Hurtful comments towards my appearance.

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  • kgirlhart
    kgirlhart Posts: 5,008 Member
    edited July 2016
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    You look fantastic. It is hard not to be hurt by comments like that. You certainly look a lot thinner than your before picture but not at all gaunt or too thin. And I think your eyeliner is cute. I know lots if young ladies who wear it like that. If it makes you look anything it makes you look young.
  • beachgal0626
    beachgal0626 Posts: 1,912 Member
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    You look absolutely adorable and should be proud of all of your accomplishments. You do not need to change a thing! You look happy and healthy, so continue to be YOU!
  • beachgal0626
    beachgal0626 Posts: 1,912 Member
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    MaryPoole1 wrote: »
    First off, don't take other people's opinions too much to heart. ESPECIALLY if their comments are mean spirited or if these people are not super close to you. Second, I think you're a cutie. You look a little like my daughter actually. She is very small and skinny and has the same face shape. About your appearance- in this photo, you DO look a little pale or washed out to me. I think part of that may be due to your makeup. I think your liner is a too heavy and dark and your lips or cheeks could use a touch of subtle color- think lip balm with a little bit of a tint. it's also possible you may have some extra skin going on after the weight loss, and even if you're a healthy weight it could be making you look "wasted away". You do almost look hungry in this picture, but I think mostly you just look unsure of yourself. You don't need other people's approval, just your own. :) Congratulations on the weight loss and make sure you continue to get a well rounded diet that includes healthy fats- such as avocados, olives/olive oil, nuts, etc.

    Is it just me, or does this sound very passive-aggressive?! "Sure, you are a cutie, BUT . . . . do this, this and
    this . . . " She looks "hungry" in the picture?!!? smh
  • girl_inflames
    girl_inflames Posts: 374 Member
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    You look GREAT. You look HEALTHY. Your co-workers may just not be used to seeing you at this weight. Don't be hurt by it, it may be hard for them to accept your transformation...but from an outsider looking in, you have nothing to be worried about :heart:
  • llbrixon
    llbrixon Posts: 964 Member
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    You look great!
  • WillpowerBurton
    WillpowerBurton Posts: 65 Member
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    As nice as it is, all these people helping you figure out if there is truth to your dipshit coworkers' ridiculous comments, by giving you positive feedback from an objective point of view, YOU are the ONLY ONE who can make you feel or think a certain way. I know it is hard, and Im still practicing this myself, but taking responsibility for our own emotions is the only way to acquire real confidence. And yes it does take practice cuz its not easy.
    Dont live and die by other people's compliments/insults. Learn to trust your own ability to evaluate what is reality-based and what is insecurity-based (both your's and others'). Cultivate, recognize and celebrate your worth.
    PS AMAZING TRANSFORMATION!!!
  • tracykreczmer
    tracykreczmer Posts: 88 Member
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    How awesome are you!anyone that says anything about how u look..well who cares what they think! Look in that mirror girl and u see someone who kicked butt on your body! You are an inspiration..and a beautiful young lady! Well done how sad that people tear others down instead of building them up!
  • keegan2149
    keegan2149 Posts: 65 Member
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    You've made amazing progress. Were the people that said it people that knew you before you lost weight? Sometimes people can start to resent your success, especially if they are a little overweight. You've literally transformed. You probably have a lot more energy, more confidence and more interest from the opposite sex. People will watch and wait for an opportunity to discourage you. It's partially self-preservation on their part. You have really kind eyes. You're probably a really nice person. Just try and think about where they're coming from and how petty and frustrated they must be to lie to you that way. You look wonderful and you should be proud of your hard work.
  • nancy1465
    nancy1465 Posts: 25 Member
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    I dont know what I could say that hasnt already been said here. You should be very proud of yourself because it took alot of hard work for you to lose that kind of weight. I too have to lose ALOT of weight and you inspire me. I cant wait to post before and after pics as amazing as yours! You are very pretty and you look great. I also agree with some of our friends here that your co-workers are just jealous. I have friends who like to try to saboteur me in losing weight as well. Please listen to all of us here and hold your beautiful head up high and flaunt it! You deserve to!
  • snowey7
    snowey7 Posts: 6 Member
    edited July 2016
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    Girl, you look fabulous! It's very hard to ignore what others say, but ignoring it is as critical to your emotional progress as it is to your physical. You have every reason to be proud of your beauty. Have confidence that you achieved such an amazing goal! That is not easy with temptation and old habits constantly in your face. We often don't know what torments others to cause such hurtful words to spew out of their mouths. My colleague told me to "stop losing so much weight! You look like a bag of bones," four years ago. What she didn't know is that my husband had recently walked out on me. Words really do hurt. I'm sorry this was a recent experience for you, but don't let them bother you too much. We've got your back when you need us at MFP.
  • fitpal4242
    fitpal4242 Posts: 109 Member
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    Oh wow- you look awesome!! They probably just thoughtlessly said that because they were used to seeing your face fuller. Plus, some people feel threatened when others around them succeed.
  • fitpal4242
    fitpal4242 Posts: 109 Member
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    Also, I once had an obnoxious coworker say to me once- that I was 'almost as skinny' as her... A-hole!
  • AliceAxe
    AliceAxe Posts: 172 Member
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    ive had people say comemnts about my appearence too, my big nose and why dont I get a nose job, Ive got bad teeth from dental malpractice and just generaly not very attractive. but as my boyfriend says, we are not our bodies our bodies are just vehicles for our souls. our best goal is to keep it in the best running condition. I think you look fab btw, the before after photo is amazing you look healthier imho and much younger too in the after.
  • beachgal0626
    beachgal0626 Posts: 1,912 Member
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    ^^^^ "Our bodies are just vehicles for our souls" -- LOVE this!
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,645 Member
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    Krisstastic_ wrote: »
    61reibtuev50.jpg

    I took this photo July 13th 2016.

    Today a couple of co workers told me that I looked Sick and Gaunt.
    I had to google what that word meant as i had never heard it before.
    They told me that my cheeks were thin and my eyes were sunken in and that i didn't look healthy.

    I am 5 foot 3, 139.2 pounds and at my goal weight.
    I cried after i was told this.. Losing 113 pounds, i feel very self conscious still about my body, as far as loose skin goes, etc, but i didn't think i looked that bad?

    Please be honest, do i look ill?
    It's THEIR opinion. If you're feeling good about you, then how they feel is THEIR ISSUE, not yours. There will always be disagreement on how people look. Even people who have "perfect" bodies in one's eyes, looks like crap to another. And it's just opinion. Don't take it personal.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
    9285851.png

  • barbm04
    barbm04 Posts: 15 Member
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    I went through the same thing with coworkers when I got down to 139. People told me that I looked sickly. They are jealous!
  • sun_fish
    sun_fish Posts: 864 Member
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    First of all, congratulations on losing 113 pounds! And I agree with others, you look beautiful.

    When I lost 70 pounds, landing right in the middle of an average weight for my height, I started getting a lot of similar comments. Because I was still struggling with body image and accepting my new size, I lacked the confidence to reply in an assertive way. I did manage to tell one co-worker that her constant comments about me being too thin hurt my feelings, that it was no different than her saying to someone they were too fat. Another person that told me they were just concerned for my health, and I asked them where their concern was when I was obese. But mostly I just was hurt by the comments and felt so deflated at a time when I should have felt on top of the world. And yes, I did cry on occasion.

    One thing that I think would have helped me is to practice a standard response that could be used in situations like that.
  • missemmibelle
    missemmibelle Posts: 100 Member
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    Congrats on your loss! That's incredible!

    I can see why your coworkers may think that - your face is pale and there's a certain meekness to your posture in the photo. The thing is, the effect exists in the "before" photo as well so I'm inclined to think your coworkers are just being uncouth.
  • Whitezombiegirl
    Whitezombiegirl Posts: 1,042 Member
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    missemmibelle wrote: »
    Congrats on your loss! That's incredible!

    I can see why your coworkers may think that - your face is pale and there's a certain meekness to your posture in the photo. The thing is, the effect exists in the "before" photo as well so I'm inclined to think your coworkers are just being uncouth.

    My guess is that its just camera flash wash-out. My foundation has titanium dioxide in it- and camera flashes make me look really pale and washed out (I am pale also as I have light sensitivities)

  • WillpowerBurton
    WillpowerBurton Posts: 65 Member
    edited July 2016
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    This community is amazing I love you all

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