Other people's reactions to your weight loss or diet
Replies
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Most people actually don't seem to care. Especially when they're trying and not seeing success. Some actually seem mad that I talk about it instead of being happy for me.
I've mostly stopped talking about it, because of that.10 -
Yesterday someone made a comment, but I didn't really liked it. She was screaming at me ohhh you lost at least 25kg, I've lost 15kg but ok. After she said I look soo fantastic and beautiful.
I guess I should feel happy when someone tells me I look amazing, but I feel like oh so before I looked terrible? I don't know I prefer people don't say antything about my weight loss.3 -
estherjellybabe wrote: »
The saddest part about losing weight is that I am finding that people are consistently nicer to me now compared to before. It's a subtle, wordless thing; and they probably don't even notice it themselves. It truly shows how people can't help but judge someone just on their appearance.
I agree, I find people are nicer to me now and strangers say hello and make more eye contact BUT I also find that I am more confident and happier now and I put out more effort to do my hair and makeup and look nicer, have a happier attitude overall, hold my head up when walking down the street and make eye contact with people before they say hello (where in the past I would dart my eyes away from them and ignore them).
I think for me, people treating me better is a direct result of me treating myself better and being more confident.22 -
I've had relatively few comments on my 100 lb weight loss over the past year. But I simply believe that the people in my life are polite! I also had, thankfully, very few comments on my rather precipitous weight GAIN the year before! (My husband had a bad stroke and the anxiety took its toll.) Either way, it's MY journey and MY body - I'm grateful that most people in my life keep their opinions about my physical shape to themselves.14
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I am 5'5'' and 143lbs and I've been like this off and on for about 14 years. I'm 30. Any time I lose weight people tell me I look sick. Any time I talk about losing weight and getting in shape people like to tell me how great I look and don't need to lose anything.
It's really discouraging either way because I'm not comfortable with myself. Having cellulite/flabby tummy and arms has stayed with me more on than off because of these comments. I'm trying hard again and have gotten my boyfriend to be firm and supportive when I try to make excuses. 
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Chef_Barbell wrote: »Most people have been really supportive and I have this one man at a club I belong to make such a big deal the other day it was actually embarrassing as he would not stop, He is not a close friend and he continued to make a big deal after I had thanked him for noticing. Anyone else have anything like this happen and how can you handle it as I felt he was actually making a bit of a scene at the club.
I would fart really loudly. But I'm pretty uncouth. :laugh:
Best. Response. Ever! My hubby and I cracked up at that.
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I've had people react to the fact that I'm cutting calories like they think I have an eating disorder...and I'm like, "yeah...I've been a compulsive snacker with almost no restraint for years, and my BMI was pushing from overweight into obesity territory. I think I'll be okay if I cut back for a while." It's frustrating that so few are actually happy for you when you get motivated to make a positive change in your life and get healthy.11
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(Coworker) "wow you look like you've lost weight! What? Down 15 or so?"
(Me) "thanks, I'm down 65"
Coworker choked on her coffee59 -
I keep trying to tell my mother in law that I'm not on a 'diet' this is a lifestyle change that I plan to keep doing. When she cooks for us, she would say ' eat this, you can continue your diet tomorrow' and I'm like ' it's not a diet and I can fit this into my lifestyle' haha and she told me that she thinks I eat too little and I said don't worry I never let myself go hungry and I've got plenty of energy9
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15 pounds in, no one has noticed so far - I'm so excited for someone to say something lol11
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KatyBell164 wrote: »15 pounds in, no one has noticed so far - I'm so excited for someone to say something lol
Just from your picture that you have as a default i can see a major difference. Keep up the good work!
Ive had a few customers at work look at me and ask me if ive lost weight and that my face looks a lot thinner. Its the first thing to go. Id rather have my stomach gone!6 -
I remember years ago when I first lost weight. I was 24 and lost about 85 pounds. I was a healthy size 6, 5'5, 135 pounds. I worked at a pediatrician's office and rumors started circulating that I had CANCER!! I had patients hug me and tell me they were praying for me
I finally set them all straight and then they all started asking me to tell them how they could do it too!! I managed to keep the weight off for 10 years, then had two kids and gained a bunch of weight. I decided when I turned 39 that I would try to get back to 135 by my 40th birthday. I was living in a new town where everyone knew me as "heavy", so when I lost all that weight people were really positive about it, but I am sure people talked as well. 15 -
I've lost 170 Lbs (I have 93 left to go). Most people have been supportive and let me know that they have seen how much weight I've lost. I have an aunt who had a weird reaction and said she would pray for me to lose the rest of the weight. I'm sure she meant it in the best possible way but to my way of thinking that denotes that she doesn't think I will finish my journey. I've also had people not to lose too much. (Other family member) I just scoffed at that one when I have this much still to lose.7
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I ran into a former co-worker who had not seen me while I was losing weight, she looked me up and down. Then sat down beside me and said, "You're not sick are you?" I told her that I was fine. But what I should have said was, "Yes, sick of being fat!"
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tinamarie6624 wrote: »I've lost 170 Lbs (I have 93 left to go). Most people have been supportive and let me know that they have seen how much weight I've lost. I have an aunt who had a weird reaction and said she would pray for me to lose the rest of the weight. I'm sure she meant it in the best possible way but to my way of thinking that denotes that she doesn't think I will finish my journey. I've also had people not to lose too much. (Other family member) I just scoffed at that one when I have this much still to lose.
Maybe she prayed for you because she has some understanding of how hard it can be to keep on track. Sweet aunt!9 -
I just think it's bizarre who even notices. I've lost weight a few times before and it only seems to be coworkers or casual acquaintances that throw you a compliment. I know it's harder for people you see everyday to notice it, but still, after a certain point, it's like "hello! something different about me?!" The most weight I lost before wasn't intentional, it was due to stress, and I was actually just barely underweight. Nobody said anything while I was shrinking except a distant relative.2
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The worst comment I've got:
Keep ur old clothes cause u never know what happens...:(
And people just don't get that you can eat anything you want but not tons of it ( as long as it fits in ur daily allowance) , so when i go out and eat a couple slices of pizza their jaw drops8 -
I had a co worker keep glancing at me the other day and then asked if I had been on a vacation....LOL I could see in her eyes she was trying to figure out what was different but couldn't quite figure it out.11
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I think it's a combination of factors closeness and gender being important.
Spent the weekend with my in-laws, I've lost about 30lb he's lost about 35lb, they go on and on about his loss, whereas I get a 'you're looking well'. Neither has comented on how we're eating, but being closer to him they comment.
In contrast one of my great friends (male) whom I eat with noticed, and eventually when I brought up MFP he gushed about how well I was doing but said he didn't want to say anything to make it awkward (and therefore have to avoid each other forever). A female colleage also said something (no prompting) and I panicked and told her how much I lost, so we both looked stunned until the standard response came up:
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I went to my chiropractor last night and when I walked in he was talking to his previous appointment about the "blood type diet." Pretty sure I rolled my eyes out loud. Then he began to ask me about my powerlifting, and he about lost his kitten when I told him I was currently on 50% carbs. He seriously asked me "What's the science behind that?" I thought, "You've got to be kidding me?!? You were just advocating the blood type diet to someone, and you want to know the 'science' behind mine?!?"
He's a really nice guy and a terrific chiropractor, but I won't be taking diet advice from him anytime soon.
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I wish people would just go away. More negativity than I ever expected.
"You look beautiful, you don't need to lose anymore weight!" The goal isn't to be beautiful, I was beautiful when I was fat thank you very much....my goal is to be strong as *kitten*.
"Do you even eat?" Ummm...I eat like 8 times a day.... 2000cals, over 200g carbs.... trust me I got this.
"You spend too much time in the gym... you're obsessed, its not healthy" I'm disciplined... not obsessed.
"What's your secret? It's so easy for you! I can't lose weight now matter how hard I try!" Ummmm...... no secrets. It wasn't easy. It's hard, but I'm driven to work. You "can't" lose weight because you don't work hard enough. Simple as that.
Any of you post about the gym on facebook and watch your friends list decline like crazy? This makes me giggle. One day I lost 10 friends after posting a gym selfie....... HAHA. Bye felicia.18 -
I've been asked "my secret" several times. Most people are not happy when they find out the secret is counting calories. I had one guy ask me over and over what I gave up. I told him I eat whatever I want as long as I stay under my calorie goal. "No, really. What did you give up? Sweets, fats?" I don't think he ever believed me. Others have just said "oh" and looked so disappointed. I had one friend who signed up for mfp and after about a week decided that logging food was too much so she just got a fitbit. Maybe that will work for her, but if she doesn't get her eating under control I don't think she'll get any where. I have another friend who wanted me to give her some sample meal plans and tell her which foods to eat. I have enough trouble figuring out what I'm going to have for dinner, I don't want to meal plan for others. Especially when I already told her she could eat whatever she wanted just fit it into her calorie goal.
The worst thing anyone has said was "Don't lose anymore weight. You looked better with your weight on. You know some people just look better heavier." Most of the comments I get have been positive, but that one really hurt my feelings. I do get a few "don't lose any more weight" comments, and they annoy me. But for the most part I really think they are just saying that I look good now and don't need to lose any more. It mostly frustrates me because I am an adult and I know how much I weigh and how much I should weigh so I don't need them telling me what to do. I have dropped below my original goal, but I have not been trying to. It has just been harder for me to figure out my maintenance calories than I thought it would be. So it frustrates me even more now when people tell me not to lose anymore when I am trying not to lose. Especially since I was already told once that I look worse now than I did before. Most people tell me I look great. It is kind of funny how one negative comment can cancel out several positive comments.10 -
A lot of people have written the "don't lose any more weight" response.
It's amazing (and unfortunate), isn't it, what has become normal now in our culture regarding weight?
I couldn't help but notice this on my commute home yesterday (through several train stations through a major east coast city). Hardly anyone was thin. I'm 5' 1/2" and about 120 and could probably lose 10-15 more lbs. I bet people would tell me not to lose any more. I mentioned working on losing weight to a friend recently, and she said "From where?" in all seriousness. I have a little belly. It's little, but it's still there. And it's not really supposed to be there ... It's not good for you ...4 -
I found this whole dynamic interesting. My family and closest friends, those who I thought would support me the most, were the ones who made little to no comments. In the beginning it was understandable because it was only a slight change, but as it became obvious, the people who would comment would be those who I see on a week- to- week basis. My baristas, people at church, etc. My grandmother was the only one who really encouraged me. My aunt showed concern, continuously making sure I was losing weight right- but never commenting that I look good. It was disappointing. It was nice gaining encouragement from others, but I would have liked to receive compliments and encouragement from those closest to me.6
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My body transformation has been quite important and unless you're blind, you would totally notice.
As a matter of fact, people barely recognise me if they haven't seen me in more than six months. Although my weight loss has been gradual, it became very visible after 6 / 7 months as I don't have any cheek left, and I do look like a "thin man". It is quite weird when people fail to recognise you and I mean people you've known for years and that's what is making them a bit uncomfortable for most of them.
I've heard many times:
" If it wasn't for your eyes, I wouldn't know it's you".
" If it wasn't for you voice, I wouldn't know it's you'.
Overhearing: "It's funny, he looks like kitkatlp" (That's me!)
Like that colleague of mine who's very skinny and keeps commenting "you can definitely take that slice of pizza" "you have to stop losing weight", "you can have some cake", etc.
What is a bit annoying is people that for some reason feel the right to say "that's enough now, you should stop". Well, that's interesting that they didn't say anything when I was so much overweight for years...which was far unhealthier.
But the most annoying one is people trying to "scare" me: "have you had a blood test?" "are you sure everything's fine" "aren't you concerned about you health".
That is so irrational. Even my wife is asking me "you should see your doctor just to make sure everything's fine".
Why on earth would I go to the doctor when I'm feeling so much better now with 50kg / 110lbs down?
But the worst part, why do they care NOW when I'm so much healthier and they actually didn't say a word when I had reached a BMI of 40 (morbidly obese).
Btw, now I run 15K like it's a normal run for me, I swim / run / cycle / lift weights everyday. No sleep apnea, no asthma, no stomach pains, no heartburns, no sickness, no flu, etc. (knock on wood) which were all daily inconveniences for me before.
So, now they care about me going to the doctor because they cannot deal with my weight loss? I'm sorry but I'm not going to repeat again that I've embarked upon this journey to make it a change of lifestyle, in the healthiest manner possible, etc.
And yes, let's face it. It's quite hypocritical from them to feel free to speak up about me going to the doctor and they kept their mouth shut so many years whereas I was definitely putting my life at risk.
They may do it out of kindness. I'll give them the benefit of the doubt. But at some point, they'll have to understand that it is a bit annoying.21 -
My body transformation has been quite important and unless you're blind, you would totally notice.
As a matter of fact, people barely recognise me if they haven't seen me in more than six months. Although my weight loss has been gradual, it became very visible after 6 / 7 months as I don't have any cheek left, and I do look like a "thin man". It is quite weird when people fail to recognise you and I mean people you've known for years and that's what is making them a bit uncomfortable for most of them.
I've heard many times:
" If it wasn't for your eyes, I wouldn't know it's you".
" If it wasn't for you voice, I wouldn't know it's you'.
Overhearing: "It's funny, he looks like kitkatlp" (That's me!)
Like that colleague of mine who's very skinny and keeps commenting "you can definitely take that slice of pizza" "you have to stop losing weight", "you can have some cake", etc.
What is a bit annoying is people that for some reason feel the right to say "that's enough now, you should stop". Well, that's interesting that they didn't say anything when I was so much overweight for years...which was far unhealthier.
But the most annoying one is people trying to "scare" me: "have you had a blood test?" "are you sure everything's fine" "aren't you concerned about you health".
That is so irrational. Even my wife is asking me "you should see your doctor just to make sure everything's fine".
Why on earth would I go to the doctor when I'm feeling so much better now with 50kg / 110lbs down?
But the worst part, why do they care NOW when I'm so much healthier and they actually didn't say a word when I had reached a BMI of 40 (morbidly obese).
Btw, now I run 15K like it's a normal run for me, I swim / run / cycle / lift weights everyday. No sleep apnea, no asthma, no stomach pains, no heartburns, no sickness, no flu, etc. (knock on wood) which were all daily inconveniences for me before.
So, now they care about me going to the doctor because they cannot deal with my weight loss? I'm sorry but I'm not going to repeat again that I've embarked upon this journey to make it a change of lifestyle, in the healthiest manner possible, etc.
And yes, let's face it. It's quite hypocritical from them to feel free to speak up about me going to the doctor and they kept their mouth shut so many years whereas I was definitely putting my life at risk.
They may do it out of kindness. I'll give them the benefit of the doubt. But at some point, they'll have to understand that it is a bit annoying.
The bolded is what annoys me the most. Most people won't tell you you are getting too heavy because it is rude. I don't know why they don't realize that telling you you are losing too much is just as rude.3 -
My body transformation has been quite important and unless you're blind, you would totally notice.
As a matter of fact, people barely recognise me if they haven't seen me in more than six months. Although my weight loss has been gradual, it became very visible after 6 / 7 months as I don't have any cheek left, and I do look like a "thin man". It is quite weird when people fail to recognise you and I mean people you've known for years and that's what is making them a bit uncomfortable for most of them.
I've heard many times:
" If it wasn't for your eyes, I wouldn't know it's you".
" If it wasn't for you voice, I wouldn't know it's you'.
Overhearing: "It's funny, he looks like kitkatlp" (That's me!)
Like that colleague of mine who's very skinny and keeps commenting "you can definitely take that slice of pizza" "you have to stop losing weight", "you can have some cake", etc.
What is a bit annoying is people that for some reason feel the right to say "that's enough now, you should stop". Well, that's interesting that they didn't say anything when I was so much overweight for years...which was far unhealthier.
But the most annoying one is people trying to "scare" me: "have you had a blood test?" "are you sure everything's fine" "aren't you concerned about you health".
That is so irrational. Even my wife is asking me "you should see your doctor just to make sure everything's fine".
Why on earth would I go to the doctor when I'm feeling so much better now with 50kg / 110lbs down?
But the worst part, why do they care NOW when I'm so much healthier and they actually didn't say a word when I had reached a BMI of 40 (morbidly obese).
Btw, now I run 15K like it's a normal run for me, I swim / run / cycle / lift weights everyday. No sleep apnea, no asthma, no stomach pains, no heartburns, no sickness, no flu, etc. (knock on wood) which were all daily inconveniences for me before.
So, now they care about me going to the doctor because they cannot deal with my weight loss? I'm sorry but I'm not going to repeat again that I've embarked upon this journey to make it a change of lifestyle, in the healthiest manner possible, etc.
And yes, let's face it. It's quite hypocritical from them to feel free to speak up about me going to the doctor and they kept their mouth shut so many years whereas I was definitely putting my life at risk.
They may do it out of kindness. I'll give them the benefit of the doubt. But at some point, they'll have to understand that it is a bit annoying.
The bolded is what annoys me the most. Most people won't tell you you are getting too heavy because it is rude. I don't know why they don't realize that telling you you are losing too much is just as rude.
I've been thinking about this for a while, and it relates to these posts. I'm 5' 1/2" and was in the 230s; I gained over 100 lbs quickly, and no one said anything. I went from running everyday to doing nothing over a few months in my early 30's. And I stayed that weight for over 10 yrs. I can now say that instead of being an alcoholic, I used food. I mean ... now, looking at it, it was classic symptoms of depression. Even my doctor never said anything about it let alone asked me what I now realize are obvious sorts of questions you could ask to assess my mental health. I'm not sure what happened that had me try to lose weight, and the more I lost the better I felt and then the more I'd try to lose. But, at some point I could tell something was off and got an appt with a psychologist and psychiatrist for meds. I should have been on meds years ago! I was sick for over a decade with something that is treatable -- and now I think: how on earth could anyone else not see? Not care enough to ask? No one thought anything was off and offered to go to a dr appt with me? These thoughts sort of stop my in my tracks ... And, btw, now that I've lost over 100 lbs, no one says anything either. I seriously need new people!
I17 -
I'm 5'8". I started at 200-205 pounds and am currently down to 158. Goal weight is 155; 150 is a 'would like to get there' goal.
Immediate family and friends was and are pretty supportive.
Folks at work, however, thought 170 was a good stopping point and I got the "You don't need to lose anymore weight comments." Told them I had too much belly fat to lose.
On the other hand, yesterday I was asked if I'm close to my goal weight. Actually, what she said was, "You HAVE to be close to your goal weight by now." And then she scritched my back.
The buff guy who just got back from a deployment and is carrying about 20-30 extra pounds is jealous and keeps calling me "Mr. Skinny." I just come back with, "Getting there!"
But on the gripping hand there's two folks at work who've joined MFP and started their own diets and cited me an inspiration.
So, overall, the experience has been positive.8 -
I found this whole dynamic interesting. My family and closest friends, those who I thought would support me the most, were the ones who made little to no comments. In the beginning it was understandable because it was only a slight change, but as it became obvious, the people who would comment would be those who I see on a week- to- week basis. My baristas, people at church, etc. My grandmother was the only one who really encouraged me. My aunt showed concern, continuously making sure I was losing weight right- but never commenting that I look good. It was disappointing. It was nice gaining encouragement from others, but I would have liked to receive compliments and encouragement from those closest to me.
Exactly. Glad for this reason MFP community exists. I remember a while ago my mom asked how much weight I wanted to lose. I said probably 20 lbs. She said that sounds like too much. I said I was 20 lbs less than that before and nobody noticed! She just looked at me befuddled. The kudos always comes from people I least expect and am not that close with.2 -
I've been asked "my secret" several times. Most people are not happy when they find out the secret is counting calories. I had one guy ask me over and over what I gave up. I told him I eat whatever I want as long as I stay under my calorie goal. "No, really. What did you give up? Sweets, fats?" I don't think he ever believed me.
I think I've only been asked the "what did you give up?" question once. I said "large portions". 24
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