Friends with benefits
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Some people can do the FWB thing and some can't. Unfortunately, for some like me, you won't know until you try. It all sounds great in writing, but the reality unfortunately doesn't always match expectations. I am one who through experience, knows that it's just not for me. It either makes me feel like crap about myself and reminds of what I don't have, a relationship, or like with 1 in particular, I caught feelings and had to end it. He was truly a friend, that I had to walk away from. If you really like this guy as a friend, imagine having to walk away from the friendship if the FWB thing goes sour, and imagine how that would make you feel. Only you can make the decision to go through with it or not. It may work out great, it may break your heart. Is it worth it? You need to decide that.0
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A very wise person in my life told me you can't be just friends with someone you have sex with...or at least won't be friends once the sex stops. Granted I'm from an older generation and so was she, but I don't really see it as a generation thing and more so a morals and self worth question. Good luck whatever you decide though . Live you life as you see fit but also try your best to live it with no regrets.0
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so far the only benefit to being a friend with me is you have access to a perverted mind, a mind that can recall 80s lyrics, and pretty much most memories from K-12th grade with ease
oh and constant sarcasm1 -
so? if FWB doesnt work for some of you, how about a hot booty call person? wont that satisfy the urges, without complicating a friendship?0
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drbuzzard91 wrote: »forgive my bluntness but just get dickked out lol go to friggin work on it girl! have amazing sex , mess with a few guys until you are ready to give it another go. No one should feel guilty about having great sex especially after a relatioship ended and you dont want one for a while. Girls especially shouldn't feel bad because of the whole double standards thing.
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dannijordan30 wrote: »It can work. I have a super hot friend. We are attracted to each other but don't want a relationship. Hook up now and then.worked..so far
i am pretty sure we agreed on this being a discreet FWB situation
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If you really like this guy, dont do it. I have had some great FWB situations in my life, but only when it was someone that I knew I wouldnt be romantically compatible with long term. A couple of years ago I got out of a highly unsatisfying relationship and knew I wanted to take some time and have fun without commitments. I met two great people on the same night a few weeks later, one was someone who I connected with emotionally immediately (an exceptional human being, really) and the other was pure sex, like un-apologetically dtf. I became really close friends with the first, and spent two months "talking to" the latter. I knew I wasnt ready for what the first had to offer, and fortunately they were super understanding about that.
We've actually been together for 2 years now, I'm not even a little sorry I waited though. I needed that free time to be single and we were able to build our foundation on a completely non-sexual friendship, and complete honesty about where we've been and where we would like to be going. If we had jumped straight into hooking up I would have lost interest or become resentful a few months in, and it would have never worked.0 -
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I once had a fwb..... or so I thought, she was out looking at china patterns and wedding cakes and I was simply enjoying the slugfest.
To say she was disappointed might have been an understatement.
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Cutaway_Collar wrote: »I'm not putting you down, I apologize if it sounded like that. My reasoning at the time was that I had doubts about said person's fidelity when I am starting to invest time into a new relationship. FWB is not always monogamous or exclusive. It's sort of like an open relationship.
I personally would have loved to have an FWB but I was never in one. Besides... I would not have wanted to get involved with a woman who has that history. I guess I was hypocritical but then most men are....
I am married now and both my wife and I were historically strict monogamists and that is great to have.
Who's the idiot women who would tell you the truth about their past. I know I wouldn't because my past is mine and you shouldn't need to know.0 -
love your response to this @drbuzzard910
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i did have an open relationship, it worked out great for her until i found out3
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Don't do it. FWB is great, but somebody inevitably ends up catching feelings.3
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For MANY reasons....DONT do it1
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I have been in and am currently in a sort of FWB thing. One woman it ended up complicated. She really wasn't a "friend" at all. She just kept me around to be a fill in between boyfriends. She would flat out disappear while with other guys, then if I was with sone one, she would try to get me to sleep with her anyway.
Another woman it went on to be a real relationship. At some point I am unsure of, the barrier dissolved and it became more. It didn't work out in the long run, but it was a great time.
The thing to keep in mind is once that line is crossed, it can never be uncrossed. Something will change, better or worse. If you both move on to new lovers, you likely will maintain a friendship beyond.0 -
It won't work over the long term. One person always cares more than the other. For one person feelings develop; for one person convenience is the attraction.
Unless both people just don't care beyond the physical, someone is going to get hurt. User and used.2 -
Ask 20 people about relationships and emotions and you'll get 30 answers. You need to think about this from your own perspective, OP. You have the right to define your own relationships in concert with your "partner" (for want of a better word here). Just be safe, honest with him (within reason), and honest with yourself. If you can't handle it then don't do it. If you can then enjoy.0
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I'm going to vote for hot booty call if someone who is not ready for a relationship. Preferably with a dealbreaker characteristic that doesn't matter for the booty calls but prevents unwanted cases of the feels.0
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I say go for it, as long as you're both unattached to anyone else.
There's nothing wrong with enjoying yourself with someone whom wants the same.
It makes life easier, gets rid of your daily stress.
Enjoy! You're single!0 -
It works really well if your narcissistic and into yourself because there is no room for falling for anyone else so you don't have to worry about getting your feelings hurt0
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I've decided its time to find me a FWB. I have my needs, don't judge me!2
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Don't over think it, just enjoy it. Sex isn't science, it's just two people making each other feel good for a wile.. And if you develope feelings you can deal with that when that happens and if that happens. Right now you should just enjoy life and be free0
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Wouldn't work for me. I don't think. Emotions get involved. But, it seems to work for others. So no judgement from me. People should live and be happy in their own way.0
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This thread reminded me of the film, "When Harry met Sally".
- Could a platonic relationship last between a man and woman attracted to each other?
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NorthCascades wrote: »
You offering? ;-)3 -
To my mind it is simple - how will you feel when he sleeps with someone else???? If you can live with that, then maybe. If you can't, then you have your answer.
Whilst I have not done FWB myself, I have seen the aftermath and it wasn't pretty.1 -
Everytime you do it,a little bunny rabbit dies you know?1
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