'I'm fat and happy' article. Thoughts?
Francl27
Posts: 26,371 Member
http://www.scarymommy.com/im-fat-and-happy/?utm_source=FB
Found this this morning. Ok I never got as thin as her and never ate 1000 calories a day but man does she nail the 'it's hard to be thin' part on the head!
Obviously not arguing with the fact that it's ok to be obese though... she's a mom. She needs to be healthy for them. I don't believe that you can be obese and stay healthy.
Anyway, curious about what people think about it.
Found this this morning. Ok I never got as thin as her and never ate 1000 calories a day but man does she nail the 'it's hard to be thin' part on the head!
Obviously not arguing with the fact that it's ok to be obese though... she's a mom. She needs to be healthy for them. I don't believe that you can be obese and stay healthy.
Anyway, curious about what people think about it.
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Replies
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I stopped reading anything from that page after their article about a mom who was "grieving" because her child was born in a hospital instead of at home. (Yes is was as ridiculous as it sounds).16
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I found the article to be the proverbial Curate's Egg - only good in parts.
It may be the writer's reality but there is a false dichotomy going on which doesn't apply to many people - thin and miserable or fat and happy. Being in good shape does not require extreme sacrifice or misery but rather consistency and building solid habits. If you want to maintain cover model physique year round the situation may be different but that is not most people.
And this bit.
This bit wants me to hit my head against the nearest wall:I’m the one who looks like the mother.21 -
Oh yeah, I read that some time ago. I love it. Its a whole world I wish I could belong to.
I looked like that throughout my 30's and 40's, (the thin version of her) without dieting and just doing normal walking and errands, looking after my kids and getting to work by bus. Where she had to suffer, undereat and obsess on caloiries, for me it was genetic and natural.
IMO if you start restricitng calories and over excersizing when you are young, you pay for it later in life.
I'm glad she is happy and has such a lovely family. Who could be negative about such a person as her?4 -
It's a good article. It was more about being happy with yourself than being thin or fat. The author had disordered eating patterns, and a mental disorder also, that she got help for.6
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I'm not sure why people develop a false sense of concern about the obese.
Why do you feel she can't be healthy and why do you think this is your concern?
Do you tell people that don't get enough sleep to go to bed?22 -
Really, that article is less about weight and more about finding contentment within yourself regardless of how you're physically packaged. Something we should all aspire to.
I've been content with my physical appearance when fat and am still now that I'm less fat. I hope to be content when I get to goal too.
So yeah, this about finding inner peace and not being reliant on external factors. It could easily apply to jobs, partners, money etc. It just so happens her measure is her weight.21 -
Franci, this is a topic that intrests many people these days.
Good you posted it imo.
I like it that she talked about her eating disorder and how she found peace with that and it seems, much more in her life.2 -
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I agree with her on this point: Happiness does not require thinness. Fatness does not presume sadness.
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VintageFeline wrote: »Really, that article is less about weight and more about finding contentment within yourself regardless of how you're physically packaged. Something we should all aspire to.
I've been content with my physical appearance when fat and am still now that I'm less fat. I hope to be content when I get to goal too.
So yeah, this about finding inner peace and not being reliant on external factors. It could easily apply to jobs, partners, money etc. It just so happens her measure is her weight.
If you are content with your physical appearance what drives to try and lose weight?
(Genuine question, not trying to be snarky)3 -
EvgeniZyntx wrote: »I'm not sure why people develop a false sense of concern about the obese.
Why do you feel she can't be healthy and why do you think this is your concern?
Do you tell people that don't get enough sleep to go to bed?
Actually yeah... if people don't sleep enough I tell them to get more sleep!
I have no concern about the obese. It's their life. I just dislike it when they claim that you can be obese and healthy.8 -
I like the message that one can be happy without conforming to society's standards. I also like the message that being thin doesn't equate to being happy or healthy. I wish she would have at least mentioned that her experience of getting and staying thin is not necessarily the typical experience. I wish she would have rethought saying, "You want to really blow people’s minds? Try this at home: Be fat and happy." I know she isn't advocating being fat just to get a reaction out of people, but the phrasing still just doesn't sit very well with me.1
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VintageFeline wrote: »Really, that article is less about weight and more about finding contentment within yourself regardless of how you're physically packaged. Something we should all aspire to.
I've been content with my physical appearance when fat and am still now that I'm less fat. I hope to be content when I get to goal too.
So yeah, this about finding inner peace and not being reliant on external factors. It could easily apply to jobs, partners, money etc. It just so happens her measure is her weight.
If you are content with your physical appearance what drives to try and lose weight?
(Genuine question, not trying to be snarky)
I'm not answering for VintageFeline, but in my case I'm driven by health. I'm never going to be fit, but I'd rather not have diabetes.6 -
VintageFeline wrote: »Really, that article is less about weight and more about finding contentment within yourself regardless of how you're physically packaged. Something we should all aspire to.
I've been content with my physical appearance when fat and am still now that I'm less fat. I hope to be content when I get to goal too.
So yeah, this about finding inner peace and not being reliant on external factors. It could easily apply to jobs, partners, money etc. It just so happens her measure is her weight.
If you are content with your physical appearance what drives to try and lose weight?
(Genuine question, not trying to be snarky)
Health problems is the number one motivator in my case. Happiness or lack thereof have very little to do with my quest for a lower number on the scale. It also helps that I'm finally able to buy clothes in 'normal' clothing stores. I don't have to drive 1 hour to get to a store that stocks plus sizes...
What disturbed me about the article (didn't finish reading tbh) is how she seemed to equate lower weight with unhappiness and OCD behaviors, to an extent that it sounds like a generalization. As if EVERYONE striving to be a lower weight is like that. (I am aware that it's a reference to herself and her life, but still it leaves a somewhat bitter aftertaste in my mouth.)
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VintageFeline wrote: »Really, that article is less about weight and more about finding contentment within yourself regardless of how you're physically packaged. Something we should all aspire to.
I've been content with my physical appearance when fat and am still now that I'm less fat. I hope to be content when I get to goal too.
So yeah, this about finding inner peace and not being reliant on external factors. It could easily apply to jobs, partners, money etc. It just so happens her measure is her weight.
If you are content with your physical appearance what drives to try and lose weight?
(Genuine question, not trying to be snarky)
Health issues! I couldn't even bend over without losing my breath (and that's why I don't believe that obese people can be healthy. It's a science thing. Too much fat pressing on your organs = NOT healthy). But for me appearance was a big reason too.3 -
VintageFeline wrote: »Really, that article is less about weight and more about finding contentment within yourself regardless of how you're physically packaged. Something we should all aspire to.
I've been content with my physical appearance when fat and am still now that I'm less fat. I hope to be content when I get to goal too.
So yeah, this about finding inner peace and not being reliant on external factors. It could easily apply to jobs, partners, money etc. It just so happens her measure is her weight.
If you are content with your physical appearance what drives to try and lose weight?
(Genuine question, not trying to be snarky)
To begin with it was for my health, my weight was starting to impact my physical health. Getting to a healthy BMI wasn't even on my radar at that time, getting off mental illness related weight gain was my only aim. As time has gone on I have rediscovered my love of fitness, of physically pushing myself and the byproduct is also an improvement in my mental stability (I have bipolar type 2 amongst other things). And I guess a desire for my efforts to show physically too. It's just generally fun now for me I guess to see how far I can take this thing. And a sprinkling of vanity too, I buy and wear vintage, there is a larger selection at 28" waist and below. Being able to fit into all the pretty things without any alterations is pretty motivating to this collector!7 -
That was a great article, and I don't fault her for being happier in her curvier self.
But for me, I would be miserable if I was fat, I WAS miserable when I was fat. I'm now slim, happy and healthy/fit. It doesn't feel hard to maintain my goal weight, been doing that for 3 years.
The main thing is that we are happy, whatever size we are.5 -
I was obese. I was very healthy. All my blood work numbers were excellent. I exercised regularly, both intensely and lightly. I ate (mostly) healthy foods. I probably had more risk of developing type 2 diabetes than a similarly exercising bmi peer of 22-24. But maybe I had less risk than a non-exercising peer with a bmi of 22-24
Her experience was that in order to be thin, she only slept 3 or 4 hours a night. You need sleep.to be healthy. Perhaps she is healthier overweight and sleeping well and happy than slim and not sleeping well.
She is untying her weight from her self-esteem. And she is finding a weight that she can happily sustain. This is a good thing. Loving outselves as we are is important.
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VintageFeline wrote: »Really, that article is less about weight and more about finding contentment within yourself regardless of how you're physically packaged. Something we should all aspire to.
I've been content with my physical appearance when fat and am still now that I'm less fat. I hope to be content when I get to goal too.
So yeah, this about finding inner peace and not being reliant on external factors. It could easily apply to jobs, partners, money etc. It just so happens her measure is her weight.
If you are content with your physical appearance what drives to try and lose weight?
(Genuine question, not trying to be snarky)
I'll answer as well. I have high blood sugar but it's not high enough for diabetes so I still have a chance to beat it. I'm also studying for a career where it is also required to carry a lot of heavy stuff, be able to work with machines (some of them require hell a lot of strength to be closed or opened) and climb really high places to fix stuff. It just happens to be a lot easier if I don't have that 120 lbs extra weight on me. A lot of things like that are going to be easier when I'm not overweight anymore. I'm strong the way I am now and far stronger than I look but right now I can't really convince anyone at job interviews unless I lift the interviewer from ground for it
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http://www.scarymommy.com/im-fat-and-happy/?utm_source=FB
Found this this morning. Ok I never got as thin as her and never ate 1000 calories a day but man does she nail the 'it's hard to be thin' part on the head!
Obviously not arguing with the fact that it's ok to be obese though... she's a mom. She needs to be healthy for them. I don't believe that you can be obese and stay healthy.
Anyway, curious about what people think about it.
She is a GREAT example of what NOT TO DO if you want to lose weight and get fit. She plummeted her body into the ground and then started digging further and further down. Perfect example of how important it is to properly educate yourself on nutrition and fitness. Especially as females, you can really mess up your hormones ,she even comments to the fact that she lost her period... just horrible.
Edited out the double comment9 -
VintageFeline wrote: »Really, that article is less about weight and more about finding contentment within yourself regardless of how you're physically packaged. Something we should all aspire to.
I've been content with my physical appearance when fat and am still now that I'm less fat. I hope to be content when I get to goal too.
So yeah, this about finding inner peace and not being reliant on external factors. It could easily apply to jobs, partners, money etc. It just so happens her measure is her weight.
If you are content with your physical appearance what drives to try and lose weight?
(Genuine question, not trying to be snarky)
I like VintageFeline was very happy even at my heaviest..newly wed to a wonderful man...great job, son was doing amazing and growing into a good man...what more could I want...I was happy as a pig in *kitten*...
health is what drove me...cholesterol was up, pain in my joints...tired a lot...just from carrying the extra weight around and not moving and exercising...
I wanted to be around for this happy marriage I found, to see my son marry etc...
I actually found I lost weight easier now that I am happy...and possibly because I am doing it for the right reason's this time..
So yes you can be fat and happy...
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http://www.scarymommy.com/im-fat-and-happy/?utm_source=FB
Found this this morning. Ok I never got as thin as her and never ate 1000 calories a day but man does she nail the 'it's hard to be thin' part on the head!
She doesn't indicate her height as far as I can see, but presuming she's about my height ...
I have been as thin as she was ... and I am currently as thin as she was ... weight-wise, that is. I think my hip bones might be wider so I'm not sure I could fit a size 4, although who knows with sizing these days.
And it is not "hard to be thin".
She says,
"I attained by eating a “plentiful” 1,000 calories a day; by running 35 miles a week (10 on Sunday); by sleeping an average of three hours a day; by counting every bit of food I ate, down to a single cherry tomato; by writing and tracking my weight every day for a year; by running the stairs of the hospital during my 12-hour shifts; by losing my period; by denying myself food when I was hungry; by denying myself sleep."
Hmm.
Well ... I've spent most of my life at her "thin" weight and never went through all that.
-- I eat anywhere from about 1500-2000 calories a day.
-- I cycle lots, but I love cycling and have been cycling since I was 6 years old. Life wouldn't be worth living without cycling.
-- I counted calories carefully for a total of 32 weeks over the past 1.5 years, but I'm a numbers/data person and like counting calories. The rest of the time over the past 1.5 years I've sort of half-heartedly counted, on and off. And when I was this thin in my 20s, 30s and early 40s, the main reason I counted calories, on the odd occasions I did, was to make sure I was eating enough.
-- I currently walk stairs, but I like doing that too ... gives me a break from sitting all day.
-- I would love to lose my period. Can't seem to manage to do that.
-- I don't deny myself food ...hey, I just had an evening snack of nutella and leatherwood honey on toast just now and I might have another piece later on.
-- And the only times I deny myself sleep is when I've got a major assignment due or final exam coming up in my grad course.
I was happy enough when I was heavier for the few years prior to signing up here too ... except for one thing. I couldn't do the cycling I like to do. Now that I've lost the weight and I'm back to normal, I can.
To each her own.
But one statement she makes in that article makes me wonder just how happy she is:
"Most of my clothes don’t fit, and that is discouraging."
Hmm.
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VintageFeline wrote: »Really, that article is less about weight and more about finding contentment within yourself regardless of how you're physically packaged. Something we should all aspire to.
I've been content with my physical appearance when fat and am still now that I'm less fat. I hope to be content when I get to goal too.
So yeah, this about finding inner peace and not being reliant on external factors. It could easily apply to jobs, partners, money etc. It just so happens her measure is her weight.
If you are content with your physical appearance what drives to try and lose weight?
(Genuine question, not trying to be snarky)
Health here too.
Physical appearance was a minimal concern of mine when I started losing weight. My concern was much more with my sleep apnea and the fact that I saw myself wandering down the same road to diabetes that so many of my relatives have gone down and has ended in serious medical complications, including kidney failure, amputation, and death.
Now? I'm happy with my overall health and, yes, physical appearance is a greater interest for me.1 -
It seems to me that the article is less on her weight and more on her overall sense of being. No, being thin does not equal happiness and being fat does not equal sadness. Nor is the opposite true.
She didn't get thin in a healthy way either. It sounds like she starved/over exercised herself into it, no wonder she wasn't happy! There is an in between. Doing that bad stuff is just as bad for your health as being obese (actually medically obese, not just a little heavier than you'd like). She also sounds like she had some other issues (bi-polar is mentioned) and her weight was a reflection of that. A better article title would have been "Mentally healthy and happy"
What really stood out to me is that she says she's happy and yet she can't stop putting other down. "I'm the one who looks like a mom." Really, meaning what? Thin mother are unfit moms? You can't be thin and a mom? The entire last paragraph boils down to, if you're thin (or want to be thin) you're a horrible person for buying into what 'the world' expects of you.
So overall, I'm glad she got help and now feels at peace in her body and mind, but she could lose her attitude toward people who want to be thin because, shocker, she doesn't know their lives just as they shouldn't judge her for her weight since they don't know her life.6 -
I was obese. I was very healthy. All my blood work numbers were excellent. I exercised regularly, both intensely and lightly. I ate (mostly) healthy foods. I probably had more risk of developing type 2 diabetes than a similarly exercising bmi peer of 22-24. But maybe I had less risk than a non-exercising peer with a bmi of 22-24
Her experience was that in order to be thin, she only slept 3 or 4 hours a night. You need sleep.to be healthy. Perhaps she is healthier overweight and sleeping well and happy than slim and not sleeping well.
She is untying her weight from her self-esteem. And she is finding a weight that she can happily sustain. This is a good thing. Loving outselves as we are is important.
Working in the medical field, this is one argument I hear a lot that I can't get behind. I am a doctor of pharmacy and not medicine, but I do a lot of diabetes, hypertension, etc education and see so many people with preventable chronic conditions on a daily basis. I have to know a lot about the conditions being treated in order to understand the medications used to treat them.
I was morbidly obese- still obese and losing. I am also genetically lucky. I had perfect everything- blood pressure, lab results, you name it, but I was not healthy. The health conditions were inevitable, and many things are invisible until they manifest in horrible ways. The development of type II diabetes, for example, is silent until the damage is done. By the time someone's blood sugars reflect that they have diabetes, their pancreas has been working in overdrive for a long time to try and compensate for the insulin resistance that has also been developing for a long time. Many people are never diagnosed until they start showing symptoms, when it has probably been out of hand for a long time. I'm just using diabetes as an example since it was mentioned.
There are some incredibly genetically lucky people out there, but for most health issues are an inevitability, and they will catch up to you.
ALL THAT BEING SAID.... I am so over the faux "concern" so many people have, using it as an excuse to shame heavier people and treat them like they're disgusting or are somehow less than human. It's astonishing to me how many people say horrible things under the veil of "concern".
I am all about loving yourself, and quite frankly, I don't care about other peoples' choices or the fact that they're large. Heck, I'm large. Someone's health conditions are their own business completely unless I'm working and a patient is asking me questions or wants more information about something. I try my best to provide answers and information with kindness and without judgement.
I feel like fat-shaming is one of the last acceptable forms of prejudice in our society today (body-shaming in general really, but especially fat-shaming). I'm happy to see people speaking out about it. It's possible to be fat and healthy... but not forever, unless you have amazing genes. The risk of SO MANY, SO MANY medical conditions drastically increases with increased weight. That's the one part I think kind of discredits a lot of these arguments and gives fat-shamers more fuel. I think loving yourself, being happy and deserving to be treated like a human being is completely different from saying fat is healthy- not that one's health is anyone's business.15 -
smotheredincheese wrote: »I agree with her on this point: Happiness does not require thinness. Fatness does not presume sadness.
Things are changing for me, I am managing to keep my weight stable no matter how happy or sad I am, but for most of my life you didn't really have to ask me "How've you been?". You could see the answer before asking. If I'd been feeling overwhelmed, my weight was up. If I'd been happy and in control, my weight was down. I have to remind myself that everyone else isn't me, but thin=happy and fat=sad are my automatic thoughts.
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I think the article is misrepresented. It is not the comparison of fat to thin, it is a comparison between being overweight and having an eating disorder. I guess if those were my only two options I'd choose overweight too...but it's unfortunate that she doesn't seem to understand that there is a way to get healthy without killing herself.6
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I don't like the connotation that you can't be happy if you're thin.
I know people will argue that's not what she's saying, but it's certainly implied.5 -
I honestly do not know how to respond to the article, but I would say I do not fault the writer for finally accepting her slightly curvier self (if she really has as there was a clear undertone of having to explain herself: "Most of my clothes don't fit, and that is discouraging"). Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes and a little self love is always great....that said the highlights of her personal internal disorder and implications of crash dieting over and over...rather than healthy sustainable calorie counts and an active lifestyle to promote a GOOD MOOD and HEALTH: It's no wonder she wasn't happy. I personally was happy with my curvier figure: joint pain, high cholesterol, and not being able to keep up with my kids..that's what made me decide to lose a "few lbs" (-49 today)....what I have gained is so much more important than the pounds I've lost: Confidence in myself, Pride in my accomplishments, and Awe that my body is capable of so much more than I ever thought was possible. I enjoy exercise. I love the way my body feels when it's fueled with good food. I love the sense of community that happens when you are surrounded by passionate, driven people like here on MFP. If anything, I'm happier..not because I'm thin, but because I have found a new family/support system that I never had before.3
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And this bit.
This bit wants me to hit my head against the nearest wall:I’m the one who looks like the mother.
Yes ... as it happens my mother was slender and fit and active right up until she hit about 70. She's still somewhat active, but has put on a little bit of weight.
Same with my grandmother. She was practically sprinting down the road after a hip operation in her early 80s while telling me how it had slowed her down.
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