Weird gender attraction question

Francl27
Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
Can't believe I'm posting this, but heck.

First let's start by saying that I've very rarely been physically attracted by someone. I'm not a very sexual person and I need to be emotionally involved to even consider getting there, and even when I like someone, having sex is typically not the first thing in my mind (I guess I'm weird. Dunno).

The thing though is that I've met a couple women in my life that I found very attractive... which isn't much, but I can't say I've felt that way about more than a couple men either. Does it mean I'm bi? I mean, I've never even considered having sex with them but frankly there's really one man I can think of that I haven't been with and actually felt physical desire for so... I'm not sure it really means anything. I'd say that 95% of men and women, even if I find them beautiful/handsome, just don't make me feel any attraction whatsoever.

Thoughts? Is it normal?
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Replies

  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    Hornsby wrote: »
    If you can't get it wet, get it muddy.

    isn't OP female?
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    Hornsby wrote: »
    If you can't get it wet, get it muddy.

    isn't OP female?

    Lol yeah...
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    Hornsby wrote: »
    Hornsby wrote: »
    If you can't get it wet, get it muddy.

    isn't OP female?

    Indeed, but lesbihonest, I was just playin'

    :laugh:

    its a beautiful turn of phrase... something i'd expect my husband to come out with
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  • cee134
    cee134 Posts: 33,711 Member
    OP, nothing is wrong with you. If you feel an attraction to someone, for any reason, than it is normal.
  • Treece68
    Treece68 Posts: 780 Member
    If you feel attracted to both sexes then you have a larger pool to choose from. :wink:
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    edited September 2016
    I think you are just emotionally attracted - as in, you could really love them as a friend.

    Our society has corrupted people's minds into thinking if you are connected to someone that connection must be sexual.

    The Greeks had lost of names for love, which described many different kinds, and only one of them, eros, was sexual. There was brotherly love, friendship love (which you may be experiencing), paternal love and the general goodness/kindness for humanity, agape. There are more, but I can't remember them off hand.

    You said your emotions are connected to your ability to be physically attracted. I would say that your physical attraction is a "fantom symptom" of your emotional connection, that if ignored, would go away, while the friendship aspect could flourish.

    You should look up lesbian bed death. Even women who really are attracted to women don't stay physically attracted, and just stop having sex.

    So why bother starting, and getting yourself confused about your identity over something that is not real?

    Err what? It's 2016. Open up. Don't believe all the anti gay stuff you read.

    I wasn't talking about anyone specific, to specify. Hasn't really happened to me in years.
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  • I think you are just emotionally attracted - as in, you could really love them as a friend.

    Our society has corrupted people's minds into thinking if you are connected to someone that connection must be sexual.

    The Greeks had lost of names for love, which described many different kinds, and only one of them, eros, was sexual. There was brotherly love, friendship love (which you may be experiencing), paternal love and the general goodness/kindness for humanity, agape. There are more, but I can't remember them off hand.

    You said your emotions are connected to your ability to be physically attracted. I would say that your physical attraction is a "fantom symptom" of your emotional connection, that if ignored, would go away, while the friendship aspect could flourish.

    You should look up lesbian bed death. Even women who really are attracted to women don't stay physically attracted, and just stop having sex.

    So why bother starting, and getting yourself confused about your identity over something that is not real?

    Ancient Greeks also slept with young boys...so there is that...

    *golf clap*
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    Francl27 wrote: »
    Thoughts? Is it normal?

    Attraction is attraction. It is normal.

  • Is the issue that the one man you are sexually attracted to isn't your mate?

    Sexuality is fluid for many people, desire for sex ebbs and flows - attraction less about genitals and more about appearance and personality. You're fine. Enjoy life.
  • Raptor2763
    Raptor2763 Posts: 387 Member
    Usually, I don't judge a book by its cover, but good looks always help
  • Karb_Kween
    Karb_Kween Posts: 2,681 Member
    Maybe? Only you can identify what you identify with
  • Wheelhouse15
    Wheelhouse15 Posts: 5,575 Member
    Is the issue that the one man you are sexually attracted to isn't your mate?

    Sexuality is fluid for many people, desire for sex ebbs and flows - attraction less about genitals and more about appearance and personality. You're fine. Enjoy life.

    Pretty much this. All mammals tend to have at least some attraction to both sexes and humans are no different.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    Ok it's interesting. Maybe I should add that I typically don't really get along with women either and my best friends have always been guys.
  • Karb_Kween
    Karb_Kween Posts: 2,681 Member
    Francl27 wrote: »
    Ok it's interesting. Maybe I should add that I typically don't really get along with women either and my best friends have always been guys.

    My friends have always been girls, I don't get along with men on a "friend" level, its always romantic

    Also Idk if I could be friends with a guy without getting infatuated and falling in love
  • Escloflowne
    Escloflowne Posts: 2,038 Member
    I would just stick with dudes, OP. Women are so high maintenance and a few days a month it's a no go for sex.
  • Francl27 wrote: »
    Ok it's interesting. Maybe I should add that I typically don't really get along with women either and my best friends have always been guys.

    Nah, irrelevant. Unless you aren't friends with women because it always turns romantic.

    I have never had any issue making friends with men or women. I'm bi.
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    Is the issue that the one man you are sexually attracted to isn't your mate?

    attraction less about genitals and more about appearance and personality.

    appearance?

    personality?

    Drat.

    The news just keeps getting worse & worse...

  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    Karb_Kween wrote: »
    Francl27 wrote: »
    Ok it's interesting. Maybe I should add that I typically don't really get along with women either and my best friends have always been guys.

    My friends have always been girls, I don't get along with men on a "friend" level, its always romantic

    Also Idk if I could be friends with a guy without getting infatuated and falling in love

    I've had no problem being friends with guys because it's extremely rare for me to actually have a crush on someone. But yeah it unfortunately usually doesn't last forever, so I suppose there's indeed often some romantic stuff getting in the way (either on their side or a jealous girlfriend or something.. I don't really know, but they're typically the ones who drift away).

    Not sure why I'm not that easily friend with women. I guess it's because I'm not very much a 'fashion/make up' person and more into the geeky stuff and I just haven't met many who can relate to that.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    You might feel like you fall into one of these categories:

    Pansexual = You can be sexually attracted to any gender, whether or not it is within the male/female binary
    Demisexual = You are only sexually attracted to certain people with whom you have an emotional connection

    Is there something for 'almost never sexually attracted by anyone'? lol.
  • Ben_there_done_that
    Ben_there_done_that Posts: 732 Member
    edited September 2016
    Asexual? Wait that can't be right. I thought that's when creatures are able to reproduce by themselves.
This discussion has been closed.