'I'm fat and happy' article. Thoughts?
Options
Replies
-
perkymommy wrote: »I will never agree with people who say they are fat and happy. It's not possible. They just want to be that way and settle because they don't want to try to do anything to not be fat anymore because it's too hard to lose weight. That may sound harsh but I've been there myself and thought that way myself at times. It's never okay to be fat or obese, health-wise mainly, but not good.
It's completely possible. Denial does that. The problem is that for most people, it will just not work long term. Eventually health issues WILL catch up to them (like it did for a lot of us, I assume). But I honestly I have no doubt that the author of the article is happier now. I was happy too when I could eat whatever I want and not gain weight (I was already obese) and didn't have to worry about calories.0 -
MissusMoon wrote: »perkymommy wrote: »I will never agree with people who say they are fat and happy. It's not possible. They just want to be that way and settle because they don't want to try to do anything to not be fat anymore because it's too hard to lose weight. That may sound harsh but I've been there myself and thought that way myself at times. It's never okay to be fat or obese, health-wise mainly, but not good.
The fact that you failed at being happy while overweight doesn't mean that others will fail too.
Thank you.
I was very happy, confident, felt attractive, ok in my own skin. I worked VERY hard to get there. The problem is I'm 44, was continuing to gain, and I could no longer stave off the impacts on my health and quality of life. The obesity catches up with people. I was also getting physically uncomfortable with the limitation the weight was creating.
I'm not chasing a dress size or some ideal body. My goal weight is a few pounds into the overweight BMI category, but my doctor agrees that with my frame and current muscle base, that's a great place to be as long as I remain active. I'm not caught up in some mythical idealization of thinness.
I'm chasing the notion that there are forms of dance I'll be able to excel in again. I'm chasing the dream of being able to do certain yoga positions without a gut in the way. I'm chasing the opportunity to see my future grandchildren. Huge difference. I know my weight doesn't equal happiness. I have already learned to truly love myself. That is precisely the reason why I am losing this weight.
I think there is also a big difference between being slightly into the overweight bmi category and morbidly obese. Judging by her picture, the author of that article is the former, not the later.0 -
Well, I am fat, and I am happy but I don't know if they correlate with each other. Probably not since I'm trying to lose weight lol.1
-
perkymommy wrote: »I will never agree with people who say they are fat and happy. It's not possible. They just want to be that way and settle because they don't want to try to do anything to not be fat anymore because it's too hard to lose weight. That may sound harsh but I've been there myself and thought that way myself at times. It's never okay to be fat or obese, health-wise mainly, but not good.
Nah, we're not all you.
I was fat and happy, now I'm thin and happy. I was fat and reasonably fit, now I'm thin and reasonably fit. I didn't look "hot" when I was fat, and I don't now. I liked myself then (including my body), and I like myself now. But no question, I'm healthier now, and that seems like a worthwhile reason for me to lose weight.
Not gonna speak for other people. Sounds like the woman who wrote the article is happier fat, though. It's her life.VintageFeline wrote: »Really, that article is less about weight and more about finding contentment within yourself regardless of how you're physically packaged. Something we should all aspire to.
I've been content with my physical appearance when fat and am still now that I'm less fat. I hope to be content when I get to goal too.
So yeah, this about finding inner peace and not being reliant on external factors. It could easily apply to jobs, partners, money etc. It just so happens her measure is her weight.
If you are content with your physical appearance what drives to try and lose weight?
(Genuine question, not trying to be snarky)
Y'know, people's assumptions around this subject surprise me at a visceral level. I'm really pretty uninterested in my physical appearance, fat or thin, and have been so since I was maybe in my 20s (and that's not the only sense in which I seem to be kind of a misfit as a standard woman in our culture . . . meh.).
Health. Feeling good.
One friend, who thinks I've gotten too thin, was fussing that I was doing the wrong thing in pursuit of a better appearance. Like I told her: If I cared that much about my appearance, I'd get breast reconstruction (had bilateral mastectomies, so I'm slightly concave), dye my hair, improve my teeth, and spend more time and money on my clothes. Body size is waaaay down the list for appearance-improvement potential, if I really cared.
One more thing: Lots of folks on the thread seemed filled with horror that she has implied that looking fat is the definition of looking like a mom. I was prepared to be similarly dismayed, but that's not at all what I thought when I actually read the article. Yeah, the article's about her being fat vs. thin, and preferring fat.
But the "I’m the one who looks like the mother." is under a photo of eight people of several ages, both sexes, and varying body types. She points herself out by saying "I'm the one that looks like the mother." She's saying which of the eight people she is - and yup, of those eight, she's the one who looks like the mother (age & sex mostly). Jeez.5 -
BillMcKay1 wrote: »MissusMoon wrote: »perkymommy wrote: »I will never agree with people who say they are fat and happy. It's not possible. They just want to be that way and settle because they don't want to try to do anything to not be fat anymore because it's too hard to lose weight. That may sound harsh but I've been there myself and thought that way myself at times. It's never okay to be fat or obese, health-wise mainly, but not good.
The fact that you failed at being happy while overweight doesn't mean that others will fail too.
Thank you.
I was very happy, confident, felt attractive, ok in my own skin. I worked VERY hard to get there. The problem is I'm 44, was continuing to gain, and I could no longer stave off the impacts on my health and quality of life. The obesity catches up with people. I was also getting physically uncomfortable with the limitation the weight was creating.
I'm not chasing a dress size or some ideal body. My goal weight is a few pounds into the overweight BMI category, but my doctor agrees that with my frame and current muscle base, that's a great place to be as long as I remain active. I'm not caught up in some mythical idealization of thinness.
I'm chasing the notion that there are forms of dance I'll be able to excel in again. I'm chasing the dream of being able to do certain yoga positions without a gut in the way. I'm chasing the opportunity to see my future grandchildren. Huge difference. I know my weight doesn't equal happiness. I have already learned to truly love myself. That is precisely the reason why I am losing this weight.
I think there is also a big difference between being slightly into the overweight bmi category and morbidly obese. Judging by her picture, the author of that article is the former, not the later.
I'm not, nor have I been in the morbidly obese category.0 -
MissusMoon wrote: »BillMcKay1 wrote: »MissusMoon wrote: »perkymommy wrote: »I will never agree with people who say they are fat and happy. It's not possible. They just want to be that way and settle because they don't want to try to do anything to not be fat anymore because it's too hard to lose weight. That may sound harsh but I've been there myself and thought that way myself at times. It's never okay to be fat or obese, health-wise mainly, but not good.
The fact that you failed at being happy while overweight doesn't mean that others will fail too.
Thank you.
I was very happy, confident, felt attractive, ok in my own skin. I worked VERY hard to get there. The problem is I'm 44, was continuing to gain, and I could no longer stave off the impacts on my health and quality of life. The obesity catches up with people. I was also getting physically uncomfortable with the limitation the weight was creating.
I'm not chasing a dress size or some ideal body. My goal weight is a few pounds into the overweight BMI category, but my doctor agrees that with my frame and current muscle base, that's a great place to be as long as I remain active. I'm not caught up in some mythical idealization of thinness.
I'm chasing the notion that there are forms of dance I'll be able to excel in again. I'm chasing the dream of being able to do certain yoga positions without a gut in the way. I'm chasing the opportunity to see my future grandchildren. Huge difference. I know my weight doesn't equal happiness. I have already learned to truly love myself. That is precisely the reason why I am losing this weight.
I think there is also a big difference between being slightly into the overweight bmi category and morbidly obese. Judging by her picture, the author of that article is the former, not the later.
I'm not, nor have I been in the morbidly obese category.
Sorry, I wasn't saying you were. Just more on the feeling by some that you can't be fat and happy and your example of your goal still being in the overweight by BMI category or the author of the piece. I think it is very possible to be overweight and happy, but that happiness is most likely going to fade as a person moves from a bit overweight to obese to morbidly obese. When your health deteriorates, and you start to get aches and pains from the excess weight, your quality of life and resulting level of happiness is going to take a hit.
I was at my heaviest ever last fall at 275lbs. I started to experience all those things and my happiness level certainly started taking a hit. At 245lbs I still am well in the overweight category but I feel better, move better and my happiness has increased significantly, all while still overweight.1 -
snowflake930 wrote: »perkymommy wrote: »I will never agree with people who say they are fat and happy. It's not possible. They just want to be that way and settle because they don't want to try to do anything to not be fat anymore because it's too hard to lose weight. That may sound harsh but I've been there myself and thought that way myself at times. It's never okay to be fat or obese, health-wise mainly, but not good.
Not possible for you, but you are judging by your standards. How can you say it is not possible for someone else.
I'm not saying I agree with the statement that people who are fat cannot be happy in their own skin, but I think there is a small truth in the statement as far as the settling bit is concerned.
Let's say you took 100 people who claimed they were happy being overweight, fat, or obese and asked them if they'd like to follow a weight loss plan to be in a healthy weight range and they said no, they're happy with their body. Okay fine, if that's the case then good. Say you then told those 100 people that you had a pill they could swallow where all that work to be done in the gym and changing their eating habits would be negated and all they had to do was take this pill once and lose some weight, how many of those 100 do you think would deny that offer? I'm willing to bet the amount of content people would change immensely.
The fact of the matter is that, no matter your size, being what most consider "fit" is not an easy task. It takes hard work, dedication, and patience. Most people are not willing to put in the effort that it takes to achieve or maintain that level of fitness. It's so much easier to come home and relax or wake up and unwind before work than it is to get into a habit of exercising. It's much easier to just eat what you want without regard to calories or hunger level than it is to consider whether or not you really need to eat at that moment.
I am what many people would consider to be fit but I work hard for that. Working hard does not include starving myself, but it does include keeping an eye on my intake, which is 2000+ as stated above, it takes working out every morning for 30 to 60 minutes, it takes walking several miles per day and being generally active. Even then, I still don't consider myself fit, just a bit above average although people tell me otherwise. The point is that many people want the fitness model body without wanting to put in the work that it takes to get there. Society as a whole wants instant gratification.
I'm not sure I'm really following your pill illustration. It seems like you are saying that taking the offer of the pill means that a person is actively wanting to be more fit and is settling for not doing it because it's too much work. If somebody offered me a pill that would make me an excellent pianist or baker or hockey player or linguist, I would say "yeah, sure I'll take it." But that doesn't mean that I am right now sitting here wanting to be an excellent pianist/baker/hockey player/linguist. It just means that if somebody said I could be those things I'd take it because, sure, why not? I like free stuff just fine and will accept it but can certain happily live without it as well.
I understand what you're saying, but while all of that does take effort as well, it doesn't change the person's physical appearance nor have an effect on the way their body operates. There is no great divide between people who are pianists and people who aren't. People who are not bakers are not susceptible to health issues in the future if they continue to not be bakers. When someone who is a linguist walks down the street, people aren't gawking at them going "Wow, looking like that they obviously must be a linguist!". A more apt comparison would be people who choose to take a pill to alter their nose, breasts, or some other physical aspects of themselves except, even in that case, people don't have control over their nose size/shape or the size of their breasts without surgery. They cannot put in a physical effort to change those things, either.0 -
BillMcKay1 wrote: »MissusMoon wrote: »BillMcKay1 wrote: »MissusMoon wrote: »perkymommy wrote: »I will never agree with people who say they are fat and happy. It's not possible. They just want to be that way and settle because they don't want to try to do anything to not be fat anymore because it's too hard to lose weight. That may sound harsh but I've been there myself and thought that way myself at times. It's never okay to be fat or obese, health-wise mainly, but not good.
The fact that you failed at being happy while overweight doesn't mean that others will fail too.
Thank you.
I was very happy, confident, felt attractive, ok in my own skin. I worked VERY hard to get there. The problem is I'm 44, was continuing to gain, and I could no longer stave off the impacts on my health and quality of life. The obesity catches up with people. I was also getting physically uncomfortable with the limitation the weight was creating.
I'm not chasing a dress size or some ideal body. My goal weight is a few pounds into the overweight BMI category, but my doctor agrees that with my frame and current muscle base, that's a great place to be as long as I remain active. I'm not caught up in some mythical idealization of thinness.
I'm chasing the notion that there are forms of dance I'll be able to excel in again. I'm chasing the dream of being able to do certain yoga positions without a gut in the way. I'm chasing the opportunity to see my future grandchildren. Huge difference. I know my weight doesn't equal happiness. I have already learned to truly love myself. That is precisely the reason why I am losing this weight.
I think there is also a big difference between being slightly into the overweight bmi category and morbidly obese. Judging by her picture, the author of that article is the former, not the later.
I'm not, nor have I been in the morbidly obese category.
Sorry, I wasn't saying you were. Just more on the feeling by some that you can't be fat and happy and your example of your goal still being in the overweight by BMI category or the author of the piece. I think it is very possible to be overweight and happy, but that happiness is most likely going to fade as a person moves from a bit overweight to obese to morbidly obese. When your health deteriorates, and you start to get aches and pains from the excess weight, your quality of life and resulting level of happiness is going to take a hit.
I was at my heaviest ever last fall at 275lbs. I started to experience all those things and my happiness level certainly started taking a hit. At 245lbs I still am well in the overweight category but I feel better, move better and my happiness has increased significantly, all while still overweight.
Fair enough. I responded the way I did because I thought you missed the context of my response. I won't disagree with you. I was a happy person and obviously I saw that I would be less happy as my health and quality of life diminished. So yeah, I think you and I are on the same page.0 -
It is prejudice to say no one can be happy if they are fat.
Same as any other prejudice.
You can insert any demographic or characteristic and claim the same thing, "you can't be happy because you are rich, poor, short, tall, fat, thin, blue eyed, brown eyed, live in the city, live in the country" pick any identifying trait.
It is simply ridiculous to say, that because you are overweight you can not be happy.7 -
I was in the obese category at my heaviest...didn't change how I felt about myself...neither has the weight loss...
difference is I have more energy now...do more...cook more....and my blood work is great...no more high cholesterol....I still have aches and pains but that's from working out...5 -
snowflake930 wrote: »It is prejudice to say no one can be happy if they are fat.
Same as any other prejudice.
You can insert any demographic or characteristic and claim the same thing, "you can't be happy because you are rich, poor, short, tall, fat, thin, blue eyed, brown eyed, live in the city, live in the country" pick any identifying trait.
It is simply ridiculous to say, that because you are overweight you can not be happy.
I don't quite get why you're putting everything in the same basket, but whatever... Got to ask though - can someone who's really poor be REALLY happy? I mean, I suppose they'd be constantly worrying about their bills or being able to put food on the table. I can't imagine that someone with blue eyes would be worried about anything like that (nor can I imagine that an obese person isn't worrying about potential health issues showing up later because of their weight). So it's kinda apples and oranges.
Or maybe we just don't have the same definition of 'happy'. I don't know if I could be really happy, personally, knowing that I'm in a situation that could put me at risk of starving and/or getting really sick. Or again, I suppose that people in denial wouldn't worry about that... so maybe they could be happy.
Also, because I like arguing (clearly) - she doesn't seem 'borderline overweight' on the pictures to me. She looks like I did when I was obese. So I guess she's EXTREMELY in denial if she thinks that she only put on 10 pounds... which would probably explain her happiness.
Denial is a powerful thing.3 -
Got to ask though - can someone who's really poor be REALLY happy? I mean, I suppose they'd be constantly worrying about their bills or being able to put food on the table.
Coming from someone who is exactly in this situation, yes, I'm very happy. Yes, I stress about the bills and food but it doesn't mean I'm not happy.
11 -
SassyMommasaurus wrote: »Got to ask though - can someone who's really poor be REALLY happy? I mean, I suppose they'd be constantly worrying about their bills or being able to put food on the table.
Coming from someone who is exactly in this situation, yes, I'm very happy. Yes, I stress about the bills and food but it doesn't mean I'm not happy.
Exactly!
Everyone has something to worry about, it does not mean they can not be happy.
Saying someone couldn't be happy because of how they look is ludicrous. You can not possibly know they are not happy by looking at someone.
And it doesn't matter how much she weighs, she says she is happy, why can't you believe her?
It kind of looks like some others are projecting their feelings and insecurities onto this woman who is proclaiming to be happier being overweight.
3 -
snowflake930 wrote: »It is prejudice to say no one can be happy if they are fat.
Same as any other prejudice.
You can insert any demographic or characteristic and claim the same thing, "you can't be happy because you are rich, poor, short, tall, fat, thin, blue eyed, brown eyed, live in the city, live in the country" pick any identifying trait.
It is simply ridiculous to say, that because you are overweight you can not be happy.
I don't quite get why you're putting everything in the same basket, but whatever... Got to ask though - can someone who's really poor be REALLY happy? I mean, I suppose they'd be constantly worrying about their bills or being able to put food on the table. I can't imagine that someone with blue eyes would be worried about anything like that (nor can I imagine that an obese person isn't worrying about potential health issues showing up later because of their weight). So it's kinda apples and oranges.
Or maybe we just don't have the same definition of 'happy'. I don't know if I could be really happy, personally, knowing that I'm in a situation that could put me at risk of starving and/or getting really sick. Or again, I suppose that people in denial wouldn't worry about that... so maybe they could be happy.
Also, because I like arguing (clearly) - she doesn't seem 'borderline overweight' on the pictures to me. She looks like I did when I was obese. So I guess she's EXTREMELY in denial if she thinks that she only put on 10 pounds... which would probably explain her happiness.
Denial is a powerful thing.
We are all so different and I don't find it difficult to imagine that a very poor person could also be happy.
This conversation reminds me of when I was in college. I went to a university that was big on pharmacy and engineering. I was in the business college, which was looked down on by many of the pharmacy and engineering majors. One engineering major said to me "why would anybody ever major in accounting? Who would want to be anything other than an engineer?" And this person was dead serious. As in, everybody everywhere all around the world should want to be in engineering. Absolutely no consideration of the idea that we are all different, with different goals and priorities and likes and dislikes and personalities.4 -
snowflake930 wrote: »It is prejudice to say no one can be happy if they are fat.
Same as any other prejudice.
You can insert any demographic or characteristic and claim the same thing, "you can't be happy because you are rich, poor, short, tall, fat, thin, blue eyed, brown eyed, live in the city, live in the country" pick any identifying trait.
It is simply ridiculous to say, that because you are overweight you can not be happy.
I don't quite get why you're putting everything in the same basket, but whatever... Got to ask though - can someone who's really poor be REALLY happy? I mean, I suppose they'd be constantly worrying about their bills or being able to put food on the table. I can't imagine that someone with blue eyes would be worried about anything like that (nor can I imagine that an obese person isn't worrying about potential health issues showing up later because of their weight). So it's kinda apples and oranges.
Or maybe we just don't have the same definition of 'happy'. I don't know if I could be really happy, personally, knowing that I'm in a situation that could put me at risk of starving and/or getting really sick. Or again, I suppose that people in denial wouldn't worry about that... so maybe they could be happy.
Also, because I like arguing (clearly) - she doesn't seem 'borderline overweight' on the pictures to me. She looks like I did when I was obese. So I guess she's EXTREMELY in denial if she thinks that she only put on 10 pounds... which would probably explain her happiness.
Denial is a powerful thing.
You might not be happy and satisfied with things like lack of money and bills piling up but you can have plenty of other good things in your life to keep you happy. If those other things are good enough for yourself and there's enough of those good things for you, would you think you are happy for those things and when you are doing those things you love and enjoy? Happiness is a feeling, not a permanent state, and it lasts as long as you feel good about the things you love and enjoy even if you don't have them right that moment. Memories can make you happy and even tho you might not be where those memories happened right now you still can feel warmth from them. Dreams can make you happy even when they aren't easily achievable or available right now for different reasons.
We certainly don't have same definition of happy but everyone has something that makes them happy and the real gift comes from embracing those good things and not giving too much power for the negative stuff.0 -
snowflake930 wrote: »It is prejudice to say no one can be happy if they are fat.
Same as any other prejudice.
You can insert any demographic or characteristic and claim the same thing, "you can't be happy because you are rich, poor, short, tall, fat, thin, blue eyed, brown eyed, live in the city, live in the country" pick any identifying trait.
It is simply ridiculous to say, that because you are overweight you can not be happy.
I don't quite get why you're putting everything in the same basket, but whatever... Got to ask though - can someone who's really poor be REALLY happy? I mean, I suppose they'd be constantly worrying about their bills or being able to put food on the table. I can't imagine that someone with blue eyes would be worried about anything like that (nor can I imagine that an obese person isn't worrying about potential health issues showing up later because of their weight). So it's kinda apples and oranges.
Or maybe we just don't have the same definition of 'happy'. I don't know if I could be really happy, personally, knowing that I'm in a situation that could put me at risk of starving and/or getting really sick. Or again, I suppose that people in denial wouldn't worry about that... so maybe they could be happy.
Also, because I like arguing (clearly) - she doesn't seem 'borderline overweight' on the pictures to me. She looks like I did when I was obese. So I guess she's EXTREMELY in denial if she thinks that she only put on 10 pounds... which would probably explain her happiness.
Denial is a powerful thing.
Yes very poor people can be exceptionally happy.
why couldn't they be...if they have what makes them happy in their life...perhaps all that person needs is a roof over their head and enough food to eat so they don't starve..
3 -
Ok so we don't have the same definition of happy! Very interesting either way to get other points of view.0
-
Ok so we don't have the same definition of happy! Very interesting either way to get other points of view.
I think what makes us happy is defined by a lot of different things.
I would be very happy in the middle of the woods with a good book(s) and my husband and enough food to eat and that's all I need...but I am happy with what we have now too.
I was happy fat, I was happy single, I am happy married, I am happy not fat...I was happy being a single mom without a tonne of money...I am happy with a significant increase to household income...maybe I am just a happy person.3 -
MissusMoon wrote: »I'm chasing the dream of being able to do certain yoga positions without a gut in the way.
OMG! This!!!! The idea of being smothered by my own stomach fat during plow was truly terrifying!
1 -
The fact of the matter is that, no matter your size, being what most consider "fit" is not an easy task. It takes hard work, dedication, and patience. Most people are not willing to put in the effort that it takes to achieve or maintain that level of fitness. It's so much easier to come home and relax or wake up and unwind before work than it is to get into a habit of exercising. It's much easier to just eat what you want without regard to calories or hunger level than it is to consider whether or not you really need to eat at that moment.
I am what many people would consider to be fit but I work hard for that. Working hard does not include starving myself, but it does include keeping an eye on my intake, which is 2000+ as stated above, it takes working out every morning for 30 to 60 minutes, it takes walking several miles per day and being generally active. Even then, I still don't consider myself fit, just a bit above average although people tell me otherwise. The point is that many people want the fitness model body without wanting to put in the work that it takes to get there. Society as a whole wants instant gratification.
I understand what you're trying to say, but I think you're falling into the oversimplifying trap I was mentioning. You're relating people's heaviness with laziness and gluttony, and ignoring all of the social, educational, mental and other barriers there are to losing weight and as contributors to weight gain in the first place. I think saying people are "not willing" and just want to take the "easy route" for instant gratification is doing a disservice to complex human beings and lumping a very large group of people (no pun intended) into one category. There's very little that's easy when living as an obese person.
(referring to another one of your posts) I also think saying fat phobia does not affect you is akin to saying "I'm not racist". I'm not saying it does affect you, but I think it's one of those things that can be inherent in different levels based on the way society has molded us, whether or not we're conscious of it, and is difficult to recognize in yourself. Fat phobia affects me. It does, even though I try to keep it in check. I recognize it's there. If I'm completely honest with myself, I would say that I do find thinner people more aesthetically pleasing. I have found myself in my past acting differently to someone after they had lost a lot of weight. I wish that wasn't the case, especially since I'm obese myself. It's really hard to step outside of ourselves sometimes.
1
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 391.7K Introduce Yourself
- 43.5K Getting Started
- 259.7K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.6K Food and Nutrition
- 47.3K Recipes
- 232.3K Fitness and Exercise
- 395 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.7K Motivation and Support
- 7.8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.3K MyFitnessPal Information
- 23 News and Announcements
- 959 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.3K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions