Hurtful comments towards my appearance.
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Oh wow- you look awesome!! They probably just thoughtlessly said that because they were used to seeing your face fuller. Plus, some people feel threatened when others around them succeed.1
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Also, I once had an obnoxious coworker say to me once- that I was 'almost as skinny' as her... A-hole!0
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ive had people say comemnts about my appearence too, my big nose and why dont I get a nose job, Ive got bad teeth from dental malpractice and just generaly not very attractive. but as my boyfriend says, we are not our bodies our bodies are just vehicles for our souls. our best goal is to keep it in the best running condition. I think you look fab btw, the before after photo is amazing you look healthier imho and much younger too in the after.2
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^^^^ "Our bodies are just vehicles for our souls" -- LOVE this!1
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It's THEIR opinion. If you're feeling good about you, then how they feel is THEIR ISSUE, not yours. There will always be disagreement on how people look. Even people who have "perfect" bodies in one's eyes, looks like crap to another. And it's just opinion. Don't take it personal.Krisstastic_ wrote: »
I took this photo July 13th 2016.
Today a couple of co workers told me that I looked Sick and Gaunt.
I had to google what that word meant as i had never heard it before.
They told me that my cheeks were thin and my eyes were sunken in and that i didn't look healthy.
I am 5 foot 3, 139.2 pounds and at my goal weight.
I cried after i was told this.. Losing 113 pounds, i feel very self conscious still about my body, as far as loose skin goes, etc, but i didn't think i looked that bad?
Please be honest, do i look ill?
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I went through the same thing with coworkers when I got down to 139. People told me that I looked sickly. They are jealous!1
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First of all, congratulations on losing 113 pounds! And I agree with others, you look beautiful.
When I lost 70 pounds, landing right in the middle of an average weight for my height, I started getting a lot of similar comments. Because I was still struggling with body image and accepting my new size, I lacked the confidence to reply in an assertive way. I did manage to tell one co-worker that her constant comments about me being too thin hurt my feelings, that it was no different than her saying to someone they were too fat. Another person that told me they were just concerned for my health, and I asked them where their concern was when I was obese. But mostly I just was hurt by the comments and felt so deflated at a time when I should have felt on top of the world. And yes, I did cry on occasion.
One thing that I think would have helped me is to practice a standard response that could be used in situations like that.1 -
Congrats on your loss! That's incredible!
I can see why your coworkers may think that - your face is pale and there's a certain meekness to your posture in the photo. The thing is, the effect exists in the "before" photo as well so I'm inclined to think your coworkers are just being uncouth.0 -
missemmibelle wrote: »Congrats on your loss! That's incredible!
I can see why your coworkers may think that - your face is pale and there's a certain meekness to your posture in the photo. The thing is, the effect exists in the "before" photo as well so I'm inclined to think your coworkers are just being uncouth.
My guess is that its just camera flash wash-out. My foundation has titanium dioxide in it- and camera flashes make me look really pale and washed out (I am pale also as I have light sensitivities)
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This community is amazing I love you all1
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ive had people say comemnts about my appearence too, my big nose and why dont I get a nose job, Ive got bad teeth from dental malpractice and just generaly not very attractive. but as my boyfriend says, we are not our bodies our bodies are just vehicles for our souls. our best goal is to keep it in the best running condition. I think you look fab btw, the before after photo is amazing you look healthier imho and much younger too in the after.
Are you actually dating Prince Ea!!!??!0 -
It's helpful to understand where people are coming from when they comment. If someone is used to you looking a certain way, if your look changes it feels out of place to them. You would look "too thin" compared to the look they are used to. I experienced this myself sometimes with friends and family who lost a lot of weight. If they were obese they look good when overweight, but once they are out of the overweight category into normal they start to look too different. I never comment because I know it's all in my head. Don't take it to heart. Have you ever known a man with a moustache or beard who then shaved it? How did you feel about their look? How did you feel after you got used to it? Keep that in mind when you hear such comments. It's human nature to want things to look familiar.
Give it time. They will get used to your new look.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7AqoOnrbpE
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That might be the cutest selfie I've ever seen! Congrats on the weight loss! It's amazing how people free to comment, even if they think they are being well meaning.
I just read another post about a woman who was fat shamed, and you are being skinny shamed! It's a thing, people! I was skinny shamed my whole life - "You're so thin, I hate you", "Eat something, you are wasting away". Here's the best - "Are you anorexic?" No!!!!!! Back in the day I was just naturally thin and had a high metabolism. Then I went on medication and it slowed to a crawl... but I digress...
I think the mark of someone who is ill looking and gaunt is the yellow or grayish cast to their skin and sunken facial features. You have neither of those things! If you look gaunt to them it's because you're so much thinner, and maybe excess skin is exacerbating your perfectly healthy weight. Skin only shrinks back so much!
Still, it's one thing if a close friend pulls you aside and shares her concerns. It's another for acquaintances to blast it all over the office!!!!0 -
No -- you look so beautiful! When I was in my early 20's, I lost 100 pounds and many people - family, friends, even coworkers - asked me if I was sick, told me I looked gaunt, told me I was too skinny. I was 5'9" and about 145 lbs. My doctor told me I was an "ideal" weight for my height and told me losing the 100 pounds probably saved my life.
The people telling me I was sickly, gaunt, and skinny just were used to seeing me fat. Seeing me healthy and normal looked odd to them. They were rude, yes. But they eventually adjusted to my new healthy weight and soon had a hard time picturing me heavier.
You did a GREAT thing for your health. Be proud and don't let their rudeness drag you down.0 -
MaryPoole1 wrote: »First off, don't take other people's opinions too much to heart. ESPECIALLY if their comments are mean spirited or if these people are not super close to you. Second, I think you're a cutie. You look a little like my daughter actually. She is very small and skinny and has the same face shape. About your appearance- in this photo, you DO look a little pale or washed out to me. I think part of that may be due to your makeup. I think your liner is a too heavy and dark and your lips or cheeks could use a touch of subtle color- think lip balm with a little bit of a tint. it's also possible you may have some extra skin going on after the weight loss, and even if you're a healthy weight it could be making you look "wasted away". You do almost look hungry in this picture, but I think mostly you just look unsure of yourself. You don't need other people's approval, just your own.
Congratulations on the weight loss and make sure you continue to get a well rounded diet that includes healthy fats- such as avocados, olives/olive oil, nuts, etc.
WTH!?1 -
Krisstastic_ wrote: »
I took this photo July 13th 2016.
Today a couple of co workers told me that I looked Sick and Gaunt.
I had to google what that word meant as i had never heard it before.
They told me that my cheeks were thin and my eyes were sunken in and that i didn't look healthy.
I am 5 foot 3, 139.2 pounds and at my goal weight.
I cried after i was told this.. Losing 113 pounds, i feel very self conscious still about my body, as far as loose skin goes, etc, but i didn't think i looked that bad?
Please be honest, do i look ill?
Not your circus, not your monkeys. Meaning you are fine and have so much to be proud of. They are starting drama because they are jealous. You're beautiful.0 -
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Jealousy at its finest. Congratulations on your loss and for reaching your goal weight. You do not look sick to me. Sick people don't have a beautiful smile like yours. I see gorgeous eyes. If they want to envy , let them. You ARE a success!0
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You look beautiful, healthy and happy! I had a friend tell me a while back that I did not look good at my current weight (5'8" 130 lbs) and that I was scrawny. I am not at all scrawny. Her opinion and she is entitled to it, don't make it your burden.0
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you look FANTASTIC!!!! i had gastric bypass in april 2015. i have lost more than what i weigh now... 132# gone... i have been told that as well but i just respond to them that i am in a healthy weight for my height.. im 5'4" 121# of course the ones who said im getting too skinny and not to lose anymore weight are overweight themselves and never had seen me thinner before... i am trying to maintain which is not easy as i am losing again....you look wonderful and very young... be proud of yourself ...just want to be a healthy version of me... :-) xoxo you look great...0
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I think the issue is people are so used to seeing you before, they aren't used to seeing you look normal! I bet if you went out to a new place where no one has known you when you were obese, they would think you look wonderful. Congratulations on your weight loss you look beautiful.
Plus America is so brainwashed now into thinking obese looks normal and "healthy" because, well, mostly everyone is overweight lol. Just keep doing you.0 -
I don't think they mean it in a bad way. Seeing your before and after photos I can kinda see where they are coming from. If they are used to seeing you 100 pounds heavier, it's going to take them some time to get used to the new you. Especially if these are people you didn't work with daily.
Not the same thing, but my cousin always wore bronzer and foundation. For the first time in like 5 years I saw her without bronzer or foundation. Her skin is beautiful, but the first thing I thought was wow...she looks sick! I actually asked her if she was ok. When you are used to seeing a person in full makeup and then you don't, it's like whoa! She's not ugly without makeup by any means, but it just took my brain a moment to process what I was seeing.0 -
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Krisstastic_ wrote: »Cutaway_Collar wrote: »Woman, the picture in the OP should look sad, like tear marks and mascara running down.
Are you fishing for compliments? Fellas, how many of you sent her personal messages. Confess your crimes.
Are you saying I was fishing for compliments?
While he didn't say it in the most tactful way, there may be some truth in his statement. You have to consider the possibility that subconsciously that, yes you were. You were feeling bad and wanted to feel better, no shame in that! But by becoming aware of our motivations, we can make conscious decisions. You know youve grown internally when insults and compliments have the same effect on you: nothing.0 -
Krisstastic_ wrote: »First of all, congratulations on losing 113 pounds! And I agree with others, you look beautiful.
When I lost 70 pounds, landing right in the middle of an average weight for my height, I started getting a lot of similar comments. Because I was still struggling with body image and accepting my new size, I lacked the confidence to reply in an assertive way. I did manage to tell one co-worker that her constant comments about me being too thin hurt my feelings, that it was no different than her saying to someone they were too fat. Another person that told me they were just concerned for my health, and I asked them where their concern was when I was obese. But mostly I just was hurt by the comments and felt so deflated at a time when I should have felt on top of the world. And yes, I did cry on occasion.
One thing that I think would have helped me is to practice a standard response that could be used in situations like that.
Yep I can definitely relate to you on the deflated thing.
I did put a message out on my fb saying that from this point on I will no longer be talking about my weight loss with anyone and I would like all comments. Positive or negative to stop. I told them I just wanna be normal now. I just wanna be me.
Dude yes! There are so many more things to define yourself by than just your body! Youre on the right track hell yaaa!!!0 -
You look wonderful. Be encouraged by the strives you are making in your life.
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