Who pays?
Replies
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AskTracyAnnK28 wrote: »I met a guy off of PoF years and years ago at Applebee's who tried to insist we order off the "2 for $20" part of the menu...I told him that I didn't mind paying for my lunch and he said "good because I don't have a lot of cash on me"
I still see him on Tinder...
I guess sometimes it depends on how it's communicated but generally I admire honesty like that and it's unfair for a guy to ONLY deserve a date if he can buy from an expensive menu for 2.
If a guy doesnt earn alot, he shouldnt be stripped off his right from going on a date or entering a relationship.
(Not having a go at you as I dont understand if it bothered you or not)2 -
AskTracyAnnK28 wrote: »I met a guy off of PoF years and years ago at Applebee's who tried to insist we order off the "2 for $20" part of the menu...I told him that I didn't mind paying for my lunch and he said "good because I don't have a lot of cash on me"
I still see him on Tinder...
I guess sometimes it depends on how it's communicated but generally I admire honesty like that and it's unfair for a guy to ONLY deserve a date if he can buy from an expensive menu for 2.
If a guy doesnt earn alot, he shouldnt be stripped off his right from going on a date or entering a relationship.
(Not having a go at you as I dont understand if it bothered you or not)
it was my first date as a newly single person, so I went into it not sure what the protocol was for paying, so I stopped at the ATM on the way there so I'd have enough cash to pay my own way. It was the whole "we have to order off the "2 for $20" menu thing that bothered me more. He invited me to lunch so he should have been ok with me ordering what I wanted to. Plus I'm a vegetarian and there were no vegetarian options on that part of the menu.
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If a guy doesnt earn alot, he shouldnt be stripped off his right from going on a date or entering a relationship.
Anyhow, that's what I would like. I earn my own living and always have, but I wouldn't be keen on paying my own way on a date. Unless I was the one who asked the guy out on the date, which I wouldn't do anyway.
I think a lot of women wouldn't ask a guy out. So is "whoever initiates" secret code for "he pays?" Because most of the time, he is expected to initiate?
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Assuming guy makes date he pays. Imo even if girl initiates guy still pays0
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wolverine66 wrote: »If a guy doesnt earn alot, he shouldnt be stripped off his right from going on a date or entering a relationship.
Anyhow, that's what I would like. I earn my own living and always have, but I wouldn't be keen on paying my own way on a date. Unless I was the one who asked the guy out on the date, which I wouldn't do anyway.
I think a lot of women wouldn't ask a guy out. So is "whoever initiates" secret code for "he pays?" Because most of the time, he is expected to initiate?
I've never initiated a first date
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AskTracyAnnK28 wrote: »AskTracyAnnK28 wrote: »I met a guy off of PoF years and years ago at Applebee's who tried to insist we order off the "2 for $20" part of the menu...I told him that I didn't mind paying for my lunch and he said "good because I don't have a lot of cash on me"
I still see him on Tinder...
I guess sometimes it depends on how it's communicated but generally I admire honesty like that and it's unfair for a guy to ONLY deserve a date if he can buy from an expensive menu for 2.
If a guy doesnt earn alot, he shouldnt be stripped off his right from going on a date or entering a relationship.
(Not having a go at you as I dont understand if it bothered you or not)
it was my first date as a newly single person, so I went into it not sure what the protocol was for paying, so I stopped at the ATM on the way there so I'd have enough cash to pay my own way. It was the whole "we have to order off the "2 for $20" menu thing that bothered me more. He invited me to lunch so he should have been ok with me ordering what I wanted to. Plus I'm a vegetarian and there were no vegetarian options on that part of the menu.
Okay thats annoying and inconsiderate. Good riddance!
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AskTracyAnnK28 wrote: »wolverine66 wrote: »If a guy doesnt earn alot, he shouldnt be stripped off his right from going on a date or entering a relationship.
Anyhow, that's what I would like. I earn my own living and always have, but I wouldn't be keen on paying my own way on a date. Unless I was the one who asked the guy out on the date, which I wouldn't do anyway.
I think a lot of women wouldn't ask a guy out. So is "whoever initiates" secret code for "he pays?" Because most of the time, he is expected to initiate?
I've never initiated a first date
same0 -
If a guy doesnt earn alot, he shouldnt be stripped off his right from going on a date or entering a relationship.
True. That guy, though, should take his date to a Starbucks for a coffee and pay. Then he should focus on impressing her with his courtesy, his listening skills and his conversational abilities which will go a long way towards making her like him and wanting to spend more time with him. From there, she may well be motivated to invite him to her home for lunch on the second or third date. He could bring the groceries, she could do the cooking and they both could share the clean up. The relationship could naturally progress this way and no one would feel like they're getting the short end of the stick.
Anyhow, that's what I would like. I earn my own living and always have, but I wouldn't be keen on paying my own way on a date. Unless I was the one who asked the guy out on the date, which I wouldn't do anyway.
But I gather from this thread, that some women are game for paying their own way on a date. Or maybe it's just how the outing is labeled. I pay my own way when out with friends - we all pay our share, enjoy the chat and then go our own ways. If an expectation of something more than friendship (a/k/a "sex", or at least smooching) is brewing in the background, that changes the dynamics, the protocol and the interplay imo.
wow, thats a nice way to go about it too.
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I have been asked out 1 time by a woman, and I still paid, well we both did. She made the dinner I did the beverages, and desert. So it worked out well. I do pay when I initiate, I guess its just how I was raised.1
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AskTracyAnnK28 wrote: »wolverine66 wrote: »If a guy doesnt earn alot, he shouldnt be stripped off his right from going on a date or entering a relationship.
Anyhow, that's what I would like. I earn my own living and always have, but I wouldn't be keen on paying my own way on a date. Unless I was the one who asked the guy out on the date, which I wouldn't do anyway.
I think a lot of women wouldn't ask a guy out. So is "whoever initiates" secret code for "he pays?" Because most of the time, he is expected to initiate?
I've never initiated a first date
yeah. i think i'm on to something here....0 -
For me it very much depends on how well the date is going. I go expecting to pay for my portion, if I really enjoyed the date I would either offer to pay for both or accept their offer to pay both with an "ok, but I get the next one" (to make it clear I am interested in a next date). If I know there wont be another date I will insist on paying my half and politely go my own way.0
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wolverine66 wrote: »AskTracyAnnK28 wrote: »wolverine66 wrote: »If a guy doesnt earn alot, he shouldnt be stripped off his right from going on a date or entering a relationship.
Anyhow, that's what I would like. I earn my own living and always have, but I wouldn't be keen on paying my own way on a date. Unless I was the one who asked the guy out on the date, which I wouldn't do anyway.
I think a lot of women wouldn't ask a guy out. So is "whoever initiates" secret code for "he pays?" Because most of the time, he is expected to initiate?
I've never initiated a first date
yeah. i think i'm on to something here....
But in the age of internet dating, it makes first dates a little different. Back in the day I'm out somewhere and meet a guy and he calls me and asks me on a date then there's no way I'd ever offer to pay. But if it's a blind date kinda thing I usually go into it expecting that I might be paying for myself.
If I'm not interested in a guy at all - like, at all - then I'd insist on paying because I don't want him thinking that I owe him anything.1 -
I'd pick up the tab on a date, no problem, just like I pick up the lunch tab for friends from time to time. I like doing nice things for other people.1
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AskTracyAnnK28 wrote: »wolverine66 wrote: »AskTracyAnnK28 wrote: »wolverine66 wrote: »If a guy doesnt earn alot, he shouldnt be stripped off his right from going on a date or entering a relationship.
Anyhow, that's what I would like. I earn my own living and always have, but I wouldn't be keen on paying my own way on a date. Unless I was the one who asked the guy out on the date, which I wouldn't do anyway.
I think a lot of women wouldn't ask a guy out. So is "whoever initiates" secret code for "he pays?" Because most of the time, he is expected to initiate?
I've never initiated a first date
yeah. i think i'm on to something here....
But in the age of internet dating, it makes first dates a little different. Back in the day I'm out somewhere and meet a guy and he calls me and asks me on a date then there's no way I'd ever offer to pay. But if it's a blind date kinda thing I usually go into it expecting that I might be paying for myself.
If I'm not interested in a guy at all - like, at all - then I'd insist on paying because I don't want him thinking that I owe him anything.
I dated in the age of Internet dating, thankfully. I'm sure it can be all sorts of confusing for both parties. Like I said before, there are people who get offended if you want to pay and there are people who get offended if you want to go Dutch. And a myriad in between.
And, seriously, screw anyone who thinks buying a steak entitles him to anything sexual.
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I wouldn't go to a restaurant on a first date. I would plan a picnic deep in the woods, where nobody is so we can be alone. I would also probably bring my knife collection, because I think it would make a good ice breaker.... oh wait....
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wolverine66 wrote: »AskTracyAnnK28 wrote: »wolverine66 wrote: »If a guy doesnt earn alot, he shouldnt be stripped off his right from going on a date or entering a relationship.
Anyhow, that's what I would like. I earn my own living and always have, but I wouldn't be keen on paying my own way on a date. Unless I was the one who asked the guy out on the date, which I wouldn't do anyway.
I think a lot of women wouldn't ask a guy out. So is "whoever initiates" secret code for "he pays?" Because most of the time, he is expected to initiate?
I've never initiated a first date
yeah. i think i'm on to something here....
I have, more than once. One of them I am married to. FWIW, I also proposed to him. He is the most amazing loving, kindest, supportive and smartest man I could have wished for. He just sometimes has trouble making decisions and being forward. So that role is mine
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dutchandkiwi wrote: »wolverine66 wrote: »AskTracyAnnK28 wrote: »wolverine66 wrote: »If a guy doesnt earn alot, he shouldnt be stripped off his right from going on a date or entering a relationship.
Anyhow, that's what I would like. I earn my own living and always have, but I wouldn't be keen on paying my own way on a date. Unless I was the one who asked the guy out on the date, which I wouldn't do anyway.
I think a lot of women wouldn't ask a guy out. So is "whoever initiates" secret code for "he pays?" Because most of the time, he is expected to initiate?
I've never initiated a first date
yeah. i think i'm on to something here....
I have, more than once. One of them I am married to. FWIW, I also proposed to him. He is the most amazing loving, kindest, supportive and smartest man I could have wished for. He just sometimes has trouble making decisions and being forward. So that role is mine
you (and others) are the reason I didn't say "all." Nice going. I am happy things worked out for you. 0 -
Whoever did the inviting.0
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You're in nj . You just callAskTracyAnnK28 wrote: »wolverine66 wrote: »AskTracyAnnK28 wrote: »wolverine66 wrote: »If a guy doesnt earn alot, he shouldnt be stripped off his right from going on a date or entering a relationship.
Anyhow, that's what I would like. I earn my own living and always have, but I wouldn't be keen on paying my own way on a date. Unless I was the one who asked the guy out on the date, which I wouldn't do anyway.
I think a lot of women wouldn't ask a guy out. So is "whoever initiates" secret code for "he pays?" Because most of the time, he is expected to initiate?
I've never initiated a first date
yeah. i think i'm on to something here....
But in the age of internet dating, it makes first dates a little different. Back in the day I'm out somewhere and meet a guy and he calls me and asks me on a date then there's no way I'd ever offer to pay. But if it's a blind date kinda thing I usually go into it expecting that I might be paying for myself.
If I'm not interested in a guy at all - like, at all - then I'd insist on paying because I don't want him thinking that I owe him anything.
Someone to kick his butt if he expects something because he paid for a Meal. I was in OC for 8 days we shoulda got dinner lol.
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You're in nj . You just callAskTracyAnnK28 wrote: »wolverine66 wrote: »AskTracyAnnK28 wrote: »wolverine66 wrote: »If a guy doesnt earn alot, he shouldnt be stripped off his right from going on a date or entering a relationship.
Anyhow, that's what I would like. I earn my own living and always have, but I wouldn't be keen on paying my own way on a date. Unless I was the one who asked the guy out on the date, which I wouldn't do anyway.
I think a lot of women wouldn't ask a guy out. So is "whoever initiates" secret code for "he pays?" Because most of the time, he is expected to initiate?
I've never initiated a first date
yeah. i think i'm on to something here....
But in the age of internet dating, it makes first dates a little different. Back in the day I'm out somewhere and meet a guy and he calls me and asks me on a date then there's no way I'd ever offer to pay. But if it's a blind date kinda thing I usually go into it expecting that I might be paying for myself.
If I'm not interested in a guy at all - like, at all - then I'd insist on paying because I don't want him thinking that I owe him anything.
Someone to kick his butt if he expects something because he paid for a Meal. I was in OC for 8 days we shoulda got dinner lol.
OC is 3 hours away from me lololol
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Nay sayer lol0
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wolverine66 wrote: »And, seriously, screw anyone who thinks buying a steak entitles him to anything sexual.
This sounds like good advice, but who do vegetarians get to screw?
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NorthCascades wrote: »wolverine66 wrote: »And, seriously, screw anyone who thinks buying a steak entitles him to anything sexual.
This sounds like good advice, but who do vegetarians get to screw?
hmm. yeah. that was really poor phrasing on my part.
therefore, i volunteer myself, because that's the kind of guy i am.0 -
Louise1491 wrote: »I think it's wrong to expect a man to pay, you want all the equal rights, be prepared to live by it, otherwise get in that kitchen and make him a Damn sammich.
OP I recommend you perhaps eat light or not atall if you feel he's the insistent type.
Not all women believe in the 3rd wave feminism cancer. I know some of these women who legit believe the man should pay because he makes more money, has to pay less for the same products...you know all the buzz word stuff.
They also believe women should be exempt from the draft. So they don't actually believe in equal rights.
I think the man should pay. Believe it or not it says a lot about him... My love language is not gifts...so its not about that. I just want a gentleman/a real man who isn't cheap AF.0
This discussion has been closed.
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