Mother Sacrificing Themselves for Family, Dads Say "Ok", I'm going to the Gym

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  • HappyAnna2014
    HappyAnna2014 Posts: 214 Member
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    ryry_ wrote: »
    mysteps2beauty wrote: »
    ryry_ wrote: »
    canadianlbs wrote: »
    lauracups wrote: »
    If you want something, you must first ask instead of assuming it's not available to you.

    i'm not sure it can just be assumed that anyone who's not getting hasn't asked. of the women who express this problem, it's probably safer to assume that at least some proportion of them have asked. repeatedly. and it's a guess on my part, but i think a lot of men give themselves more credit for their intentions than they do for their follow-through.

    so there's a gap. you can't unilaterally change something that is inherently reliant on two people's behaviour.
    Overall, if you want a partner who is not selfish or doesn't pull his/her share, don't marry or partner up with one. That's the kind of thing you are supposed to talk about and look for before you commit to each other.

    i've been single for most of my life, so i've seen a fair bit of that pre-commitment behaviour. almost everyone puts their best face forward while they're still motivated to make the 'right' impressions; it's just an inbuilt reflex. it actually takes a bit of concentration and willpower not to do it. plus, i strongly believe there are things people don't even find out about themselves relating to partnership until they're actually in the partnership and finding out at first hand.

    i think people revert to their 'real' selves once the commitment is taken care of. it's good and bad - there are things about it which are actually positives. but i do think their behaviour changes. who they are maybe doesn't, but which facets of themselves they make visible do.

    The point is moot. If a mother is dependent on a husband to provide child care or else she can't take care of herself, then a single mother is absolutely doomed. One need to only look around this site to know thats not true.

    -- Restricting food intake does not require a partner
    -- Going for walks/jogs with your child does not require a partner
    -- Doing body weight circuits in the living room while baby naps does not require a partner

    Thats only assuming you don't want to spend a dime and set up a home gym with equipment or join a gym that provides child care while you work out.

    So, the working mom needs to pick up the kid from child care, get home, feed said kid, help with homework, do the odd chore like cleaning the kitchen, doing laundry, then she is suppose to have time to do these exercises at home? Oh, wait, let's have her do them in the morning before everyone is up unless said husband gets up in time to feed the kids up, feed, dressed and take to childcare, or school...I have yet to hear of this happening....

    Assuming it is a single mom or a mom with a complete deadbeat husband, yes, working moms can and many do still take care of themselves.

    I was a single mother. I did all that. And I volunteered with the Boy Scout troop my son was in and taught Sunday School at the church we attend. And now that my son is in college, close to graduation, I miss doing it. I wasn't a SuperMom by any means, but I loved being a mother. <3
  • shannanicole77
    shannanicole77 Posts: 13 Member
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    I can see the general point you are trying to make with this post, but as a couple of replies have already pointed out - every situation is different.

    I'm a working mother (40+ hours outside of the home), a budding entrepreneur and living with my fiancee. We are a blended family with a variety of schedules. I get up at 4:25 am to work out before getting the kids fed, off to child care and start my work day at 8. I have an hour long lunch that I use to squeeze in 30 min cardio sessions when needed. If I want to workout after I get home I try to have a meal prepped that my guy can quickly fix and we can all eat together as a family. Am I exhausted some days? Yes, 5 out of 7. But I am in charge of reaching my goals, just me. Does it always work out perfectly? Absolutely not. But you have to keep working at it, get creative sometimes.

    I hate the thought of taking my four year old to child care at the gym after being at an all day pre schoool just so I can take a spinning class at 6 pm on a Tuesday. But maybe that is a night I ask her Aunt to pick her up so she gets spoiled for a couple of hours. My point being, there are solutions to any problem.

    It's about finding balance and asking for help, something that I'm here at MFP to continue to work on. Best wishes to you on your journey!

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