Do men secretly want a more traditional housewife?

tennileb
tennileb Posts: 265 Member
So here's my question: in this modern society do men secretly (or sub subconsciously) want a 1950's doting housewife?

I'm not meaning dressing up like a 50's house wife, but more in spirit : making the man the #1 priority, centring your day around his comings and goings, hot meal on the table, house clean, wife all prettied up...

If guys do like that is it just a novelty and they get bored with it or is it something deep down they want but dare not say so?
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Replies

  • Achrya
    Achrya Posts: 16,913 Member
    So here's my question: in this modern society do men secretly (or sub subconsciously) want a 1950's doting housewife?

    I'm not meaning dressing up like a 50's house wife, but more in spirit : making the man the #1 priority, centring your day around his comings and goings, hot meal on the table, house clean, wife all prettied up...

    If guys do like that is it just a novelty and they get bored with it or is it something deep down they want but dare not say so?

    Men aren't a monolith; they don't all want one thing or another in a woman (Heck, some of them don't want women.)

    So yeah, some do and some don't, just like with anything else.
  • AJ_G
    AJ_G Posts: 4,158 Member
    It completely depends on the guy. For instance, I want a wife who has a job of her own, and I'd like to cook as much as she does, etc, but I'm sure there are plenty of guys who want to be the only one who works and never cook etc.
  • emlott88
    emlott88 Posts: 75 Member
    Interesting topic!

    I was a full time, successful accountant in Australia until I moved to the USA to be with my husband. We're now in Germany as we got orders with the USAF.

    I miss my job like CRAZY! I miss the independence, and I miss having purpose. It's part of the reason why I hope to get obsessed with the weight loss journey.

    He, however, admits that he loves that I am at home 'doting' on him so to speak. He loves that dinner is cooked every night. He loves that he doesn't have to lift a finger in the house, and he loves that he provides for me. (And, even with an accounting job, I have to say, I want for so much less now than I did then!)

    Do I want this forever? No way. But it's a compromise for now. Plus, I make him do all the man jobs. So there is a definite gender separation in this house, even though I have 2 college degrees and a profession haha.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,984 Member
    Nope. I'm daddy househusband and take care of everything at home. Oh and I never have a headache.:laugh:

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • Madame_Goldbricker
    Madame_Goldbricker Posts: 1,625 Member
    The Good Wives Guide circa 1950!

    Have dinner ready.
    Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.
    Prepare yourself.
    Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
    Clear away clutter.
    Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Gather up schoolbooks, toys, papers, etc. and then run a dustcloth over the tables.
    Over the winter months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
    Prepare the children.
    Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces, comb their hair, and if necessary change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.
    Minimise all noise.
    At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.
    Be happy to see him.
    Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
    Listen to him.
    You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the right time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
    Make the evening his.
    Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, and his real need to be at home and relax.
    Your goal.
    Try to make sure that your home is a place of peace and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.
    Don't greet him with complaints and problems.
    Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone throught that day.
    Make him comfortable.
    Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or a warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
    Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity. Remember, he is master of the house and as such, will always excercise his will with fairness and truthfulness.
    You have no right to question him.
    A good wife knows her place
  • mustang289
    mustang289 Posts: 299 Member
    Yeah, but its supposed to be a secret so stop bringing it up, okay?

    Lots and Lots of different lifestyles out there right now.

    One portion of that is women who expect their husband or 'significant other' to maintain his traditional male role of providing and doing the manly chores, yet she expects to be able to do whatever she wants. I think its a small portion of society, but I have seen it out there. I think its all fostered by the idea of the 'perfect wedding' or the 'fantasy wedding'. It starts the whole marriage off on a path that is difficult to recover from.

    I'm fortunate that my wife of 28 years and I have a fairly modern relationship. We both work, we both pay bills, we both do stuff around the house.
  • The_Enginerd
    The_Enginerd Posts: 3,982 Member
    Depends on the guy. Myself and among most of my friends, nope, prefer a woman who has a job and is independent.
  • blah2989
    blah2989 Posts: 338 Member
    I really wanted a career or even a part time job. My fiance has different ideas. He doesnt expect the house to be 100% perfect, nor does he expect me to ger up at 4am and put breakfast on the table for him, but he is more traditional. He wants to be a "sole provider"- as michael bolten puts it lol. He doesnt want me to have to work but has no problem with me getting a job although, he does want me to stay at home while the kids are little. Ive been a stay at home mom since march 28th. Its driving me nuts! Ive worked since I was 12. But Ive had boyfriends that wanted to split the work, and knew a few guys that prefered doing house work and do small side jobs while the woman brought home the majority of the money. Everyone has their own ideas/wants / needs as far as who does what in a relationship. But my guy in particular, is more traditional.
  • aquarabbit
    aquarabbit Posts: 1,622 Member
    So here's my question: in this modern society do men secretly (or sub subconsciously) want a 1950's doting housewife?

    I'm not meaning dressing up like a 50's house wife, but more in spirit : making the man the #1 priority, centring your day around his comings and goings, hot meal on the table, house clean, wife all prettied up...

    If guys do like that is it just a novelty and they get bored with it or is it something deep down they want but dare not say so?

    Men aren't a monolith; they don't all want one thing or another in a woman (Heck, some of them don't want women.)

    So yeah, some do and some don't, just like with anything else.

    Completely agree!
  • tennileb
    tennileb Posts: 265 Member
    I've lived both sides, I've been the bread winner and now I'm a pretty traditional (but still employed part time) wife.
  • born2drum
    born2drum Posts: 731 Member
    I wish. Although, most girls nowadays are pretty damn lazy. At least the ones I've dated my. Most girls want everything nowadays but then again, I live in Los Angeles so maybe a southern girl is in order :p
  • hedgiie
    hedgiie Posts: 1,226 Member
    Nope. I'm daddy househusband and take care of everything at home. Oh and I never have a headache.:laugh:

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
    this
  • LiftAllThePizzas
    LiftAllThePizzas Posts: 17,857 Member
    So here's my question: in this modern society do men secretly (or sub subconsciously) want a 1950's doting housewife?

    I'm not meaning dressing up like a 50's house wife, but more in spirit : making the man the #1 priority, centring your day around his comings and goings, hot meal on the table, house clean, wife all prettied up...

    If guys do like that is it just a novelty and they get bored with it or is it something deep down they want but dare not say so?
    LOL
  • Mario_Az
    Mario_Az Posts: 1,331 Member
    depends on the man how he was raised and culture
  • SrJoben
    SrJoben Posts: 484 Member
    I'll ask everyone at the next Man meeting and let you know.
  • TheRealParisLove
    TheRealParisLove Posts: 1,907 Member
    So here's my question: in this modern society do men secretly (or sub subconsciously) want a 1950's doting housewife?

    I'm not meaning dressing up like a 50's house wife, but more in spirit : making the man the #1 priority, centring your day around his comings and goings, hot meal on the table, house clean, wife all prettied up...

    If guys do like that is it just a novelty and they get bored with it or is it something deep down they want but dare not say so?

    Hell, I want a doting housewife. So, probably.
  • PlayerHatinDogooder
    PlayerHatinDogooder Posts: 1,018 Member
    No.

    I want my woman to have a full time job, come home, cook, clean, take care of the kids, satisfy me sexually, and then let me go and hang out with my friends all day.
  • nolachick
    nolachick Posts: 3,278 Member
    It completely depends on the guy. For instance, I want a wife who has a job of her own, and I'd like to cook as much as she does, etc,

    :smooched:
  • fishnbrah
    fishnbrah Posts: 550
    So here's my question: in this modern society do men secretly (or sub subconsciously) want a 1950's doting housewife?

    I'm not meaning dressing up like a 50's house wife, but more in spirit : making the man the #1 priority, centring your day around his comings and goings, hot meal on the table, house clean, wife all prettied up...

    If guys do like that is it just a novelty and they get bored with it or is it something deep down they want but dare not say so?

    secretly? i thought that was obviously what we wanted.
  • sparkly86
    sparkly86 Posts: 520 Member
    Not married, but i do expect traditional role to some extent. I do want to work, but because I want to, not because i have to. I think men should be the primary providers, but also support in raising a family.
  • Who male or female wouldn't want to come home after a long day at work to a nice meal and a clean and orderly house? I don't see why this has to be either a male or female role these days though.
  • fishnbrah
    fishnbrah Posts: 550
    Who male or female wouldn't want to come home after a long day at work to a nice meal and a clean and orderly house? I don't see why this has to be either a male or female role these days though.

    strong muffin top in avi...
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    I'm a woman, but I don't think so. They like their wives to work and to have their own passions. Maybe when the kids are little, they do like having the wife stay with them (makes things easier).
  • Lobster1987
    Lobster1987 Posts: 492 Member
    The Good Wives Guide circa 1950!

    Have dinner ready.
    Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.
    Prepare yourself.
    Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
    Clear away clutter.
    Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Gather up schoolbooks, toys, papers, etc. and then run a dustcloth over the tables.
    Over the winter months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
    Prepare the children.
    Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces, comb their hair, and if necessary change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.
    Minimise all noise.
    At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.
    Be happy to see him.
    Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
    Listen to him.
    You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the right time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
    Make the evening his.
    Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, and his real need to be at home and relax.
    Your goal.
    Try to make sure that your home is a place of peace and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.
    Don't greet him with complaints and problems.
    Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone throught that day.
    Make him comfortable.
    Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or a warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
    Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity. Remember, he is master of the house and as such, will always excercise his will with fairness and truthfulness.
    You have no right to question him.
    A good wife knows her place


    I would bet money that this article was written by a man.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    The Good Wives Guide circa 1950!

    Have dinner ready.
    Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.
    Prepare yourself.
    Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
    Clear away clutter.
    Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Gather up schoolbooks, toys, papers, etc. and then run a dustcloth over the tables.
    Over the winter months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
    Prepare the children.
    Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces, comb their hair, and if necessary change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.
    Minimise all noise.
    At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.
    Be happy to see him.
    Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
    Listen to him.
    You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the right time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
    Make the evening his.
    Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, and his real need to be at home and relax.
    Your goal.
    Try to make sure that your home is a place of peace and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.
    Don't greet him with complaints and problems.
    Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone throught that day.
    Make him comfortable.
    Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or a warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
    Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity. Remember, he is master of the house and as such, will always excercise his will with fairness and truthfulness.
    You have no right to question him.
    A good wife knows her place


    I would bet money that this article was written by a man.
    Or a "stewardess"...link please?
  • Lobster1987
    Lobster1987 Posts: 492 Member
    I think it would be a lot of fun to dress up like a 1950's housewife and be waiting in the kitchen for him to get home...I wouldn't be dressed up for long and his hot dinner would get cold....bwahaha >:)

    More seriously, I like doing a lot of that stuff- I'm a little suzy homemaker, but I also will work full-time and have outside interests from the home.

    He loves it when I cook for him, but he also does his share of "cooking" when it involves the grill and he helps with cleaning and stuff.

    We both will share responsibilities.. Who knows? Maybe I'll come home to him dressed up as a 1950's house wife...LOL
  • The_Enginerd
    The_Enginerd Posts: 3,982 Member
    The Good Wives Guide circa 1950!

    Have dinner ready.
    Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.
    Prepare yourself.
    Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
    Clear away clutter.
    Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Gather up schoolbooks, toys, papers, etc. and then run a dustcloth over the tables.
    Over the winter months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
    Prepare the children.
    Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces, comb their hair, and if necessary change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.
    Minimise all noise.
    At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.
    Be happy to see him.
    Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
    Listen to him.
    You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the right time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
    Make the evening his.
    Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, and his real need to be at home and relax.
    Your goal.
    Try to make sure that your home is a place of peace and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.
    Don't greet him with complaints and problems.
    Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone throught that day.
    Make him comfortable.
    Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or a warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
    Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity. Remember, he is master of the house and as such, will always excercise his will with fairness and truthfulness.
    You have no right to question him.
    A good wife knows her place


    I would bet money that this article was written by a man.
    Or a "stewardess"...link please?
    It was circulate as an old article, and is purported to be a hoax. Image of the article: http://lilikaofthelake.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/the20good20wifes20guide1.jpg
  • Leahsz
    Leahsz Posts: 81
    [/quote]

    Hell, I want a doting housewife. So, probably.
    [/quote]

    I second this!
  • ihateroses
    ihateroses Posts: 893 Member
    Interesting topic!

    I was a full time, successful accountant in Australia until I moved to the USA to be with my husband. We're now in Germany as we got orders with the USAF.

    I miss my job like CRAZY! I miss the independence, and I miss having purpose. It's part of the reason why I hope to get obsessed with the weight loss journey.

    He, however, admits that he loves that I am at home 'doting' on him so to speak. He loves that dinner is cooked every night. He loves that he doesn't have to lift a finger in the house, and he loves that he provides for me. (And, even with an accounting job, I have to say, I want for so much less now than I did then!)

    Do I want this forever? No way. But it's a compromise for now. Plus, I make him do all the man jobs. So there is a definite gender separation in this house, even though I have 2 college degrees and a profession haha.

    Hey!!! My fiance is in the Air Force and makes it pretty clear that he prefers for me to be a housewife when we get married. I honestly am looking forward to it since it allows me to do more freelance work but I am a bit nervous that I'll miss my career (also college graduate).
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    So here's my question: in this modern society do men secretly (or sub subconsciously) want a 1950's doting housewife?

    I'm not meaning dressing up like a 50's house wife, but more in spirit : making the man the #1 priority, centring your day around his comings and goings, hot meal on the table, house clean, wife all prettied up...

    If guys do like that is it just a novelty and they get bored with it or is it something deep down they want but dare not say so?

    Just wanted to repost the original question because this thread looks to be in danger of derailing (big surprise). And I'm still curious for more answers to OP. Where is that secret hive mind when you need it.