Did you lose your Lover/Spouse/S.O AFTER you loss weight???

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  • brianbgboy
    brianbgboy Posts: 393 Member
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    STLBADGIRL wrote: »
    brianbgboy wrote: »
    I did. I went from 472lbs to 239 and now im seperated after 19 years of marriage. not really sure what all happened but im living life and enjoying it!
    Its a shame that "some" can't have both. A healthier and better version of YOU ANNNNNNNNNNNND a happy relationship/marriage!!!
    I agree with you. the thing is with me was I was getting a lot of attention from ladies at my work, her work and at the gym. I never reacted or flirted at all from any of them! she hated it and said it was just a matter of time I would cheat and threw away 19 years of marriage for nothing.

  • STLBADGIRL
    STLBADGIRL Posts: 1,693 Member
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    brianbgboy wrote: »
    STLBADGIRL wrote: »
    brianbgboy wrote: »
    I did. I went from 472lbs to 239 and now im seperated after 19 years of marriage. not really sure what all happened but im living life and enjoying it!
    Its a shame that "some" can't have both. A healthier and better version of YOU ANNNNNNNNNNNND a happy relationship/marriage!!!
    I agree with you. the thing is with me was I was getting a lot of attention from ladies at my work, her work and at the gym. I never reacted or flirted at all from any of them! she hated it and said it was just a matter of time I would cheat and threw away 19 years of marriage for nothing.

    So sad. She gave up on a marriage based on an even that didn't occur. Well I am praying that you meet someone else that will be supportive and join you on your weight loss journey and other mission and goals that you have!!!!
  • brianbgboy
    brianbgboy Posts: 393 Member
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    Shells918 wrote: »
    When I married my first husband I weighed over 200 lbs. I was 27 and never thought I'd meet someone. I lost some weight for the wedding, but it wasn't till the next year after a vacation where there were no pictures of me, a former camera hog, that I knew I needed to make changes. He and I started on Weight Watchers together. He lost 25 pounds so fast, I was totally jealous, but kept going. After 6 months, I'd lost close to 50 lbs, and he quit. I started exercising with my company sponsored gym membership. He quit his job and sat around all day doing nothing. Supposedly looking for a job but I found out later he was day trading our savings. I was getting a lot of attention at my job for losing so much weight. I had energy, I felt happy, and I'd go home to my lazy husband who was now out of work for 6 months and "forgot" how to attach his resume to an email. I started realizing I was stagnating with him, so I left.
    Sad part, when I told him I was leaving, he said ok. That was it. No begging me to stay, no nothing.

    Would I have left if I didn't lose the weight? Maybe. It was easy to stay when I was heavy and settling. I realized I could do more with myself and for myself.
    Lesson learned: never settle.
    I totally understand where you are coming from! im the general manager of a car dealership here in new Orleans and have always worked really hard and long hours to provide for my family. my wife was happy all throughout when I was settling for who I had become even though she feared me having a heart attack or other health issue. she was always small at 140 lbs and I thought my losing weight would be the answer. I was wrong! I really don't get it at all but it is what it is. she made her choice and its done.. good luck to you! I say we deserve someone to support us the way we should/need to be anyway!


  • brianbgboy
    brianbgboy Posts: 393 Member
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    mntnwmn477 wrote: »
    I'm going through this right now. After 10 years of marriage and a couple kids things got a little too cushy with us and we packed on the pounds. Well, I didn't want to live like that, it made me deeply depressed to see how I was going downhill and so I decided to do something about it. I started exercising daily, eating better and I've seen awesome results. I've gotten in touch with who I am and who I've always wanted to be. However, my relationship has taken a downward spiral because of it. He refuses to get on board with me and doesn't even recognize my weight loss. It feels like we're living two completely different lives....like we're just roommates taking care of a couple kids. Our goals and our needs/wants are not on the same level at all. Not sure where we're going, but I've distanced myself emotionally already and it's not looking good.

    its hard when the kids are little. we had some issues in the first couple of years of marriage long before I gained all my weight but we worked it out to not break our sons home. I was depressed for years due to work stuff and my family issues I gained all my weight. as I started losing weight she was happy. then some of the ladies at her work started telling her I was getting "hot" and she better keep me on a leash so she started over thinking things. it got ugly a many times over not a damn thing! I never ever cheated! she said it was a matter of time before I would so she wouldn't wait around for it to happen. I don't get it and never will! im just living my life my way now. sad part is we split 4 months ago and I haven't been with another woman yet!!!!
  • Icheatonmywife
    Icheatonmywife Posts: 132 Member
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    louann_jude wrote: »
    mountman2012 wrote: »
    Been there done that. I dropped 60lbs from 300 to 230lbs. She resents me for it. I have tried to help, when asked for help, but she never sticks to anything, or finished anything. Constantly complains about weight but wont do anything about it. Its bad enough now, we don't talk, don't have sex, basically just live as room mates. I did it cause doctors told me I was borderline diabetic, with High blood pressure, and a candidate for a heart attack.

    I kind of wanted to live and did it with or with out her. So here I am, back at 275lbs because I let things slide just for her, to see if that would help. It doesn't, help, just makes me depressed, and she still does not love me.
    So Im back on my mission to weight around 230 and be health.

    Sorry you are going through this. I have learned if someone isn't happy with their selves nothing you do can make them happy. I know it's hard but you may have to do you and let her do her and do what makes you happy. Unless someone wants to change they wont. I learned that the hard way.

    Thats what I am doing, just have to be me...
  • moya_bleh
    moya_bleh Posts: 1,375 Member
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    No, but I have lost two fiancees and I have friends who have lost wives after they had lost the weight, started getting attention from other guys and decided to trade up.
  • JukeboxHeroine
    JukeboxHeroine Posts: 348 Member
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    moya_bleh wrote: »
    No, but I have lost two fiancees and I have friends who have lost wives after they had lost the weight, started getting attention from other guys and decided to trade up.

    I've seen this too. That's awful and makes me think they didn't really love their spouse in the first place.
  • Pterod
    Pterod Posts: 131 Member
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    I really hoped losing weight would make me more attractive to my husband but it hasn't helped. He's not the only reason I'm losing but I'm heartbroken it hasn't worked. I just want to be desired by him.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
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    mntnwmn477 wrote: »
    I'm going through this right now. After 10 years of marriage and a couple kids things got a little too cushy with us and we packed on the pounds. Well, I didn't want to live like that, it made me deeply depressed to see how I was going downhill and so I decided to do something about it. I started exercising daily, eating better and I've seen awesome results. I've gotten in touch with who I am and who I've always wanted to be. However, my relationship has taken a downward spiral because of it. He refuses to get on board with me and doesn't even recognize my weight loss. It feels like we're living two completely different lives....like we're just roommates taking care of a couple kids. Our goals and our needs/wants are not on the same level at all. Not sure where we're going, but I've distanced myself emotionally already and it's not looking good.

    Roommates... exactly.
  • MTgal477
    MTgal477 Posts: 829 Member
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    bearbugbear wrote: »
    I really hoped losing weight would make me more attractive to my husband but it hasn't helped. He's not the only reason I'm losing but I'm heartbroken it hasn't worked. I just want to be desired by him.

    ((((((HUGS)))))) I'm in the same boat....it hurts :/ Hang in there!

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