Did you lose your Lover/Spouse/S.O AFTER you loss weight???

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Replies

  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    STLBADGIRL wrote: »
    checking in.....how is everyone holding up????

    Still the same here. We had a better week, but I still feel out of sync right now...
  • THS2SHALLPASS
    THS2SHALLPASS Posts: 1,569 Member
    same here. its a work in progress. lot of stuff to still overcome but trying is at least taking place!
  • JuneGem6471
    JuneGem6471 Posts: 1,001 Member
    I actually got together with my SO and after we committed to each other I kind of fell off the wagon and have gained about 16 lbs back. I feel self conscious that a gain might cause him to be not attracted to me the same, although he says he is and that he finds me sexy. It is a motivator tho, and makes me want to keep going, while he supports me either way. There is no weight issue on his side, hes rather thin and can eat anything, and lots of it. It makes meals together difficult. Since my gain I'm more insecure than I was. I hate that feeling.
  • JuneGem6471
    JuneGem6471 Posts: 1,001 Member
    I actually got together with my SO and after we committed to each other I kind of fell off the wagon and have gained about 16 lbs back. I feel self conscious that a gain might cause him to be not attracted to me the same, although he says he is and that he finds me sexy. It is a motivator tho, and makes me want to keep going, while he supports me either way. There is no weight issue on his side, hes rather thin and can eat anything, and lots of it. It makes meals together difficult. Since my gain I'm more insecure than I was. I hate that feeling.

    I meant we got together after my biggest loss ever.
  • no_russian
    no_russian Posts: 893 Member
    I rapidly lost a lot of weight several years ago and my girlfriend at the time dumped me soon after. She did seem to become insecure about herself and she'd get extremely jealous even after the breakup.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    no_russian wrote: »
    I rapidly lost a lot of weight several years ago and my girlfriend at the time dumped me soon after. She did seem to become insecure about herself and she'd get extremely jealous even after the breakup.

    I'm sorry.

    I just don't get this. I'd be so happy if my husband lost weight.
  • STLBADGIRL
    STLBADGIRL Posts: 1,693 Member
    no_russian wrote: »
    I rapidly lost a lot of weight several years ago and my girlfriend at the time dumped me soon after. She did seem to become insecure about herself and she'd get extremely jealous even after the breakup.

    Do you think that was because of the weight loss, or her own insecurities? Wouldn't she want and even hotter you?
  • STLBADGIRL
    STLBADGIRL Posts: 1,693 Member
    I actually got together with my SO and after we committed to each other I kind of fell off the wagon and have gained about 16 lbs back. I feel self conscious that a gain might cause him to be not attracted to me the same, although he says he is and that he finds me sexy. It is a motivator tho, and makes me want to keep going, while he supports me either way. There is no weight issue on his side, hes rather thin and can eat anything, and lots of it. It makes meals together difficult. Since my gain I'm more insecure than I was. I hate that feeling.

    It seems like he supports you and loves you regardless. But if YOU are unhappy with your weight, take control of that....and then cook with your bf once or twice a week and enjoy the foods you guys cook together while losing weight. FYI - I wish I could eat whatever I wanted and didn't gain....I can think of food and gain weight....lol
  • yusaku02
    yusaku02 Posts: 3,472 Member
    STLBADGIRL wrote: »
    checking in.....how is everyone holding up????
    Not so great. The Vikings' O-Line was awful and they might not win the division if they can't protect the QB.
    On the relationship side I'm just fine since that breakup was over 3 years ago and I'm in a healthier/happier relationship plus we have a puppers.
  • Need2Exerc1se
    Need2Exerc1se Posts: 13,575 Member
    I did not but it's not very hard to figure out why it happens. Just look at all the posts about "lifestyle change". A change in lifestyle may not be desirable to a spouse who is happy with the current lifestyle.
  • STLBADGIRL
    STLBADGIRL Posts: 1,693 Member
    yusaku02 wrote: »
    STLBADGIRL wrote: »
    checking in.....how is everyone holding up????
    Not so great. The Vikings' O-Line was awful and they might not win the division if they can't protect the QB.
    On the relationship side I'm just fine since that breakup was over 3 years ago and I'm in a healthier/happier relationship plus we have a puppers.

    :smiley::smiley::smiley:@yusaku02 It was just one damn game the Vikings lost....lmaoooooooooooo. They better win this week per I bet on them in my football pool...

    In your current relationship, does your so support your weight loss journey and goals? Umm puppers?
  • STLBADGIRL
    STLBADGIRL Posts: 1,693 Member
    same here. its a work in progress. lot of stuff to still overcome but trying is at least taking place!

    Trying is good, compared to NOTHING @2017VETTEZO6 I'm hoping and wishing it works out for you two? How was the trip?
  • yusaku02
    yusaku02 Posts: 3,472 Member
    STLBADGIRL wrote: »
    yusaku02 wrote: »
    STLBADGIRL wrote: »
    checking in.....how is everyone holding up????
    Not so great. The Vikings' O-Line was awful and they might not win the division if they can't protect the QB.
    On the relationship side I'm just fine since that breakup was over 3 years ago and I'm in a healthier/happier relationship plus we have a puppers.

    :smiley::smiley::smiley:@yusaku02 It was just one damn game the Vikings lost....lmaoooooooooooo. They better win this week per I bet on them in my football pool...

    In your current relationship, does your so support your weight loss journey and goals? Umm puppers?
    It was one game but it was so soul crushing to watch :bawling:
    I haven't needed to lose weight since late 2013/early 2014. I've actually been trying to gain weight (muscle) for the last 2 years. My current girlfriend is supportive and encourages me to hit the gym. She cooks delicious bulking meals too :yum::love:

    This is a puppers
    d723aa915b6cd13b480e4cadf94884ff.jpg
  • STLBADGIRL
    STLBADGIRL Posts: 1,693 Member
    yusaku02 wrote: »
    STLBADGIRL wrote: »
    yusaku02 wrote: »
    STLBADGIRL wrote: »
    checking in.....how is everyone holding up????
    Not so great. The Vikings' O-Line was awful and they might not win the division if they can't protect the QB.
    On the relationship side I'm just fine since that breakup was over 3 years ago and I'm in a healthier/happier relationship plus we have a puppers.

    :smiley::smiley::smiley:@yusaku02 It was just one damn game the Vikings lost....lmaoooooooooooo. They better win this week per I bet on them in my football pool...

    In your current relationship, does your so support your weight loss journey and goals? Umm puppers?
    It was one game but it was so soul crushing to watch :bawling:
    I haven't needed to lose weight since late 2013/early 2014. I've actually been trying to gain weight (muscle) for the last 2 years. My current girlfriend is supportive and encourages me to hit the gym. She cooks delicious bulking meals too :yum::love:

    This is a puppers
    d723aa915b6cd13b480e4cadf94884ff.jpg

    Talking about souls being crushed....Sam played in St. Louis and was traded....and now he is balling... THEN the Rams went to L.A.... so I should really be crying....

    I love the pup.... my dog could not be on anything soft right now....he just tears it up. So cool that you are in a better situation and relationship!!!!
  • THS2SHALLPASS
    THS2SHALLPASS Posts: 1,569 Member
    STLBADGIRL wrote: »
    same here. its a work in progress. lot of stuff to still overcome but trying is at least taking place!

    Trying is good, compared to NOTHING @2017VETTEZO6 I'm hoping and wishing it works out for you two? How was the trip?
    the trip was good. we are both on different pages still. trying to fix it all but its a lot to fix!
  • no_russian
    no_russian Posts: 893 Member
    STLBADGIRL wrote: »
    no_russian wrote: »
    I rapidly lost a lot of weight several years ago and my girlfriend at the time dumped me soon after. She did seem to become insecure about herself and she'd get extremely jealous even after the breakup.

    Do you think that was because of the weight loss, or her own insecurities? Wouldn't she want and even hotter you?

    Could be. All I know is the problems started after my weight loss.


  • STLBADGIRL
    STLBADGIRL Posts: 1,693 Member
    Hope all is good with the posters in this thread!!! Keep your head up and stick to your goals!!!!
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    So rough right now! With the Holidays coming I'm getting more and more down because I don't really don't want to spend them with him, even less with his family. So we're fighting too. But it's supposed to be joyful and happy and I'm just really not feeling that right now.
  • STLBADGIRL
    STLBADGIRL Posts: 1,693 Member
    Francl27 wrote: »
    So rough right now! With the Holidays coming I'm getting more and more down because I don't really don't want to spend them with him, even less with his family. So we're fighting too. But it's supposed to be joyful and happy and I'm just really not feeling that right now.

    Big hugs to you!!!! Yes, the holidays are supposed to be joyful!!!! I hope you find some type of peace soon!!!!
  • gcibsthom
    gcibsthom Posts: 30,145 Member
    I can only hope that losing weight would have that result....
  • Pixel8edRevelry
    Pixel8edRevelry Posts: 3 Member
    I've heard about this happening, although I guess I couldn't imagine it. My fiancé has always been so supportive. I listened to a fitness podcast that talked about it being an intimidation thing. Like... 'this person is bettering themselves... what am I doing to make myself better?' Maybe it could make a partner self-analyze and potentially discover some unsavory truths about themselves? I'm just speculating, but that's the best I could come up with.
  • Gallowmere1984
    Gallowmere1984 Posts: 6,626 Member
    No, but I did lose mine after she got her *kitten* together for a couple of years, got fat again, and became insufferable to be around at times because of it. Mopey *kitten* drives me insane.
  • kschwab0203
    kschwab0203 Posts: 610 Member
    I have a friend ( I use that term loosely with this particular person) that was always overweight. From the day she met and married her husband she was significantly overweight. Her husband, who is also overweight, is one of the sweetest funniest people you would ever meet. A few years ago she lost a ton of weight and I will give it to her she looks great. Only thing is, now she treats her husband like *kitten*. It's so sad to see. Like she's better than him and he's disgusting and stupid because he's still overweight. She mocks him and puts him down in front of others. It really is very very sad.
  • mahhi223
    mahhi223 Posts: 1 Member
    Hy I m new here
  • STLBADGIRL
    STLBADGIRL Posts: 1,693 Member
    I have a friend ( I use that term loosely with this particular person) that was always overweight. From the day she met and married her husband she was significantly overweight. Her husband, who is also overweight, is one of the sweetest funniest people you would ever meet. A few years ago she lost a ton of weight and I will give it to her she looks great. Only thing is, now she treats her husband like *kitten*. It's so sad to see. Like she's better than him and he's disgusting and stupid because he's still overweight. She mocks him and puts him down in front of others. It really is very very sad.

    I've heard of this happening and that sucks. She should be so understanding and supportive out of all people considering she was once there herself.
  • STLBADGIRL
    STLBADGIRL Posts: 1,693 Member
    mahhi223 wrote: »
    Hy I m new here

    Hello and welcome. Would you like to share your experience?
  • STLBADGIRL
    STLBADGIRL Posts: 1,693 Member
    No, but I did lose mine after she got her *kitten* together for a couple of years, got fat again, and became insufferable to be around at times because of it. Mopey *kitten* drives me insane.

    Wow. I can understand how you feel.
  • STLBADGIRL
    STLBADGIRL Posts: 1,693 Member
    It's the new year....How is everyone doing? Are you hanging in there, did things get better, or worse, blah blah???
  • rabbidchicken
    rabbidchicken Posts: 32 Member
    For me weight loss came second my kids mom walked out though after i got sober. She left me and the girls live with me full time. Lost 75 pounds since then but still dont feel good about myself. Not exactly the same but similar my decision to get healthy split us up granted we didnt have the best relationship to start with but it was definitively the straw that broke the camels back. She seems happy with her twenty year old party boy she married instead of me though lol. At least i will live longer i guess
  • STLBADGIRL
    STLBADGIRL Posts: 1,693 Member
    For me weight loss came second my kids mom walked out though after i got sober. She left me and the girls live with me full time. Lost 75 pounds since then but still dont feel good about myself. Not exactly the same but similar my decision to get healthy split us up granted we didnt have the best relationship to start with but it was definitively the straw that broke the camels back. She seems happy with her twenty year old party boy she married instead of me though lol. At least i will live longer i guess

    Thanks for sharing... Yes, you decided to get 'healthy' - meaning sober and you lost your SO due to it. But lets just talk about your strength and courage for a minute. I've dealt with drug and alcohol addiction in my family. I'm talking about Mom, Dad, brother and a few other close relatives- so I know how hard it is to decide and commit to being sober. And that's an amazing gift that you gave to your kids - YOU GO BOY!!!! So you lost her, but YOU HAVE GAINED SO MUCH MORE!!!! Cheers to being sober, losing weight, and being a good Dad to your kids!!!!!
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