What's a "normal" love life?

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Replies

  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    I'd be happy with twice a day, but he doesnt have the drive nor stamina to keep up with me. I settle for 3-5 times a week. It's never enough though, but thank God for Mr. Hitachi the Japanese friend who never lets you down.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    All the ladies who are saying "multiple times a day", When do you have time for a job (or is your man a two pump chump)??

    You rub it right and she can be a two pump chump too
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    Yeah.....we have issues. :ohwell: I've tried to talk to him about it, telling him with my self esteem issues I don't feel wanted or attractive & he gets defensive & it goes nowhere.

    He don't wanna hear dat! He wants you to pull his pants down and get busy :bigsmile:

    Pretend you have self esteem. Then maybe you will acquire it.

    I have such a fear of rejection. I just can't. I know I shouldn't feel that way but he chooses to avoid me so it's hard to suck it up & go for it.

    Jump his bones girlfriend...I'm sure he would love it if you did!

    this!

    he probably has a fear of rejection too - thats why he avoids you, which then makes the situation worse...

    crack open a bottle of wine, and lock him in the bedroom!

    I dont know if any of you have ever been with a person who has a low drive, but this is the worst possible advice. When it gets to this point you really need counseling especially if the talking hasnt worked.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    I can relate to an earlier post on this thread. After celebrating 20yrs of marriage and 4 children later (aged 5-15) I can say my husband and I are so far off the bell curves its crazy! I'm 43 and he's 54 and honest to goodness we have uninhibited sex at least 5 days a week. We are experiencing what I'm calling our "sexual renaissance". We've gone through all the phases in a married sex life including a 3yr dry spell. I can honestly say we are having the best sex ever, bar none. The key? Lose the inhibitions, communicate your needs/wants/fantasies openly and honestly and don't be afraid to try new things in and out of the bedroom to keep it interesting. I can also tell you a happy, active sex life extends its feel good mood to all areas of your life.

    This is happy to hear
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    This thread is making me realize just how much I miss sex.
  • _Krys10_
    _Krys10_ Posts: 1,234 Member
    This thread is making me realize just how much I miss sex.


    Aww you need a hug and maybe something more
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    without reading all the responses I don't think there is a real "normal" it ebbs and flows.
    Especially if there are kids involved.

    If you aren't happy with the frequency find a productive way to resolve that.
  • jillianbeeee
    jillianbeeee Posts: 345 Member
    You all suck. :(

    lol. Agreed. Been married 23 years and he just doesn't have the drive that I do. He works 14 hours a day. Me? I would be content with 2 times a month at this dam point. Nothing to do with my weight, just age and tiredness. Yep sucks.
  • alipene
    alipene Posts: 945 Member
    As many people have said, it's different for every couple. As long as the frequency is mutually acceptable, it's all good. For us 'normal' is 2-3 times a week after 24 years of marriage (together 29), but there have been leaner times. It's also about quality not quantity.
  • silver_arrow3
    silver_arrow3 Posts: 1,373 Member
    Still working on acquiring a love life, thanks.

    Most of my exes have had much lower drives than me.. Daily is acceptable though. I miss sex too... :grumble:
  • thecakelocker
    thecakelocker Posts: 407 Member
    We have a newborn at home and we go 1-2 times a day. Best screaming-baby-stress-relief EVER.
  • Lone_Wolf70
    Lone_Wolf70 Posts: 2,820 Member
    We have a newborn at home and we go 1-2 times a day. Best screaming-baby-stress-relief EVER.

    im dubious to the veracity of this post.


    or jealous. lol
  • CountingCaloriesSuxass
    CountingCaloriesSuxass Posts: 387 Member
    We have a newborn at home and we go 1-2 times a day. Best screaming-baby-stress-relief EVER.

    im dubious to the veracity of this post.


    or jealous. lol

    No man, Its BS..like half of the posts here
  • Icelandic_Saga
    Icelandic_Saga Posts: 2,926 Member
    3 times a week is normal I think for a working couple. more is nice but sometimes there just isn't time!!
  • TyTy76
    TyTy76 Posts: 1,761 Member
    We have a newborn at home and we go 1-2 times a day. Best screaming-baby-stress-relief EVER.

    im dubious to the veracity of this post.


    or jealous. lol

    No man, Its BS..like half of the posts here

    QFT
  • CountingCaloriesSuxass
    CountingCaloriesSuxass Posts: 387 Member
    We have a newborn at home and we go 1-2 times a day. Best screaming-baby-stress-relief EVER.

    im dubious to the veracity of this post.


    or jealous. lol

    No man, Its BS..like half of the posts here

    QFT

    what does that mean?
  • Capt_Inzane
    Capt_Inzane Posts: 733 Member
    When I was younger it was daily or at least a couple times a week. For the past year I haven't had anyone to lay down with. Once I find another person I'd say it'd be a lot at first. At least daily and then slow down a bit to a couple times a week. I can't imagine going a week with loving especially when I have someone willing to do so.
  • Iron_Lotus
    Iron_Lotus Posts: 2,295 Member
    every day sometimes twice a day
  • jackpotclown
    jackpotclown Posts: 3,275 Member
    We have a newborn at home and we go 1-2 times a day. Best screaming-baby-stress-relief EVER.

    im dubious to the veracity of this post.


    or jealous. lol

    No man, Its BS..like half of the posts here

    QFT

    what does that mean?
    quote for truth \m/
  • hubby and i did it quite frequently when we first met. one time 5 times in a day! been together for three years now and it varies. sometimes its a few times a week sometimes it is twice a month. i have a much higher sex drive than him. i would do it daily if i could. i think sex is important but there are other things more important. we have been through so much together and we truly love one another. i think thats the most important thing.
  • TyTy76
    TyTy76 Posts: 1,761 Member
    We have a newborn at home and we go 1-2 times a day. Best screaming-baby-stress-relief EVER.

    im dubious to the veracity of this post.


    or jealous. lol

    No man, Its BS..like half of the posts here

    QFT

    what does that mean?

    Quoted for truth.
  • eyestylemom
    eyestylemom Posts: 107 Member
    "normal" is what works for you. DH and I have been together 20 years...married 17. 2 young kids and its typically 1-2 times a week for us depending on his work schedule. But we also never turn the other down if the mood strikes so...doesn't matter who initiates it, we just never say no. If it hits, then Wii is put on for the kids and we are bounding up the stairs. :laugh: Works for us. :D
  • UnoDrea3732
    UnoDrea3732 Posts: 342 Member
    At least weekly but mostly on the weekends.
  • jzammetti
    jzammetti Posts: 1,956 Member
    at least 3 times each week is normal for us...oftentimes more
  • fbmandy55
    fbmandy55 Posts: 5,263 Member
    for us, it's 1-2 times a week. Hubby works a ton and we have 2 small kids so things are busy around here but usually once a week or so.

    This. And that is just because of pure exhaustion during the work week and little kid at home. Thanks to the 4 day weekend, we had time and energy for much more! :wink: But I think a healthy relationship includes 1-2 nights a week MINIMUM of sex.
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    We both have jobs and 3 kids. I'm happy with 1-2 a week. We've been married 9 years. Frequent sex IS important in relationships and really helps maintain everything. If we aren't having sex we are a lot more *****y with each other.
  • erickirb
    erickirb Posts: 12,294 Member
    All the ladies who are saying "multiple times a day", When do you have time for a job (or is your man a two pump chump)??

    I enjoy a longer session at night and a quicky (10 minutes give or take) in the morning. I don't watch tv anymore, which frees up my calendar for more enjoyable experiences. Its amazing how much time you have when you reorganize your priorities.

    I would have had trouble finishing in 10 minutes when I was a teenager, now I am in my 40's. If I don't have 30+ minutes, I don't even bother and even @ 30min I consider it a quicky and feel a little rushed. Everyone is different though. Also, it is amazing how many people on here must not know what the word "foreplay" means since some people are claiming 5 times a day. I'm guessing their love life is more like grope, grab, tug, go, pump pump, done (X 5).

    Unless your partner is getting off 4-5 times within that 30+ minutes then you are doing it wrong. Not that it sometimes doesn't last that long, just that it doesn't have to for everyone to be satisfied, if you know what you are doing

    When I was a teen I needed more time to get her "off", now that I know what I am doing even quicky can get the job done.
  • VegGrrl
    VegGrrl Posts: 336 Member
    You all suck. :(

    lol I feel your pain!!

    I just hit 10 months and counting.

    Please.
    Year..PLUS

    My right hand and I are friends..

    If I didnt have a brief fling late last year, I would be closing in on four years. :noway:

    I have watched all the porn at this point.


    I'm lucky if my husband of 25 years is interested twice a year. And those two times are only because I jump him and won't take no for an answer (on my birthday and our anniversary)! He has issues. Intimacy issues, abuse issues, ADHD and depression. But when I married him, it was for better or worse, through thick and thin. So I spend my life frustrated and very well stocked on toys and porn. He's getting treatment and trying really hard. I just don't think he'll ever be able to have a "normal" sex life. No sex isn't on my short list of "deal-breakers", so I make do. I love him and he's a good partner in other aspects. I'm not gonna leave him over this.
  • losermomof3
    losermomof3 Posts: 386 Member
    Hubby and I have been married for almost 14 years and we "do it" about 4 times a month. Conflict in schedule doesn't help :(
  • Lindaspencer
    Lindaspencer Posts: 226 Member
    unfortunately only like 3 x a month - (on his part) i honestly need it more than that - or i seem to need attention elsewhere - im not saying cheating - but its like you need to flirt - to feel sexy still - again - just being honest - please dont hate or judge -lol