Friends with benefits
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It's not for me that. Friends with benefits I've been there & done that when I was young so I know how it is ,im older & I'm all set with that. Girls that have sex with guys u never know what there have .. ..0
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I hold the personal belief that sex isn't a toy. Its for two people that have made an emotional and mental commitment to one another and the sex brings them together as one. Sex without the commitment is selling both parties short. And then sex is cheap. I really think that sex is far more valuable than all that. Im not saying this just out of opinion by the way. Ive been the one night stander, the playboy, the player whatever you want to call it. After every experience, i was still alone, still without someone to call my own who would be there for me when i was at my worst, and someone who i could give my heart to in an act of trantransparency and trust. Just some perspective from the male mind.
Theres no such thing as sex without emotion. Bits of your heart go to every person you sleep with. You have to ask yourself how much you want to save for that one man that youll spend the rest of your life with.
Its counter cultural and hard to do when a person is lonely, but hit the brakes and really think about the future implications and not just the present benefits. I wish i did.8 -
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Anyone who says no to FWB is wrong.
Anyone who says yes to FWB is right.
People are having very strong negative reactions saying it only works for narcissists. Or saying if they never did it they are a class act. Etc. But, I know a lot of people that say it works for them. I'm sure it can have mixed outcomes depending on the circumstances.0 -
FWB is never a good idea from my experience1
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zanejmoore91 wrote: »I hold the personal belief that sex isn't a toy. Its for two people that have made an emotional and mental commitment to one another and the sex brings them together as one. Sex without the commitment is selling both parties short. And then sex is cheap. I really think that sex is far more valuable than all that. Im not saying this just out of opinion by the way. Ive been the one night stander, the playboy, the player whatever you want to call it. After every experience, i was still alone, still without someone to call my own who would be there for me when i was at my worst, and someone who i could give my heart to in an act of trantransparency and trust. Just some perspective from the male mind.
Theres no such thing as sex without emotion. Bits of your heart go to every person you sleep with. You have to ask yourself how much you want to save for that one man that youll spend the rest of your life with.
Its counter cultural and hard to do when a person is lonely, but hit the brakes and really think about the future implications and not just the present benefits. I wish i did.
Nah, that is still your opinion, whether you say it is or isn't. You personally attach meaning to sex, and that's okay. But those that do not, are not any less valuable.
Women are brought up to believe that once they have sex, they are "cheapened" because they are not pure. I would argue that this is the underlying tone to your statement, and it's a very dangerous one. There is absolutely nothing wrong with holding a high standard to sex if that's your personal choice. Others do not view it this way, and to say that there will be "future implications" furthers the idea that a male will not value a female if she was sexual, despite the fact that it's no one's business beyond stds.
I'm sorry you felt empty after each sexual encounter, but it does not mean every individual will.
Edited for a typo.3 -
Friends with benefits it's a danger zone cause u never know what guys have these days I'm just saying my point of view . If u found a guy that's good to u has a good heart that treat u than u should stick with one guy only .0
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I have an uncle who says, benefits yes...friends no. Friendship is a relationship that requires a certain amount of caring and complicates things. I kind of see his point. So I'd say that if you are looking for someone to just hook up with make sure they know not to bring a tooth brush bc they aren't staying that long. Don't pretend to care if you don't and you are golden. Define the relationship and then you both know what to expect, if things change you can always revise the situation later.0
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I've been in a couple of FWB situations. The first one happened to be the younger brother of a man who dumped me and he was my shoulder to cry on and we started hanging out quite a bit and one thing lead to another...neither one of us regrets it and we still talk when we see each other and it isn't awkward. I have no idea if the older brother ever found out about me and the younger brother, but whatevs...
I'm currently in a sorta FWB situation now. Earlier this spring I was going through a rough patch with my boyfriend of 2 years and one night while I was out drinking I texted my ex-bf and ended up spending the night at his house. Well...we would see each other every few weekends for a night of drinking and amazing sex!! This man is the best lover I've ever had. I've since broken up with the boyfriend, but I'm still waiting for him to move his dumb *kitten* out of my house!! I am still seeing the FWB (previous ex-bf) and have admitted to myself that I am still in love with him and do want more than FWB but am happy right now with the current situation because it's not like I can start another relationship while the dumb *kitten* is still living in my house. So...yes...it's complicated for me, but I'm happy with the FWB...cuz like I said...he's the best piece of *kitten* I've ever had. Anyway...not sure if this helps or not, but from a women's point of view, I see nothing wrong with FWB if you are ok with it not turning into a relationship.3 -
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Scientifically speaking, women typically have more problems with a FWB situation than men for various reasons: Societal expectations, hormonal reactions to intimacy and the like. However, I see nothing wrong with it at all because not every man is meant for every woman and not every woman is meant for every man so why not experience what's out there and have someone safe and useful on the side until you find what you're looking for. If both parties are mature and have a complete understanding of the situation, then there shouldn't be any problems. The problem will likely come when one party or the other is cut off because they've found someone they connect with. I say, go for it, have fun and cut it off if it gets complicated.3
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Do whatever u feel like.. Anything that gives you pleasure and strength to fight this difficult time, till the time u aren't doing drugs.. All's well
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I think it really depends on what you mean by "friend"...like is this a good friend that you hope to hold as a friend or is this just someone you know maybe through the running in the same circles, etc but you don't really have a true friendship necessarily.
If it's the latter then whatever...I've had a few of those and everything worked out fine for the duration of the time we chose to have benefits and then we just parted ways and no biggie. In my experience, this is about 2-3 months worth of gettin' it on and then poof...
If it's truly a friend then I would proceed with caution. I ended up having this kind of FWB thing with a really good friend of mine...we were actually completely platonic for years (even though there was always some attraction there) until one night a hookup happened at a party. Had it stopped there everything would have probably been ok, but we liked it...it was fun...so it kept happening even though we were both still seeing and dating other people.
Eventually (and it didn't take that long) this ultimately altered our existing relationship substantially even though we said and were determined that it never would. We started being jealous of one another and doing the kind of things jealousy tends to bring out...late night calls questioning where she/I was...who were you with...why didn't you text back sooner...WTF I thought we were going to hang out Thursday night and now you're going on a date, etc?
In a nutshell, we both lost a very good friend in each other...we were like opposite sex besties before that and fu$&ing around completely destroyed that...so I guess it just depends on what you're ultimately willing to lose.4 -
sex sex sex sex sex do it!2
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Dates with weights. Weights before dates. They'll never turn you down0
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I can't do FWB. I get too into my feels. But I like the idea. I'm an all or nothing kind of gal. I can't even date around properly lol2
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It is if that friend drives a BMW0
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BellaCosta17 wrote: »That's ok.. No worries
oh.... I worry, I damn sure do.1 -
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