Significant others that don't understand calorie counting

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  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 32,429 Member
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    If the problem is the sodium, then drinking a boatload of water should help avoid bloating, too. Yeah, I know, bathroom trips! Can't have everything.

    As a no-longer-tolerant-of-nonsense li'l ol' lady, I'm also in the "this doesn't sound like a supportive relationship" camp, but that's a decision OP has to make.
  • cerise_noir
    cerise_noir Posts: 5,468 Member
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    genpopadopolous wrote: »
    I read once on a thread that he would input his dinner into the next day- so he knew what breakfast and lunch had to be. In his case his wife cooked and he wasn't ever sure what he would be having.

    Basically just moving the logging period a few hours so the "day" fit his eating better.

    Or you can tell your boyfriend to shove it. Whichever is easier.
    I was just thinking of this. He mentioned not knowing what the heck was for dinner many nights so he would just log today's food log as tomorrows. It's perfect.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
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    OP I'm completely in the same boat as you... I just can't afford unplanned dinners out - just not happening. And yes... it totally sucks! But like you I eat most of my calories before dinner and it's a rare day when I have more than 400 calories left for dinner - and good luck finding something filling for that amount of calories in 90% of restaurants... But I'm just hungry during the day and miserable when I'm hungry - and I have no problem skipping dinner some days.

    So yeah, if my husband kept asking to go out for dinner at the last minute.. I'd tell him that he can go - alone. But I guess we've been married 13 years so yeah... lol.

    Honestly though the way I got around it is by planning lunch out occasionally, but he often eats whatever he wants at lunch anyway instead of packing leftovers (grrrr) and I'm the one cooking anyway so he doesn't care about going out that much (plus with kids it kinda sucks, lol).
  • AuroraGeorge8393
    AuroraGeorge8393 Posts: 100 Member
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    I have relatives like that. What I did was find a handful of local restaurants that serve low (or lower) calorie options. Now, when my friends/relatives invite me to eat out, I suggest going to one of those restaurants and it saves me the headache of having to either refuse or spend the night worrying about my calorie intake.

    If you can't choose the restaurant, I would take others advice and order soup and/or salad - meatless - with a low calorie dressing or vinaigrette.
  • AuroraGeorge8393
    AuroraGeorge8393 Posts: 100 Member
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    lauraesh0384 wrote: »
    OODone wrote: »
    alondrakayy wrote: »
    My husband and I have different methods of dieting. He has a lot of self control and is able to be on a 'clean' diet for long periods of times. He understands that I need to count in order to stay on track. He didn't get it at first, but after a year of going off and on counting calories he has noticed that this is what works for me and my body. I think, for now, try to enjoy your time together and just order calorie friendly items. If he has a problem with that then there may be a more deeper issue that you both need to discuss.

    Maybe this guy likes bigger women. Maybe he is all about that bass.

    He does. He said that he liked how I looked at 185-190 lbs. But on a 5'6" frame that's just not healthy. And I felt so disgusting at that weight. I'm 162 now and I feel pretty good. I'll feel a lot better once I get to my goal weight. Which is 145-150. I think he misses the person that would be down to going to all you can eat buffets and didn't care about how much food I would eat. I told him that's not going to be my lifestyle anymore. He could stand to lose a little bit of weight himself, but would never do that.

    Good for you!

    Sounds like we're in the same boat, same height, same current weight (162), almost the same starting weight (mine was 191-193).

    I know it can be frustrating for loved ones when you change your diet, because it can be a major lifestyle change, but you have to take care of your health. Your health and well-being - and just having the ability to feel good in your own skin again - has to come first.
  • lauraesh0384
    lauraesh0384 Posts: 463 Member
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    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    If the problem is the sodium, then drinking a boatload of water should help avoid bloating, too. Yeah, I know, bathroom trips! Can't have everything.

    As a no-longer-tolerant-of-nonsense li'l ol' lady, I'm also in the "this doesn't sound like a supportive relationship" camp, but that's a decision OP has to make.

    He actually is pretty supportive otherwise. He generally doesn't complain about my way of eating. Many times he'll give up his video game so I can have the TV to get my exercise in. It might help if we plan a regular date night out every couple weeks that way I'm not surprised when he wants to go out to eat. The responses in this thread made me realize perhaps I was being a tad unreasonable. I can be quite stubborn. :P
  • AuroraGeorge8393
    AuroraGeorge8393 Posts: 100 Member
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    Honestly, I don't think you are being that unreasonable, but the regular date night sounds like a good idea.
  • DebSozo
    DebSozo Posts: 2,578 Member
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    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    If the problem is the sodium, then drinking a boatload of water should help avoid bloating, too. Yeah, I know, bathroom trips! Can't have everything.

    As a no-longer-tolerant-of-nonsense li'l ol' lady, I'm also in the "this doesn't sound like a supportive relationship" camp, but that's a decision OP has to make.

    My husband sabotaged me a bit at the beginning but let up after I had a serious talk explaining how difficult it is for me when he tries to get me to overeat. It is an adjustment period for them also and not easy to give up old habits.
  • bagge72
    bagge72 Posts: 1,377 Member
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    Are you guys new to dating, I don't get what the problem with just saying no is. If you don't want to eat out, you don't want to eat out, and the fact that he says it isn't his problem really should make you not want to go.
  • bagge72
    bagge72 Posts: 1,377 Member
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    Vanyahiril wrote: »
    We eat out/order in quite often. I tend to eat light for breakfast. If I choose something high calorie while we're out, I portion out what will fit in my calories for the day, & take the rest home for another meal. I enjoy eating out, & spending that time with my family, so I adjust my priorities accordingly. If you absolutely are against that, perhaps you need to reconsider having a relationship, until you are happy with you.

    This was just bad advice, she said that she just needs to know in advance so she can plan out. She is getting told last minutre after she has already ate most of her meals for the day.

  • JodehFoster
    JodehFoster Posts: 419 Member
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    I generally order my meals out "low sodium"...or I tell them no salt. As far as salad dressings go, a plain oil & vinegar is a great option as well.


    But yeah, if he's telling you that your diet is "not his problem"...it's also fair to tell him, his last minute "I want to go out to eat", is also not your problem.
  • DebSozo
    DebSozo Posts: 2,578 Member
    edited June 2016
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    lauraesh0384 wrote: »
    The biggest issue here is definitely that he didn't ask me in advance. Had he said last night, "Hey, I want to go to dinner tomorrow night", I would had been able to plan accordingly. By the time I had breakfast and lunch I was already at 1400 calories. I usually eat around 2000-2100. Some of the chain restaurants we like, it's not hard to blow those calories out of the water. Not to mention he kept asking me what some low calorie options are and wouldn't hone in on a specific restaurant. Hopefully he'll take into consideration what I said about planning in advance. And I know for a fact that if I went and didn't order anything he would get upset just the same as if I said I didn't want to go. I have avoided eating out for the most part because I like knowing what's going into my food and how many calories I'm really consuming. When I cook at home, I am in total control of that.

    If you look online sometimes restaurants post menus. Plus, choosing ahead of time will help you keep the calories low by not looking at the other items when you get in the restaurant. There is usually a "lighter fare" section of the menu that have 500 calories or less. Then you could cut out 100 calories a day for 5 days in order to make up for the one meal overage and hardly notice the impact for the week. Setting up dates ahead of time does seem like a great solution as mentioned.

  • megomerrett
    megomerrett Posts: 442 Member
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    I'd balance it out the following day - I'm not one to pass up the chance of someone else making my meal and washing up after me!

    That said, yesterday my son wanted to go out for breakfast. I said no as we were having a big Sunday roast at my mums for lunch.
  • lauraesh0384
    lauraesh0384 Posts: 463 Member
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    DebSozo wrote: »
    lauraesh0384 wrote: »
    The biggest issue here is definitely that he didn't ask me in advance. Had he said last night, "Hey, I want to go to dinner tomorrow night", I would had been able to plan accordingly. By the time I had breakfast and lunch I was already at 1400 calories. I usually eat around 2000-2100. Some of the chain restaurants we like, it's not hard to blow those calories out of the water. Not to mention he kept asking me what some low calorie options are and wouldn't hone in on a specific restaurant. Hopefully he'll take into consideration what I said about planning in advance. And I know for a fact that if I went and didn't order anything he would get upset just the same as if I said I didn't want to go. I have avoided eating out for the most part because I like knowing what's going into my food and how many calories I'm really consuming. When I cook at home, I am in total control of that.

    If you look online sometimes restaurants post menus. Plus, choosing ahead of time will help you keep the calories low by not looking at the other items when you get in the restaurant. There is usually a "lighter fare" section of the menu that have 500 calories or less. Then you could cut out 100 calories a day for 5 days in order to make up for the one meal overage and hardly notice the impact for the week. Setting up dates ahead of time does seem like a great solution as mentioned.

    Last time we went to Texas Roadhouse I literally found myself finding something that I wanted then looking each individual item up on here. It was such a pain because they don't offer nutritional information on their website. I'll have to see if other similar steak houses have their information online. I managed to find Olive Gardens in a nice PDF format.

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