Did you lose your Lover/Spouse/S.O AFTER you loss weight???
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mntnwmn477 wrote: »bearbugbear wrote: »I really hoped losing weight would make me more attractive to my husband but it hasn't helped. He's not the only reason I'm losing but I'm heartbroken it hasn't worked. I just want to be desired by him.
((((((HUGS)))))) I'm in the same boat....it hurts
Hang in there!
See my shirt, huggs to the both of you.
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sunnybeaches105 wrote: »Nope. If anything we got closer. And a bit more sweaty.
Yay! Awesome. Thanks for sharing.0 -
we went through the roommate phase like 15 years ago but we made it through that after learning each others needs. then after weight loss she felt insecure and leaves me? her loss, look at me now!
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We went through that room mate phase. And the God get out of my face phase. We still have our ups and downs but I feel closer to him now than when we were first together.6
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Never lost a spouse /lover/ s.o. after losing weight, but I have lost weight after losing a spouse/lover/s.o.8
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Thanks for sharing your story. It seems like you have a keeper now! Don't allow fear to mess that up. Keep to your goal! Love should be pure and not so shallow. So keep doing you. High Five.louann_jude wrote: »I had an opposite situation when I met my ex I was smaller. I got pregnant and gained quite a bit of weight. He cheated a lot and when I finally was able to prove it I left. My fiancee now met me when I weighed 268 pounds. He said I was beautiful. After two pregnancies I got to 300 pounds. He still said I was beautiful and he loved me.
I started my Journey in January and have lost 87 pounds. I am terrified he will leave but he still says he loves me and I am beautiful.
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JeromeBarry1 wrote: »A few months ago a fellow at church told us that we were the happiest people and so in love with each other and he was really impressed with us. I thought, "Who?, What? How?" . Well, it worked out like this, at about the same time I started on MFP I stopped on porn. Success on losing weight made me happy. Success off porn made her happy.
Kudos to you!!!! #winning So keep doing what makes you happy. evidently it is resonating.0 -
Hugs appreciated thank you, I've spent the evening crying upstairs while he watched TVs downstairs. Miserable but I hope we get through it.0
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TheRoadDog wrote: »Never lost a spouse /lover/ s.o. after losing weight, but I have lost weight after losing a spouse/lover/s.o.
I don't know why this made me bahahahahahaaaa 0 -
to all here going through this like I am, there is light at the end of the tunnel! the last few days on here have made me open up and tell my story. since then, I feel much better and realize life is really pretty damn good for me! smile everyday and live life for yourself.4
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this is awesome Abrianbgboy that you are able to open up more, and because of it, we see that others are going through it too. Therapeutic in a way....It's hard while you are going through, but there is life beyond....brianbgboy wrote: »to all here going through this like I am, there is light at the end of the tunnel! the last few days on here have made me open up and tell my story. since then, I feel much better and realize life is really pretty damn good for me! smile everyday and live life for yourself.
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bearbugbear wrote: »I really hoped losing weight would make me more attractive to my husband but it hasn't helped. He's not the only reason I'm losing but I'm heartbroken it hasn't worked. I just want to be desired by him.
I don't know how I overlooked this. This tugged at my heartstrings. The first thing that came to my mind was for you to pray for your husband. Continue your weightloss journey (because staying focused on a goal is sexy in itself). But there could be other demanding issues that he is dealing with (finances, job, kids, etc.) that could affect him and come off as him not being attracted to you! Build your confidence, self worth and self esteem. Hugs!3 -
mntnwmn477 wrote: »bearbugbear wrote: »I really hoped losing weight would make me more attractive to my husband but it hasn't helped. He's not the only reason I'm losing but I'm heartbroken it hasn't worked. I just want to be desired by him.
((((((HUGS)))))) I'm in the same boat....it hurts Hang in there!
Hugs to you too!!!!!0 -
STLBADGIRL wrote: »bearbugbear wrote: »I really hoped losing weight would make me more attractive to my husband but it hasn't helped. He's not the only reason I'm losing but I'm heartbroken it hasn't worked. I just want to be desired by him.
I don't know how I overlooked this. This tugged at my heartstrings. The first thing that came to my mind was for you to pray for your husband. Continue your weightloss journey (because staying focused on a goal is sexy in itself). But there could be other demanding issues that he is dealing with (finances, job, kids, etc.) that could affect him and come off as him not being attracted to you! Build your confidence, self worth and self esteem. Hugs!
Thank you for your kind words. Sadly he's just not attracted to me, he told me recently that he never desired me (even when we met before three children and weight gain) I'm devastated but I'm determined to reach my goal, 24lbs to go to healthy weight on bmi, I want to be healthy and a good role model for my children and to feel better about myself even if I can't be sexy for my husband.3 -
bearbugbear wrote: »STLBADGIRL wrote: »bearbugbear wrote: »I really hoped losing weight would make me more attractive to my husband but it hasn't helped. He's not the only reason I'm losing but I'm heartbroken it hasn't worked. I just want to be desired by him.
I don't know how I overlooked this. This tugged at my heartstrings. The first thing that came to my mind was for you to pray for your husband. Continue your weightloss journey (because staying focused on a goal is sexy in itself). But there could be other demanding issues that he is dealing with (finances, job, kids, etc.) that could affect him and come off as him not being attracted to you! Build your confidence, self worth and self esteem. Hugs!
Thank you for your kind words. Sadly he's just not attracted to me, he told me recently that he never desired me (even when we met before three children and weight gain) I'm devastated but I'm determined to reach my goal, 24lbs to go to healthy weight on bmi, I want to be healthy and a good role model for my children and to feel better about myself even if I can't be sexy for my husband.
This is very hard to read. I'm confused as to why he would marry you if he didn't find you attractive. That was really mean of him to say. Hang in there Hun and continue your mission of being a awesome Role Model to your kids.4 -
STLBADGIRL wrote: »bearbugbear wrote: »STLBADGIRL wrote: »bearbugbear wrote: »I really hoped losing weight would make me more attractive to my husband but it hasn't helped. He's not the only reason I'm losing but I'm heartbroken it hasn't worked. I just want to be desired by him.
I don't know how I overlooked this. This tugged at my heartstrings. The first thing that came to my mind was for you to pray for your husband. Continue your weightloss journey (because staying focused on a goal is sexy in itself). But there could be other demanding issues that he is dealing with (finances, job, kids, etc.) that could affect him and come off as him not being attracted to you! Build your confidence, self worth and self esteem. Hugs!
Thank you for your kind words. Sadly he's just not attracted to me, he told me recently that he never desired me (even when we met before three children and weight gain) I'm devastated but I'm determined to reach my goal, 24lbs to go to healthy weight on bmi, I want to be healthy and a good role model for my children and to feel better about myself even if I can't be sexy for my husband.
This is very hard to read. I'm confused as to why he would marry you if he didn't find you attractive. That was really mean of him to say. Hang in there Hun and continue your mission of being a awesome Role Model to your kids.
Well I can answer that I guess... Sometimes you just love someone for who they are, not necessarily their looks.. you get along great, your personalities really click, you're very comfortable with each other... there's just not always that physical attraction. I'm still not sure it can actually work long term though...2 -
STLBADGIRL wrote: »bearbugbear wrote: »STLBADGIRL wrote: »bearbugbear wrote: »I really hoped losing weight would make me more attractive to my husband but it hasn't helped. He's not the only reason I'm losing but I'm heartbroken it hasn't worked. I just want to be desired by him.
I don't know how I overlooked this. This tugged at my heartstrings. The first thing that came to my mind was for you to pray for your husband. Continue your weightloss journey (because staying focused on a goal is sexy in itself). But there could be other demanding issues that he is dealing with (finances, job, kids, etc.) that could affect him and come off as him not being attracted to you! Build your confidence, self worth and self esteem. Hugs!
Thank you for your kind words. Sadly he's just not attracted to me, he told me recently that he never desired me (even when we met before three children and weight gain) I'm devastated but I'm determined to reach my goal, 24lbs to go to healthy weight on bmi, I want to be healthy and a good role model for my children and to feel better about myself even if I can't be sexy for my husband.
This is very hard to read. I'm confused as to why he would marry you if he didn't find you attractive. That was really mean of him to say. Hang in there Hun and continue your mission of being a awesome Role Model to your kids.
Well I can answer that I guess... Sometimes you just love someone for who they are, not necessarily their looks.. you get along great, your personalities really click, you're very comfortable with each other... there's just not always that physical attraction. I'm still not sure it can actually work long term though...
hmmmmm. that's something to think about. HMMMMM. For me I have to be attracted to you. Hell, even if it's ONLY your pinky toe. What you described to me (which I think is very good points) in my book, is a good friendship.1 -
STLBADGIRL wrote: »bearbugbear wrote: »STLBADGIRL wrote: »bearbugbear wrote: »I really hoped losing weight would make me more attractive to my husband but it hasn't helped. He's not the only reason I'm losing but I'm heartbroken it hasn't worked. I just want to be desired by him.
I don't know how I overlooked this. This tugged at my heartstrings. The first thing that came to my mind was for you to pray for your husband. Continue your weightloss journey (because staying focused on a goal is sexy in itself). But there could be other demanding issues that he is dealing with (finances, job, kids, etc.) that could affect him and come off as him not being attracted to you! Build your confidence, self worth and self esteem. Hugs!
Thank you for your kind words. Sadly he's just not attracted to me, he told me recently that he never desired me (even when we met before three children and weight gain) I'm devastated but I'm determined to reach my goal, 24lbs to go to healthy weight on bmi, I want to be healthy and a good role model for my children and to feel better about myself even if I can't be sexy for my husband.
This is very hard to read. I'm confused as to why he would marry you if he didn't find you attractive. That was really mean of him to say. Hang in there Hun and continue your mission of being a awesome Role Model to your kids.
He has recently told me he is asexual. He loves me but doesn't desire me. He thinks I'm attractive but in a platonic way. I'm so sad about it but it explains a lot over the years. We are definitely at a crossroads in our relationship and I'm not at all sure it will survive. Losing weight hasn't helped but then, it wouldn't, but that's what he told me before he confessed to his asexuality. He married me because he loved me in his way and wanted a family. Thank you for the support, I appreciate it, I can do with all the support I can get, after all, who can I talk to in real life about it!2 -
Kind of a polar opposite. I'm going through a divorce NOW because I gained too much weight for her standard and she got a boyfriend who was younger, skinnier and better in bed......as so I was told.0
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STLBADGIRL wrote: »STLBADGIRL wrote: »bearbugbear wrote: »STLBADGIRL wrote: »bearbugbear wrote: »I really hoped losing weight would make me more attractive to my husband but it hasn't helped. He's not the only reason I'm losing but I'm heartbroken it hasn't worked. I just want to be desired by him.
I don't know how I overlooked this. This tugged at my heartstrings. The first thing that came to my mind was for you to pray for your husband. Continue your weightloss journey (because staying focused on a goal is sexy in itself). But there could be other demanding issues that he is dealing with (finances, job, kids, etc.) that could affect him and come off as him not being attracted to you! Build your confidence, self worth and self esteem. Hugs!
Thank you for your kind words. Sadly he's just not attracted to me, he told me recently that he never desired me (even when we met before three children and weight gain) I'm devastated but I'm determined to reach my goal, 24lbs to go to healthy weight on bmi, I want to be healthy and a good role model for my children and to feel better about myself even if I can't be sexy for my husband.
This is very hard to read. I'm confused as to why he would marry you if he didn't find you attractive. That was really mean of him to say. Hang in there Hun and continue your mission of being a awesome Role Model to your kids.
Well I can answer that I guess... Sometimes you just love someone for who they are, not necessarily their looks.. you get along great, your personalities really click, you're very comfortable with each other... there's just not always that physical attraction. I'm still not sure it can actually work long term though...
hmmmmm. that's something to think about. HMMMMM. For me I have to be attracted to you. Hell, even if it's ONLY your pinky toe. What you described to me (which I think is very good points) in my book, is a good friendship.
Yeah I'm still trying to figure that one out myself.... but I think there's really a distinction between a good friend and someone you can't imagine living without...bearbugbear wrote: »STLBADGIRL wrote: »bearbugbear wrote: »STLBADGIRL wrote: »bearbugbear wrote: »I really hoped losing weight would make me more attractive to my husband but it hasn't helped. He's not the only reason I'm losing but I'm heartbroken it hasn't worked. I just want to be desired by him.
I don't know how I overlooked this. This tugged at my heartstrings. The first thing that came to my mind was for you to pray for your husband. Continue your weightloss journey (because staying focused on a goal is sexy in itself). But there could be other demanding issues that he is dealing with (finances, job, kids, etc.) that could affect him and come off as him not being attracted to you! Build your confidence, self worth and self esteem. Hugs!
Thank you for your kind words. Sadly he's just not attracted to me, he told me recently that he never desired me (even when we met before three children and weight gain) I'm devastated but I'm determined to reach my goal, 24lbs to go to healthy weight on bmi, I want to be healthy and a good role model for my children and to feel better about myself even if I can't be sexy for my husband.
This is very hard to read. I'm confused as to why he would marry you if he didn't find you attractive. That was really mean of him to say. Hang in there Hun and continue your mission of being a awesome Role Model to your kids.
He has recently told me he is asexual. He loves me but doesn't desire me. He thinks I'm attractive but in a platonic way. I'm so sad about it but it explains a lot over the years. We are definitely at a crossroads in our relationship and I'm not at all sure it will survive. Losing weight hasn't helped but then, it wouldn't, but that's what he told me before he confessed to his asexuality. He married me because he loved me in his way and wanted a family. Thank you for the support, I appreciate it, I can do with all the support I can get, after all, who can I talk to in real life about it!
That's rough. I'm sorry.0
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