my husband thinks that I am ungrateful
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DisruptedMatrix wrote: »DisruptedMatrix wrote: »I mean YES historically speaking people have sold their kids for food. So..... lol.
But that's when people were in poverty or starvation/famine. Food is a need to survive, they would have died if they hadn't sold their kids (which I don't support, by the way). Unless you need chocolate to survive, you can't compare the two.
Ah I see, you ask a question, I answer that yes, what you asked does happen, and you argue semantics. No one needs to sell their kids because chocolate is legal and no one is going to accept payment for chocolate in exchange for children. Not to mention an addict would just steal the food. But you asked a question and I answered. Yes, yes indeed children have been sold for food.
I think you might have been arguing to someone else, because I never mentioned food in general, just chocolate. Bringing up food is a completely different topic, which yes, I agree would have happened in the past (maybe even currently in impoverished countries). However, I highly doubt anyone would sell their own kid for chocolate unless something's wrong with their head.
Then how was the point you were making relevant?0 -
Pathmonkey wrote: »My ex husband used to do the same thing to me! (note his status is EX). He was overweight as well.....I just have to conclude he was sabotaging my efforts. Nip this in the bud now....it borders on cruelty.
Here in this very forum is a thread where a woman - who has had to create a secret anonymous account just to post! - has been describing ACTUAL PSYCHOLOGICAL AND EMOTIONAL ABUSE and you are trying to say that because THIS OP's husband did something nice for his wife - it's only been two weeks, he probably forgot - that he's cruel?
Get some perspective!
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DisruptedMatrix wrote: »DisruptedMatrix wrote: »DisruptedMatrix wrote: »I mean YES historically speaking people have sold their kids for food. So..... lol.
But that's when people were in poverty or starvation/famine. Food is a need to survive, they would have died if they hadn't sold their kids (which I don't support, by the way). Unless you need chocolate to survive, you can't compare the two.
Ah I see, you ask a question, I answer that yes, what you asked does happen, and you argue semantics. No one needs to sell their kids because chocolate is legal and no one is going to accept payment for chocolate in exchange for children. Not to mention an addict would just steal the food. But you asked a question and I answered. Yes, yes indeed children have been sold for food.
I think you might have been arguing to someone else, because I never mentioned food in general, just chocolate. Bringing up food is a completely different topic, which yes, I agree would have happened in the past (maybe even currently in impoverished countries). However, I highly doubt anyone would sell their own kid for chocolate unless something's wrong with their head.
Then how was the point you were making relevant?
You mean the point where I said people wouldn't sell their children for a chocolate addiction, but would for a heroin addiction?
It was in reference to a post that compared chocolate addiction and a heroin addiction, and how it's impossible to compare them because a chocolate addiction is really minor compared to a heroin addiction. If we were comparing a food "addiction" to a heroin addiction, that would have been different. Mainly because food isn't an addiction, it's a necessity, but that wasn't the argument people were having when I made the reference.1 -
DisruptedMatrix wrote: »I mean YES historically speaking people have sold their kids for food. So..... lol.
You know how that comment comes across right? You know this is happening now in parts of the world
Rather ironic considering your other posts
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tell him for some people, 'complete abstinence is better then perfect moderation' (at least in beginning)
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Well, there's no sense in crying over spilled milk, I guess. The calories have been consumed and there's no sense beating yourself over the head about it. Ask him not to buy you food gifts if you think it might be too much of a temptation, and follow some of the advice listed in this thread - moderate it - one a day or a couple at the weekend shouldn't dent your calorie limit too massively, if he buys this sort of thing for you in the future. I think he was genuinely just trying to do a nice thing - maybe he thinks you deserve a reward for the hard work on your diet!
I have a situation like this coming up myself that's already caused some disagreement in my home - Christmas. My family always has a big Christmas lunch and I've been asked already (October!!) not to calorie count that day. It troubles me a little personally, seeing as I've made great progress and I'm really motivated to continue - I don't feel like I'm dieting anymore... it's just a way of life now. I've said that I'll try, but I'm really proud of what I'm doing and don't care to skip a day. Christmas in my home will already be controversial, seeing as I became completely teetotal in February and you couldn't pay me to drink now. It's also a time of year where I almost always get food gifts - I've been vegan for 10 years, so I always get a little pile of vegan treats that are too expensive to buy year round. Of course, these gifts are super thoughtful and I'm grateful - but this year will be a case of stretching out what I do receive for as long as possible... thankfully most vegan foods of that nature have a long shelf life so I may still be working through them this time next year!
You're going to come up against situations like this again. The only person who can change the way you feel about this is you. I felt like people were testing me at first - I've been surprised with various high-calorie treats on a number of occasions - most notably crisps, my former food addiction. I said thank you for the thought, but that I wouldn't be eating them any time soon because of my diet, and that they were welcome to eat them themselves if they wanted. They sat for a few weeks in the kitchen until the person who bought them ate them! Now, I don't get these sorts of kind surprises - instead I get surprised with fancy salt and herbs, because that's been pretty essential to keeping my food interesting... and the people around me have totally acknowledged that I'm really committed to my diet - some have even joined me!
TL;DR - Keep going! One day doesn't matter in the long run. Ask the people around you to not buy you food gifts. Moderation is key!1 -
I had lost 35lbs, then plateaued for a few months, then gained back 7 over a month. I was quite disappointed with myself. A few weeks back I refocused and got back on track, losing 4lbs again.
Last weekend my wife bought me ice cream. The good stuff! From a creamery!! Dark chocolate!!!
I said thank you. I checked myfitnesspal pal - I was already over by 200 calories, so I put it in the freezer. The next day I left room to eat some, and told her it was the best ice cream I had ever had.2 -
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Verity1111 wrote: »It really gets me when people say "have willpower". It is called an ADDICTION for a reason. People who can avoid things with sure will power are not addicted to them. An addict literally can NOT say no. I know this from personal experience. I can NOT say no to certain foods. Then I might cry after and feel awful, but I still couldn't say no. Hell, I might cry during. This is why they have rehab for drug addicts - because they need to be locked away from the drugs for a period of time so they can be used to living without it and THEN get the willpower. Science has shown that some foods can be the same way for certain people and our bodies can react as some people react to drugs. The abstinence comes BEFORE the willpower. It works the same with food addicts - this is why some people go to inpatient weight loss facilities. It does NOT mean she will fail long term. This just means that, for now, she needs the people around her to respect that she is dieting and try not to tempt her so she can get used to not having the addictions for a while before she is exposed to them again.
Also, OP, explain that you understand he was being sweet, but please stick to gifts that are not edible. Tell him that maybe he loves you the way you are, but you want to love yourself and feel healthier, so you need his support and understanding, but you do appreciate him thinking of you.
No one is born with willpower. There are those who work hard to get to that stage. The fail, get back up, evaluate where they went wrong, create plans to rectify the situation and try again.
Then there are those who would rather not do anything about it, and whine and complain. They don't earn from their mistakes, either and just blame whatever there is to blame instead of correcting the issue themselves.
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queenliz99 wrote: »
You guys suck3 -
Aaron_K123 wrote: »queenliz99 wrote: »
You guys suck
Why yes we do!!0 -
What the hell did I just read?... O.o
...yous guys. lol0
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