Did you lose your Lover/Spouse/S.O AFTER you loss weight???

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STLBADGIRL
STLBADGIRL Posts: 1,693 Member
in Chit-Chat
I see a lot of major body and attitude transformations and tons of success stories and wanted to know if you ever lost a lover, significant other or spouse due to your new and improved you? If so, why do you think it didn't work out?
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  • STLBADGIRL
    STLBADGIRL Posts: 1,693 Member
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    Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
    But I'm irreplaceable ;)

    LOL - That's right!!!!
  • STLBADGIRL
    STLBADGIRL Posts: 1,693 Member
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    bemyyfriend0918 wrote: »
    I haven't personally had this happen but I have read quite a few stories about this being common. I think it can be a few reasons really, but one of the one I hear most often is that it is common for those who are overweight to "settle" for the best they feel they can get. Maybe they weren't actually in love in the first place, and just settled for the only thing they thought they could find. Now that they are thinner and have more options, they start getting curious about finding someone they actually connect with.

    Another reason could be that the couple was really in love, but the one who lost weight now has a different lifestyle. Maybe before the weight loss they enjoyed eating bad foods and bonded over eating and not being active. Now that one part of the couple is living differently it could cause issues...
    I know of a few people that broke up or got a divorce because their partner was jealous and insecure of their success and new look. Wanted to know if anyone else experienced that.
  • STLBADGIRL
    STLBADGIRL Posts: 1,693 Member
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    actualbettycrocker wrote: »
    The complete opposite actually happened with my parents. My dad got fit years ago and my mom was always a little overweight and then over a year ago she decided to start working out. So he gave her advice and now she's super in shape. They're so supportive of each other and their individual goals.
    That's good team work! And I'm glad you shared this story.
  • ncahill77
    ncahill77 Posts: 501 Member
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    I'm starting to wonder if I'm headed that way, I just turned 40 and my wife pretty much ignored it, the kids asked if we were having a cake so she went to walmart and got one the plain cakes and stuck a candle in it. Not sure if it is the weight loss or what.
  • STLBADGIRL
    STLBADGIRL Posts: 1,693 Member
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    ncahill77 wrote: »
    I'm starting to wonder if I'm headed that way, I just turned 40 and my wife pretty much ignored it, the kids asked if we were having a cake so she went to walmart and got one the plain cakes and stuck a candle in it. Not sure if it is the weight loss or what.
    I know that this shouldn't be funny, but the way you worded this had me chuckling. But Happy Birthday and that's something that should be celebrated. Maybe she could have saved some calories for your big day!
  • Pterod
    Pterod Posts: 131 Member
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    I think I might be losing my marriage during the weight loss but it's unrelated except that as I'm taking control of one area of my life I want the other areas to be good too. I'm desperately sad about it, not sleeping and because of that, I'm too tired to exercise properly.
  • STLBADGIRL
    STLBADGIRL Posts: 1,693 Member
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    bearbugbear wrote: »
    I think I might be losing my marriage during the weight loss but it's unrelated except that as I'm taking control of one area of my life I want the other areas to be good too. I'm desperately sad about it, not sleeping and because of that, I'm too tired to exercise properly.

    I HATE to hear this. But it's not over yet, so I believe that you still have chance! Someone once told me that God is up 24/7, so why do we lose sleep??? Pray from the heart, trust God, let go, and get some sleep! You need to be healthy, and you need to hit your goals that you set for yourself. Good luck and keep me updated. Praying for your family.
  • upoffthemat
    upoffthemat Posts: 679 Member
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    I did, both of us were very overweight and unhealthy and I started working on it. She went the other way, started smoking more, eating more. I would make a healthy meal, she would go to the fridge and scoop on sour cream, cheese, corn chips, etc to the plate and then have cake and ice cream for dessert. I think now she wanted me to prove I loved her no matter what and I could have been a lot better about things, but there was plenty of blame to go around there. Not my best shining moment, but I wasn't a total jerk either. I wanted to get healthy so we could actually enjoy things in life.
    Who knew trying to get healthy could cause so many issues in a relationship. I was blindsided and just distanced myself emotionally and eventually physically.
  • STLBADGIRL
    STLBADGIRL Posts: 1,693 Member
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    brianbgboy wrote: »
    I did. I went from 472lbs to 239 and now im seperated after 19 years of marriage. not really sure what all happened but im living life and enjoying it!
    Its a shame that "some" can't have both. A healthier and better version of YOU ANNNNNNNNNNNND a happy relationship/marriage!!!

  • STLBADGIRL
    STLBADGIRL Posts: 1,693 Member
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    makingmark wrote: »
    I did, both of us were very overweight and unhealthy and I started working on it. She went the other way, started smoking more, eating more. I would make a healthy meal, she would go to the fridge and scoop on sour cream, cheese, corn chips, etc to the plate and then have cake and ice cream for dessert. I think now she wanted me to prove I loved her no matter what and I could have been a lot better about things, but there was plenty of blame to go around there. Not my best shining moment, but I wasn't a total jerk either. I wanted to get healthy so we could actually enjoy things in life.
    Who knew trying to get healthy could cause so many issues in a relationship. I was blindsided and just distanced myself emotionally and eventually physically.
    Sorry to hear this. My cousin went through a similar situation. Her husband wanted her to be more healthy. She would buy cakes and cookies, and non healthy foods and he would throw it away...It caused so many arguments between them and they went through the same thing that you described in your relationship. PS, weren't you proving you loved her by wanting to change your lifestyle for the better?

  • STLBADGIRL
    STLBADGIRL Posts: 1,693 Member
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    Thanks everyone for being so open and honest about a personal experience in your life that, I'm sure, was difficult.
  • upoffthemat
    upoffthemat Posts: 679 Member
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    STLBADGIRL wrote: »
    makingmark wrote: »
    I did, both of us were very overweight and unhealthy and I started working on it. She went the other way, started smoking more, eating more. I would make a healthy meal, she would go to the fridge and scoop on sour cream, cheese, corn chips, etc to the plate and then have cake and ice cream for dessert. I think now she wanted me to prove I loved her no matter what and I could have been a lot better about things, but there was plenty of blame to go around there. Not my best shining moment, but I wasn't a total jerk either. I wanted to get healthy so we could actually enjoy things in life.
    Who knew trying to get healthy could cause so many issues in a relationship. I was blindsided and just distanced myself emotionally and eventually physically.
    Sorry to hear this. My cousin went through a similar situation. Her husband wanted her to be more healthy. She would buy cakes and cookies, and non healthy foods and he would throw it away...It caused so many arguments between them and they went through the same thing that you described in your relationship. PS, weren't you proving you loved her by wanting to change your lifestyle for the better?

    I thought I was proving to her I loved her, but I wasn't meeting her where she wanted to be met. I didn't realize it at the time. I don't know if I could have done differently, but I do think I wasn't as aware as I could have been. I don't know if there is any way it could have worked, but I do think I could have tried harder.

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