes wasn't worthwhile.
I agree, spontaneous times are different, but she was talking about a 10 minute session every morning. There are times when things can move quicker out of massive passion or lust.0 -
For ladies that have been pregnant...did you have a lot of sex during pregnancy? Was your husband hesitant to have sex with you while pregnant?0
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Barring a specific medical condition, I'd wager it's pretty rare for a guy to respond to his S/O's "Honey, would you like to?" with anything other than an enthusiastic "YES! Now. . . now is good, for me, thanks!"IMHO, normal is whatever works for the couple. As long as both people are truly okay with it.
I've never understood the "I have a headache" thing, myself. As long as I've been with someone I don't hate (and there was a time I was married to someone I hated so that was the exception) I can't see why we ladies (or you men) can't "take one for the team" once in a while, even if it's not the first thing on your list of things to do at that moment. I realize it can be a little harder for men to "take one for the team" than women, physically. That's what the little blue pills are for. And if it's long term and you know your relationship is solid, maybe guys with an unusually low drive should look into their testosterone levels. And ladies same goes for us. Get those hormone levels checked if your drive is extremely low. And if a low drive is medication related, all the more reason to just take one for the team. Ladies, have you EVER found yourself afterward going "gee I wish I hadn't done that" when it was with someone you are in a healthy relationship with?
The only times in my life where I didn't have this philosophy were when a relationship was so filled with resentment that the last thing in the world I wanted was "that man" putting his hands on me. So if that's where you're at, you've got a bigger problem than "a headache".0 -
All the ladies who are saying "multiple times a day", When do you have time for a job (or is your man a two pump chump)??
I enjoy a longer session at night and a quicky (10 minutes give or take) in the morning. I don't watch tv anymore, which frees up my calendar for more enjoyable experiences. Its amazing how much time you have when you reorganize your priorities.
I would have had trouble finishing in 10 minutes when I was a teenager, now I am in my 40's. If I don't have 30+ minutes, I don't even bother and even @ 30min I consider it a quicky and feel a little rushed. Everyone is different though. Also, it is amazing how many people on here must not know what the word "foreplay" means since some people are claiming 5 times a day. I'm guessing their love life is more like grope, grab, tug, go, pump pump, done (X 5).
Unless your partner is getting off 4-5 times within that 30+ minutes then you are doing it wrong. Not that it sometimes doesn't last that long, just that it doesn't have to for everyone to be satisfied, if you know what you are doing
When I was a teen I needed more time to get her "off", now that I know what I am doing even quicky can get the job done.
I personally prefer for it to take longer. We aren't rushed now that we have no kids at home and the build up without him trying to get me off 4-5 times in 30+ minutes is nice. Of course, when he was 34, I was 25 so things were quicker and multiple Os were par for the course. I am sure that some women my age still have them (that aren't faking them), but just like men slow down some, so do women as we get older. Thing is, we enjoy it as much or more than we did 23 years ago and actually just as often if not more often, usually 3+ times a week. Maybe because there is ultimate trust and much lower inhibitions. Either way, I know I wouldn't trade our 30-60 minutes from start to finish for a 10 minute quickie more than occasionally.0 -
Yeah.....we have issues. :ohwell: I've tried to talk to him about it, telling him with my self esteem issues I don't feel wanted or attractive & he gets defensive & it goes nowhere.
Yes, this sounds familiar, although mine doesn't get defensive, I just get the "I know" or "I'll try harder" & then nothing.0 -
unfortunately only like 3 x a month - (on his part) i honestly need it more than that - or i seem to need attention elsewhere - im not saying cheating - but its like you need to flirt - to feel sexy still - again - just being honest - please dont hate or judge -lol
Totally understand that0 -
It is interesting that when I started lifting weights my libido sky-rocketed which my husband loved. I can't tell you how crazy that was. I felt like a teenage boy. Now that things have calmed down and my body is out of shock we are at 2 to 3x a week. We are both happy with that and have a great marriage.
Have any other females had that experience? Is it the jump in testosterone?0 -
Yes, same thing for me when I started lifting again! Besides the added "T" I think becoming more confident in my own skin from lifting/working out also contributed.....check this article..........http://www.yourtango.com/experts/mark-dilworth/7-reasons-women-need-testosteroneIt is interesting that when I started lifting weights my libido sky-rocketed which my husband loved. I can't tell you how crazy that was. I felt like a teenage boy. Now that things have calmed down and my body is out of shock we are at 2 to 3x a week. We are both happy with that and have a great marriage.
Have any other females had that experience? Is it the jump in testosterone?0 -
5x a day.
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As sincere as some of the posters on this thread no doubt are - there are some serious bull****ers posting too.
Haha I was thinking the same thing...reading some of them and thinking "ppfftt whatever"
We hit our 19 yr mark next month. 4 daughters (3 of them teenagers) and a whole lot of history together both good and bad. We have gone through stretches without any (for reasons) and we have gone through phases of "Just cant get enough of it"
As long as there is communication happening and a large amount of respect and giving then whatever you both are happy with is YOUR normal.0 -
From sun up till sun down. Holla!0
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Isn't it when a mommy & a daddy, & a daddy, & a daddy, & a daddy love a mommy so much that they give her a facial?
Wrong thread? :huh:0 -
Every month that has an ' X ' in it . weather I want IT or NOT0
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I have been with my OH for 5 years and he ahs a very low sex drive - much MUCH lower than mine. We're probably once a month and although it bothered me at first, we have a healthy and loving relationship and thats normal for us! Of course I would love daily like most people on here, but thats just not us. It doesnt change how we are attracted we are to one another or anything.
I think it all depends on the coupld and their compatibility - you can only say whats right or wrong for you.
CeeBee, thank you! My husband has health issues which we have started addressing the last few months but as a result sex is pretty much a non option at this point. But, we started out as best friends and never based our relationship on sex ... don't get me wrong I miss the "days of old" but in the larger scheme of things we are Happily Married (14 years this August)0 -
As sincere as some of the posters on this thread no doubt are - there are some serious bull****ers posting too.
Haha I was thinking the same thing...reading some of them and thinking "ppfftt whatever"
We hit our 19 yr mark next month. 4 daughters (3 of them teenagers) and a whole lot of history together both good and bad. We have gone through stretches without any (for reasons) and we have gone through phases of "Just cant get enough of it"
As long as there is communication happening and a large amount of respect and giving then whatever you both are happy with is YOUR normal.
I agree with this... Married for 17 years this year it comes and goes and happens at different rates throughout the marriage, kids definately make it trickier, but so do other factors with age or stress in life, and that goes fro men and women not jsut the women.
My current honest answer is 2-3 times per month, but that will change again over time to be both more and less depending on loads of situations, health, jobs, age, stress, etc0 -
He wants you to pull his pants down and get busy :bigsmile:
Wisdom.0 -
I myself can go without for weeks, my hubby can not. He wants at least 3-5 times a week. In order to keep the peace because he gets frustrated the door is open. lol I really enjoy pleasing my husband.
Its important to communicate with one another inorder to find out what the others expectations are and try to meet each other somewhere in the middle.
Oh yeah, time for each other is worked around our 3boys 13,7,2 yrs.0 -
Happy with relationship. ;-) the way it is0
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