my husband thinks that I am ungrateful
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Well, there's no sense in crying over spilled milk, I guess. The calories have been consumed and there's no sense beating yourself over the head about it. Ask him not to buy you food gifts if you think it might be too much of a temptation, and follow some of the advice listed in this thread - moderate it - one a day or a couple at the weekend shouldn't dent your calorie limit too massively, if he buys this sort of thing for you in the future. I think he was genuinely just trying to do a nice thing - maybe he thinks you deserve a reward for the hard work on your diet!
I have a situation like this coming up myself that's already caused some disagreement in my home - Christmas. My family always has a big Christmas lunch and I've been asked already (October!!) not to calorie count that day. It troubles me a little personally, seeing as I've made great progress and I'm really motivated to continue - I don't feel like I'm dieting anymore... it's just a way of life now. I've said that I'll try, but I'm really proud of what I'm doing and don't care to skip a day. Christmas in my home will already be controversial, seeing as I became completely teetotal in February and you couldn't pay me to drink now. It's also a time of year where I almost always get food gifts - I've been vegan for 10 years, so I always get a little pile of vegan treats that are too expensive to buy year round. Of course, these gifts are super thoughtful and I'm grateful - but this year will be a case of stretching out what I do receive for as long as possible... thankfully most vegan foods of that nature have a long shelf life so I may still be working through them this time next year!
You're going to come up against situations like this again. The only person who can change the way you feel about this is you. I felt like people were testing me at first - I've been surprised with various high-calorie treats on a number of occasions - most notably crisps, my former food addiction. I said thank you for the thought, but that I wouldn't be eating them any time soon because of my diet, and that they were welcome to eat them themselves if they wanted. They sat for a few weeks in the kitchen until the person who bought them ate them! Now, I don't get these sorts of kind surprises - instead I get surprised with fancy salt and herbs, because that's been pretty essential to keeping my food interesting... and the people around me have totally acknowledged that I'm really committed to my diet - some have even joined me!
TL;DR - Keep going! One day doesn't matter in the long run. Ask the people around you to not buy you food gifts. Moderation is key!1 -
I had lost 35lbs, then plateaued for a few months, then gained back 7 over a month. I was quite disappointed with myself. A few weeks back I refocused and got back on track, losing 4lbs again.
Last weekend my wife bought me ice cream. The good stuff! From a creamery!! Dark chocolate!!!
I said thank you. I checked myfitnesspal pal - I was already over by 200 calories, so I put it in the freezer. The next day I left room to eat some, and told her it was the best ice cream I had ever had.2 -
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Verity1111 wrote: »It really gets me when people say "have willpower". It is called an ADDICTION for a reason. People who can avoid things with sure will power are not addicted to them. An addict literally can NOT say no. I know this from personal experience. I can NOT say no to certain foods. Then I might cry after and feel awful, but I still couldn't say no. Hell, I might cry during. This is why they have rehab for drug addicts - because they need to be locked away from the drugs for a period of time so they can be used to living without it and THEN get the willpower. Science has shown that some foods can be the same way for certain people and our bodies can react as some people react to drugs. The abstinence comes BEFORE the willpower. It works the same with food addicts - this is why some people go to inpatient weight loss facilities. It does NOT mean she will fail long term. This just means that, for now, she needs the people around her to respect that she is dieting and try not to tempt her so she can get used to not having the addictions for a while before she is exposed to them again.
Also, OP, explain that you understand he was being sweet, but please stick to gifts that are not edible. Tell him that maybe he loves you the way you are, but you want to love yourself and feel healthier, so you need his support and understanding, but you do appreciate him thinking of you.
No one is born with willpower. There are those who work hard to get to that stage. The fail, get back up, evaluate where they went wrong, create plans to rectify the situation and try again.
Then there are those who would rather not do anything about it, and whine and complain. They don't earn from their mistakes, either and just blame whatever there is to blame instead of correcting the issue themselves.
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queenliz99 wrote: »
You guys suck3 -
Aaron_K123 wrote: »queenliz99 wrote: »
You guys suck
Why yes we do!!0 -
What the hell did I just read?... O.o
...yous guys. lol0 -
MommyMeggo wrote: »What the hell did I just read?... O.o
...yous guys. lol
entertainment value on this keeps going up.. I have been eating tubs of popcorn..
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Can we get back to heroine addiction?
Well, here's the Charles the Dauphin on Joan of Arc:
"Whoe'er helps thee, 'tis thou that must help me:
Impatiently I burn with thy desire;
My heart and hands thou hast at once subdued.
Excellent Pucelle, if thy name be so,
Let me thy servant and not sovereign be:
'Tis the French Dauphin sueth to thee thus."3 -
When I get things like that, I hurriedly pass them off to others or the kids, however, I wouldn't worry about a birthday tea excess day. I just move on the next day and don't feel guilty now, as birthdays are pretty rare.1
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cerise_noir wrote: »Verity1111 wrote: »It really gets me when people say "have willpower". It is called an ADDICTION for a reason. People who can avoid things with sure will power are not addicted to them. An addict literally can NOT say no. I know this from personal experience. I can NOT say no to certain foods. Then I might cry after and feel awful, but I still couldn't say no. Hell, I might cry during. This is why they have rehab for drug addicts - because they need to be locked away from the drugs for a period of time so they can be used to living without it and THEN get the willpower. Science has shown that some foods can be the same way for certain people and our bodies can react as some people react to drugs. The abstinence comes BEFORE the willpower. It works the same with food addicts - this is why some people go to inpatient weight loss facilities. It does NOT mean she will fail long term. This just means that, for now, she needs the people around her to respect that she is dieting and try not to tempt her so she can get used to not having the addictions for a while before she is exposed to them again.
Also, OP, explain that you understand he was being sweet, but please stick to gifts that are not edible. Tell him that maybe he loves you the way you are, but you want to love yourself and feel healthier, so you need his support and understanding, but you do appreciate him thinking of you.
No one is born with willpower. There are those who work hard to get to that stage. The fail, get back up, evaluate where they went wrong, create plans to rectify the situation and try again.
Then there are those who would rather not do anything about it, and whine and complain. They don't earn from their mistakes, either and just blame whatever there is to blame instead of correcting the issue themselves.
Seems to me like some of the people who "work hard" for their will power get jealous of some will powerless people who accomplish their goals without developing or flexing their will power muscles. There's multiple ways to skin a cat. Will power the way you define it is not necessary to lose weight. Consuming fewer calories than your body burns, is.1 -
cerise_noir wrote: »Verity1111 wrote: »It really gets me when people say "have willpower". It is called an ADDICTION for a reason. People who can avoid things with sure will power are not addicted to them. An addict literally can NOT say no. I know this from personal experience. I can NOT say no to certain foods. Then I might cry after and feel awful, but I still couldn't say no. Hell, I might cry during. This is why they have rehab for drug addicts - because they need to be locked away from the drugs for a period of time so they can be used to living without it and THEN get the willpower. Science has shown that some foods can be the same way for certain people and our bodies can react as some people react to drugs. The abstinence comes BEFORE the willpower. It works the same with food addicts - this is why some people go to inpatient weight loss facilities. It does NOT mean she will fail long term. This just means that, for now, she needs the people around her to respect that she is dieting and try not to tempt her so she can get used to not having the addictions for a while before she is exposed to them again.
Also, OP, explain that you understand he was being sweet, but please stick to gifts that are not edible. Tell him that maybe he loves you the way you are, but you want to love yourself and feel healthier, so you need his support and understanding, but you do appreciate him thinking of you.
No one is born with willpower. There are those who work hard to get to that stage. The fail, get back up, evaluate where they went wrong, create plans to rectify the situation and try again.
Then there are those who would rather not do anything about it, and whine and complain. They don't earn from their mistakes, either and just blame whatever there is to blame instead of correcting the issue themselves.
Seems to me like some of the people who "work hard" for their will power get jealous of some will powerless people who accomplish their goals without developing or flexing their will power muscles. There's multiple ways to skin a cat. Will power the way you define it is not necessary to lose weight. Consuming fewer calories than your body burns, is.
It's great when it comes naturally. I had to use willpower on high carb and hardly think about food on low carb. It can be situational.1 -
cerise_noir wrote: »Verity1111 wrote: »It really gets me when people say "have willpower". It is called an ADDICTION for a reason. People who can avoid things with sure will power are not addicted to them. An addict literally can NOT say no. I know this from personal experience. I can NOT say no to certain foods. Then I might cry after and feel awful, but I still couldn't say no. Hell, I might cry during. This is why they have rehab for drug addicts - because they need to be locked away from the drugs for a period of time so they can be used to living without it and THEN get the willpower. Science has shown that some foods can be the same way for certain people and our bodies can react as some people react to drugs. The abstinence comes BEFORE the willpower. It works the same with food addicts - this is why some people go to inpatient weight loss facilities. It does NOT mean she will fail long term. This just means that, for now, she needs the people around her to respect that she is dieting and try not to tempt her so she can get used to not having the addictions for a while before she is exposed to them again.
Also, OP, explain that you understand he was being sweet, but please stick to gifts that are not edible. Tell him that maybe he loves you the way you are, but you want to love yourself and feel healthier, so you need his support and understanding, but you do appreciate him thinking of you.
No one is born with willpower. There are those who work hard to get to that stage. The fail, get back up, evaluate where they went wrong, create plans to rectify the situation and try again.
Then there are those who would rather not do anything about it, and whine and complain. They don't earn from their mistakes, either and just blame whatever there is to blame instead of correcting the issue themselves.
Seems to me like some of the people who "work hard" for their will power get jealous of some will powerless people who accomplish their goals without developing or flexing their will power muscles. There's multiple ways to skin a cat. Will power the way you define it is not necessary to lose weight. Consuming fewer calories than your body burns, is.
That's not the issue at all. We are annoyed at those who use it as an excuse and blame everyone around them.0 -
People make decisions to eat certain foods, the foods don't make those decisions. Don't give food your power.0
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singingflutelady wrote: »cerise_noir wrote: »Verity1111 wrote: »It really gets me when people say "have willpower". It is called an ADDICTION for a reason. People who can avoid things with sure will power are not addicted to them. An addict literally can NOT say no. I know this from personal experience. I can NOT say no to certain foods. Then I might cry after and feel awful, but I still couldn't say no. Hell, I might cry during. This is why they have rehab for drug addicts - because they need to be locked away from the drugs for a period of time so they can be used to living without it and THEN get the willpower. Science has shown that some foods can be the same way for certain people and our bodies can react as some people react to drugs. The abstinence comes BEFORE the willpower. It works the same with food addicts - this is why some people go to inpatient weight loss facilities. It does NOT mean she will fail long term. This just means that, for now, she needs the people around her to respect that she is dieting and try not to tempt her so she can get used to not having the addictions for a while before she is exposed to them again.
Also, OP, explain that you understand he was being sweet, but please stick to gifts that are not edible. Tell him that maybe he loves you the way you are, but you want to love yourself and feel healthier, so you need his support and understanding, but you do appreciate him thinking of you.
No one is born with willpower. There are those who work hard to get to that stage. The fail, get back up, evaluate where they went wrong, create plans to rectify the situation and try again.
Then there are those who would rather not do anything about it, and whine and complain. They don't earn from their mistakes, either and just blame whatever there is to blame instead of correcting the issue themselves.
Seems to me like some of the people who "work hard" for their will power get jealous of some will powerless people who accomplish their goals without developing or flexing their will power muscles. There's multiple ways to skin a cat. Will power the way you define it is not necessary to lose weight. Consuming fewer calories than your body burns, is.
That's not the issue at all. We are annoyed at those who use it as an excuse and blame everyone around them.
Well, good luck with that. 0 -
singingflutelady wrote: »cerise_noir wrote: »Verity1111 wrote: »It really gets me when people say "have willpower". It is called an ADDICTION for a reason. People who can avoid things with sure will power are not addicted to them. An addict literally can NOT say no. I know this from personal experience. I can NOT say no to certain foods. Then I might cry after and feel awful, but I still couldn't say no. Hell, I might cry during. This is why they have rehab for drug addicts - because they need to be locked away from the drugs for a period of time so they can be used to living without it and THEN get the willpower. Science has shown that some foods can be the same way for certain people and our bodies can react as some people react to drugs. The abstinence comes BEFORE the willpower. It works the same with food addicts - this is why some people go to inpatient weight loss facilities. It does NOT mean she will fail long term. This just means that, for now, she needs the people around her to respect that she is dieting and try not to tempt her so she can get used to not having the addictions for a while before she is exposed to them again.
Also, OP, explain that you understand he was being sweet, but please stick to gifts that are not edible. Tell him that maybe he loves you the way you are, but you want to love yourself and feel healthier, so you need his support and understanding, but you do appreciate him thinking of you.
No one is born with willpower. There are those who work hard to get to that stage. The fail, get back up, evaluate where they went wrong, create plans to rectify the situation and try again.
Then there are those who would rather not do anything about it, and whine and complain. They don't earn from their mistakes, either and just blame whatever there is to blame instead of correcting the issue themselves.
Seems to me like some of the people who "work hard" for their will power get jealous of some will powerless people who accomplish their goals without developing or flexing their will power muscles. There's multiple ways to skin a cat. Will power the way you define it is not necessary to lose weight. Consuming fewer calories than your body burns, is.
That's not the issue at all. We are annoyed at those who use it as an excuse and blame everyone around them.
Well, good luck with that.
Since I don't blame others I'm doing fine thank you 0 -
Girl, just say NO!! That's called sabotage! Maybe he thinks if you lose weight you will not want him anymore - try to encourage him and let him know this will give you "more energy" to enjoy him even more....he'll like that!!
We were talking about this same thing in my diabetes support group today. You can't expect people to read your mind about what you need. Have a candid conversation with your hubby.
Mitey Me. It's been two weeks. Does your husband know you're trying to lose weight? Sit him down and just explain how he can help your efforts.0
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