'I'm fat and happy' article. Thoughts?
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snowflake930 wrote: »It is prejudice to say no one can be happy if they are fat.
Same as any other prejudice.
You can insert any demographic or characteristic and claim the same thing, "you can't be happy because you are rich, poor, short, tall, fat, thin, blue eyed, brown eyed, live in the city, live in the country" pick any identifying trait.
It is simply ridiculous to say, that because you are overweight you can not be happy.
I don't quite get why you're putting everything in the same basket, but whatever... Got to ask though - can someone who's really poor be REALLY happy? I mean, I suppose they'd be constantly worrying about their bills or being able to put food on the table. I can't imagine that someone with blue eyes would be worried about anything like that (nor can I imagine that an obese person isn't worrying about potential health issues showing up later because of their weight). So it's kinda apples and oranges.
Or maybe we just don't have the same definition of 'happy'. I don't know if I could be really happy, personally, knowing that I'm in a situation that could put me at risk of starving and/or getting really sick. Or again, I suppose that people in denial wouldn't worry about that... so maybe they could be happy.
Also, because I like arguing (clearly) - she doesn't seem 'borderline overweight' on the pictures to me. She looks like I did when I was obese. So I guess she's EXTREMELY in denial if she thinks that she only put on 10 pounds... which would probably explain her happiness.
Denial is a powerful thing.3 -
Got to ask though - can someone who's really poor be REALLY happy? I mean, I suppose they'd be constantly worrying about their bills or being able to put food on the table.
Coming from someone who is exactly in this situation, yes, I'm very happy. Yes, I stress about the bills and food but it doesn't mean I'm not happy.
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SassyMommasaurus wrote: »Got to ask though - can someone who's really poor be REALLY happy? I mean, I suppose they'd be constantly worrying about their bills or being able to put food on the table.
Coming from someone who is exactly in this situation, yes, I'm very happy. Yes, I stress about the bills and food but it doesn't mean I'm not happy.
Exactly!
Everyone has something to worry about, it does not mean they can not be happy.
Saying someone couldn't be happy because of how they look is ludicrous. You can not possibly know they are not happy by looking at someone.
And it doesn't matter how much she weighs, she says she is happy, why can't you believe her?
It kind of looks like some others are projecting their feelings and insecurities onto this woman who is proclaiming to be happier being overweight.
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snowflake930 wrote: »It is prejudice to say no one can be happy if they are fat.
Same as any other prejudice.
You can insert any demographic or characteristic and claim the same thing, "you can't be happy because you are rich, poor, short, tall, fat, thin, blue eyed, brown eyed, live in the city, live in the country" pick any identifying trait.
It is simply ridiculous to say, that because you are overweight you can not be happy.
I don't quite get why you're putting everything in the same basket, but whatever... Got to ask though - can someone who's really poor be REALLY happy? I mean, I suppose they'd be constantly worrying about their bills or being able to put food on the table. I can't imagine that someone with blue eyes would be worried about anything like that (nor can I imagine that an obese person isn't worrying about potential health issues showing up later because of their weight). So it's kinda apples and oranges.
Or maybe we just don't have the same definition of 'happy'. I don't know if I could be really happy, personally, knowing that I'm in a situation that could put me at risk of starving and/or getting really sick. Or again, I suppose that people in denial wouldn't worry about that... so maybe they could be happy.
Also, because I like arguing (clearly) - she doesn't seem 'borderline overweight' on the pictures to me. She looks like I did when I was obese. So I guess she's EXTREMELY in denial if she thinks that she only put on 10 pounds... which would probably explain her happiness.
Denial is a powerful thing.
We are all so different and I don't find it difficult to imagine that a very poor person could also be happy.
This conversation reminds me of when I was in college. I went to a university that was big on pharmacy and engineering. I was in the business college, which was looked down on by many of the pharmacy and engineering majors. One engineering major said to me "why would anybody ever major in accounting? Who would want to be anything other than an engineer?" And this person was dead serious. As in, everybody everywhere all around the world should want to be in engineering. Absolutely no consideration of the idea that we are all different, with different goals and priorities and likes and dislikes and personalities.4 -
snowflake930 wrote: »It is prejudice to say no one can be happy if they are fat.
Same as any other prejudice.
You can insert any demographic or characteristic and claim the same thing, "you can't be happy because you are rich, poor, short, tall, fat, thin, blue eyed, brown eyed, live in the city, live in the country" pick any identifying trait.
It is simply ridiculous to say, that because you are overweight you can not be happy.
I don't quite get why you're putting everything in the same basket, but whatever... Got to ask though - can someone who's really poor be REALLY happy? I mean, I suppose they'd be constantly worrying about their bills or being able to put food on the table. I can't imagine that someone with blue eyes would be worried about anything like that (nor can I imagine that an obese person isn't worrying about potential health issues showing up later because of their weight). So it's kinda apples and oranges.
Or maybe we just don't have the same definition of 'happy'. I don't know if I could be really happy, personally, knowing that I'm in a situation that could put me at risk of starving and/or getting really sick. Or again, I suppose that people in denial wouldn't worry about that... so maybe they could be happy.
Also, because I like arguing (clearly) - she doesn't seem 'borderline overweight' on the pictures to me. She looks like I did when I was obese. So I guess she's EXTREMELY in denial if she thinks that she only put on 10 pounds... which would probably explain her happiness.
Denial is a powerful thing.
You might not be happy and satisfied with things like lack of money and bills piling up but you can have plenty of other good things in your life to keep you happy. If those other things are good enough for yourself and there's enough of those good things for you, would you think you are happy for those things and when you are doing those things you love and enjoy? Happiness is a feeling, not a permanent state, and it lasts as long as you feel good about the things you love and enjoy even if you don't have them right that moment. Memories can make you happy and even tho you might not be where those memories happened right now you still can feel warmth from them. Dreams can make you happy even when they aren't easily achievable or available right now for different reasons.
We certainly don't have same definition of happy but everyone has something that makes them happy and the real gift comes from embracing those good things and not giving too much power for the negative stuff.0 -
snowflake930 wrote: »It is prejudice to say no one can be happy if they are fat.
Same as any other prejudice.
You can insert any demographic or characteristic and claim the same thing, "you can't be happy because you are rich, poor, short, tall, fat, thin, blue eyed, brown eyed, live in the city, live in the country" pick any identifying trait.
It is simply ridiculous to say, that because you are overweight you can not be happy.
I don't quite get why you're putting everything in the same basket, but whatever... Got to ask though - can someone who's really poor be REALLY happy? I mean, I suppose they'd be constantly worrying about their bills or being able to put food on the table. I can't imagine that someone with blue eyes would be worried about anything like that (nor can I imagine that an obese person isn't worrying about potential health issues showing up later because of their weight). So it's kinda apples and oranges.
Or maybe we just don't have the same definition of 'happy'. I don't know if I could be really happy, personally, knowing that I'm in a situation that could put me at risk of starving and/or getting really sick. Or again, I suppose that people in denial wouldn't worry about that... so maybe they could be happy.
Also, because I like arguing (clearly) - she doesn't seem 'borderline overweight' on the pictures to me. She looks like I did when I was obese. So I guess she's EXTREMELY in denial if she thinks that she only put on 10 pounds... which would probably explain her happiness.
Denial is a powerful thing.
Yes very poor people can be exceptionally happy.
why couldn't they be...if they have what makes them happy in their life...perhaps all that person needs is a roof over their head and enough food to eat so they don't starve..
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Ok so we don't have the same definition of happy! Very interesting either way to get other points of view.0
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Ok so we don't have the same definition of happy! Very interesting either way to get other points of view.
I think what makes us happy is defined by a lot of different things.
I would be very happy in the middle of the woods with a good book(s) and my husband and enough food to eat and that's all I need...but I am happy with what we have now too.
I was happy fat, I was happy single, I am happy married, I am happy not fat...I was happy being a single mom without a tonne of money...I am happy with a significant increase to household income...maybe I am just a happy person.3 -
MissusMoon wrote: »I'm chasing the dream of being able to do certain yoga positions without a gut in the way.
OMG! This!!!! The idea of being smothered by my own stomach fat during plow was truly terrifying!
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The fact of the matter is that, no matter your size, being what most consider "fit" is not an easy task. It takes hard work, dedication, and patience. Most people are not willing to put in the effort that it takes to achieve or maintain that level of fitness. It's so much easier to come home and relax or wake up and unwind before work than it is to get into a habit of exercising. It's much easier to just eat what you want without regard to calories or hunger level than it is to consider whether or not you really need to eat at that moment.
I am what many people would consider to be fit but I work hard for that. Working hard does not include starving myself, but it does include keeping an eye on my intake, which is 2000+ as stated above, it takes working out every morning for 30 to 60 minutes, it takes walking several miles per day and being generally active. Even then, I still don't consider myself fit, just a bit above average although people tell me otherwise. The point is that many people want the fitness model body without wanting to put in the work that it takes to get there. Society as a whole wants instant gratification.
I understand what you're trying to say, but I think you're falling into the oversimplifying trap I was mentioning. You're relating people's heaviness with laziness and gluttony, and ignoring all of the social, educational, mental and other barriers there are to losing weight and as contributors to weight gain in the first place. I think saying people are "not willing" and just want to take the "easy route" for instant gratification is doing a disservice to complex human beings and lumping a very large group of people (no pun intended) into one category. There's very little that's easy when living as an obese person.
(referring to another one of your posts) I also think saying fat phobia does not affect you is akin to saying "I'm not racist". I'm not saying it does affect you, but I think it's one of those things that can be inherent in different levels based on the way society has molded us, whether or not we're conscious of it, and is difficult to recognize in yourself. Fat phobia affects me. It does, even though I try to keep it in check. I recognize it's there. If I'm completely honest with myself, I would say that I do find thinner people more aesthetically pleasing. I have found myself in my past acting differently to someone after they had lost a lot of weight. I wish that wasn't the case, especially since I'm obese myself. It's really hard to step outside of ourselves sometimes.
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Ok so we don't have the same definition of happy! Very interesting either way to get other points of view.
Just out of curiosity, what IS your definition of happiness? Happiness is complex and very subjective. It seems to me your definition would be unattainable. We hear of people all the time who seemingly have everything- gorgeous movie stars with very desirable spouses and beautiful families, amazing homes, etc.... who are not happy. We feel what we feel- humans are weird like that.0 -
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Ok so we don't have the same definition of happy! Very interesting either way to get other points of view.
Just out of curiosity, what IS your definition of happiness? Happiness is complex and very subjective. It seems to me your definition would be unattainable. We hear of people all the time who seemingly have everything- gorgeous movie stars with very desirable spouses and beautiful families, amazing homes, etc.... who are not happy. We feel what we feel- humans are weird like that.
Honestly the key to happiness for me is actually not to have to worry! Obviously there's always something to worry about, but there's a big difference between little worries and 'oh man can I pay my bills this month?'.
And yeah - worrying that you might end up with a heart attack or diabetes would probably end up in the 'not a huge worry for the moment' category - which is why I see why people who are fat can be happy. It's just that I don't think that this kind of happiness can last - because denial only takes you as far as your next doctor check up when they tell you that you're at a big risk for heart disease and insist on taking an EKG. Then you freak out... and that's not 'happy'.0 -
And i have a question, why does being poor mean put me at risk of getting really sick? I have insurance, as do m kids, I go to the doctor regularly.
Now my mother, who gets enough money a month to live comfortably for the rest of her life, can't get insurance because she makes too much and not enough money all at the same time, it would cost her, her whole pay check every month to pay for insurance. She has to be listed as my dependent to get insurance. Last November she was hospitalized because her liver was failing, and she rarely drinks or take any medication that would harm her liver. Now depends on me to take care of her because something is going on and shes become very frail and weak and is a fall risk. She wasn't poor when this happened to her.1 -
Ok so we don't have the same definition of happy! Very interesting either way to get other points of view.
Just out of curiosity, what IS your definition of happiness? Happiness is complex and very subjective. It seems to me your definition would be unattainable. We hear of people all the time who seemingly have everything- gorgeous movie stars with very desirable spouses and beautiful families, amazing homes, etc.... who are not happy. We feel what we feel- humans are weird like that.
Honestly the key to happiness for me is actually not to have to worry! Obviously there's always something to worry about, but there's a big difference between little worries and 'oh man can I pay my bills this month?'.
And yeah - worrying that you might end up with a heart attack or diabetes would probably end up in the 'not a huge worry for the moment' category - which is why I see why people who are fat can be happy. It's just that I don't think that this kind of happiness can last - because denial only takes you as far as your next doctor check up when they tell you that you're at a big risk for heart disease and insist on taking an EKG. Then you freak out... and that's not 'happy'.
Well, there are no guarantees in life.
You could be in perfect health, with a "perfect" life. Go in to the doctor and get the news that you have some inoperable disease and have a few weeks to live. What then?
No guarantees in life, no matter who you are, or how healthy you think you are. It is not just about overweight people that have health issues. I know, and have known plenty of normal sized people, who have gotten very serious health issues, and some have even succumbed to them. Just saying.
So be happy, don't worry.
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I don't quite get why you're putting everything in the same basket, but whatever... Got to ask though - can someone who's really poor be REALLY happy?
Just saw this one sentence and had to jump in. In my previous post, I mentioned that the happiest 2 years of my life happened when I was 300-400 pounds. It just so happens that I was also living right around the poverty line. We kept our bills as low as possible but kept a roof over our head and obviously enough food (if not food with much variety) on our table, and did inexpensive things at home to stay occupied. We never had to worry about the power getting shut off because of our careful money management, but one financial emergency could have been catastrophic, so yes, there was fear.
And like a few people have mentioned, if I wasn't so content with who I was and in such a good mental place, there's no way I would have started working on my weight again.5 -
The fact of the matter is that, no matter your size, being what most consider "fit" is not an easy task. It takes hard work, dedication, and patience. Most people are not willing to put in the effort that it takes to achieve or maintain that level of fitness. It's so much easier to come home and relax or wake up and unwind before work than it is to get into a habit of exercising. It's much easier to just eat what you want without regard to calories or hunger level than it is to consider whether or not you really need to eat at that moment.
I am what many people would consider to be fit but I work hard for that. Working hard does not include starving myself, but it does include keeping an eye on my intake, which is 2000+ as stated above, it takes working out every morning for 30 to 60 minutes, it takes walking several miles per day and being generally active. Even then, I still don't consider myself fit, just a bit above average although people tell me otherwise. The point is that many people want the fitness model body without wanting to put in the work that it takes to get there. Society as a whole wants instant gratification.
I understand what you're trying to say, but I think you're falling into the oversimplifying trap I was mentioning. You're relating people's heaviness with laziness and gluttony, and ignoring all of the social, educational, mental and other barriers there are to losing weight and as contributors to weight gain in the first place. I think saying people are "not willing" and just want to take the "easy route" for instant gratification is doing a disservice to complex human beings and lumping a very large group of people (no pun intended) into one category. There's very little that's easy when living as an obese person.
(referring to another one of your posts) I also think saying fat phobia does not affect you is akin to saying "I'm not racist". I'm not saying it does affect you, but I think it's one of those things that can be inherent in different levels based on the way society has molded us, whether or not we're conscious of it, and is difficult to recognize in yourself. Fat phobia affects me. It does, even though I try to keep it in check. I recognize it's there. If I'm completely honest with myself, I would say that I do find thinner people more aesthetically pleasing. I have found myself in my past acting differently to someone after they had lost a lot of weight. I wish that wasn't the case, especially since I'm obese myself. It's really hard to step outside of ourselves sometimes.
That's fair. I meant fat phobia doesn't affect me in a way it would someone else. I feel like it would be unfair for me to claim such, similarly to how racism doesn't affect me as much as it would someone else seeing as even though I'm a person of color, I'm white passing so I'm not subjected to the same level of nonsense and hate as others are. I cannot get into the aesthetically pleasing aspects of it all, as I do not operate the same way as others in that sense. I have no interest in other people on a romantic/aesthetic level, so I don't find myself influenced by society with regard to attraction. I just know what I want myself to look like; strong and fit. Not to attract others, but to appease myself.
I'm well aware that there are social, mental, educational and other barriers with regard to weight. I've specifically stated that it is unfair to assume that anyone who is overweight does nothing but eat donuts all day long in a previous post. My highest weight was 190 pounds at age 18; I came from a dysfunctional home where my mother placed zero emphasis on nutritious food, let alone even cooking on a regular basis. At 18, I ended up losing weight because I was tired of feeling like crap. It became easier to do with my level of hyperactivity. My own weight gain in the future was due to my mental health status. I have Asperger's and was eventually put on medication for anxiety so I could live my life like a fully functioning adult. The medication turned me into a zombie, so I laid around all day doing nothing aside from working. In turn, this put me in a depressed state. In the end, I chose to break the cycle. I know not everyone has the ability to do that without medication. It wasn't until I realized the power of routine for myself that I was able to turn my life around. I still have to deal with anxiety issues, but a specific sleep and exercise routine has worked wonders for me regarding that. I don't have to take meds at all anymore and I feel like a completely different person due to my new lifestyle. I'm not saying this is the solution for everyone either, my sister has Multiple Sclerosis and she can't just get up and move even if she wanted to. My point in that post was that regardless of situations, improving yourself has to do with CICO and exercise, point blank. There really is no other way to fix it. You can earn more money, you can find the right combo of meds, you can become educated about the right foods, but unless you adjust CICO you're not going to lose any weight whatsoever. Unless you exercise, you're not going to have a chiseled physique. Even someone with all the money in the world literally cannot buy abs, they have to put in the work for them. Let's be really honest here though, most people really are NOT willing to put in the work to get there no matter their size, as I also stated above. I didn't say that lack of effort was exclusive to overweight people. There are plenty of lazy thin people out there.0 -
Honestly the key to happiness for me is actually not to have to worry!
Good luck with never having anything ever to worry about? That's an interesting definition. No matter how much money you make or what you look like or how great you take care of your health, life happens. Man plans and God laughs and such.
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snowflake930 wrote: »Ok so we don't have the same definition of happy! Very interesting either way to get other points of view.
Just out of curiosity, what IS your definition of happiness? Happiness is complex and very subjective. It seems to me your definition would be unattainable. We hear of people all the time who seemingly have everything- gorgeous movie stars with very desirable spouses and beautiful families, amazing homes, etc.... who are not happy. We feel what we feel- humans are weird like that.
Honestly the key to happiness for me is actually not to have to worry! Obviously there's always something to worry about, but there's a big difference between little worries and 'oh man can I pay my bills this month?'.
And yeah - worrying that you might end up with a heart attack or diabetes would probably end up in the 'not a huge worry for the moment' category - which is why I see why people who are fat can be happy. It's just that I don't think that this kind of happiness can last - because denial only takes you as far as your next doctor check up when they tell you that you're at a big risk for heart disease and insist on taking an EKG. Then you freak out... and that's not 'happy'.
Well, there are no guarantees in life.
You could be in perfect health, with a "perfect" life. Go in to the doctor and get the news that you have some inoperable disease and have a few weeks to live. What then?
No guarantees in life, no matter who you are, or how healthy you think you are. It is not just about overweight people that have health issues. I know, and have known plenty of normal sized people, who have gotten very serious health issues, and some have even succumbed to them. Just saying.
So be happy, don't worry.
Which is pretty much what I said... that people can perfectly be happy being fat. Until they get sick because of it.
Perfect example - my dad. He was very happy. Ate too much, drank too much, although he was never obese, but definitely overweight... well his aorta split when he was 47 because of his blood pressure. He survived, but died 7 years later from complications after a follow-up surgery.
So again, my point - you can be perfectly happy being fat. It just probably won't last forever - and I just don't think that most happy fat people are really aware of that - or they just don't want to think about it.
That's all.SassyMommasaurus wrote: »And i have a question, why does being poor mean put me at risk of getting really sick? I have insurance, as do m kids, I go to the doctor regularly.
Now my mother, who gets enough money a month to live comfortably for the rest of her life, can't get insurance because she makes too much and not enough money all at the same time, it would cost her, her whole pay check every month to pay for insurance. She has to be listed as my dependent to get insurance. Last November she was hospitalized because her liver was failing, and she rarely drinks or take any medication that would harm her liver. Now depends on me to take care of her because something is going on and shes become very frail and weak and is a fall risk. She wasn't poor when this happened to her.
The 'getting sick' part was related to being obese.0 -
Honestly the key to happiness for me is actually not to have to worry!
Everyone worries about something. Before the Jacka** who is the father of my children left, we didn't worry about the bills or food, but I still worried.
I worried about my kids mostly, still do, just random crap. Being a mother even with money I worry, it's what mothers do.
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SassyMommasaurus wrote: »And i have a question, why does being poor mean put me at risk of getting really sick? I have insurance, as do m kids, I go to the doctor regularly.
Now my mother, who gets enough money a month to live comfortably for the rest of her life, can't get insurance because she makes too much and not enough money all at the same time, it would cost her, her whole pay check every month to pay for insurance. She has to be listed as my dependent to get insurance. Last November she was hospitalized because her liver was failing, and she rarely drinks or take any medication that would harm her liver. Now depends on me to take care of her because something is going on and shes become very frail and weak and is a fall risk. She wasn't poor when this happened to her.
I would have considered your mom in a worse situation than you (or at least the same). If you can't afford health insurance, then you don't have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of your life. That would have been a major source of stress for me.
That being said, I don't think being poor means you can't be happy. Some of the least "happy" people I know have more than they need.0 -
SassyMommasaurus wrote: »Honestly the key to happiness for me is actually not to have to worry!
Everyone worries about something. Before the Jacka** who is the father of my children left, we didn't worry about the bills or food, but I still worried.
I worried about my kids mostly, still do, just random crap. Being a mother even with money I worry, it's what mothers do.
Eh I worry about my kids too. But that's not such a huge deal as worrying if my husband is going to lose his job or how we're going to pay the mortgage, you know?0 -
SassyMommasaurus wrote: »And i have a question, why does being poor mean put me at risk of getting really sick? I have insurance, as do m kids, I go to the doctor regularly.
Now my mother, who gets enough money a month to live comfortably for the rest of her life, can't get insurance because she makes too much and not enough money all at the same time, it would cost her, her whole pay check every month to pay for insurance. She has to be listed as my dependent to get insurance. Last November she was hospitalized because her liver was failing, and she rarely drinks or take any medication that would harm her liver. Now depends on me to take care of her because something is going on and shes become very frail and weak and is a fall risk. She wasn't poor when this happened to her.
I would have considered your mom in a worse situation than you (or at least the same). If you can't afford health insurance, then you don't have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of your life. That would have been a major source of stress for me.
That being said, I don't think being poor means you can't be happy. Some of the least "happy" people I know have more than they need.
She should of been able to get health insurance. She actually got a quote for insurance for just $80 a month, then went to fill it out and magically it was $1000 a month, lovely Obama Care, it's complete *kitten*. And that isn't just a problem with her, that's a problem with many elderly. I say the Elderly are more at risk because they can't get insurance, not poor. Poor can get insurance easily.0 -
Never mind all that...Congrats on getting a photo with Tom Hiddleston at Wizard World, haha.1
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I think it really depends on the person and you can't speak in general at all (surprise).
When I gain weight, and I'm not overweight anymore and never was really obese, just slightly overweight, chubby, and it happens in a short period of time, I realize the weight on my body. My belly is annoying and can get in the way - it might sound ridiculous because it's not a big belly, but from flat stomach, quickly gain 5-10 kgs, then bend down, I definitely notice a difference and it bugs me. Even if I completely ignore the looks-issue, being overweight for me contains being unfit (what I personally consider unfit for myself) and I hate that feeling (might not be the same for everyone), while I really like the feeling of being in shape, strong, with nothing wobbling and feeling like having excess energy, some kind of positive tension.
So, yeah, suddenly being her would bug me a lot, but she seems to be happier this way. I would have to force myself to eat lots of stuff, probably junk, to gain a big amount of weight. I say "force" because I don't really want to eat excess food and junk, sure it's fun and I love pizza and cookies and stuff and I've been there, but I never really enjoyed doing it. Especially because I knew better. For me personally, I know you can also gain weight with bananas, avocados and nuts, sweet potatoes, coconut oil etc., it doesn't make sense to overeat on these things and I don't crave them enough, so it simply doesn't happen for me. Being overweight would go against what I believe is good for me and what I feel is good for me and just hinder my fitness goals. That's why I could never be happier the way she is, and all of this is not even based on looks.
But everybody has different fitness goals as well. Some people feel fit when they are able to run, or do yoga, or ride a bike, then they feel great. I don't see anything wrong with that and I would never go and say: "Uh uh you are not fit because you can't do this and that and are 20 pounds overweight", all of this is highly indidivual and when someone feels good in their body, who am I to try to find fault in that?0 -
snowflake930 wrote: »Ok so we don't have the same definition of happy! Very interesting either way to get other points of view.
Just out of curiosity, what IS your definition of happiness? Happiness is complex and very subjective. It seems to me your definition would be unattainable. We hear of people all the time who seemingly have everything- gorgeous movie stars with very desirable spouses and beautiful families, amazing homes, etc.... who are not happy. We feel what we feel- humans are weird like that.
Honestly the key to happiness for me is actually not to have to worry! Obviously there's always something to worry about, but there's a big difference between little worries and 'oh man can I pay my bills this month?'.
And yeah - worrying that you might end up with a heart attack or diabetes would probably end up in the 'not a huge worry for the moment' category - which is why I see why people who are fat can be happy. It's just that I don't think that this kind of happiness can last - because denial only takes you as far as your next doctor check up when they tell you that you're at a big risk for heart disease and insist on taking an EKG. Then you freak out... and that's not 'happy'.
Well, there are no guarantees in life.
You could be in perfect health, with a "perfect" life. Go in to the doctor and get the news that you have some inoperable disease and have a few weeks to live. What then?
No guarantees in life, no matter who you are, or how healthy you think you are. It is not just about overweight people that have health issues. I know, and have known plenty of normal sized people, who have gotten very serious health issues, and some have even succumbed to them. Just saying.
So be happy, don't worry.
Which is pretty much what I said... that people can perfectly be happy being fat. Until they get sick because of it.
Perfect example - my dad. He was very happy. Ate too much, drank too much, although he was never obese, but definitely overweight... well his aorta split when he was 47 because of his blood pressure. He survived, but died 7 years later from complications after a follow-up surgery.
So again, my point - you can be perfectly happy being fat. It just probably won't last forever - and I just don't think that most happy fat people are really aware of that - or they just don't want to think about it.
That's all.SassyMommasaurus wrote: »And i have a question, why does being poor mean put me at risk of getting really sick? I have insurance, as do m kids, I go to the doctor regularly.
Now my mother, who gets enough money a month to live comfortably for the rest of her life, can't get insurance because she makes too much and not enough money all at the same time, it would cost her, her whole pay check every month to pay for insurance. She has to be listed as my dependent to get insurance. Last November she was hospitalized because her liver was failing, and she rarely drinks or take any medication that would harm her liver. Now depends on me to take care of her because something is going on and shes become very frail and weak and is a fall risk. She wasn't poor when this happened to her.
The 'getting sick' part was related to being obese.
Do you seriously think that every overweight person gets a health issue directly because of being overweight?
Because that simply is not true. I know this for a fact, because I am one of those people. I was morbidly obese for most of my adult life. I will be 65 in September and have been a normal weight for over 2-1/2 years now. Not a single health related issue. Not a single day off of work in the past 10 years for being sick. Hospitalized only 2 times in my life. Tonsils out at 10 years old. Birth of my daughter at 32 years old, neither condition because of being overweight.
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snowflake930 wrote: »Ok so we don't have the same definition of happy! Very interesting either way to get other points of view.
Just out of curiosity, what IS your definition of happiness? Happiness is complex and very subjective. It seems to me your definition would be unattainable. We hear of people all the time who seemingly have everything- gorgeous movie stars with very desirable spouses and beautiful families, amazing homes, etc.... who are not happy. We feel what we feel- humans are weird like that.
Honestly the key to happiness for me is actually not to have to worry! Obviously there's always something to worry about, but there's a big difference between little worries and 'oh man can I pay my bills this month?'.
And yeah - worrying that you might end up with a heart attack or diabetes would probably end up in the 'not a huge worry for the moment' category - which is why I see why people who are fat can be happy. It's just that I don't think that this kind of happiness can last - because denial only takes you as far as your next doctor check up when they tell you that you're at a big risk for heart disease and insist on taking an EKG. Then you freak out... and that's not 'happy'.
Well, there are no guarantees in life.
You could be in perfect health, with a "perfect" life. Go in to the doctor and get the news that you have some inoperable disease and have a few weeks to live. What then?
No guarantees in life, no matter who you are, or how healthy you think you are. It is not just about overweight people that have health issues. I know, and have known plenty of normal sized people, who have gotten very serious health issues, and some have even succumbed to them. Just saying.
So be happy, don't worry.
Which is pretty much what I said... that people can perfectly be happy being fat. Until they get sick because of it.
Perfect example - my dad. He was very happy. Ate too much, drank too much, although he was never obese, but definitely overweight... well his aorta split when he was 47 because of his blood pressure. He survived, but died 7 years later from complications after a follow-up surgery.
So again, my point - you can be perfectly happy being fat. It just probably won't last forever - and I just don't think that most happy fat people are really aware of that - or they just don't want to think about it.
That's all.SassyMommasaurus wrote: »And i have a question, why does being poor mean put me at risk of getting really sick? I have insurance, as do m kids, I go to the doctor regularly.
Now my mother, who gets enough money a month to live comfortably for the rest of her life, can't get insurance because she makes too much and not enough money all at the same time, it would cost her, her whole pay check every month to pay for insurance. She has to be listed as my dependent to get insurance. Last November she was hospitalized because her liver was failing, and she rarely drinks or take any medication that would harm her liver. Now depends on me to take care of her because something is going on and shes become very frail and weak and is a fall risk. She wasn't poor when this happened to her.
The 'getting sick' part was related to being obese.
To the bolded part...my husbands uncles (except the drinker) all died of heart attacks before 30...my husband is slim and trim and a former iron man type athlete...he has high blood pressure...being overweight/fat/obese can cause health problems but...it's not always that way...
so being happy and fat without health issues can happen...maybe not obese etc but fat yah...0 -
snowflake930 wrote: »snowflake930 wrote: »Ok so we don't have the same definition of happy! Very interesting either way to get other points of view.
Just out of curiosity, what IS your definition of happiness? Happiness is complex and very subjective. It seems to me your definition would be unattainable. We hear of people all the time who seemingly have everything- gorgeous movie stars with very desirable spouses and beautiful families, amazing homes, etc.... who are not happy. We feel what we feel- humans are weird like that.
Honestly the key to happiness for me is actually not to have to worry! Obviously there's always something to worry about, but there's a big difference between little worries and 'oh man can I pay my bills this month?'.
And yeah - worrying that you might end up with a heart attack or diabetes would probably end up in the 'not a huge worry for the moment' category - which is why I see why people who are fat can be happy. It's just that I don't think that this kind of happiness can last - because denial only takes you as far as your next doctor check up when they tell you that you're at a big risk for heart disease and insist on taking an EKG. Then you freak out... and that's not 'happy'.
Well, there are no guarantees in life.
You could be in perfect health, with a "perfect" life. Go in to the doctor and get the news that you have some inoperable disease and have a few weeks to live. What then?
No guarantees in life, no matter who you are, or how healthy you think you are. It is not just about overweight people that have health issues. I know, and have known plenty of normal sized people, who have gotten very serious health issues, and some have even succumbed to them. Just saying.
So be happy, don't worry.
Which is pretty much what I said... that people can perfectly be happy being fat. Until they get sick because of it.
Perfect example - my dad. He was very happy. Ate too much, drank too much, although he was never obese, but definitely overweight... well his aorta split when he was 47 because of his blood pressure. He survived, but died 7 years later from complications after a follow-up surgery.
So again, my point - you can be perfectly happy being fat. It just probably won't last forever - and I just don't think that most happy fat people are really aware of that - or they just don't want to think about it.
That's all.SassyMommasaurus wrote: »And i have a question, why does being poor mean put me at risk of getting really sick? I have insurance, as do m kids, I go to the doctor regularly.
Now my mother, who gets enough money a month to live comfortably for the rest of her life, can't get insurance because she makes too much and not enough money all at the same time, it would cost her, her whole pay check every month to pay for insurance. She has to be listed as my dependent to get insurance. Last November she was hospitalized because her liver was failing, and she rarely drinks or take any medication that would harm her liver. Now depends on me to take care of her because something is going on and shes become very frail and weak and is a fall risk. She wasn't poor when this happened to her.
The 'getting sick' part was related to being obese.
Do you seriously think that every overweight person gets a health issue directly because of being overweight?
Because that simply is not true. I know this for a fact, because I am one of those people. I was morbidly obese for most of my adult life. I will be 65 in September and have been a normal weight for over 2-1/2 years now. Not a single health related issue. Not a single day off of work in the past 10 years for being sick. Hospitalized only 2 times in my life. Tonsils out at 10 years old. Birth of my daughter at 32 years old, neither condition because of being overweight.
No, not everyone, that's why I said 'probably'. But most people I know who are obese ended up with some health issue when they got into their 40/50s.0 -
snowflake930 wrote: »snowflake930 wrote: »Ok so we don't have the same definition of happy! Very interesting either way to get other points of view.
Just out of curiosity, what IS your definition of happiness? Happiness is complex and very subjective. It seems to me your definition would be unattainable. We hear of people all the time who seemingly have everything- gorgeous movie stars with very desirable spouses and beautiful families, amazing homes, etc.... who are not happy. We feel what we feel- humans are weird like that.
Honestly the key to happiness for me is actually not to have to worry! Obviously there's always something to worry about, but there's a big difference between little worries and 'oh man can I pay my bills this month?'.
And yeah - worrying that you might end up with a heart attack or diabetes would probably end up in the 'not a huge worry for the moment' category - which is why I see why people who are fat can be happy. It's just that I don't think that this kind of happiness can last - because denial only takes you as far as your next doctor check up when they tell you that you're at a big risk for heart disease and insist on taking an EKG. Then you freak out... and that's not 'happy'.
Well, there are no guarantees in life.
You could be in perfect health, with a "perfect" life. Go in to the doctor and get the news that you have some inoperable disease and have a few weeks to live. What then?
No guarantees in life, no matter who you are, or how healthy you think you are. It is not just about overweight people that have health issues. I know, and have known plenty of normal sized people, who have gotten very serious health issues, and some have even succumbed to them. Just saying.
So be happy, don't worry.
Which is pretty much what I said... that people can perfectly be happy being fat. Until they get sick because of it.
Perfect example - my dad. He was very happy. Ate too much, drank too much, although he was never obese, but definitely overweight... well his aorta split when he was 47 because of his blood pressure. He survived, but died 7 years later from complications after a follow-up surgery.
So again, my point - you can be perfectly happy being fat. It just probably won't last forever - and I just don't think that most happy fat people are really aware of that - or they just don't want to think about it.
That's all.SassyMommasaurus wrote: »And i have a question, why does being poor mean put me at risk of getting really sick? I have insurance, as do m kids, I go to the doctor regularly.
Now my mother, who gets enough money a month to live comfortably for the rest of her life, can't get insurance because she makes too much and not enough money all at the same time, it would cost her, her whole pay check every month to pay for insurance. She has to be listed as my dependent to get insurance. Last November she was hospitalized because her liver was failing, and she rarely drinks or take any medication that would harm her liver. Now depends on me to take care of her because something is going on and shes become very frail and weak and is a fall risk. She wasn't poor when this happened to her.
The 'getting sick' part was related to being obese.
Do you seriously think that every overweight person gets a health issue directly because of being overweight?
Because that simply is not true. I know this for a fact, because I am one of those people. I was morbidly obese for most of my adult life. I will be 65 in September and have been a normal weight for over 2-1/2 years now. Not a single health related issue. Not a single day off of work in the past 10 years for being sick. Hospitalized only 2 times in my life. Tonsils out at 10 years old. Birth of my daughter at 32 years old, neither condition because of being overweight.
No, not everyone, that's why I said 'probably'. But most people I know who are obese ended up with some health issue when they got into their 40/50s.
Everyone I know who has died in my immediate family (mother, father, bil, sister, fil, mil) has been thin or normal weight. Dad had cancer, mom had emphysema, bil had type 2 diabetes (he was very slender), sister had cancer(3 different types, breast cancer @ 39 (no family history) brain and adrenal cancer at age 54 (which she was diagnosed and died from in 6 weeks) she was teeny tiny, barely 100# soaking wet. Doc's said she had no fat reserves to fight the cancer, go figure. If I had gotten it, I had plenty of fat reserves to tide me over. Father in law, heart disease, hereditary, never overweight in his life. Mother in law, also normal weight. Heavy smoker. Lung disease.
Don't generalize. Not probably. Maybe.
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