my husband thinks that I am ungrateful
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It really gets me when people say "have willpower". It is called an ADDICTION for a reason. People who can avoid things with sure will power are not addicted to them. An addict literally can NOT say no. I know this from personal experience. I can NOT say no to certain foods. Then I might cry after and feel awful, but I still couldn't say no. Hell, I might cry during. This is why they have rehab for drug addicts - because they need to be locked away from the drugs for a period of time so they can be used to living without it and THEN get the willpower. Science has shown that some foods can be the same way for certain people and our bodies can react as some people react to drugs. The abstinence comes BEFORE the willpower. It works the same with food addicts - this is why some people go to inpatient weight loss facilities. It does NOT mean she will fail long term. This just means that, for now, she needs the people around her to respect that she is dieting and try not to tempt her so she can get used to not having the addictions for a while before she is exposed to them again.
Also, OP, explain that you understand he was being sweet, but please stick to gifts that are not edible. Tell him that maybe he loves you the way you are, but you want to love yourself and feel healthier, so you need his support and understanding, but you do appreciate him thinking of you.3 -
I just had someone point out to me I've been saying heroine this entire time instead of heroin. Head...desk. Think I'm packing it in for the night cuz I'm clearly losing it.9
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OP has only been dieting 2 weeks. The husband likely isn't thinking about or experiencing what the wife is with the calorie restriction and probably innocently forgot.
I remember when I first cut out sugary items it was really difficult. Some people do experience discomfort, dull headaches, flu like aches and pains, fatigue, malaise, moodiness, and crankiness when first quitting sugar.
My opinion: When one's gone through the worst of it and is presented with something like chocolate, cookies, ice cream, etc which one has been craving, it is tough to turn down in the moment. Especially difficult is resisting when someone lovingly puts it right into one's hands basically. So it is easier for some people to avoid rather than moderate at times, especially when feeling vulnerable to giving in.
It does get easier with time. I was able to break the strong habit for carbs, but it took a change in macro combinations. I basically went LCHF, cut off the sugar supply of treats, rode out the brief couple weeks of side effects and stopped feeding the carb cravings.
Now that I've changed the macro percentages I get appetite blunting and don't get the carb cravings much anymore. It is great!
But I'm fairly sure if I started eating a high carb lifestyle again it could change back. I can walk by most of my old favorites and be indifferent whereas before I would have felt a draw to have them. Quite nice.
It isn't because of willpower that I don't care about sweets so much anymore. I don't really need willpower to resist now. Whereas before I white-knuckled through carb cravings that could last up to an hour before they passed.
In the past I'd remove myself to a different area and actively distract myself until the "hunger" passed which took superhuman willpower to fight against.
I call it "hunger" or "carb cravings" only because there isn't an adequate word I can think of to convey the angsty pull. It wasn't a normal, casual feeling of "I'd like that." It was more like, "I need it now! NOW.
Anyhow. I had good self control to fight the previous cravings while dieting, but it was a stressful, ongoing battle. Now I don't feel the tension.
Thank you to MFP low carb people who helped by sharing tips and resources. Plus I've learned what actual normal hunger signals are and can space meals out much farther than I ever could before.
I don't know how many people can relate. Sometimes I feel like I'm in the minority and maybe not many people do experience this?
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The shame that still follows me around from that day I was caught in the back alley doing things I'd rather not disclose, all for a Klondike bar.14
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nutmegoreo wrote: »The shame that still follows me around from that day I was caught in the back alley doing things I'd rather not disclose, all for a Klondike bar.
I once did something for a ding dong that makes me glad my youth happened before camera phones were a thing.10 -
Alatariel75 wrote: »nutmegoreo wrote: »The shame that still follows me around from that day I was caught in the back alley doing things I'd rather not disclose, all for a Klondike bar.
I once did something for a ding dong that makes me glad my youth happened before camera phones were a thing.
Me too! I can't believe how much is overshared on the internetz.2 -
paperpudding wrote: »Sloth I dont think OP was saying otherwise about her husband.
The original question wasnt about whether he is a loving husband but about how to deal with the issue of him giving food gifts.
And whilst all those good things about him may well be true, it is still best to nicely ask him to buy alternative gifts in future.
I'd suggest that the OP talk over her weight loss goals more broadly with her husband. A caring, thoughtful person often makes for a fantastic "cheerleader" Having that kind of support is super helpful.
Birthdays and holidays are often difficult. This is an opportunity to learn what to do at, say, Thanksgiving and Christmas. Will you need to avoid going to gatherings where there will be lots of high-calorie food? Or can you find a way to limit your portions and still be social?2 -
Since OP is no doubt long gone:Verity1111 wrote: »It really gets me when people say "have willpower". It is called an ADDICTION for a reason.
OP's post was not about addiction, it was about dieting. She likes chocolate and finds them hard to turn down. That's normal. It's not like being a heroin addict, that's ridiculous.
The answer, obviously, is communication. However, people suggesting that she should have been angry or resentful toward her husband and mother-in-law and that he was akin to someone bringing his wife who just got out of Betty Ford a bottle of her favorite wine and generally a bad, uncaring person are nuts.People who can avoid things with sure will power are not addicted to them.
Not true, actually. Someone who has had a problem with alcohol will be exposed to offers and gifts and ads and other situations that make alcohol look easy and tempting ALL the time. Saying no and exercising will power is essential. At first, is it sensible not to make it harder than it needs to be (say, not going to a wine tasting just to hang out), yes, obviously. Similarly (although I do not think it's the same thing), someone trying to avoid overdoing tempting foods might want to portion them out or avoid them for a while and not have them in the house, sure, absolutely. But the person will still get things like gifts or offers or the foods at work or social gatherings, and so has to learn to say no or eat them in moderation.
If I said I was "addicted" to sweets so cannot exercise will power, according to you that would mean that I was either doomed to be fat or had to teach my co-workers that we cannot have sweets on the premises and any sweet treats someone brings or we get as a gift from a vendor, etc., must be tossed immediately. That ridiculous and not feasible.
Just SMH.6 -
Let him know you are working hard to lose weight. My husband knows I like manicures or pedicures, don't get them often with three kiddos.
How about a shopping card or flowers? I know it's tough hang in there! I have been using benifiber to help me feel full and it has no gritty taste.1 -
lemurcat12 wrote: »Since OP is no doubt long gone:Verity1111 wrote: »It really gets me when people say "have willpower". It is called an ADDICTION for a reason.
OP's post was not about addiction, it was about dieting. She likes chocolate and finds them hard to turn down. That's normal. It's not like being a heroin addict, that's ridiculous.
The answer, obviously, is communication. However, people suggesting that she should have been angry or resentful toward her husband and mother-in-law and that he was akin to someone bringing his wife who just got out of Betty Ford a bottle of her favorite wine and generally a bad, uncaring person are nuts.People who can avoid things with sure will power are not addicted to them.
Not true, actually. Someone who has had a problem with alcohol will be exposed to offers and gifts and ads and other situations that make alcohol look easy and tempting ALL the time. Saying no and exercising will power is essential. At first, is it sensible not to make it harder than it needs to be (say, not going to a wine tasting just to hang out), yes, obviously. Similarly (although I do not think it's the same thing), someone trying to avoid overdoing tempting foods might want to portion them out or avoid them for a while and not have them in the house, sure, absolutely. But the person will still get things like gifts or offers or the foods at work or social gatherings, and so has to learn to say no or eat them in moderation.
If I said I was "addicted" to sweets so cannot exercise will power, according to you that would mean that I was either doomed to be fat or had to teach my co-workers that we cannot have sweets on the premises and any sweet treats someone brings or we get as a gift from a vendor, etc., must be tossed immediately. That ridiculous and not feasible.
Just SMH.
Granted, not everyone has difficulties. You can't make blanket statements for all people just because your body is insulin sensitive or responds properly to sugar
In the same way that some people aren't sensitive to alcohol and some are, some are sensitive to sugar or other food sources and some aren't. If a person has a drinking problem, as in your illustration, then the spouse shouldn't buy a bunch of alcohol and hand the person a bottle to teach self restraint or encourage a shot a night until the bottle's gone.
People need to be able to deal with the cards they have been dealt with and their struggles need to be taken seriously.
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For me.. I probably would have enjoyed what he brought me too, on my birthday and I would have said thank you I really enjoyed that for my birthday. Now that I am on my healthier eating plan please don't bring me anymore until my birthday next year. Later in the year you can re-address it. My husband always takes me out to eat and I always over eat, but its only on my birthday or mothers day. Next time I will eat more wisely but I'll probably still go because it makes him happy to think he is making me happy and I have the rest of the days to stick to my diet.2
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For me.. I probably would have enjoyed what he brought me too, on my birthday and I would have said thank you I really enjoyed that for my birthday. Now that I am on my healthier eating plan please don't bring me anymore until my birthday next year. Later in the year you can re-address it. My husband always takes me out to eat and I always over eat, but its only on my birthday or mothers day. Next time I will eat more wisely but I'll probably still go because it makes him happy to think he is making me happy and I have the rest of the days to stick to my diet.
This is a nice solution for you! That way you don't have it brought in too much but can enjoy it on special occasions.
OP ( if you are still around), don't let it derail you. Just get right back on track.1 -
A few strategies:
First, give him suggestions for treats you like now. Maybe it's a smaller sized box. Maybe it's fruit. I don't know. I've gotten my husband to stop bringing me bags of potato chips and start bringing me Bai drinks. The chips are 2000+ calories a bag, the Bai is about 10 calories per drink. Pick something you like.
Second, put the chocolates in a place it is physically difficult to get to. I keep my chocolates on the top shelf of a cabinet in the kitchen. Since I am short and lazy, it takes intent to get a step stool and get the chocolates myself.
Third, you have to take responsibility for yourself. He didn't shove chocolates down your throat. You are going to be faced with many, many more temptations, especially with the holiday season coming. Think about this now, instead of later.1 -
The ones that show that for some people the same reward and pleasure centers of the brain that are triggered by addictive drugs like cocaine and heroin are also activated by food.
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DisruptedMatrix wrote: »The ones that show that for some people the same reward and pleasure centers of the brain that are triggered by addictive drugs like cocaine and heroin are also activated by food.
-drops mic-
Well, they are also activated by petting puppies and many other things. Anything you enjoy activate those parts of the brain
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Nice.singingflutelady wrote: »DisruptedMatrix wrote: »The ones that show that for some people the same reward and pleasure centers of the brain that are triggered by addictive drugs like cocaine and heroin are also activated by food.
-drops mic-
Well, they are also activated by petting puppies and many other things. Anything you enjoy activate those parts of the brain
-drops mic-0 -
lemurcat12 wrote: »Since OP is no doubt long gone:Verity1111 wrote: »It really gets me when people say "have willpower". It is called an ADDICTION for a reason.
OP's post was not about addiction, it was about dieting. She likes chocolate and finds them hard to turn down. That's normal. It's not like being a heroin addict, that's ridiculous.
The answer, obviously, is communication. However, people suggesting that she should have been angry or resentful toward her husband and mother-in-law and that he was akin to someone bringing his wife who just got out of Betty Ford a bottle of her favorite wine and generally a bad, uncaring person are nuts.People who can avoid things with sure will power are not addicted to them.
Not true, actually. Someone who has had a problem with alcohol will be exposed to offers and gifts and ads and other situations that make alcohol look easy and tempting ALL the time. Saying no and exercising will power is essential. At first, is it sensible not to make it harder than it needs to be (say, not going to a wine tasting just to hang out), yes, obviously. Similarly (although I do not think it's the same thing), someone trying to avoid overdoing tempting foods might want to portion them out or avoid them for a while and not have them in the house, sure, absolutely. But the person will still get things like gifts or offers or the foods at work or social gatherings, and so has to learn to say no or eat them in moderation.
If I said I was "addicted" to sweets so cannot exercise will power, according to you that would mean that I was either doomed to be fat or had to teach my co-workers that we cannot have sweets on the premises and any sweet treats someone brings or we get as a gift from a vendor, etc., must be tossed immediately. That ridiculous and not feasible.
Just SMH.
Granted, not everyone has difficulties. You can't make blanket statements for all people just because your body is insulin sensitive or responds properly to sugar
In the same way that some people aren't sensitive to alcohol and some are, some are sensitive to sugar or other food sources and some aren't. If a person has a drinking problem, as in your illustration, then the spouse shouldn't buy a bunch of alcohol and hand the person a bottle to teach self restraint or encourage a shot a night until the bottle's gone.
People need to be able to deal with the cards they have been dealt with and their struggles need to be taken seriously.
If you actually reread my post, I said the same thing about chocolates and alcohol (although I think the comparison is ridiculous).
I think OP needs to tell her husband if she doesn't want food gifts (said that ages ago) and that it might make sense for her to keep chocolates out of the house for the time being. I also think that claiming she CANNOT handle temptation because ADDICTED is false -- I get tempted by chocolates at work all the time and if I couldn't figure out a way to deal with that, I'd fail. Same with alcohol. Consuming it or not is a choice.
(I also think she can probably learn to eat chocolates in moderation, but if she's not there yet, that's understandable.)
The equation of being IR and being addicted is honestly ridiculous and bringing this thread off topic.
And no, I find chocolates tempting too and want to overeat them sometimes. That's not, IMO, at all like addiction, but if you want to think it is, cool, whatever. The point, again, is that that doesn't make me (or anyone else) unable to deal with a gift of chocolates without eating them all, any more than I would drink a bottle of wine and say I couldn't help it if/when gifted with such.0 -
Oops accidentally quoted myself0
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Aaron_K123 wrote: »DisruptedMatrix wrote: »
Science disagrees with you.cerise_noir wrote: »
Drug addiction is not anywhere near the same as "sugar addiction". It irks me when the two are similarly compared.
No it doesn't don't be ridiculous. There is a big difference between being tempted by a food you like and a chemically addictive drug.
Comparing chocolate to heroine is insultingly naive. You know a lot of people who break open their child's piggy bank and hop in their car at 3am to drive to some sketch part of town and buy some Hershey bar only to be found later passed out in their vehicle still clutching the wrapper?
I've heard of people who tried to sell their kids or organs for drugs... Would you REALLY sell your kid for chocolate?
Well on some days I would give my kids away even without the chocolate!!9 -
lemurcat12 wrote: »lemurcat12 wrote: »Since OP is no doubt long gone:Verity1111 wrote: »It really gets me when people say "have willpower". It is called an ADDICTION for a reason.
OP's post was not about addiction, it was about dieting. She likes chocolate and finds them hard to turn down. That's normal. It's not like being a heroin addict, that's ridiculous.
The answer, obviously, is communication. However, people suggesting that she should have been angry or resentful toward her husband and mother-in-law and that he was akin to someone bringing his wife who just got out of Betty Ford a bottle of her favorite wine and generally a bad, uncaring person are nuts.People who can avoid things with sure will power are not addicted to them.
Not true, actually. Someone who has had a problem with alcohol will be exposed to offers and gifts and ads and other situations that make alcohol look easy and tempting ALL the time. Saying no and exercising will power is essential. At first, is it sensible not to make it harder than it needs to be (say, not going to a wine tasting just to hang out), yes, obviously. Similarly (although I do not think it's the same thing), someone trying to avoid overdoing tempting foods might want to portion them out or avoid them for a while and not have them in the house, sure, absolutely. But the person will still get things like gifts or offers or the foods at work or social gatherings, and so has to learn to say no or eat them in moderation.
If I said I was "addicted" to sweets so cannot exercise will power, according to you that would mean that I was either doomed to be fat or had to teach my co-workers that we cannot have sweets on the premises and any sweet treats someone brings or we get as a gift from a vendor, etc., must be tossed immediately. That ridiculous and not feasible.
Just SMH.
Granted, not everyone has difficulties. You can't make blanket statements for all people just because your body is insulin sensitive or responds properly to sugar
In the same way that some people aren't sensitive to alcohol and some are, some are sensitive to sugar or other food sources and some aren't. If a person has a drinking problem, as in your illustration, then the spouse shouldn't buy a bunch of alcohol and hand the person a bottle to teach self restraint or encourage a shot a night until the bottle's gone.
People need to be able to deal with the cards they have been dealt with and their struggles need to be taken seriously.
If you actually reread my post, I said the same thing about chocolates and alcohol (although I think the comparison is ridiculous).
I think OP needs to tell her husband if she doesn't want food gifts (said that ages ago) and that it might make sense for her to keep chocolates out of the house for the time being. I also think that claiming she CANNOT handle temptation because ADDICTED is false -- I get tempted by chocolates at work all the time and if I couldn't figure out a way to deal with that, I'd fail. Same with alcohol. Consuming it or not is a choice.
(I also think she can probably learn to eat chocolates in moderation, but if she's not there yet, that's understandable.)
The equation of being IR and being addicted is honestly ridiculous and bringing this thread off topic.
And no, I find chocolates tempting too and want to overeat them sometimes. That's not, IMO, at all like addiction, but if you want to think it is, cool, whatever. The point, again, is that that doesn't make me (or anyone else) unable to deal with a gift of chocolates without eating them all, any more than I would drink a bottle of wine and say I couldn't help it if/when gifted with such.
I respect your viewpoints and agree with many of them. OP ate 15 chocolates and didn't want to. End of story.0 -
How do I explain to my husband that a box of chocolates is an unsuitable present for a chocoholicoverweight wife in the second week of a weight loss diet. Incidently I responded by eating 15 in quick succession before our birthday tea which included a raspberry and cream dessert cake made by his 92 year old mum. The outcome is 1500 Cal daily excess, an exploding tummy and a deep feeling of resentfulness. Help me!
Her words not mine. So the subject is relevant.1 -
Does he know you're trying to lose weight? Maybe eating 15 in quick succession shows that he shouldn't take you too seriously. I'm not saying this meanly, I'm saying this as someone who's been there. My husband has heard it for the last 20 years that I'm "trying to lose weight", then he watched as I downed a pint of ice cream. He takes me much more seriously when he sees me putting the work into it. SHOW him, not just TELL him.4
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How do I explain to my husband that a box of chocolates is an unsuitable present for a chocoholicoverweight wife in the second week of a weight loss diet. Incidently I responded by eating 15 in quick succession before our birthday tea which included a raspberry and cream dessert cake made by his 92 year old mum. The outcome is 1500 Cal daily excess, an exploding tummy and a deep feeling of resentfulness. Help me!
Her words not mine. So the subject is relevant.
(1) calling herself a chocoholic does not mean she was (a) saying it was an addiction precisely like heroin or alcohol, as others brought it. It's a common way of saying I love chocolate and am easily tempted by it.
(2) that in the situation she overate chocolate (haven't all of us overeaten at some point when not intending to?) again does not mean that she CANNOT exercise willpower at all, let alone that it's like giving her heroin when recovering from an addiction.
Your whole thing about how you (and she) have sugar addictions and others cannot understand is off topic and just bizarre. I imagine most of us here have or have had foods that we feel like we lack good control over, especially in specific situations (like a birthday, like feeling like we are being urged to eat it, etc.). The point is that life throws these situations at us, so claiming that you can't make the right choice (whatever you think it is) because you are an ADDICT and the rest of us don't get it is wrong (and also not something OP said).
And all the nonsense about her husband being a jerk for not getting that she wouldn't want the gift was, well, nonsense, and I doubt OP herself would say otherwise, except in the moment. I've joked about frustration (why, on the day I finally decided to get back to not snacking did someone bring in my absolute favorite cannolis for the office, why when I'm stressed and have to stay late did someone have to refresh the peanut M&Ms or various things like that -- I could come up many booze-related ones too if you want since you seem to have decided, who knows why, that only people with IR experience the super special temptation that you understand). The point is that joking that like, venting, doesn't mean that you really and truly lack willpower, and being able to deal with these situations is important.
And like I said a million posts ago, if you think food gifts are going to make it harder for you, tell your husband before the next gift-giving occasion (Christmas isn't that long from now if they celebrate it). Chances are people will bring pie to Thanksgiving too, so have a strategy for that and anything else that is likely to come up.7 -
Everyone at work knows I've been losing weight and was training for a half marathon. After I lost my dog suddenly, two people gave me chocolate/food gifts and then later apologized even though I thanked them and didn't say anything negative about it. I said no problem, I love chocolate, I put it in my desk and have a little treat after lunch each day.
I would probably tell a spouse that while obviously I love chocolate and it's a great gift, I'd prefer for the time being not be so tempted if it was a problem for me. I'm pretty good at rationing and savoring good chocolate though.2 -
lemurcat12 wrote: »lemurcat12 wrote: »Since OP is no doubt long gone:Verity1111 wrote: »It really gets me when people say "have willpower". It is called an ADDICTION for a reason.
OP's post was not about addiction, it was about dieting. She likes chocolate and finds them hard to turn down. That's normal. It's not like being a heroin addict, that's ridiculous.
The answer, obviously, is communication. However, people suggesting that she should have been angry or resentful toward her husband and mother-in-law and that he was akin to someone bringing his wife who just got out of Betty Ford a bottle of her favorite wine and generally a bad, uncaring person are nuts.People who can avoid things with sure will power are not addicted to them.
Not true, actually. Someone who has had a problem with alcohol will be exposed to offers and gifts and ads and other situations that make alcohol look easy and tempting ALL the time. Saying no and exercising will power is essential. At first, is it sensible not to make it harder than it needs to be (say, not going to a wine tasting just to hang out), yes, obviously. Similarly (although I do not think it's the same thing), someone trying to avoid overdoing tempting foods might want to portion them out or avoid them for a while and not have them in the house, sure, absolutely. But the person will still get things like gifts or offers or the foods at work or social gatherings, and so has to learn to say no or eat them in moderation.
If I said I was "addicted" to sweets so cannot exercise will power, according to you that would mean that I was either doomed to be fat or had to teach my co-workers that we cannot have sweets on the premises and any sweet treats someone brings or we get as a gift from a vendor, etc., must be tossed immediately. That ridiculous and not feasible.
Just SMH.
Granted, not everyone has difficulties. You can't make blanket statements for all people just because your body is insulin sensitive or responds properly to sugar
In the same way that some people aren't sensitive to alcohol and some are, some are sensitive to sugar or other food sources and some aren't. If a person has a drinking problem, as in your illustration, then the spouse shouldn't buy a bunch of alcohol and hand the person a bottle to teach self restraint or encourage a shot a night until the bottle's gone.
People need to be able to deal with the cards they have been dealt with and their struggles need to be taken seriously.
If you actually reread my post, I said the same thing about chocolates and alcohol (although I think the comparison is ridiculous).
I think OP needs to tell her husband if she doesn't want food gifts (said that ages ago) and that it might make sense for her to keep chocolates out of the house for the time being. I also think that claiming she CANNOT handle temptation because ADDICTED is false -- I get tempted by chocolates at work all the time and if I couldn't figure out a way to deal with that, I'd fail. Same with alcohol. Consuming it or not is a choice.
(I also think she can probably learn to eat chocolates in moderation, but if she's not there yet, that's understandable.)
The equation of being IR and being addicted is honestly ridiculous and bringing this thread off topic.
And no, I find chocolates tempting too and want to overeat them sometimes. That's not, IMO, at all like addiction, but if you want to think it is, cool, whatever. The point, again, is that that doesn't make me (or anyone else) unable to deal with a gift of chocolates without eating them all, any more than I would drink a bottle of wine and say I couldn't help it if/when gifted with such.
I respect your viewpoints and agree with many of them. OP ate 15 chocolates and didn't want to. End of story.
That has nothing to do with whatever point you're trying to make.
If you have IR and there are chocolates in front of you, what allows you to not eat them?1 -
This past birthday, my husband gave me chocolate. I'm going through a period where I'm having difficulty moderating. I've carefully controlled my environment for the time being to deal with this. It's been pretty easy because I have celiac disease and my family's treats are things I can't eat.
It's a long-standing joke between us that my husband is Captain Oblivion, but he meant well. He always means well. He's my husband and loves me.
I thanked him, had one, and put the rest in the freezer. Under things. Where I could forget about them.
Even when I had some spells of binging, I never dove into them.
I've had a long history with dieting, and one of my biggest pitfalls over the years was always blaming something else. That often included my lack of willpower, the food (or certain foods themselves), other people, the environment around me -- you name it.
I used to also be a major control freak (this was a legacy of childhood sexual abuse) and attempt to control the people around me because I didn't know how to deal with things. If they all behaved in a certain way, my life would be predictable and I wouldn't have to draw on my own resources to manage it.
Becoming ill and depressed changed all that. I grew up and faced the fact that I couldn't control things. I could only control myself, and how I reacted to the world around me.
It took a while, but I was eventually able to transfer this knowledge/skill set to food. The world would not accommodate me. There would be situations with food. I never could recall a single instance of a food jumping into my mouth. No single food had ever forced me to keep eating it. Oh, I found it difficult all right, but it was all within my power to change. And the new me was determined to stop making the mistakes I'd always made.
Since I had logically figured this all out, I could no longer live with the excuse that I just couldn't help myself. I didn't like thinking of myself as being helpless. So I decided to stop acting that way.7 -
lemurcat12 wrote: »Since OP is no doubt long gone:Verity1111 wrote: »It really gets me when people say "have willpower". It is called an ADDICTION for a reason.
OP's post was not about addiction, it was about dieting. She likes chocolate and finds them hard to turn down. That's normal. It's not like being a heroin addict, that's ridiculous.
The answer, obviously, is communication. However, people suggesting that she should have been angry or resentful toward her husband and mother-in-law and that he was akin to someone bringing his wife who just got out of Betty Ford a bottle of her favorite wine and generally a bad, uncaring person are nuts.People who can avoid things with sure will power are not addicted to them.
Not true, actually. Someone who has had a problem with alcohol will be exposed to offers and gifts and ads and other situations that make alcohol look easy and tempting ALL the time. Saying no and exercising will power is essential. At first, is it sensible not to make it harder than it needs to be (say, not going to a wine tasting just to hang out), yes, obviously. Similarly (although I do not think it's the same thing), someone trying to avoid overdoing tempting foods might want to portion them out or avoid them for a while and not have them in the house, sure, absolutely. But the person will still get things like gifts or offers or the foods at work or social gatherings, and so has to learn to say no or eat them in moderation.
If I said I was "addicted" to sweets so cannot exercise will power, according to you that would mean that I was either doomed to be fat or had to teach my co-workers that we cannot have sweets on the premises and any sweet treats someone brings or we get as a gift from a vendor, etc., must be tossed immediately. That ridiculous and not feasible.
Just SMH.
You seem to have no idea what an addiction is. It is not about choices. It has to do with the brain. Different chemicals and them seriously overriding your body.
Here is a great example comparing chocolate to cocaine in a study with rats.
"Would a rat risk dying just to satisfy its desire for chocolate?
I recently found out. In my laboratory, we gave rats unlimited access to their standard fare as well as to a mini cafeteria full of appetizing, high-calorie foods: sausage, cheesecake, chocolate. The rats decreased their intake of the healthy but bland items and switched to eating the cafeteria food almost exclusively. They gained weight. They became obese.
We then warned the rats as they were eating—by flashing a light—that they would receive a nasty foot shock. Rats eating the bland chow would quickly stop and scramble away, but time and again the obese rats continued to devour the rich food, ignoring the warning they had been trained to fear. Their hedonic desire overruled their basic sense of self-preservation.
Our finding mirrored a previous trial by Barry Everitt of the University of Cambridge—only his rats were hooked on cocaine."
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/is-obesity-an-addiction/
"Sugar and other junk foods, due to their powerful effect on the reward centers of the brain, function similarly to drugs of abuse like cocaine and nicotine"
https://authoritynutrition.com/how-sugar-makes-you-addicted/
"The reviewed evidence supports the theory that, in some circumstances, intermittent access to sugar can lead to behavior and neurochemical changes that resemble the effects of a substance of abuse. According to the evidence in rats, intermittent access to sugar and chow is capable of producing a “dependency”. This was operationally defined by tests for bingeing, withdrawal, craving and cross-sensitization to amphetamine and alcohol. "
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2235907/
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KWlosingit wrote: »Aaron_K123 wrote: »DisruptedMatrix wrote: »
Science disagrees with you.cerise_noir wrote: »
Drug addiction is not anywhere near the same as "sugar addiction". It irks me when the two are similarly compared.
No it doesn't don't be ridiculous. There is a big difference between being tempted by a food you like and a chemically addictive drug.
Comparing chocolate to heroine is insultingly naive. You know a lot of people who break open their child's piggy bank and hop in their car at 3am to drive to some sketch part of town and buy some Hershey bar only to be found later passed out in their vehicle still clutching the wrapper?
I've heard of people who tried to sell their kids or organs for drugs... Would you REALLY sell your kid for chocolate?
Well on some days I would give my kids away even without the chocolate!!KWlosingit wrote: »Aaron_K123 wrote: »DisruptedMatrix wrote: »
Science disagrees with you.cerise_noir wrote: »
Drug addiction is not anywhere near the same as "sugar addiction". It irks me when the two are similarly compared.
No it doesn't don't be ridiculous. There is a big difference between being tempted by a food you like and a chemically addictive drug.
Comparing chocolate to heroine is insultingly naive. You know a lot of people who break open their child's piggy bank and hop in their car at 3am to drive to some sketch part of town and buy some Hershey bar only to be found later passed out in their vehicle still clutching the wrapper?
I've heard of people who tried to sell their kids or organs for drugs... Would you REALLY sell your kid for chocolate?
Well on some days I would give my kids away even without the chocolate!!
Chocolate is legal so you dont have to sell your kids. That's the issue. Do I believe people addicted to chocolate would "sell their kids" or risk their livelihood for it if it was illegal and hard to get/expensive? Yes, yes I do. Not me, personally, but some sick person would, yes.0 -
My husband eats sweets & always offers me some. sometimes he puts it by my mouth & says, "just take a bite" i turn away & say no thank you. What he feels is up to him. I'm nice about it. A few things he offers i do tell him I cant have just a bite, i'll eat 15 so I choose to not have any0
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Alatariel75 wrote: »nutmegoreo wrote: »The shame that still follows me around from that day I was caught in the back alley doing things I'd rather not disclose, all for a Klondike bar.
I once did something for a ding dong that makes me glad my youth happened before camera phones were a thing.
Lol damn that chocolate for making us act out, I'm glad I missed the camera phone also.
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